One fellow on the Internet is very upset that greatest hero ever George W. Bush charged hundreds of dollars for tickets to his “rodeo speech” in some wingnut Oklahoma town on July 4, but whatever, money is cool. Your Wonkette, however, is very disappointed in Junior for something else, his biggest mistake since Iraq and Harriet Miers combined: he won’t stop telling this same exact joke about picking up Barney’s dog shit and how it is beneath him.
Maybe the joke was “fresh for Oklahoma,” which does not yet have the Internet, but this marks the fourth occurrence of this poop joke (that we know of). He also used it in Canada, China, and “New Mexico.”
Wait, when did he go to China?
Anyway.
Why did Bush charge for July 4 Woodward speech? [Dallas Morning News]
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Hobbits and poop, both universally funny.
I will watch the embedded video only if you promise it contains footage of the 43rd President being trampled on by several bulls followed by serving as a human urinal for a couple of inebriated rodeo clowns.
P.S. You’re thinking of China, Texas, 25 miles east of Beaumont along Highway 90.
And think about how embarrassed Barney is being walked (in public) by Dubya.
I’m sorry– can somebody tell me what the video is about? I started watching it and then when W appeared I got that familiar feeling of nauseau made up mainly of bile and I had to stop watching before I threw up. My doctor says it could be a few more years before I’ll stop having that automatic reaction to Shrub. If I’m lucky.
Even in Jerkwater, Oklahoma the reporters are Asian women?
W. always said he was looking forward to “refilling the ol’ coffers.” I say he refills it with Barney’s poop.
This sounds suspiciously like a metaphor. W is lamenting that now has clean-up his own shit rather than have Cheney, Condi or the other colored help at the Whitehouse do it for him.
He made the same goddamn stump speech for years after he was elected. And said the same goddamn stupid shit over and over again about 9/11, bringing terrorists to justice, Saddam Hussein acquiring nuclear weapons, WMDs, Social Security, torture, illegal surveillance of American citizens and Iraq being a model for the rest of the Middle East. Anyone who’s still surprised at Dubya’s ability to do the same thing when doing something else would make more sense hasn’t been paying atttention.
W charged Woodward for his speech for the same reason Woodward invited W to speak: Woodward is synomomous with rube, sucker and easy mark. If they’re dumb enough to invite him, they’re dumb enough to pay him.
If Sarah Palin had a dog, she’d probably sue George Bush for telling that joke.
He’s so bored I bet he’ll also pick up that which he’s been avoiding for 20 years: the bottle. This New England shit really kicked up his fake accent several notches for the Okies.
[re=355822]norbizness[/re]: It’s actually west of Beaumont. I have learned much in my many travels between Port Arthur, Houston, and the various shitholes in between (Liberty, Dayton, those other speed-traps).
[re=355838]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Are you saying that any town named after Bob Woodward is going to inherently fall for the grandiose BS of Republican politicians? A pity that their own secessionary currency is cowpies (dollars) and turnips (cents).
I couldn’t help but think that what Wonkette needs is for Sarah Palin to take back her resignation at an even bigger press conference, and then quit again in a few days. Ye olde Wonkette servers might crash, but there would be good traffic numbers had by all. You have to think that there are writers at all the serious news organizations, like The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report, and, uh, The Daily Show (did I already say that?) just dying to keep this alive. Their jobs have to be like no work at all right now.
Fuck Oklahoma.
It rained here in Oklahoma on the 4th of July, we had to delay our fireworks. Obviously God is angry at us real ‘Mericans for allowing a Muslim to run our country! I think Woodward was the only town in the whole state who didn’t have to delay their fireworks show, an obvious sign that the presence of such a great ex president was enough deter God’s wrath, if only for a moment.
I[re=355843]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Sorry, that was a brain-fart on my part, seeing as I also traveled through it (mainly when I-10 was under construction) many times to visit the grandparents in Beaumont and Piney Joe and the twins out in Woodville.
someone threw dog shit at him? i thought he was dodging shoes. should i feel guilty about feeling superior to an entire state filled with total dumbasses?
[re=355818]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:
You forgot flatulence. Flatulence is the Mother of All Funny.
All he needs to do is end the ‘joke’ with ‘wackity schmackity dooooooo’ for some added flair.
The real shame is, with Karl Rove, he has the best set up for any and every excrement joke ever.
[re=355840]germansteel[/re]: If Sarah Palin had a dog, she would quit again in solidarity with all dogs who have ever pooped.
I imagine half of the attendee’s had to cash in their food stamps for tickets to see their great big hero pontificate for 30 minutes about why he was such a good “decider”. Lock his stupid ass up already, and the rest of those asshats who helped him.
Disturbing clip on several levels. First that those poor dogs are still in his custody. Is he still dropping them on their heads? Second, that he is allowed to manage dog poop (presumably in public areas), which can be a biological hazard. And I don’t get the wingnut’s fuss about the charge for tickets -he was appearing at festival that had its own entrance fee, or am I missing something?
Is it me or is W getting stupider, I mean he’s getting lesser smart, awwww crap, nows I gots it.
Sure you’re laughing at how pathetic he is now, but who will be laughing when he gets that job opening for Yakov Smirnoff in Branson, Missouri? (Hint: in Russia, ex-president laughs at you.)
New poop joke: “And then Cheney came over and started ordering me about, and I said, ‘We’re equals now, things have changed. You’re not VP and you’re not my boss anymore. Someday I’ll have a chance to be in charge, just gotta prepare myself for opportunity when it comes.’ Then I pooped in his face.”
It would be worth $500 and an old pair of shoes for a good chance to clock GWB upside the head, but nothing is worth making a trip to Oklahoma.
There’s a new Mexico?
Why do we have to be so hung up on the fact that he thinks he’s better than dog shit? Just embrace the simple fact that he has to handle dog shit. Everyday.
Republicans. Go figure. A mess of people both dumb enough to vote for the likes of Babble Spice and Smirky Monkey, they’re dumb enough to pay money to hear them speak. What better example could they need for the failures of American public education?
Put that ruler down, teach! Don’t rap my knuckles, I’m not blaming you.
[re=355851]engulfedinflames[/re]: The shit was on the shoe. Had there also been a foot in the shoe, it would’ve been what’s known as a political shat-trick.
That there audience is just full of 66%ers who still worship at the altar of the Bush/Cheney cabal. Those are god-fearin’ good ol’ boys there, folk who average $20,000 a year, who know absolutely that gubmint is the problem, who know there’s a judgment day a comin’ and all y’all heathens and mockers are going to get struck down in your beds, where y’all probably fornicatin’ anyway, having some version of sweaty mansex or sumthin oughta be illegal.
Even with Dubya as a draw, the promoters had 3,500 unsold seats. I waiting for him to go all Norma Desmond and declare, “I’m still big! It’s the towns that got small.”
(1) how many times has Jacqueline Sit heard her name immediately followed by “on my face”? Over/under 175,000 times.
(2) if I had about 1500 XXXL t-shirts of the American flag I know where I would go.
I love at 5:32 when he jogs out to left field to clear brush.
[re=356007]pat robertsons personal trainer[/re]: A fellow Lords of Acid fan?
Proof he’s was a piece of shit Pretzeldent.
Clearly the international arrest warrant is not applicable in OK.
What a lovely photo of Senator Inhofe’s immediate family. I can tell from here that none of them is gay.
[re=355891]Come here a minute[/re]: That’s what Republicans call California.
Those spectators looked very happy that he was in Oklahoma for the Fourth. I think about 30 other states agree with that sentiment.
there are some mighty fine fancy clothes stores out there in OK. i especially like the anchor lady’s satiny white bandeau top and all FIFTY stars on our patriot at 2:20-ish.
Geez George, don’t you know nuthin’? You don’t walk the dog, you tie it to the top of the SUV and hit the highway- That way, the old woofer is either too scared to poop, or it blows off the roof and the poor sucker behind you has to clean it off their windshield. Just ask Mittens; he knows about these things.
What is it with Republicans, dogs and rubber gloves anyway?
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