Wonkette
Here’s Joe Biden swearing in Al Franken to the Senate today, finally, while failed adult Norm Coleman plays Foosball in his parents’ basement, alone, sobbing. Now the Democrats officially have 60 votes in the Senate! EVERYONE GO GAY-MOLEST A CHILD, NOW. [TPM]
Ann Coulter is so beside himself that his undescended testicle finally popped out.
cool. the herd of cats numbers sixty. good luck with that.
EVERYONE GO GAY-MOLEST A CHILD, NOW
Driving my van to Wasilla as I type, with lollipops for Trig!
Gay molest a child, Jim? I do read this at work, you know…
I have nothing against Al Franken (except that he’s possibly less funny than Norm Coleman). But isn’t this kind of ridiculous? I mean, what’s next, a B movie actor as president?
If that ain’t enuf to curdle Bill O’Reilly’s shit.
I have a feeling Franken will have a lot of fresh ideas because his mouth opens and closes like a Zip-Loc® bag.
jbd: Hopefully a porn star junior senator from Louisiana.
EVERYONE GO GAY-MOLEST A CHILD, NOW.
You do know he isn’t Republican, right?
If the weed tax doesn’t pay for universal health care by the end of this year I’m going to be very disappointed. Just like every other year of my life, now that I think of it.
More cowbell!
slithytoves: I do read this at work, you know
Don’t worry, I’m sure that there’ll still be plenty of kids around during your break. I kid, I kid.
digibal235: Only as long as that porn star’s name is not Bobby Jindal.
Suck it Rush you big fat idiot.
EVERYONE GO GAY-MOLEST A CHILD, NOW.
Now that’s just stinkin’ thinkin’.
I think I’ll just do some kiddie mouth-raping now.
SKS dirt - http://www.newsday.com/news/local/nassau/ny-lirap0712946072jul06,0,212746.story
“Everyone go gay-molest a child, now.”
I thought this was a post about Franken’s swearing in, not the Jackson memorial service…
Al Franken is a Big, Fat Senator. Yay! Suck it Faux!
Wait, did Joe Biden just gay-marry Al Franken?
BTW, is it wrong to be hot for Frannie Franken? She’s the most adorable nerd hausfrau EVAR.
Suck it Wingnuts!
DIAPER PARTY AT VITTERS!! - Bring your own Dominatrix…
Brief, but eloquent. I’m looking forward to the Franken Senate.
Now that we control the government until at least 2010, there’s no rush. So don’t just go gay-molesting the first child you see. Take your time, and make it special.
Mondale, Klobuchar and Franken? That is a whole lot of Minnesota Nice for one day.
BTW - just what does this have to do with Michael Jackson??!!?
Send your money to me, Al Franken…
I believe Franken will become a successful senator for Minnesota and in about 5 years’ time will easily win re-election. He’s a brainiac, a hard-working student who prepped for the election by studying what he didn’t know (farming, iron range) about his state, and he has the capable Amy Klobuchar to guide him. He’s been involved in Dem politics most of his adult life. It will be interesting to see which industries try to co-opt him (pharma, oil, insurance?) and how he’ll deal with that. I think he’ll find a way to stay independent. And I hope it was telling, and a good omen, that the first bear hug he received after being sworn in was from Bernie Sanders.
Hey, look! Joe Biden’s in charge of the Senate!
Lazy Media: Thank you! There is something about that woman I love. And I bet she makes a mean hotdish.
nice clown suit.
New Rules just declared by Bendoverandtakeit Reid: 61 votes now needed to prevent filibuster.
Lazy Media:
We know who you are, Mr. Frankin. No need to fuss about with this silly “Lazy Media” nickname….
OK, but with the Pope’s new world authority, he and all other senators are going to be redundant, so he better keep a side job.
The sound of exploding wingnut heads is distracting me from my work. Enough already!
What’s Michael Caine doing standing behind Franken?! Damn, he’s in everything! And he’s not even Murrican.
nbawriter: Yeah, Jim, as good Democrats, we should be getting drunk and hanging out with whores and other women not our good ladies wives, while doing drugs. (NB, when have you ever heard a Republican say “I was really drunk at the time,” as an excuse? Hell, every fourth news conference from a Kennedy starts with that.) Our worse transgression might be with a 15 year-old, but, hey, we’re human.
No, if we were going to gay molest a child, it would be within the structure of a fulfilling long term relationship. Joehoya has it right. You don’t just send text messages to any intern you meet asking about his penis. That would be stupid.
martinette: Bill O’Reilly has already declared today a dark day for all of Humanity. And since he is personally pissing on Micheal Jackson’s grave because he was allegedly sexually freaky (and Bill knows sexually freaky), It is Franken that’s got him down. Apparently he lies. You can buy one of his books to prove it. And how can you not trust Bill when he has personally won a Peabody award?
Let the Al Franken Decade begin.
I want my own Department of Law (in my driveway) and a dead fish, goin’ with the flow, in my pot.
hobospacejunkie: Thank you for noticing that, too and also.
I may be from MN, but Bernie’s my man because I am a Commie, of course.
Altho there were handshakes and a few hugs (the first from Ensign? Oy) all around,
the enthusiasm with Bernie was definitely heartening. Al will do just fine.
Suck it, O’Reilly.
About time we got some professional comedy in the Senate, its been too over the top with bad burlesque skits involving bathrooms and/or staff members in recent years. But keep an eye on Norm Coleman. Yes, he’s lost elections to a comedian and a pro wrestler; but given the condition of the Repugs he’s a front-runner for the 2012 nomination.
no joke handshake buzzers?!? franken sucks.
Scrodd: I never paid much attention to all you people calling Ann Coulter a man.
But I was watching the Bill O’riely spin the news last night and she/he was on. I had not noticed this before but I swear she/he has more of an Adams apple then I do.
And I’m supposed to have one.
What?! No thunder and lightening? No angel choirs descending from the heavens? That was downright boring after all the Sturm und Drang. I still have some lemonade laced with Diprovan left over from the 4th of July and I will raise a glass to Al and Frannie. Here’s to 60, even though this is America, so it will turn out to mean nothing.
JB: Do you take this oath without reservation, and do you promise not to fuck your page, your staffer’s wife, any Argentine person, nor yet hang out in public restrooms, toetap, or be diapered by whores?
AF: I do.
stanpan: Damn! I was wondering the same thing. Maybe Michael Caine is reprising his role from Miss Congeniality, acting as beauty consultant to Franken.
Finally, the farse created by the repug party that equates norm coleman to paul wellstone, in character, honesty and true understanding, is finally put to rest. never to be resorected again!
normy, lost his balls when he tried to coherce george galloway of great britain. galloway imasculated poor ol’ normy.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/avdb/news_web/video/9012da68000cfe0/nb/09012da68000d146_nb_16×9.asx
the world found out what an empty suit coleman really is. he lost his re-election bid that day!
Lazy Media: Just for the record, I’ve met her in person and while she is indeed quite the adorable little geek, she has literally no back teeth. But, if you don’t mind that…
Yes, apparently Coulter is being slowly resurrected by the right wing talkies that can’t live without her hawk like visage and scarecrow figure. I want a knock down anti Semite cage fight between her and Mel Gibson, pay per view only, that one wouldn’t be for the kiddies.
Back to Franken though, can’t wait until the first anti-drug bill comes up in Congress. Senator Franken? Franken? Please note absent. Last we saw him he was investigating the bong display from the DEA boys.
It’s time for us to bear Franken sense.
And mirth
Al Franken: Congratulations!
Ann Coulter: F–k You!
Rush Limbaugh: F–k You!!
Bill OReilly: F–k You!!
and Faux News: F__K YOU!!
God, that felt good!!!
CHARACTERS: The Atheist Nun + An Attractive, Shirtless Archbishop (Who Shall Remain Nameless)
TIME: November 4, 2008 : Night Of The Presidential Election
PLACE: Hospitium/TV Room At Saint Drogo’s Monastery Of The Bilocating Nuns Of The Nomen Nescio Congregation
SYNOPSIS: Atheist Nun + her shirtless companion are watching the election results come in, and are slamming back shots of tequila for every state that Obama wins. At the announcement of John McCain’s intention to deliver his concession speech, our protagonists start drinking directly from the bottle…
Atheist Nun: OK… OK… I can’t drink anymore… (Hysterical laughter) OK… Just one more when Franken wins! (Hysterical laughter)
Shirtless Archbishop: Fraaaaanken!!!!! (Hysterical laughter)
Atheist Nun: Fuckin’ Franken, man… Obama/Franken for the wiiiiin!! (Hysterical laughter)
Shirtless Archbishop: Fraaaaanken!!!!! (Hysterical laughter) If Franken wins, we’ll finish the fuckin’ bottle!
Atheist Nun: (hiccup)
CONCLUSION: I have been waiting eight fucking months to finish off that bottle of tequila, my friends.
Cheers, Al!
EVERYONE GO GAY-MOLEST A CHILD, NOW.
Hey! Just because a man with a big mouth was sworn into the Senate by a man with a loose tongue is no reason to go out and act like a Republican.
Mandatory Abortions and Atheism for All!!! WHEEEEEE!!!!!
proudgrampa: Such a pottymouth on this baby!
Jazzman: Excellent!
My problem with Al on SNL was that he, Al Franken, wasn’t funny. But now, he’s on the Big Stage, and the laughter hurdles on C-SPAN are very low for him, Al Franken.