Wonkette
- PSYCHOSIS STILL VERY MUCH ON THE TABLE: Sarah Palin is getting downright macabre with all those reporters on her fishing boat: “You know, politically speaking, if I die, I die. So be it.” Yeesh! There’s clearly more than a dash of terrifying Jesus-y martyr stuff going on with this nutball… we are scared. Oh and make sure you don’t miss the “Department of Law” thing in your Internet rounds today; we considered posting it but, well… it’s just teed up too high. [AP]
“I die, I die.” One can only hope.
“I am prepared for martyrdom!”
Her geographic position whe she said this is just too appropriate: “a spit of sand at the end of a peninsula.”
Whaddaya mean: “psychosis still very much on the table”??? When was batshit insanity ever taken off of Grifter Snowbilly’s table?
President Thomas Whitmore: What do you want us to do?
Captured Alien: Die. Die.
I thought she just meant there was a sextape in the works. Although I’d rather watch Bristol, I won’t be choosy.
Sitting at the table with the bottle and one glass, idly spinning the chamber of the pistol loaded with one round, talking about her enemies.
For God so loved the world that he gaveth his one and only Daughter, that whoever shall believeth in her shall not perish, but have an eternal spot on the Washington Post editorial page. Sarah 3:16
We got the Department of Laws, The Department of Schoolin’, The Department of Doctors and the Department of Drivin’ and Flyin’- all here in DC. Atchualy, them doctors is over in that there spensive Bethesda but you know them-thinkin’ they are better than us folks cause they went to college or somthin to larn them the doctorin’ stuff.
The Department of Law will protect her, because we have laws about discriminating against the handicapped. And that biatch has gone the full-retard this past week.
I have argued that she’s too stupid and inarticulate to land a Fox talky-talk gig, but then I remembered the cockeyed blonde from Fox ‘n’ Friends ‘n’ Stuff. But national politics? Wingnuts are that stupid, but Sarah’s too stupid/lazy to ever organize an Obama-style grassroots campaign to fleece them. And Republicans with money know a retard when they see one. She’s done, other than a career as a winger celeb, gradually drifting down the speaking circuit to Oliver North status.
I don’t want to be alarmist, but … I’d suggest not hanging around anywhere that’s line-of-sight from the top floor of the Alaska Governor’s Mansion during the next couple of weeks.
She jumps in that water and the boat accidentally sails away, she’ll live 4 minutes, tops, in that cold, cold water. Wouldn’t be as dramatic as Bud Dwyer, but no self-made martyr could ever reach those heights (depths?) again. Let’s just pray she forgets to remove her life vest. For humanity.
Elitists. Not everyone knows about the Houseislature or the Supreme Burrito..give her a break, she’s a maverick, an “outsider”.
After interviews by Couric, designer clothes and the rubber chicken circuit, perhaps Alaska has lost its allure for Mooselini? As Abe Burrows put it, “How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm, after they’ve seen the farm?”
Like most roadkill, she’s startin’ to swell in the summer sun.
Man alive, but there’s enough crazy spouting forth from Dame Snowbilly that it almost makes Micheles Bachmann and Malkin look sane by comparison. Almost.
It’s nice to know that the losing VP candidate who accused Barack Obama of palling around with terrorists, being a socialist, being un-American and wanting to destroy America is so sick of the politics of personal destruction. I wonder if any of those reporters who lined up to interview her asked her how she felt about those statements during the campaign.
I’m waiting to see what Billy Kristol has to say (about the Department of Law), also.
Maybe its the menopause and psychosis. Or maybe its just Hanlon’s razor at work: “Never attribute to malice (or psychosis) that which can be attributed to stupidity.” Note the use of ()s.
azw88: Do we want to give her any credit and maybe think she was referring to the Office of White House Counsel? Even if we do, that office does not represent the President in personal matters, such as ethics complaints…
Did she end one of her sit downs with “Allah Akbar?”
Still, can you blame her? Clearly having a foriegn, gay, black Muslim as President is one of the signs of the end times? Thankfully, white Jesus will save all of those who quit in his Name.
“You know, politically speaking, if I die, I die. So be it.”
That was scrawled on the interior of Hitler’s bunker.
Dear Wonkette:
I am writing to complain about the post immediate below this one dealing with the swearing in of Al Franken to the Senate. That story has nothing to do with Sarah Palin, and is ergo un-newsworthy in the extreme.
In addition, the site is criminally negligent in combining two Palin-related factoids into this one single post: (a) having to politically die and (b) being misinformed about a supposed Federal Department of Law. Why could not this be two posts? Better yet, three posts, with straight reporting of the Deparmtent of Law quote in one post, and, after a quick check of the Internets, a brutal fisking in yet another post.
Plus, more Phunny Photoshops if you phlease.
Sincerely,
No one.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Now that’s some kinda sick Charlie’s Angels waiting to happen.
At the risk of killing the snark, the Attorney General’s office in Alaska is called the “Department of Law.” I think that she just failed to name the federal body correctly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-wJNpWgss8
SayItWithWookies: I’m starting to think that Palin resigned because there were not enough idiots yelling “Kill the Nigger!” in Alaska. You got to get your Ass down to the lower 48 for that.
I hope this isn’t going to be another Jonestown massacre.
People of Wasilla, don’t drink the Kool-Aid!!!
Andrew Sullivan is usually a little to twee for me (whatever that means–sounds hoity toity to this okie) so thanks for the link.
Where the fuck was the Dept. of Law when the Clintons needed them? Who knew the fucking Republinuts could come up with a frontrunner even dumber than the last douche they stole an election for.
Mumpedo: Shut up.
If I die? I would pay to see something like this:
die; die in a woman’s lap. To experience a sexual orgasm. ‘Benedick [to
Beatrice]. I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in
thy eyes’, MUCH ADO, v ii 99-101
or as some might say, “cum like a dawg”
Richard Cohen (of all people) has a pretty good piece in today’s WaPo (of all places) about Palin, parenthesis closed.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/06/AR2009070602981.html?hpid=opinionsbox1
kingofmeh: Wait a minute. That makes what she said even more nonsensical. She was theoretically distinguising between why the White House, comparatively speaking, would be an easier environment for her than Alaska. If the Alaska Department of Laws wouldn’t protect her against ethics complaints, what makes her think that the federal Department of Laws (sic) would?
Dammit. There I go. Trying to use logic when deciphering the ramblings of the crazy hillbilly snow queen. Never mind. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Remember the WWI song, “How You Keep ‘Em Down On the Farm After They’ve Seen Paree”?
One of those wonkeratti who keeps making up song lyrics we never read should create one called, “How You Gonna’ Keep Her in the Consignment Store Once She’s Shopped Neiman’s.”
Like Roseann Barr and Tom Arnold said of themselves after they married, your worst nightmare–white trash with money.
Get ready, Nordstrom–Lil’ Sarah’s on her way with a million bucks in that fist of hers.
Will she finally give in and have that hair cut into a decent style and buy some fucking contact lenses? Way back when, she said her style was to look “school marmish” so she would be taken seriously. I think she can officially abandon that futile goal and go to a day spa for a good makeover.
From panem et circuses to popcorn and Palin.
no Misfits lyrics yet ?
norbizness: Sorry, nor, but I have to differ. ‘Lil Sarah’s entertaining and all, but hasn’t Mark Sanford (R-BatshitC) said anything nutty recently? Surely his endless Doctor Phil monologue hasn’t actually ended.
I’m exhausted, feel like shit and have a lot to do–I needs me extra doses of Republinuttiness.
DustBowlBlues: ALSO! Mark- where are you?
Wait! There’s no Department of Law in the White House? Well where the fuck’d they put it? They better find it, because here comes Suicide Barbie, channeling Huey Long and puffing on General MacArthur’s corncobe pipe. Ma and Pa Kettle come to Washington.
as.the.world.burns: you mean like “die die die ms. palin, just shut your pretty mouth”?
If she dies, she dies.
DRAGOOOOOOOOOO
HEY EVERYBODY!! MICHAEL JACKSON DIED!! ALSO!!
-SP
Her political aspirations are still alive?
I would love to see Miss Sarah on some kind of “Survivor” show — making fire with two sticks, talking goofy shit, while her sunbrowned body spills out of some torn Daisy Dukes and bikini top. Then the tangle-haired daughters would come out of the bushes and the Main Dude would plunk some big bloody gob of meat down to be BBQd and give Miss Sarah some deep-tongue, Jesus-loving kisses. America would go nuts. You betcha.
I refuse to believe she was ever a sportscaster. There is no way she could even read a teleprompter script without screwing it up. And didn’t she have to pass English Comp to get a degree? The many colleges she attended must hold gold mines of her written works, surely to be the stuff of thesis and dissertations for centuries to come.
No, no, no: She’s clearly speaking German.
“You know, politically speaking, if I the, I the. Also”
It’s so simple, really.
“What is good for Alaska, energy independence, our contribution to national security and reining in our own state government, which contributes to reining in our national government, which is what we need.”
Anyone up for diagramming that sentence?
She isn’t gonna die. (Well, not soon, anyway.) But within a month she’ll be hanging around sleazy Wasilla bars: “Governor? Oh yeah, I used to be a governor. It’s a tough racket.” [drinks]