Wonkette
Former Nazi Youth and rancid pontiff Joseph Ratzinger has an important message for the agitated teabaggers of America: An even newer New World Order is on the way, and this one is going to be run by the Vatican — along with, we suspect, a 13-seat Council of Elders including Goldman Sachs, Barack Obama, Israel, Red China, NAFTA, Michele Bachmann (oh hell yeah she’s working for the NWO!), the IRS, let’s see and probably the Sierra Club, KFC-Taco Bell, NASA and the Carlyle Group. Hope you like FEMA camps! [New York Times]
Wait for it… one, two, three…. POP!… there… Bill Donohue’s head just exploded.
OH LORD SAM BROWNBACK’S HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE NOW
ALSO ANTONIN SCALIA’S
THEIR BOYFRIEND’S A COMMUNIS
Well, c’mon Benny. Nazi pope or Commie pope.
You can’t have it both ways.
Heute der heilige Stuhl, morgen die Welt!
Given our last experience with Christian theocracy, otherwise known as the Dark Ages, I’d like to be the first to respectfully suggest that the Pope STFU.
At least with the Carlyle Group involved, we’ll be sure to have Dunkin’ Donuts in the FEMA camps.
Oh come on! Now I know that shit is not in the bible. He’s just making this crap up.
Our Most Holy Father went on to say, “Ve can shtaht by lootink der Fatican undt shpreadink sum uff diss booty arount.”
Will the new world currency be gold coins that bear the Pope’s picture, or merely an easy & convenient RFID implant in our right hands?
Will Ratzi have to give up his $500 Prada shoes in furtherance of this new world economic order?
FREEPERS HEADS WILL ‘SPLODE, WE TOLD YOU SO!!1111
Lascauxcaveman: What don’t you understand about National Socialism?
You forgot the Bildeberg Group, the Trilateral Commission and the Council on Foreign Relations.
I am selling seeds because the bankers are taking all of your food. noonan AT noonansseeds DOT justkidding DOT you ess.
As much as I agree that we do need to attack the growing divide between the global rich and poor, an ancient troglodyte who believes that it’s better to have the third-world poor die of AIDS (not to mention having more kids than they can care for) rather than use a condom is not the person to handle the problem. So kindly shut the fuck up, you withered head of the most corrupt, vile organization on the Earth.
Thinking outside the box from the people who brought you the rhythm method.
Sure, let’s put Nazi Sister Cleo in charge of the world’s economy. What could possibly go wrong?
Quick call Robert Langdon!
What business is it of the freaking pope to care about the world’s poor? And why does he hate our achievers for being richer than other people? America’s corporations were founded on biblical principles, Pope Ratzi, so you aren’t gonna teach us anything. Can’t wait to talk to my friends on Ron Paul Forums, right after I finish masturbating to anime.
freakishlystrong: It’s a slow build over in the Freeper-cage but expect a fully-freeptastic freep-out in 5…4…3..2..1…
Thanks for the heads up on what the LaRouchies will be handing out next. I’ll be sure to greet them with an “Ave Obama.”
Very clever marketing strategy by the Vatican:
1. Introduce New Pope® amid much and pomp and ballyhoo
2. Wait for New Pope® to (metaphorically) bomb with the faithful
3. Answer fans prayers with the boffo launch of Pope Classic®
Or, the Vatican can rebrand as Popesi® and target their campaign at the new generation.
Michele Bachmann gets to play Grand Inquisitor after all.
lizard scum: What, you stopped wanking to Cakefarts.com?
How could you leave off the most important group of all: ACORN!
They are the power behind the Pope! Wake up sheeples!
(OMG is Ken part of the ACORN?)
How did Alex Jones get left off the Council of Elders?
The pope wears a funny hat.
wait wait wait, since we all know Nobama is behind all of this, according to my calculations, this makes him controlled by: 1–Muslins, 2–Joos, and now 3–Catholics. Does this mean the KKK will now go back to hating Catholics too?
Bearbloke: AGGGGGHHHH! I clicked on the link! You got Freeper on my rationale!
Servo: Servo: Michele Bachmann already thought the pope was the Antichrist. What we she think of him now? http://wonkette.com/211432/well-of-course-hes-the-antichrist
This works best when you recall that Yum! Foods, which owns KFC and Taco Bell, used to be called, a few years ago, _Tricon Global_. THAT is a good new world order name.
riverside68: You beat me to it. Where, after all, would the Trilateral Commission be without ACORN?
the Vatican is going bust, he just lookin’ for a bailout, poor Ratzy.
JMP:
The pope is also the head of Halliburton? Who knew!
Herr Nazi Ratsi needs to focus on cleaning up his own house first, and by that I mean: stop poking around die kliene kinder! Until that schweinhundt takes real action on child molestation w/n the Catholic Church worldwide (and oh, why not, start treating nuns better, too), he can just Holz Mal!
I’m guessing he learned all this during his time as a member of the Hitler Youth.
This encyclical is strictly-from-hunger sophomoric blabla: “Furthermore, such an authority would need to be universally recognized and to be vested with the effective power to ensure security for all, regard for justice, and respect for rights.” Right, and if I had a billion dollars and were kind of the world…
“Criticizing a growing divide between rich and poor”
Funny how his bishops in Honduras all support a coup against a president who was doing that. Oh, and boy-diddling.
I’m not so worried about the “world political authority” as I am about whatever they think “the common good” is.
I’m guessing its just about the exact opposite of what I think is good.
The new YUM world order is nothing but Power, Corruption, and Lies. Bolts from above hurt the people down below.
Shit, the Nazi-pope is the Anti-Christ! WTF!!! Damned freepers been lying to us all along about Obama as the Anti-Christ! Knew I couldn’t trust those fuckers!
Tommmcatt: Nah; Haliburton’s pretty fucking bad, but they don’t rape kids and cover it up, or cause people to get AIDS. The Vatican’s still got them beat on the evil front.
“they don’t rape kids and cover it up”
Well, technically the contractors cover up the rape of adults.
Maybe the Pope should consult the scriptures, most notably passages from the Lightly-Attended Teabagger Sermon in the City Park Gazebo:
“Blessed are those that try to remove the gold admiralty fringe from courtroom flags, for theirs shall be the Republic of Texas. But no props, and indeed the gasface, shall be given those that talk of the public good, for yea verily they are pussies.”
That’s it. I’m gonna go Coptic Orthodox or some shit.
Tony D’Annunzio: [carrying Czervik's golf bag] What do you got in here, rocks?
Al Czervik: Are you kiddin’? When I was your age, I would get diddled by every monsignor in the Central Pennsylvanian Diocese!
Tony D’Annunzio: [puts down Czervik's bag, exasperated] So what?
Al Czervik: So what? [opens compartment in golf bag, revealing radio] So let’s dance!
ANY WAY YOU WANT IT THAT’S THE WAY YOU NEED IT
LEAD US INTO OUR NEW WORLD ORDER OF GLOBAL SOCIALISM, UNSERE VATER!!!
I vote we have Ratzinger duke it out with well-known Teabagger John Ratzenberger…winner gets 1 Million Ameros…or Liberty Dollars….
Well, at least someone within the Italian borders has some organizational acumen. Could Ratzi’s minions take on a litte G8 event planning?
Hey, if the Pope auctions off a couple of those DaVincis and Michaelangelos that he’s got gathering dust in some storeroom, couldn’t he feed and clothe all the poor?
I thought the role of the Roman Catholic Church was to defend the existing status quo, not fight it.
The pontiff’s “radical re-thinking of the global economy” was described as “tithing.”
mookworthjwilson: Can I hate-fuck ol’ Cliffy first? I promise to donkey-punch him, good and hard…
Well, I guess a plus side is that Jewish people will have company now that Roman Catholics are back on the secret New World Order hate list for the tin foil hat brigade.
Forget Pope Nazi, Alex Jones is going apeshit over MJ’s memorial on GCN radio (oh yes, i love listening to the sound of crazy!) . Somehow he’s connected it to the NWO.
Bearbloke: I didn’t know the pig from ToyStory was a sactard.
So, your Papaltude, how’s the Vatican bank doing?
NWO?
WTF?
SayItWithWookies: Things are more complicated things to define so there is no trust: Police, Army, Politicians, Bankers, Cultural and leaders (government, church..etc)all seems to have a one agenda to be in power. We pupil are like sheep(s)(what they think). So, Time has come all human kind to work in a structured way that is: dis-mentalling their powers by following points:
1. Having cash on hand and food enough - months
2. Not putting any money in Banks and withdraw money if you have in banks
3. Asking for questions like wars, UFOs, NWO, and so on (disturbing)to leaders
4. Helping each other and talking to people around often
5. Giving time by writing about new news (in blogs)and going out less e.g bars, clubs
6. If possible form a small group to let other know about the situation
7. Stay attach to Family members
8. Be open to see and hear because it looks like they want to reveal something
9. Let police, army, fire fighters know about the situation because they are like us and sometime they don’t what is going on.
10. Do not go to riots, if you want to go go for peace march
meroant: Dude, wait… What??
Republicans will celebrate the NWO from the Pope because Ratzi claims to hate the gays sufficiently!
Clearly the solution to the world’s problems is to institute a global theocracy. After all, it worked great throughout the Middle Ages.
Anita Cocktail: Never!
You know, we could save alot of money on clothes if everyone just wore brown shirts. [Joe might need to let his out a little.]
So the Pope wants the UN to run everything, assuring free reproductive health care to every person on Earth. And to revoke national constitutions that guarantee religious freedom. And revoke special privileges like freedom from taxation for churches. And prosecute anyone who harms children. And hold all of humanity’s art treasures in common. And Huh?
Tomorrow, betcha he wakes up cranky and says, “I got drunk and said WHAT?”