Hey, we tried to make the headline concise, but these daily health care reform games are just nuts. Okay, so, TODAY’S INTERNET HEALTH CARE BABBLE RECAP: Rahm Emanuel told a newspaper that the White House would be open to the lamers’ version of health care reform, and then progressives went nuts, and then Obama released a statement from inside Lenin’s coffin supposedly “walking back” Rahm’s statement, and this is when the Halperins of the world started paying attention because it allowed them to write simple “Rahm vs. Obama” narratives, and then progressives actually read Obama’s “walk back” statement closely and saw that it was worded rather sneakily and wasn’t that different from what Rahm said in the first place, and now no one will ever be able to see a doctor again and we’ll all die and go to Hell, where this debate will presumably resume in another 10 to 20 years.
The Wall Street Journal started it all this morning with a write-up of an interview with Rahm Emanuel, who said fairly catastrophic things:
Mr. Emanuel said one of several ways to meet Mr. Obama’s goals is a mechanism under which a public plan is introduced only if the marketplace fails to provide sufficient competition on its own. He noted that congressional Republicans crafted a similar trigger mechanism when they created a prescription-drug benefit for Medicare in 2003. In that case, private competition has been judged sufficient and the public option has never gone into effect.
This (rightfully) infuriated progressives by suggesting that Obama was willing to compromise on the inclusion of a public health care option in a final reform bill, something he campaigned on and has kept urging the reluctant Congress to adopt — without ever going so far as to say, “I won’t sign any bill without a public option,” a pledge that would REALLY HELP ENSURE THAT THE DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS DOESN’T DROP THE PUBLIC OPTION, WHICH THEY WILL OBVIOUSLY DO OTHERWISE, BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL MASSIVE, MASSIVE PUSSIES, ALWAYS, ABOUT EVERYTHING.
(Somehow evil *Chuck Schumer* is a token non-pussy in this health care debate, which is weird, just for the record.)
And the pussies’ compromise of choice, the one that just won’t disappear, is this Trigger suggestion, where a public option won’t exist unless huge for-profit corporations fail to meet certain cost-cutting and coverage obligations by certain times. In other words, insurance companies will do absolutely nothing, and Congress will never institute the public option.
So Rahm Emanuel pissed off the progressives, leading Obama to issue this statement from Putin’s tiger cage:
I am pleased by the progress we’re making on health care reform and still believe, as I’ve said before, that one of the best ways to bring down costs, provide more choices, and assure quality is a public option that will force the insurance companies to compete and keep them honest. I look forward to a final product that achieves these very important goals.
This was immediately hailed as a “walk back” of Rahm’s gaffe; we cannot tell you how many shitty versions of the headline, “Obama lays SMACKDOWN to Rahm: Shut up, biotch,” popped into our Google Reader a few hours ago.
But as TPM’s Brian Beutler points out, Obama sort of reiterated what Rahm said, just with slick, dancing words: “This is a restatement of Obama’s position: That he supports a public option, but that reform efforts must lower costs, expand options, and guarantee quality, and he’ll entertain any plan that accomplishes those goals. In other words, his goal is a plan that works. But that doesn’t go nearly so far as to say–as Sen. Chuck Schumer has said repeatedly–that he opposes a trigger.”
In short, the lesson of today’s health care anger-parsing cycle is that if the Democrats want to pass a reform bill with 60 Senate votes, the final product Obama signs will probably just be to mail every American a pistol and a single bullet with a little note saying, “For when you get cancer.”
White House Open to Deal on Public Health Plan [WSJ]
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They better not fuck this up. They get one chance.
Kenya Indonesian Muslin Fascist Socialist Muslins of the World UNITE! You have nothing to lose except your load of a Vice President…
The “trickster” was a part of african folklore.
More proof of Obama’s fiscal recklessness: every American ALREADY owns a gun.
i can’t make any sense of this. let’s all breakdance.
Obama, you pussy.
“Trigger suggestion”??? ‘hell did the Grifter’s kid get in the middle of this debate? Are we never safe from the word-salad media circus that is the Snowbilly? Also, too but: ‘Bama shouting from Lenin’s coffin & Putin’s tiger cage: WIN! ha!
And a month’s free placebos for everyone!
The thing is, hasn’t he been saying this forever? It’s always been “we don’t want to draw a line in the sand,” blah blah blah. What Rahm and he said today really isn’t anything new. But, hey, what’s the political blogosphere but a platform to shriek about things we already know.
I thought Rahm had decided to leave all gaffes to Joe Biden.
[re=357147]RushLickBall[/re]: except until Barry Sotero personally steals them all and keeps them stashed in that wierd meat locker in the basement bunker of where Joey the Biden lives.
This is a bit off topic, but this clip is a must see. According to Mika Brzezinski, conservatives in this country are not having their voices heard.
You got to this, she is insane.
http://progressnotcongress.org/?p=2066
Meanwhile, in Paris, my ambulance ride, 4 hours in emergency, complete run of lab tests, and friendly attractive French social worker to comfort me in the waiting area cost me a total of $85.
This is all funny to me because my own healthcare plan already includes a trigger option, meaning that if it gets too bad I will have to shoot myself because there is no fucking way I can, as a self-”employed” merkin, can afford healthcare for anything larger than a cat.
You know, I not sure I can handle a president who negotiates intelligently with idiots as opposed to just saying that it is his way or the highway, and why are you helping terrorists anyway?
Somehow evil *Chuck Schumer* Scare asterisks?
And Obama’s arms stretched across Europe and over the Atlantic and grabbed Joe’s and Rahm’s heads and smacked them together.
I feel like this is an appropriate forum to bring up the fact that my Blue Cross HMO assigned primary care physician’s clinic receptionist hung up on me when I tried to get an appointment to *talk* about birth control.
I’m in LA, not like, the rural midwest and I just wanted to ask her about the Pill versus some other nonsense, not abort 666 babies. And she hung up on me because she said she is Catholic or the clinic is Catholic and they can’t talk about these things. It was insane.
[re=357167]One Yield Regular[/re]: Ah, but did you have a CHOICE of attractive French social workers? NO??? Evil SOCIALISMZ!!!!!!1!!
These chatty cathys go nuts when Daddy’s away. Stern evil eyes for all when Papa Barry gets back stateside.
So exactly why do we base health care on a stuffed Republican horse?
[re=357169]Crank Tango[/re]: hey, I have that same heath insurance plan. Except mine has the ‘fistfull of drugs + whiskey & dropped off in the untrackable wilderness’ option.
Fuck the Dems. If they dont come through on universal health care I will go Paultardy or Green. No joke.
What is US America afraid of? Regular checkups? Not going into bankruptcy having to visit the doctor? Treating STDs or other nagging health problems? Not paying $25 + $100 handling fee for a couple of aspirin? Denying Healthcare Insurance CEOs the money to pay for threesomes with supermodels?
[re=357161]Vulpes82[/re]: This is true, forgive me. I just like to write one long, unreadable post about health care every month or two.
Trigger is stuffed. Just so you know.
[re=357166]The-Gentle-Art[/re]: Q: How do we know MSNBC will never hire Sarah Palin?
A: They already have Mika Brzezinski to represent batshit crazy.
Silly preznit, healthcare is for people with jobs and money. And even some of them can’t afford it.
[re=357167]One Yield Regular[/re]: Yeah, well Glenn Beck insists that it took you two years to see a doctor and as a result you’re now dead. And he’s on the radio, so he must be right.
[re=357169]Crank Tango[/re]: Spoken like someone who’s never had to take a cat to the emergency vet with an embolism lodged in the junction of her femoral arteries. Three days and $2300 later, I let her know that she better be pretty damn healthy for the rest of her life.
Isn’t the “Trigger Compromise” the one Roy Rogers worked out with Dale Evans allowing him to suck horse cock on the second and fourth Sunday of every month?
I believe it’s where the phrase “itchy trigger finger” comes from.
If the insurance companies fail to meet certain specific goals for cost, quality etc. they will be punished by being forced to take more bailout money.
[re=357190]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Under ObamaCare, your pussy will be covered. Wait…
[re=357167]One Yield Regular[/re]:
They take useless US Dollars?!? I’ll be right over!
[re=357151]GDuvall[/re]: To be (almost) serious for a second – I still think First Comrade O’Bama should give to US kids the same sort of health-care Congress gets, and let the kids keep it for the rest of their lives provided they start paying taxes on it when they start working. That way, when Obama assembles the kids into his Obama Muslin Youth Army to seize the Bibles, Guns, Cash, Trucks, Moon-Pies, NASCAR beer-titties and White Wimmen from the Real Merikins, the kids will be fit’n'healthy enough to get it done! OBAMAHU AKBAR!!!!!
[re=357178]tunamelt[/re]: You shouldn’t've asked her for aborted fetus recipes – at least, not before lunch…
[re=357198]RushLickBall[/re]: Will ObamaCare cover dental work as well? My 9 month old pussy took a header out a 2nd story window, landed on her face, and had to have one of her sabertoofs capped.
Downside = cost almost 2 Gs
Upside = she’s flossin’ a gold grill
Wait…
This should be a Family Circus cartoon, in a big circle: Obama stands in doorway carrying his bags, back from Russia, and there stand Rahm and Joe, in front of a broken vase. Each is sucking his thumb with one hand and pointing at the other with the other hand.
[re=357205]Extemporanus[/re]: Pussy with teeth? Somehow SnowBilly ends up in every conversation.
[re=357187]Jim Newell[/re]: There’s nothing to forgive, of course. I was really more talking about the rest of the political blogosphere. Wonkette really is its own weird, wonderful thing. Keeps me sane. Plus, I could never be mad at you, my gingersnap!
You people don’t get it, do you? Michael Jackson died.
According to a scan of the afternoon news shows, nothing else matters. Except for Fox, where Glenn Beck has some veteran guy who lost his legs and ran a marathon anyway and I can’t quit eating this delicious chocolate cake, so fuck Beck and that guy.
Allow me to point out the really tricksy part of this exchange today–everyone is talking about details of healthcare reform (which had buried with Farrah and Ed and Billy and ((soon)) Michael). The Presnit once again grabs the public attention to focus on the thing he wants focused.
Tell me this wasn’t set op with Rahm before Obama left US airspace.
[re=357178]tunamelt[/re]: I’m not sure it was the appropriate place to bring it up, but I appreciated the story. “I’m Catholic, so go fuck yourself.” Of course, I’m sure you have many, many choices about who your health care provider is.
[re=357178]tunamelt[/re]: Ah, but what part of LA? Pasadena? Inland Empire? El Segundo? There are plenty of places where conservative assholes who cannot distinguish between the secular Hippocratic oath and their religious views hang out.
[re=357169]Crank Tango[/re]: You obviously haven’t taken the cat to the doc for awhile either since you haven’t shot it already.
For a few cents more, they could send two bullets and a note that says, “One is for cancer, the other if Sarah Palin becomes president.”
Rahm has DLC in his blood. He just can’t help himself.
But, Jim, how will they mail us guns and bullets AFTER they make guns illegal?
[re=357166]The-Gentle-Art[/re]: “This is a bit off topic, but this clip is a must see. According to Mika Brzezinski, conservatives in this country are not having their voices heard.”
These people will go away slowly if we stop assuming sincerity and stop watching Fox news and Fox-lite programs on MSNBC.
Can’t we all just “get along” and let Republicans ram whatever crap they want to down our throats again? I think Republicans represent the fast lane to Fascism, and Democrats are speed bumps. We all wind up worshiping der Fatherland and handing all our rights over to corporations, but it just takes a couple of years longer because the Democrats have to pretend to care. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have that so-called “two party” system of ours. Republicans – Fascist Right and Democrats – Hard Right.
How about Congress switch over to “trigger” care?
This is the longest I’ve gone without Sarah Palin discussion in five days. I am disoriented.
[re=357178]tunamelt[/re]: Well, if you ever decide to swing by and let your provider know that due to their reluctance to Pill you, you decided to become REALLY REALLY GAY OMG SO GAY, I hereby volunteer to play your dykey-bitch-whore-slutty-big-tittied girlfriend. I’m good at that.
I think Rahm and Joey B have a bet going to see who can make Barry angry and have him go all “The Incredible Hulk”. Leave him alone fellas, he’s already in deep serious with Michelle.
[re=357161]Vulpes82[/re]: Watching the health care debate is a little like watching an election in that one week it’s all “Free abortions for everyone!” and everyone’s happy then the next week it’s “well, if we’re really nice to insurance companies, maybe they’ll give some health care to poor people” and everybody’s grumpy. Since this is all in a huge state of flux as nothing has even been proposed yet, I’ve decided not to pay attention to any of this until the bill dies it’s inevitable death on the Senate Floor.
[re=357262]GaySailor[/re]:
Why do you still have your clothes on? Time for an avatar change. Yes You Can!
[re=357264]GaySailor[/re]:
Because they are already retarded.
[re=357232]Native of SL UT[/re]: [re=357232]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Um my cats are gonna be pissed when I tell them that they only can afford the trigger option too. Still, 2300 is less than I owe from some procedures last year when I actually had supposedly good health insurance…
Find a dozen Rahm Emanuel anagrams in the following AP story.
Headline: Rahm Emanuel Makes Humaner Meal
Dateline Washington Dicey
Rahmy baby has pulled back the purple curtain on the giant bronze tit of his plan for merkins everywhere: put them on the menu.
The humane lamer himself was as a lean Hummer at the manure helm as he stood on his fish tale and described a haul mermen, proudly proclaiming, “anal here Mum!” And Mama, nee Hurl, replied, “Mama Hen rule!” And then, smelling the proclaimed sphincter, “Mama hen lure!” R.E. then added further enticement, saying, “Enema, Ma Hurl. Heal near, Mum.” Adding, “Hare lane, Mum!”
But she rejected him, saying “Me real human near ham mule. Rum, me. He anal.”
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED OF PAYING $710 PER MONTH FOR CRAP HEALTH-CARE (with $5,000 yearly deductible etc etc)
COME ON.
Rahm Emanuel is out of touch with the needs of the American populace. Just look at him– he takes his position of power and privilege for granted to the extent that he will gladly don expensive suits from Neiman Marcus or American Male, or wherever but just to be a smart-ass, he will not even use the insurance that he pays for to get his damn thyroid fixed and take care of those buggy fucking peepers. Jeez, man. Take some kelp pills or something, for the love of Mary.
“… the final product Obama signs will probably just be to mail every American a pistol and a single bullet with a little note saying, “For when you get cancer.”
Holy crap, we must have the same HMO!
But seriously, how about this compromise….all the blue states get government-run health care and the red states can keep their private systems. And then all the people in red states will die and everyone can have healthcare! Hooray!
Why, why, why are the democrats so pants-shittingly scared right now? First the ricockulous “no terrorists on US soil” thing, and now congressional zombie Chuck Schumer is out last, best hope for a health care package that isn’t the status quo?
I know they want to look like they’re “playing ball” with republicans and don’t want to feed the Glenn Beck paranoia machine, but what’s the point of ever having a majority of you spend it curled up in the fetal position? It’s not like anyone is really going to take notice and say “thank you, sorry about the FEMA camps and the ACORN rumors!”
AIPAC Emanuel’s orders:
Single-payer will NEVER be on the table for “them”
Death or major profits for insurance corps?
FED approved!
[re=357293]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I know, by necessity, much political reporting is tea leaf-reading, because you don’t know until stuff gets voted on, but this debate in particular seems to be a neverending series of “OMG, did Obama say he only ‘prefers’ a public option or that he would ‘like’ it?!? THE PUBLIC OPTION IS DEAD!!!111!! Write your Congresscritter immediately!” blog posts by the “progressive” blogosphere. I know this is an important issue, and a lot of it is just trying to keep the pressure up so that something actually gets done combined with the natural political blogospheric tendency towards hysteria (pageviews!), but the constant fretting/outrage cycle is really, really tiring.
Be mad. Tell them you are mad. Act mad. Stay mad. It’s tiring, but god damn it, I’m tired of having gone to school for 20 years and not being able to get a job with health coverage.
The salary is good enough, but without benefits it’s a choice between the take-home pay of a student or Regence-Blue Shield’s famous never-pay policy.
Public option with no trigger this summer or one term, Barry. Those warm brown eyes of yours won’t keep the Jacobins away.
[re=357461]meyotch[/re]: Here we are faced with the very real problem of the Democrats having no credible opposition. Public option with no trigger this summer or one term, Barry. That sounds nice, but who are you going to vote for instead of Obama? The other 12 candidates promising universal health care? The fact is the Dems in the Senate are going to give as much as they possibly can to Big Insurance and will only pull back from giving them everything when there’s a public outcry. We won’t get a public option. We’re going to get fed a steaming pile of donkey shit and Obama’s gonna tell us it’s a hot fudge sundae. And what are we going to do to punish them because we don’t like this? Where are the Republicans or credible third party candidates who favor universal, single-payer health care? They don’t exist. We are so screwed. And as goes health care, so will go energy policy, environmental policy, education, etc. No credible opposition means the ‘special interests’ (lobbyists for big, wingnut corporations) get everything they want and we get lied to about what just happened. God bless America.
[re=357167]One Yield Regular[/re]: That’s because you were tastefully dressed.
[re=357169]Crank Tango[/re]: Apparently you have not had a diabetic cat that also needs anti-nausea medicine (and not the cheap anti-nausea medicine because a side-effect sends him into a rage).
How is it that Congress has healthcare benefits for themselves but not for their constituents? Why can’t we be given the option to join the Federal Employees Health Benefits Program (FEHBP)?
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