Wonkette
Likely GOP nominee for president in 2008 and self-loathing Virginian Jew George Allen has landed hisself a fancy book deal, following in the footsteps of his idol, Ken Layne. It is titled The Triumph of Character: What Washington Can Learn from the World of Sports, so readers should expect an aesthetic mash-up of Matt Christopher and Leni Riefenstahl.
Here’s the publisher’s press release describing the book that Mark Salter or whoever will be ghostwriting for Allen:
In The Triumph of Character, Allen brings together two all-American passions—politics and sports—and reveals what Washington could learn from the enduring principles found in athletic competition and team sports. Having spent the better part of his life with one foot in both the world of sports and the world of politics, Allen will draw parallels and contrasts between the two arenas. Using his own engaging and entertaining personal stories, Allen will illustrate how “characters with character” in the meritocracy of sports can provide principled, competitive examples of the ways to surmount challenges facing America.
Blah blah blah, we all know he’s just going to write about how the blacks look like jungle monkeys for a couple hundred pages.
George Allen’s road back? [Ben Smith]
Chapter 1: Ty Cobb
He’s spent the better part of his life with one foot in his mouth.
Didn’t Bill O’Reilly already write this? Or was it Hannity?
Lesson #1, drugs are cool as long as you have a strong players union, (but all other unions are bad), remember that macaca!
Sieg Heil, Georges Allen! Keep it up, clown, keep it up! That title is PERFECT for a self loathing Jew…
Crimanitleys! ENOUGH WITH THE GADDANG SPORTS ANALOGIES ALREADY, PEOPLE!!!9!11!!
“Having spent the better part of his life with one foot in both the world of sports and the world of politics…”
So one foot is in both of those worlds; what’s he doing with the other one?
Also, I’m pretty sure this book will be a love letter to that damn football he carries around with him all the time.
Yes, George, the whole fucking world already knows that you played football. Once. A long time ago. Give it up you douchebag. We don’t fucking care about you. At all. Forever. Good day.
Tell me, Mr. Allen. What is political parallel to the quarterback resting his hand against the center’s balls?
Don’t tell me he is back in the running for Presnit? I guess the bench is getting that weak, huh?
so he has his affair now, or after the book comes out?
“In The Triumph of Character Allen brings together the two fields in which he has been outstandingly mediocre — politics and sports. Using his trademark sack-of-hammers wit, Allen relates tales of sadism and stupidity which he, disturbingly, finds heartwarming and inspirational. Read this book not for its intended purpose but as a field guide to the species of utter second-ratedness that litter the landscape of both of these corrupt and unreflective endeavors.”
I am so sick of this kind of bullshit book. Gawd, he should go pole vaulting and impale himself.
“Using his own engaging and entertaining personal stories,…”
More ethnic slurs, I suppose.
The Triumph of Crotch: How Would You Like To See Macaque?
Fucking hell! Does every man who failed to outgrow puberty have to insist on trying to connect the way he makes his living with sports?
Look, sports are fun and and the exercise does your body good. The fact that a relatively few people are able to make gobs of money doing it doesn’t mean that it has any profound meaning that we can apply to our daily lives.
You want to find some meaning or direction in your life, try learning from someone who didn’t shove hypodermics full of horse steroids into their biceps .
I dunno, someone like Michael Jackson. Yeah, I bet he had some excellent suggestions on how to live one’s life.
Please- do not blame us- He was raised in some church. We disown him.
The ZOG
KU season tickets?
The Triumph of Character*
By George “Macaca” Allen
*Because Triumph of the Will was already taken.
Something about Books written by stupid RWers with the word TRIUMPH in the title make me feel uncomfortable.
Congrats Ken. I’m looking forward to the book. And I should just about be out of toilet paper by 2010.
moral of the story. dont heckle the audience, ever.
Washington could learn from the enduring principles found in athletic competition
Lemme see. Learn from sports… hmmm… Like:
• Men behaving badly
• Taking illegal, banned substances
• Showing no loyalty to a team
• Going after as much money as the market will bear
Somehow I think politicians have learned this already
I doubt it has any actual sports stories… this is a Republithug after all. Since it’s targeted to 8-year old boys, it’ll have hot pics of Macaca in some sexy yiff scenes and instructions on how to use webcams.
“Blah blah blah, we all know he’s just going to write about how the blacks look like jungle monkeys for a couple hundred pages.”
You just know this fucker is gonna quote Jimmy the Greek.
iantenna: Chapter 2: Jackie Robinson and breaking the macaca barrier. Chapter 3: The genius of Al Campanis and Jimmy the Greek.
SayItWithWookies: Jesus wept. I nominate you to write the blurb in the book jacket.
Wasn’t Allen mentioned in that leaflet, “Famous Jewish Sports Legends?”
Jesus and football, like being stuck in chapel at St. Albans. Blech.
Just got my hands on an exclusive excerpt:
“The black is a better athlete to begin with because he’s been bred to be that way — because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs. This goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trading, the owner — the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid.”
I’m looking forward to Chapter 12, “The Wit and Wisdom of Marge Schott”
iantenna: nappyduggs: WhatTheHeck: Win. Big time. What more could we add to the table of contents?
* Bill Belichick’s lessons of sportsmanship.
* How to be a third rate H.S. sports machine (Glen Ridge, NJ) and rape a retarded girl, trash a kid’s house, and get free BJ’s–and get away with it!
* Rules are for Pussies–especially when you quit: The Rick Pitino Story.
* Hank Aaron’s fun guide to answering racist death threats!
* Al Davis: Just win baby!
* How submit big projects to the voters, lose, and build them anyway, with their money! By the City Fathers of Seattle.
* Pete Rose’s guide to handicapping elections (Rule 1: bet on the guy who doesn’t use ethnic slurs in public.)
* Calling people macaca. Also.
Yeah, this is going to be a real ground breaker. Kind of like How to Make Friends and Abuse Them in the Locker Room.
Ugh. Thank God Macaca’s actually from LA - Virginia really just doesn’t need another tick against it.
Macaca: How to Kill the Jew Inside All of Us
with foreword by Jesse ‘Hymietown’ Jackson
This sounds just like my book:
“Ice and Fire: How Jack Kemp Taught Me How to Masturbate”
Lesson 2: Racial epithets are fun, just try not to use ones the Darkies also know.
Aw, I hope there’s a recent picture of his football on the cover. I’ve missed that.
Politics and Sports=win at all costs, fuck everything else!
Using his own engaging and entertaining personal stories
From Pop Warner teabagging to GOP Tea Party groping. Don’t miss George’s detailed moments of glory…and humility.
DangerousLiberal:
* Wrestling Match Boners - Causes and Cures
Arbeit macht frei, and slapping man ass is not gay if it is done wile in the act of sport!
PopeyesPipe: I learned from the great Giant QB Scott Brunner…
I’m sorry George. It’s quite clear that your high school coach touched your butthole.
Actually, George Allen has been taking correspondence courses in Racial Sensitivity since his tragic loss to Jim Webb and will lead off his book with chapters on Steve McNair and fellow Virginian Michael Vick.
rambone: Got picked on by the jocks in high school, eh?
guerilla-nation: Excellent reference.
Now for the award for Most Narcissistic Book Title. And our nominees are:
The Triumph of Character by George Allen
The Trust Committed to Me by Mark Sanford
The Book of Virtues by William J. Bennett
A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity by Bill O’Reilly
Worship Me or I’ll Sue You by Sarah Palin
assistant/atlas: Last time I bare my soul to you heartless bastards!
When will we recognize that only D&D players deserve respect and free blowjobs?!!
Jukesgrrl: A Charge to Keep by Dubya.
Common Sense by Glenn Beck, though has to take it.
I do not want to see steroids in Congress. Those fuckers are dangerous enough as it is.
What can we learn from sports?
-Cartels: in the form of leagues, are good
-Socialism: subsidization payments to poorer teams
-International Relations: you can have a World championship of the world that only involves the USA (and maybe Canada)
-Red-tape and regulation: rules of leagues
-Big Brother: video review of referree’s decisions
-Bribes: If you are a poor college athlete, people will give you stuff
-Crime: you can get away with it if you are a star…OJ
Did you just say “frontrunner” for GOP Preznit in ‘12??????
He should only have to have Jindaloo for his running mate.
Based on what I’ve read about George, what does he know about character?
Please keep in mind, George was a quaterback who once had more ~~tackles~~ in a game than pass completions.
Washington has already learned everything it needs to know from sports:
1) Spending money only occasionally solves anything, but always keeps everybody employed
2) When in doubt, promise to get tough without explaining what that might mean
3) Keep the blacks out of management whenever possible
He’ll always be second banana in the competitive world of politicians who think it’s profound to make sports analogies for the stupid things they do in the politics.
Palin/Allen 2012!!
Fuckin hell, an entire book of inspirational sports B.S.
Sports analogies: distorting the dynamics of complex policy principles in order to deceive and enrage knuckle-dragging NASCAR retards since 1920.
Purrr-fekt for communicating with the current crop of zombie Confederate fundamentalists.
Other important things Washington has learned and still can learn from Sports:
- Spread the message that anyone can achieve success through hard work when in reality most people will get used up and thrown away.
- Your best years will be the few in the beginning. After that it is a pathetic attempt to keep your privileges.
- You can get the masses to believe your represent positive ideals such as loyalty and success through hard work, when in reality it is all about the money, fame, and poontang, baby.
- There seems to be no end of appetite for press conferences in which a handful of boring, trite, overused, banal, drained, dull, exhausted, flat, hackneyed, hokey, moth-eaten, musty, old hat, ordinary, pedestrian, ready-made, routine, run-of-the-mill, set, shopworn, stale, stereotyped, stock, threadbare, timeworn, tired, uninspired, unoriginal, vapid, worn, worn-out, cornball, mildewed, platitudinous, used-up, warmed-over, well-worn cliches are offered as brilliant commentary by often barely articulate participants in the activities just seen.
One thing I haven’t quite figured out yet is how to gamble on politics, while sports betting is a time-honored tradition.
I’m surprised this unappealing volume by this most unattractive author isn’t already on the remainder tables.
what else can george teach us? we just learned from a former sportscaster all about keeping your head on the goal and helping the ball to score.
and you spelled hissef wrong.
Chapter 35: Ex-QBs Must Never Under Any Circumstances Fuck A Waitress
George’s dad, the late Redskins coach, had the philosophy “the future is now.” So instead of trying to draft younger players, he’d trade for/buy used-up old guys. So of like what the GOP will have to do in 2012.
Gingrich/Allen 2012!
Ugh. I didn’t know this dork was one of them there Sports Metaphor wags. Does he do that invisible football fake thing that Jack Kemp insisted on doing?
And another thing. The press release sez:
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What has he been doing with the other foot?