Wonkette
Mike Huckabee has always seemed like a nice enough fellow, which is strange, because he also wants us all to shoot each other! Here he argues that if Iranian lady Neda had had a gun, she would’ve been able to shoot all of those mean people first, meaning… [some sort of segue, while laughing]… the American Constitution’s Bill of Rights is not what you think it is: “Some of us fail to understand that our 1st Amendment right to speak and assemble is meaningless without our 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.” Misread! [YouTube via Slog]
And the furries!
We need guns to fight off those fucking furries!
Don’t forget the furries!
Wait, huh? What does the National Eating Disorder Association have to do with guns? Is this about that Bo Obama binge eating thing again?
I first read that as “Because of Nerds”, which made me think Huckabee wants to shoot the furries from AC360, for freedom.
Is it just me or is he chunking up again? Maybe he’s back on the deep fried sqirrel.
Don’t forget the third Amendment neither, Mikey! T’ain’t seen no redcoats up in my outhouse! Now if’n you’ll excuse me, I’m a-gonna shoot off some anti-aircraft missiles at CIA spy drones what with the weather balloon disguise. It’s in the Constitution, or at least what people tell me is in it, seeing as readin’ is fer librul DemonKKKrats!
Seriously, is “Huckabee” the most hick last name EVER for a politician?
More guns is the answer to every Republican problem.
Chain Tattoo: It’s possible that only silver bullets work against weres. FYI.
Yeah, I’m thinking that Mikey is unaware that those armed dudes on motorcycles are closer to his vision of FREEDUM than Neda.
We’d all be whipping out our guns to see who’s is bigger. So pubescent.
…if violence isn’t solving your problem, then you just aren’t using enough of it…
Dave J.: “Hickabee”
He means we have the inalienable right to assemble guns. To shoot aliens, obvs.
Unfortunately Mr. Governor Man, the 2nd Amendment only applies to the federal government and not to the states (nor the people).
Tell that to Steve McNair, it’ll make him feel a lot better.
Also, can you think of another country where there has never been a fascist dictatorship but where not everyone owns a gun?
In his case, 1st and 2nd Amendment rights are, indeed, inextricably linked. More often than not, he exercises both simultaneously by opening his mouth and shooting himself in the foot.
nightshift: If Neda had weighed 250 lbs, she probably would have taken so long to get out of that car (had she even gone out that day, because of the fatness), she most likely would still be alive.
Huck obviously read the Bill of Rights this way:
1) We AmurriKKKans can say whatever and stand wherever the fuck we please; and
2) We will shoot the privates off of anyone who has a problem with #1.
Apparently that demon that possessed our little Sarah has found a new home.
Mike’s original postscript read “and fuck those guys from Concord for failing to insist on Jesus’ supremacy in the Constitution.” he also failed to mention those Concord dudes were operating without the assistance of the 2nd A (though he seems to imply that).
as for this lesson, expect many more. with Bible Spice & Sparky Sanford outta here, ol’ Mikey’s gonna get him some bookings.
as for taking constitutional interpretation from an Arkansas baptist preacher, no thanks. “some don’t seem to believe we have an individual right to bear arms…”
Count me among “some”
Compare 2nd A to 6th A for the difference between a collective (2nd) right and an individual (6th) right. I guess they don’t teach that @ Jerry Falwell’s Bible Law School or Mike’s alma mater, the W. Arkansas College of Bible Learnin’.
Too bad Sanford didn’t hear this before his presser on his return from Argentina. If he’d been packing, maybe he wouldn’t have been massacred in the court of public opinion like that.
If we follow his train of thought, then that would mean that if it weren’t for guns, we wouldn’t have the freedom to post comments on Wonkette lest that right be taken away be evil, commie, fascist, muslins so, yay guns! Lock & load, baby, lock & load.
@Hooray For Anything: I’ll keep that in mind if I get banned from here. Which seems likely after that other thread.
So wait, Neda got shot because she was throwing a snowball while protesting the 2nd Amendment? I’m so confused.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Or alternatly:
We hang our balls
on outhouse walls
and shoot at them with rifles
Battles. Massacres. Are we talking about the streets of Los Angeles or some sort of invasion. I am so befuddled by Mr. Huckabee.
Soooooo…Huck is saying that we need to arm the Iranians. For freedom.
Hate to bust Mikey Mikes history lesson but the Minutemen at Lexington were smoked, they didn’t even get a volley off before the Tommies “Cleared the Kings Green.” with bayonet and grapeshot. The 2nd amendment enthusiasts in Concord heard about the fresh graves they were digging over Lexington way and decided to surrender the town rather than contest the British line.
Yokels with rifles aren’t an existential threat to military groups and considering most of todays “Minutemen” need access to a McDonalds, cable TV and a fully charged rascal in order to effectively resist tyranny, I’d say we’re doomed and might as well welcome our new Nigerian Overlords.
I think he’s onto something. I mean, I never post a comment onto Wonkette unless I’m fully locked and loaded.
*hic*
Naked Bunny with a Whip: What better way to keep trolls from posting than a few semi-automatic weapons?
The Huckster wants us to use “bullet points” when we speak.
Something like this
.”FREEDUMB!!!!!” (then fire weapon)
.”TRUCKNUTZ!!!!” (fire weapon again)
.”NOBAMA!!!!” (shouted while firing weapon)
“The revolters are profound to make slaughter, though I have been a rebuker of them all.” — Hosea 5:2
no, i don’t… i guess i don’t really know what that means… just came across it and it looked like it might fit… maybe shimmied in sideways…
Palin/Rubio 2012….wait…..2028.
Wait. Neda should have traded in her snowballs for bullets? What is this goober jabbering about?
I would trust the NRA and its ilk slightly more than I do if they didn’t have the sincere belief that the second amendment begins with an ellipsis. As in “…the right to bear arms shall not be infringed.”
ain’t that the real beauty of the bible? infallible wisdom from the one true god that the fallible can use to mean whatever, whenever.
For some reason ever time I see Huckabee I hear, in my inner ear, the sound my old cat, Walter, would make when he was backing up to launch a fur ball.
Yeah, like if Lincoln had been packing in the Ford’s Theatre, it could have been a battle instead of an assassination! Cool! Blam! Blam! Blam! Ghandi too.
Funny story: Elvis Presley became convinced he was to be the target of an assassination attempt during one of his Vegas shows. One of his entourage said maybe he shouldn’t go out and perform in that case. But he said, no, it’ll be all right and with a wink and a smile, demonstrated the handgun tucked into his belt. Yes, he was prepared to shoot into a dark auditorium to protect his first amendment rights by using his second amendment rights. A true American hero.
We Neda more guns to beat back the British!
lets put a sniper on a roof and have Huckleberry out on the street for a shoot out, ‘mk?
Lets have this showdown in Tombstone Arizona, neutral territory.
His sign-off? “I’m Mike Huckabee, and I don’t know shit.”
Mike describing the Boston Massacre:
“When Americans had thrown snowballs against the British, and five Americans ended up dead.”
And then Mike wanting more guns:
“And the founding fathers wanted to make certain that, whatever happened in this country, we would be prepared to protect our freedom like the Minutemen, and not be reduced to _pathetic_ victims throwing snowballs or chunks of cement like the poor souls in Iran.”
You hear that, revolutionaries and Iranian protesters? You’re “pathetic.”
It’s cool though: Huckabee’s one dumb motherfucker.
Yoo hoo, Mikey! Best-armed nation in the world: Iraq! Everyone had their own AK-47 under Sadaam, which was very effective at toppling his tyrannical regime after 25 years and a few dozen brigades of US Marines had passed, and it was also extremely effective at protecting individual Iraqis after Sadaam was gone, with a mere 100,000-500,000 dead depending on which pessimist you choose to believe. OF COURSE IT WOULD WORK IN IRAN!
Yes but I wonder how he’d feel about these guys http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-gay-bar-raid6-2009jul06,0,869366.story?track=rss fight back against oppression with guns?
No no no, you’ve got it all wrong! Who shot Neda? Iranian law enforcement shot Neda! Huckabee isn’t trying to get us to shoot each other, but to pull a 187 on a motherfuckin’ cop! All part of the GOP’s transition to hip-hop under Steele’s wise tutelage, I’m sure.
Thanks, Huck. I’m fondling my 9 mm. while exercising my right to call you a gibberish-spouting asshat.
SayItWithWookies: It’s actually worse when the correct text is used with the ellipsis:
“… the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”
forgetting that whole, “well regulated militia,” thingy.
norbizness: Heh, I was about to write that some of us fail to understand that our Second Amendment right to bear arms is meaningless without our Third Amendment right to not be forced to house Redcoats and their lice-ridden powdered wigs.
Come on, if you had a family like Huckabee, wouldn’t you hope for a a few more random shootings?
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Harpoonings, maybe. Shooting them would just make them mad.
John Lennon would have found this thread hard to “Imagine.”
If he was still alive, that is.
Poor Mark Chapman: Framed for the killing that Yoko committed.
Crankenstank: One hesitates to point out that, in the opinion of most, the Iraqis are doing quite well using their small arms to resist “The Invader.”
The same is true of Afghanistan, too, come to think of it. “The Invader” is getting its collective ass kicked.
The problem, of course, is that we’re “The Invader” in both scenarios.
But don’t let any facts get in the way of your argument, “Crank.” Your liberal credentials will be revoked if you do.
(Take heart, however: We’ll continue to use drones and air support to slaughter “civilians” in both theaters. In other words, we’ll use the same stand-off strategy that worked so well for Bob McNamara in Southeast Asia.)
Whoops, got to go: Here comes Yoko with a Warm Gun . . . .
huckabee is so dumb he thinks that most of the Founding Fathers were preachermen just like himself. hey huckleberry hick, less than one-third were clergymen. check your history books and
then go back to Arkansas.
Mike, duels are out of style. If someone wants to take a shot at you, by the time your wife digs the Glock out of her purse and hands it to you, you’re a goner.
The police, secret police, armed jihadis, and moral militias will never shoot first if they see a woman with a gun.
Huckleberry has been a jerk for a long time. Nevertheless, the 2nd amendment says what it says.
It’s a little unsettling that he has so much pathos for the Colonists throwing snowballs at the redcoats and none for the Palestinians throwing rocks at Israeli tanks, that we bought for them. Should the Palestinians have guns? Should we provide them? Or just leave it up to Hamas?
Gosh, life is complicated when you’re former governor of a former state, and then the state rejoins the country, but you still….