Ugh.Well, this is highly unsatisfying. We wanted to hear that Sarah Palin was one of the handful of lovelies with whom Mark Sanford “crossed the line” after a steamy meetup at the make-your-own-omelette buffet at some Republican Governors’ conference, but no. While we wait for shoes to drop and “real journalists” to do whatever they’re doing, up there in Juneau and Anchorage, the only reason anybody can come up with why Sarah Palin quit her job was that she was sick of all the ethics complaints being filed against her.

Ethics complaints take time to respond to, and time equals money, so:

The governor repeatedly returned to the subject of ethics complaints filed against her during her 10-minute interview with the Daily News, saying she spent “most of my day, and my staff, most of their day and the department of law, a lot of their day on the frivolity.”

There have been 18 known ethics complaints filed against her. The governor’s office said they’ve been dismissed so far with no finding of wrongdoing, although she did settle a complaint over state-paid travel for her children.

Of course, half the country would be without governors if they all started resigning because of ethics complaints. It would be like moving out of your house because of a roach problem.

Anyhow, here is the best part, about the “double standard” to which Palin is held:

She brought up the fact Murkowski left the Legislature when her father, then-governor Frank Murkowski, appointed her to the U.S. Senate seat he gave up to become governor.

“The double standard that’s applied here is a bit perplexing. … Didn’t Lisa Murkowski leave office to go take her dad’s seat? (Govs.) Huntsman left, Napolitano just left … ,” Palin said, referring to governors who took positions in President Obama’s administration.

Yes lady they are all “quitters” for leaving their jobs for OTHER JOBS. You, on the other hand, are a FIGHTER for QUITTING.

Palin says ethics inquiries were paralyzing [Anchorage Daily News]

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  1. As for double standards and the attendant perplexation, I get the feeling one of those children’s toys that moos when you turn it over is similarly vexatious.

  2. I am unclear here- who is expecting palin to make sense or understand the difference between leaving a job for another job vs just quitting? Surely not the Wonketteers. And trying to make it clear to her drooling groupies is like trying to teach physics to a goldfish(or me)

  3. I really enjoy her ramblings about the “department of law there in the White House” that would have protected her from ethics if John McCain hadn’t lost like the loser he is. Also.

  4. A narcissist always thinks that “work” is beneath them, that they are destined for greater things, and that failure is due to other people (i.e., lesser people) getting in the way of their inherent greatness. And they tend to be very impulsive because any idea they generate is self-evidently true and must be acted upon immediately. Sorry for the seriousness.

  5. Imagine unemployment if we all quit our jobs because boring paper work took too much time away from from the most important part of our jobs (happy hour).

  6. she was sick of all the ethics complaints being filed against her.

    Well, in all honesty, that would get on you nerves after a while.

  7. This woman absolutely, every day, without exception, totally completely has to be on television, every day, forever, from here on out.

  8. So, does this mean that all the brave men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan that she’s always bragging about (read: pandering to) can just quit and come home and still be fighters?

  9. I blame Newt Gingrich, who has clearly illustrated the best way for a Republican to have their views taken seriously by DC opinion-makers and rake in piles of cash is to be an unemployed hypocrite.

  10. I just remembered the perfectly appropriate Simpsons dialogue for this situation…

    Marge: [proceeding to yard] Kids, I made some lemonade for you.
    Bart: [from living room couch, off-screen] Sounds great.
    Lisa: Bring it in here.
    Marge: [realizes they’re inside] What the…? What are you doing in here?
    Bart: Work was hard, so we quit.
    Marge: What?!
    Lisa: Hard work made us quit.
    Marge: I see. Well, then, no chores, no allowance.
    Lisa: Okay. We get our room and board free anyways.
    Bart: And Santy Claus provides the rest.

    Just replace “room and board” with “business suits” and “Santy Claus” with “Roger Ailes.”

  11. [re=356468]finallyhappy[/re]: One can always dunk the goldfish in liquid nitrogen. Then drop it on the floor and watch it shatter like glass. I think the socialist legislation allowing similar experiments to be performed on Palin groupies is still hung up in committee.

  12. She’s resigning because she wants people to be able to publish photos of her holding fish anywhere anytime, so she’ll fight for live fish who don’t play politics as usual which is a bloodsport and joining Todd who is slaying fish as we speak, there, being a real Alaskan who knows what Alaska and the country needs. And if she dies, she dies.

  13. This is plainly her response to the ignoring of her desperate cry for help: Stop me before I unethic the state of Alaska again!! And, let me progress America without having to follow silly anti-grifting laws!!

  14. Sarah. Hey, boo. Just for the record, this makes one of two things readily apparent:

    1.) Alaskan politics is just so sexy that folks are just cold plantin’ frivilous ethics complaints against you, and your upstanding occasion hair, with no regard for how the state is governed. You have been right all along, you are an underdog, on the side of the mavericks, a wrongfully persecuted vagina-wearer, such as and along side.

    2.) You should have stayed with the cheer squad, not try to make your mark by complaining that a girl can’t be a quarterback. A girl can, she’s just got to have some skill.

    See what I did there? I made a sports analogy for ya.

  15. [re=356493]Scandalabra[/re]: No kidding. Is it really that hard to just stop collecting a per diem for working at home? And she could try the GWB approach of only firing SOME of the state officials she disagrees with and just ignoring the rest of them…that would free up like 6 hours a day to just fight with marginally-funny late night hosts and intrepid bloggers.

  16. Well gosh darn it, I’m just so darn miffed at all these silly ethics complaints! Why in the world would all these folks get so up in arms about a few hundred thousand misspent tax dollars or no-bid contracts on multimillion dollar infrastructure projects? Completely frivolous, doncha know.

  17. Will she qualify for the maximum Alaska Unemployment Insurance benefit which is $395 a week including the extra $25 kicked in by the socialists?

  18. So Sarah, what major cabinet position or ambassadorship did President NOT YOUR RUNNING MATE, make to you? Huntsman is ambassador to China, a most important post. Napolitano is head of Homeland Security.

    You could head the President’s Council on Physical Fitness. Not mental fitness of course!!

  19. I’m having difficulties trying to decide if FNM’s ‘Zombie Eaters’ would more approprately be dedicated from Trig to Piper or from Sarah to all of us…

  20. Mattel has announced a new Talking Caribou Barbie. Pull on it’s string and it’s speaks in Palinisms.

    Among the phrases it says are:
    “Will we ever have enough clothes?”
    “I love shopping!”
    “Which way to Neimans?”
    “You betchya”
    “The Children of US America need to learn positive examples of abstinence training like my daughter did.”
    “Why Levi, did you work out?”
    “I’m too pretty to suffer!”
    “Sambo beat the Bitch!”

    However, the Sarah Palin Camp was extremely unhappy with some of the sayings:
    “Paperwork is hard.”
    “I’m not a quitter cause I quit.”

  21. She quit so she will have more time to keep up with what all the bobbleheads and mean bloggers are saying about her. What she didn’t realize is that no one will say anything about her if she’s not doing anything. So now she’ll have to find something else to do so that everyone will keep saying things about her. But then, if she’s doing something, she won’t have time to keep up with what they’re saying about her!! Oh why must life be such a mean double-standard for her her her and only HER!!!

  22. Why stay in office for $125,000 a year when you can make that much each week giving two speeches that amount to nothing more than telling idiots what they want to hear?

  23. Well at least she didn’t give a blow job or fuck some little gaucho in Buenos Aires…well just sayin’…well maybe…well no one cares a rat’s pittoot unless someone fucked someone…or at least used cigars…just sayin’…

  24. [re=356528]Mr Blifil[/re]: The old strategy in mock trial was to keep asking the question until it’s answered. Or shout “OBJECTION NON-RESPONSIVE” in the middle of the interview.

  25. She’s a grifter. Two years from now the fickle hand of fate may have annointed someone else the ‘rising star’ of politics. Sarah wants money, honey. She’s griftin’ while the griftin’s good.

  26. I know a way for the Republicans to leverage her brilliant quittin’ scheme: replace Michael Steele as RNC chair with Our Sarah. PUMAs nailed down, 2012 election over, genius!

  27. Gov. Palin unethicked the lovely and delicious Shannyn Moore in the aftermath of wordsalading the resignation. This did not progress Alaska or US America. It merely showed that Palin is an opportunistic skank and Moore the real queen of Seward’s Folly.

  28. [re=356478]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: Never were truer words said!

    I had to wonder when I saw her on CNN this morning. There she is out by a beautiful shoreline in the sunshine, enjoying herself I guess. Why wasn’t she working as governor? Any boss I had would work me to the bone to the minute I left.

  29. “Congratulations, Sarah, for a courageous move! You accomplished a great deal for your State in 2 1/2 years. I commend your courage in making a difficult decision. You know the East and West Coast elites will criticize, but they will no matter what. God is bigger than the MSM,” Benway, of Whispering Pines, N.C., wrote on Palin’s page. “There are many of us out here in Real America who see what’s going on and are grateful you are speaking out. Now that you’re not the Governor, the ethics b.s. can stop. I am praying for you, dear Sarah, and totally support you in whatever the future holds!”

    I can’t take it – my elite, East Coast forehead is going to explode –

  30. FOIA Jesus haz a sad. Time to fire up the good ‘ol subpoena machine. And get a super special prosecutor warmed up in the bullpen.

  31. You mean she’s not quitting because of our attacks on her dysfunctional, retarded family? C’mon, people, got to pick up the pace here.

  32. [re=356539]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I agree. She makes less than me(well, without her dishonest perdiems and other kickbacks) and I don’t have 5 young(ish) kids and a grandkid to support. Big money is available for her to go on the road and talk to loser GOPers.

  33. Apparently that macho macho man posturing a few weeks back in cleaning up blogwhoring and rancid, expired catchphrases was just a bunch of posturing, as I had previously postured and/or postulated.

  34. But I thought she said that staying on the job would be the easy thing to do, just going with the flow and wasting money on junkets. Also.

  35. I particularly liked her explanation for her lack of an excuse to the words of wisdom on a refrigerator magnet (where I often go for inspiration): “Your friends don’t need it, and your enemies won’t believe it.” Uh, Sarah, what about your constituents? Don’t they deserve an explanation? Such a doofus!

  36. Over at TPM, from David Kurtz:
    Perhaps the best part of Palin’s announcement today:

    Life is too short to compromise time and resources… it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: “Sit down and shut up”, but that’s the worthless, easy path; that’s a quitter’s way out.

    Quitters stick to it. Winners quit.

  37. Yo, Palin! Many here in AZ bitched and moaned and cursed the day Janet became in charge of the pretty-color warning system. Why, because she left us with a governor that may be even dumber than YOUR sorry ass. (she never made it completely through high school, whereas you attended more colleges than I did college parties)

  38. The reason she’s quitting is because she violated ethics rules by using state funds for plastic surgery to remove Tourette syndrome features from her face.

  39. Now that you’re not the Governor, the ethics b.s. can stop.

    How true. Palin claiming to have ethics was a bunch of b.s. from the very beginning.

  40. Blame the media.
    Blame the trooper.
    Blame Levi.
    Blame McCain.
    Blame the bloggers.
    Blame Trig.
    Blame the paper work.
    I’m sure I’m missing something.

  41. Regarding how much time she took up in replying to those silly ethics charges, the NY Times looked at her public diary of activities and found she was doing almost nothing besides attending girl’s soccer matches and parades, and not even too many of those, since May.

  42. “Frivolity” is the word of the day. I want all you readers to use it in a sentence. Well at least TRY to use it in a sentence. I said this yesterday but I think it’s worth repeating: Palin speaking sounds like somebody reading Kerouac backwards.

  43. “Our destiny to be reached by responsibly developing our natural resources. This land, blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, AND oil and gas. It’s energy! God gave us energy.”

  44. Sarah was disappointed that the governorship turned out to be less like a reality show and more like, well, a job. As the Paris Hilton of the GOP, she didn’t see herself working, which is an activity for others.

  45. Let’s face it, Palin just decided that the State of Alaska was in better hands with a man in charge instead of a woman.

  46. As to whether Sarah Palin will be a Presidential candidate in 2012, the rumors I hear are that Rupert Murdock and Roger Ailes have been convinced by her talent for bumper-hitch-chrome-removal. Hey, it’s what got her into Alaskan politics to start with, . . . that and lobbying, lots of lobbying.

  47. I am trying desperately to find a bookie that will give me odds and the over under on whether her Fox News show starts within 90 days, or if it takes as long as year due to having to find a producer crazy or desperate enough to work with her.

  48. Let’s face it, Palin was actually invented by late-night comics. I mean, you can’t make this stuff up. Well, actually Maureen Dowd did, feigning a Palin diary entry in her latest column (hysterical).
    I see Palin’s wacky announcement on the governorship as “The ‘Thriller’ in Wasilla,” as she managed to knock Jacko off the front pages.

  49. Sarah Palin, our national case of herpes. Bursts forth when least expected. Red and blistery under stress. Itchy, but you can’t scratch it, careful! Causes depression, embarassment, self-loathing. Shame-inducing. And it will never, ever go away, for our entire lifetime! How exciting. So not only did that ass-clown John McCain fuck over his first wife after giving her whatever nasty he picked up in southeast Asia, he fucked us over, too! Thanks, senator!

  50. A question is making the rounds (so this qualifies as a rumor)–What are the statistical chances of an Alaska grizzly cub getting an extended case of mono?

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