THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST  10:03 am July 6, 2009

by Sara K. Smith

  • ROBERT McNAMARA IS DEAD: Jesus, anybody else feel like dying in the next week or two? Because now is clearly the time to do it! Robert McNamara prosecuted America’s hopeless adventure in Vietnam on behalf of Presidents Kennedy and Johnson; he also did many other things, which nobody remembers on account of the war. [Washington Post]
 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 68 comments }

Lazy Media July 6, 2009 at 10:10 am

Yet more proof that the so-called “mainstream media” are on their way out. Twitter had this first, along with the first news of the deaths of Rick Astley, George Clooney, Natalie Portman and Jeff Goldblum. Suck it, CNN.

Norbert July 6, 2009 at 10:10 am

on our fridge, we have started a pool about what famous person is next. the winner gets to feed on the carcass.

re: McNamara, couldn’t happen to a nicer guy

FMA July 6, 2009 at 10:11 am

I guess he finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

Joehoya July 6, 2009 at 10:12 am

McNair, McNamara … are no McN’s safe?

Sussemilch July 6, 2009 at 10:12 am

Thanks to population growth and cable television we have now reached “peak fame”; there are more people becoming famous than are dying famous every day. Unless we change our evil ways, by the time Florida drowns from global warming we will have more dead famous people every day than we can nationally mourn. It’s a crisis, people!

Don Juanquete July 6, 2009 at 10:14 am

Whereas Rumsfeld will never discuss the fog of his war.

Servo July 6, 2009 at 10:15 am

I usually associate the word architect with one that creates, not destroys.

Gallowglass July 6, 2009 at 10:16 am

Jesus, I didn’t even know he was still around. It’s like finding out Eisenhower or J. Edgar Hoover just died.

Gallowglass July 6, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=355428]Servo[/re]: I don’t know, he created quite a clusterfuck.

ShamWow July 6, 2009 at 10:18 am

Tis a shame that all this death and resignation has diminished esteemed Councilman Marion Barry’s latest arrest to nothingness on Wonkette. Sad day indeed.

Joehoya July 6, 2009 at 10:18 am

And, yea, though the Hindus speak of karma, I implore you … give the guy a break.

germansteel July 6, 2009 at 10:23 am

There’s a younger ex-Defense Secretary whose name I’d rather see in the obits.

Leopolt July 6, 2009 at 10:23 am

There’s 58,000 souls who just said, “Come over here, asshole, I wanna tell ya somethin’”

azw88 July 6, 2009 at 10:24 am

[re=355431]ShamWow[/re]: Marion Barry fucking up would normally be considered hanging fruit, far too easy pickings for such a high-class site as the Wonkette, but a celeb doing the stalking for a change is the kind of twist that we need to cheer us up, what with the celeb death-a-thon we seem to be in the middle of.

Don Juanquete July 6, 2009 at 10:25 am

[re=355422]Norbert[/re]: Nancy Reagan is already dead, but the GOP is waiting for the most opportune time to announce it.

Paul Tardy July 6, 2009 at 10:25 am

Rather than think of McNamara as they architect of US involvment in Vietnam, I like to think of him as a family man who did his part to destroy the US auto industry, or at least got the ball rolling. R.I.P. Robert McNamara. Swing low sweet chari-ahhhh-t ….

bullship July 6, 2009 at 10:26 am

The subway train pulled into Hell early this morning. It’s lone passenger: Robert McNamara.

Before the train had left Hell’s platform, 58,000 souls from the Viet Nam war tore at the essence of his being. McNamara shrieks in terror as yet a uncountable mass of wounded and disabled dead vets arrived from places unknown. Satan him self appears to Robert McNamara and welcomes him for all of eternity. As the sea of souls returned to tear away at was left of his essence, McNamara cries out, “Satan, I beg of you. Please hear me out.” As Satan hoovered in midair, McNamara spoke out with a pride and arrogance that had preceded him in death.

“Uh, while I’m hear, I would like to make some reservations for The Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and some other friends of mine.”

McNamara noticed that there was a press secretary there as well and as Satan dragged Robert McNamara off screaming in terror, McNamara was kind enough to say, “Oh hi Tony.”

Autochthon July 6, 2009 at 10:27 am

[re=355435]Leopolt[/re]: Well said!

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 6, 2009 at 10:28 am

So sad. I will miss his comic strip.

Dustin de Wynde July 6, 2009 at 10:30 am

On behalf of the 60,000 dead, (and the 250,000 troops who you left maimed and crippled, for life, asshole), Brightest and Best Americans, who were Lost in the Fog of your Vietnam War, who preceded you to the grave at an early age when your Mistakes Were Made, I say Rest In Fucking Peace, Mister Former Defense Secretary Robert S. McNamara.

I hope that when I am 90 years old, or older, I too, like you and Pol Pot, will pass peacefully asleep at home, in my own bed, surrounded by my loved ones.

If you get a full Military Burial at Arlington, that would not only be wrong, but very, very wrong.

God have Mercy on your Soul.

Kingbee July 6, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=355440]bullship[/re]: Satan has to burn McNamara to save McNamara.

riverside68 July 6, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=355435]Leopolt[/re]: And the 60,000+ Vets who killed themselves after coming home, And then the ‘liberated’ southeast asians.

He got some ‘splainin’ to do . . .

m_supercomputer July 6, 2009 at 10:33 am

Wow, it’s like the anti-Rapture – instead of the theoretically virtuous, a heap of sad, suffering people who inflicted that suffering on others are biting it. Weird.

WadISay July 6, 2009 at 10:36 am

McNamara will spend eternity watching The Fog of War. On showing 12,348,259, he will smack his forehead and exclaim, y’know, I really was a pompous ass who totally missed the forest for the trees.

gurukalehuru July 6, 2009 at 10:41 am

[re=355445]Dustin de Wynde[/re]: I hereby declare that wherever McNamara is buried be henceforth known as The Viet Nam War Memorial Outdoor Urinal. Stand in line, please.

uptop July 6, 2009 at 10:44 am

You may remember McNamara as the man who helped screw up Vietnam (among other things), but I’ll always remember him as the guy who used to get into profanity-heavy shouting matches with my dad over home improvements.

Cicada July 6, 2009 at 10:45 am

[re=355449]m_supercomputer[/re]: Yeah, Karl Malden was such a prick. Somewhere in hell, a demon is shoving those American Express traveler’s checks right up his ass. Don’t even get me started on Billy Mays…

oldguy July 6, 2009 at 10:53 am

But my gosh, could he DANCE.

Barrett808 July 6, 2009 at 10:53 am

How I Was Robert McNamara’d into Submission:

I been Norman Mailered, Maxwell Taylored.
I been John O’Hara’d, McNamara’d.
I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I’m blind.
I been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
A Communist, ’cause I’m left-handed.
That’s the hand I use…well, never mind.

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/simon_and_garfunkel/a_simple_desultory_philippic.html

Yes, I’m that old.

SayItWithWookies July 6, 2009 at 10:57 am

He wasn’t the first defense secretary to completely misunderstand the nature of the war he was involved in. Unfortunately he wasn’t the last, either. And he didn’t speak out about Iraq until well after it was widely recognized as a fiasco. So — too eagerly a blind technocrat inflicting death from the skies for no purpose, and too late a warning to the next one. If only he had been playing with Risk pieces instead of actual human lives, he would’ve been just an ordinary failure. As it was, he was a monster.

There was a scene in The Fog of War where he and Gen. Curtis LeMay are talking about their plans for firebombing Tokyo, and LeMay says, “If we lose this war, we’re both going to be hanged as war criminals.” In reference to Vietnam, McNamara got lucky.

Mr Blifil July 6, 2009 at 11:00 am

Gee that’s too bad. I suppose it’s too late to arrange to see McNamara’s corpse fucked with a spoon.

nappyduggs July 6, 2009 at 11:02 am

[re=355424]Joehoya[/re]: McNope.

Terry July 6, 2009 at 11:05 am

[re=355435]Leopolt[/re]:

Not to mention a bunch of civilians, too.

Woodwards Friend July 6, 2009 at 11:05 am

This death cycle feels like one of those forest fires that clears out all the old, dead brush.

Lazy Media July 6, 2009 at 11:10 am

Actually, Westmoreland and the rest of the U.S. Army deserve WAY more blame than McNamara for screwing up Vietnam. You know all that counter-insurgency jazz that has helped somewhat in Iraq? There were people trying to do that in Vietnam, but the uniformed Army brass did not care for it. They wanted an all-out conventional war, and they eventually got it after they half-assed counter-insurgency long enough.

CthuNHu July 6, 2009 at 11:10 am

He was the Sarah Palin of defense secretaries: all shiny and pert and clever and pretty and promising and a total massive constant rolling fuckup of certainty and firmness and blindness and denial and fuckup after fuckup after fuckup.

And Rumsfeld was his identical twin. May they soon be reunited.

ManchuCandidate July 6, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=355483]Lazy Media[/re]:
Westie and his stupid firebase plans. BTW, anyone explain how a cannonknocker (artillery) like Westie got to run an COIN war?

Carrie_Okie July 6, 2009 at 11:13 am

And 1.1 million NVA…and 184,000 ARVN….and 2-500,000 South Vietnamese civilians…and 2 million North Vietnamese civilians… etc…Kampuchea, Laos, Thailand…etc…

bitchincamaro July 6, 2009 at 11:22 am

[re=355450]WadISay[/re]: Or running FoMoCo. Now, that would be punishment.

Lascauxcaveman July 6, 2009 at 11:23 am

Good riddance, crybaby.

dr.giraud July 6, 2009 at 11:24 am

And Henry Kissenger pulls the covers over his head, vainly trying to hide from the reaper.

Servo July 6, 2009 at 11:25 am

[re=355483]Lazy Media[/re]:
Such stupidity is still at work at the Pentagon. That was evident in the statement “The surge is working.” The reality was “We’ve changed our tactics.”
Oh, and you can’t convince them otherwise. They are infallible.

Bowdoin July 6, 2009 at 11:27 am

The LBJ White Hearse is a study in 1984. The Truth was his own take on the war, which was, you face down them little brown guys just like they wuz Messcans, and you win. A long career in Congress based on just that methodology. So those Ivy Leaguers who sang the tune got to stay at the dance, even though everybody knew they were calling a funeral progression the Easter Parade. Halberstam reported they would marvel after meetings at Mack’s command of figures, until they figured out it wasn’t that hard ’cause he made ‘em all up.

Career advancement versus a million of theirs and sixty thousand of ours dead. No contest.

Rust in Pus.

Lazy Media July 6, 2009 at 11:28 am

[re=355504]Servo[/re]: You made him stupid. We’ll make him Army stupid.

19kevin8 July 6, 2009 at 11:29 am

Please some make a dead celebrity reality show, please some make a dead celebrity reality show, please some make a dead celebrity reality show…

zenferret July 6, 2009 at 11:30 am

[re=355424]Joehoya[/re]: McNuggets…

S.Luggo July 6, 2009 at 11:32 am

[re=355427]Don Juanquete[/re]: Don Rumsfeld, the Edith Piaf of the Iraquistani War.

SayItWithWookies July 6, 2009 at 11:35 am

[re=355497]bitchincamaro[/re]: Not that there’s an aftelife, but it would be fun to imagine McNamara spending his in a Groundhog Day scenario, driving around 1975 Saigon in an Edsel.

4tehlulz July 6, 2009 at 11:39 am

Somewhere in hell, a naked Robert MacNamara is running down the road, horribly burned from a napalm strike, forever.

His only comfort being that he knows what Donald Rumsfeld is in for, and is lucky to not be him.

4tehlulz July 6, 2009 at 11:41 am

[re=355517]SayItWithWookies[/re]: For the sake of historical accuracy, it should be noted that it was McNamara that convinced Ford to abandon the Edsel.

WadISay July 6, 2009 at 11:42 am

[re=355517]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I picture him in a Pinto (fn 1), stopped for a light, with a 1983 Audi 5000 (fn 2) rapidly approaching in the rearview mirror.

1. With the exploding gastank.
2. With the “unintended acceleration” issues.

Servo July 6, 2009 at 11:43 am

[re=355509]Lazy Media[/re]:
Army-speak for “Thanks for the ‘bot. We’ll happily pay for any damages with our generous SGLI.”

Servo July 6, 2009 at 11:45 am

[re=355522]4tehlulz[/re]:
Probably because it reminded him of himself.

bitchincamaro July 6, 2009 at 11:45 am

[re=355522]4tehlulz[/re]: When he joined JFK’s WH, he claimed he couldn’t tell a nuclear warhead from a station wagon. Why didn’t the prez take the hint?

mamandesfilles July 6, 2009 at 11:59 am

No kidding on the, “anybody else feel like dying in the next week or two?” comment… My twelve year old is serving at THREE funerals this week.

WhatTheHeck July 6, 2009 at 12:02 pm

McNamara had lots of help in prosecuting a land war in Asia.
The many brains of U.S. Intelligence firmly believed getting involved in a foreign civil war was good for freedom and security back in the U.S.

All those wasted lives.

nestor July 6, 2009 at 12:02 pm

good

plowman July 6, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Why all the venom for Rumsfeld? Mac has Rummie’s body count beat by, what, a factor of at least 100 to 1….

d4g33z July 6, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Thank god! McNamara’s death will take the spotlight off MJ, once and for all.

RATIONALITY WILL NOT SAVE US!

d4g33z July 6, 2009 at 12:28 pm

[re=355520]4tehlulz[/re]: Well, that photo was taken in 1972, and Mac was gone by 1968. But the guilt lives on, of course!

trickyrick July 6, 2009 at 12:49 pm

at least he confessed to his crimes before he kicked the bucket.?

nope, it does not help.

Spiderfrommars July 6, 2009 at 12:54 pm

[re=355548]plowman[/re]: Speaking as one who hated McNamara with a passion only available to the young, Rummy’s earned the venom. To those of us who hadn’t experienced the revelation that moving more quickly against Hitler would have saved millions and millions and millions, Vietnam was clearly a mistake. History proved us right.

Rumsfield, however, prosecuted a war with no possible motivation but greed and political expedience.

Spiderfrommars July 6, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=355581]Spiderfrommars[/re]: And fucked it up.

WickedWitch July 6, 2009 at 12:59 pm

If we’re starting a death pool — here are my choices: Patrick Swayze, Walter Cronkite, and Babs Bush. They’re all Houstonians, and they’re all in a bad way.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 6, 2009 at 1:13 pm

DICK CHENEY IS DEAD: Jesus, anybody else feel like dying in the next week or two? Because now is clearly the time to do it! Dick Cheney prosecuted America’s hopeless adventure in Iraq on behalf of Halaburton and BlackWater; he also did many other things, which nobody remembers on account of him being evil.

There, you are set for the next warmonger’s death.

[re=355463]Barrett808[/re]: First thing that went through my mind this morning too. “When you talk about Dylan then think you mean Dylan Thomas, whoever he is. The world has got no culture.”

Holding Out for a Hero July 6, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Now I don’t normally cotton to speaking ill of the dead, but in Bobby’s case I’ll make an exception.

I hope somebody shoves bamboo sticks under his fingernails. I hope somebody breaks his arms and then doesn’t set them. I hope somebody sticks a napalm bomb so far up his ass, that he sneezes flame.

You get the point.

JooJoo Bee July 6, 2009 at 3:32 pm

I’d like to say “rest in peace,” but you know what? I just can’t.

Bruno July 6, 2009 at 11:01 pm

Robert McNamara was too weak as a defense secretary because he never had the guts to use the nuclear option. That’s much more effective than napalm at killin’ stuff

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: