'Now when all the clowns that you have commissioned, Have died in battle or in vain, And you're sick of all this repetition, Won't you come see me, Queen Jane?'
How did you spend the Fourth of July? Maybe having a BBQ with friends and family, watching a fireworks show, and generally enjoying a happy patriotic holiday? Batshit-insane American Quitter Sarah Palin ended her own special “Independence Day” by posting a series of desperate grammar-challenged nonsense and vicious threats on her Facebook and Twitter pages. Really.

(Also: Sarah, you idiot, when do you plan to give up your Twitter name AKGovSarahPalin? Because, you know, you just quit being governor ….)

It is unwise to dwell on the past or be obsessed with an unknown future, but we should all appreciate the wonderful present — a present in which Sarah Palin is nothing more than a punchline. Because, had things gone very differently in November, this dangerous delusional numbskull would’ve been just an Ambien overdose away from the presidency.

Thank you, America, for steering clear of the Sarah Palin disaster.

So, after crazily quitting her elected position as governor of Alaska, via an alarming backyard last-minute press conference void of any explanation , at the classic 4 p.m. hour of the Friday-Holiday news dump, Sarah Palin is now twatting on the twitter about how her Anchorage attorneys are going to SUE THE AMERICAN MEDIA, for saying “WTF?”

Honestly, this is what Sarah Palin twatted on Saturday Night, July 4th, Independence Day, in America.

Her link goes to (of course) Scientologist nut and sub-literate weirdo Greta Van Susteren’s blog on, where Greta has helpfully (?) posted seven pages of legal threats from Palin’s lawyers, although you can’t actually read beyond the first vague page of whining bullshit, because Greta/Fox can’t figure out how to operate the Internet.

But, from other websites, we gather Palin’s lawyers plan lawsuits against MSNBC, the New York Times, the Huffington Post, the Washington Post, individual bloggers in Alaska, and other such anti-Palin forces such as “rain on your wedding day” and static cling.

Just go read this entire Anchorage Daily News article, which is hilarious.

Sarah Palin, a snowbilly grifter who spent her entire adult life desperately trying to become a Public Figure, apparently wants her attorneys to stupidly and pointlessly threaten American practitioners of free speech regarding our public figures and elected officials.

Happy fourth of July, you daft racist moron!

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  1. Oh! First-?! It’s been very fun to check out for a live streaming comment fest on last night’s (Saturday’s) local Alaskan radio show with Shannyn Moore as host. Evidently she is prominently mentioned/threatened by Palin’s lawyer. Also, too, if you accidentally go to, you get some kind of weird cajun crawdaddy bar, but in Ohio.

  2. “other such anti-Palin forces such as “rain on your wedding day” and static cling”.

    Hey, that would be Alanis Morrissette. Morrissette vs. Palin seems like a fair fight to me. Twinkie Grudge Match. Pay-per-view will carry it for $24.99.

    (Not so Palin vs. Static Cling. The Clingons are a powerful and ubiquitous empire.)

  3. “The response in the main stream media,” she says, has been both “predictable” and “ironic.”
    I for one am shocked that AkGov Palin doesn’t understand what irony means.
    Maybe she was referring to dramatic irony.

  4. [re=354863]facehead[/re]: FUCK YEAH! YOU-ESS-AY! YOU-ESS-AY! YOU-ESS-AY!

    Goddamit, it’s GREAT to be an American! I don’t know who makes me prouder tonight, Joey Chestnut, Quittin’ Palin, or Wonkette.

    Or maybe really good Red Wine. From Australia, of all places. Yes, you can get really good red wine from Australia. In the good ol’ USA, you can.

    [re=354867]villageatrois[/re]: Ooh ooh, I think she should also sue that ‘vague feeling of unease when someone greets you by name and you recognize their face, but can’t remember their name.’ That one’s a real bastard, it is.

  5. The “picture of the letter head of the law firm” is the best part of Greta’s post.

    Floating canards, “power abhors a vacuum”? They have our number…by this time next week Sarah Palin will OWN THE MEDIA! Modern journalism, what hast thou wrought?

  6. My favorite comment over there at Susterenia was “Hell have no furry like a womens scorn.” That was one of you guys, right?

  7. As per her lawyers letter, the Wasilla Sports Complex rumors were started by “Democratic operatives” in Sept. 2008. These operatives include one person – Wayne Barett of The Village Voice.

  8. [re=354871]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I can agree that she should do a hate-fuck with herself.

    Toad, the Palinator, came back early from the brief Alaskan fishing season, giving up trolling for landless polar bears in order to be on the video of his wife’s perp-walk. Next will be her tearful announcement that she wasn’t really campaigning for vice president all the time she was gone last Fall. Nor was she hiking the Appalachian Trail. She was, uhhh…. somewhere else.

  9. The comments on the Susteren post are hilarious. Half of the people can’t even spell their own psychotic bitch queen’s name right, and the other half are too busy crying and having orgasms over their love for their country and God and Jesus to care.

  10. “(Also: Sarah, you idiot, when do you plan to give up your Twitter name AKGovSarahPalin? Because, you know, you just quit being governor ….)”

    ‘Ak!’ is what people will say when they think of her, in the future.

    Zhu Bajie

  11. Ken, thanks for spending the 4th with us. I raise my Diprivan-laced lemonade to you, and hope Wonkette sprung for your 68 hot dogs. Cheers!

  12. Wow. If she ever gets a day in court on this it’ll be the day she gets laughed out of court. Pull a stunt like her press conference and resignation and right, no one is going to speculate that there might actually be a reason for it.
    Curious parallel universe Parah Salin lives in.
    It would make an interesting legal case to be sued for libel or slander for calling someone “an asshole”. The defense attorney could call a long list of witnesses, people who had worked with or dealt with the offended in some capacity prior to your calling them an “asshole”
    “Do you consider so-and-so to be an asshole?” “Why, now that you mention it..” No further questions, your Honor.” “Next witness…” Make them sit through a day of that.
    Not to mention the First Amendment and all that quaint blah blah blah.

  13. How tone-deaf can she get. She’s so tone-deaf she’s hearing colors and seeing sound. Let’s be clear, she is literally crazy enough to not be joking, at all. Mark my words, she’s serious as sin about running for president and thinks that these continued erratic behaviors help her. And, if she’s not running for president, I’ll bet anyone she’s going to create a third party, I shit you not.

  14. [re=354863]facehead[/re]: Werd is born. Fuck Kobayashi. Palin sucks ass for her overuse of basketball analogies instead of hot-dog eating contests.

  15. BTW, just logged back in after two days and sweet satan in hell, Wonkette; I luvs ya’ but damn-near the entire front page is Palin redux after Palin redux. She’s good catnip/crack, but she’s not that good.

    No mas Palin, por favor. Tambien.

  16. Oh, and this is the third consecutive year that Joey has beat Kobayashi in the annual 4th of July hot dog eating contest. There is no bringing back the mustard belt, son; it’s long since been broughten.

  17. I hope the sudden surprise departure was over threats of a relatively minor crime, like having a stranglehold over meth distribution in Wasilla.

  18. Incidentally, I’ve finally figured out who Bible Spice reminds me of. J. Pierpont Finch. She’s showing us How to Succeed in Politics Without Really Trying.

    Todd: “I don’t care if you’re President of the United States…I love you!”
    Sarah: “Say that again.”
    Todd: “I love you!”
    Sarah: “No. Before that.”

  19. If she goes through with this, it’ll be a windfall for the media’s lawyers…a lot of states have SLAPP legislation, which means if a court finds you’ve filed a nonmeritorious lawsuit designed to chill free speech, you have to pay the other party’s attorney’s fees. And given that Sarah Palin’s a public figure, she has to meet an especially high standard for defamation–one that speculation (i.e., “WTF?”) is not going to meet.

  20. We’ll soon attach info on decision to not seek re-election… this is in Alaska’s best interest, my family’s happy… it is good, stay tuned4:15 PM Jul 3rd from TwitterBerry

    So she thinks resigning is just a “decision to not seek re-election” ? I suppose it is that, but it is kind of the extreme form. Will Sanford start referring to his affair as his ‘decision to no longer remain faithful to his wife” ?

  21. Ken,

    Thank you, sincerely, for seeing bar time as an opportunity rather than an obstacle to post this posty-post. I was on my way to gutter—after pulling the last shart-soaked bottle rocket misfire from my patriotic U.S. American ass—when I saw it, and thought that your earnest and entertaining early morning efforts deserved something in kind.

    Inspired by my favorite zen koan from Tha Quittah from Wasilla’s July 3rd duck-fuck of a tossed word salad, I drunkenly doctored THIS.

    Sue ya later!

  22. [re=354898]gjdodger[/re]: Yes. Like Finch, she can’t stay in one job for long without getting itchy.

    “I’ve lost the vision!”

  23. Why doesn’t she just have her witch doctor put a curse on everyone? It would save a lot of time and money, and have the same results.

    Or maybe that’s her plan B.

  24. [re=354898]gjdodger[/re]: [re=354916]dr.giraud[/re]:

    Todd knows blood is thicker than water, but Sister Sarah is thicker than anything!

  25. I’m starting to believe Sarah Palin is Jesse Ventura in a wig.
    Ooo, I hope that doesn’t land me in internet court!

  26. Allow me to be the first to state categorically (on the intertoobz) that it is true that the federal government/IRS are about to indict sister Sarah for methfueled orgies featuring lesbian bestiality with moose and underaged polar bear. So sue me.

  27. [re=354925]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]From the same site: “let me take the opportunity to pour praise all over you and your colleagues here” To which many no doubt replied – in the privacy of their mothers’ basements:

    “I’m hot, sticky sweet
    >From my head to my feet”

  28. So Sarah’s transformation into an Internet kook is complete. Excellent. It’s too bad she wasn’t quite there in the old days, or we could have had her battle it out with Archimedes Plutonium or Robert E. McElwaine (“UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED”).

  29. [re=354928]x111e7thst[/re]: Eww. I’d rather my thoughts of bukkake revolve around liberals, thanks.

    *visualizes Al Gore, Michael Moore, and Al Franken*

    Okay, I need to work on this.

  30. How does Snow turd intend to pay for these frivolous lawsuits on fer $80k + grift state salary? I don’t imagine contributors to her legal defense fund had this in mind. She seems to be cracking up before our eyes. Couldn’t happen to a dumber person, the White Trash in Chief of our great nation.

  31. I thought it was Tres Cool yesterday how the Nation got together as one peoples and had parades with marching bands and lit off fireworks in every town, city and hamlet all along our purple fruited Plain, from coast to coast and sea to shining sea to in a massive celebration of the news of Sister Sarah’s resignation.

    It was just like the 4th of July, all over again.

    Also, I’ve been savoring the idea that it’s just under 3 weeks that I’ll be able to utter the phrase:

    Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin

    Which, I’ll admit doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as ‘United States Senator Al Franken’, but man, it’s still fun to say and write.

    Soon all the Kewl Kids’ll be doing it too.

    They’ll have to.

    What’s not to like?

  32. She obviously needs a break. I’m emailing her an invite to stay with me awhile without hubby or the kids. She needs time to clear her head and let someone fuck the crazy out of her. Next up, M Malkin.

  33. i am spartacus.

    and wonkette, i love it when you take the gloves off and go in for some serious bitch-slappin’. gets me all wet with glee.

  34. For more Palin linguistic fun, here is the “Executive Column” from the desk of the Governor of AK. So many exclamation points!

    “This land, blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, and oil and gas. It’s energy! God gave us energy.”


  35. Sarah Palin seems to think that bloggers and the mean medianites make too much fun of her family and, as a private citizen, she may have sort of a point. But she’s not just a private citizen.
    When she ran for the vice-presidency, she planted a seed in people’s minds, a little sperm cell of an idea in our mental eggs, so to speak, which, like any good, free American fetus developed a life all its own.
    So, to her family and those who know and love her best, she may be just plain old Sarah Palin, average Christian Conservative housewife and mother of five. But to the rest of us, she is OUR ice queen, OUR Caribou Barbie, OUR Bible Spice or Snowbilly Grifter, OUR glasses wearin’, pit-bull comparin’, lipstick linin, Niemann Marcus shoppin, Moose Skinnin, Wolf Slayin, Turkey Grindin, g droppin, You Betcha sayin, never blinkin, sexy winkin, Russia seein, point guardin’ beauty pageant runner up with the Vagina-of-Steel GILF that keeps on giving.
    And always will be.

  36. [re=354945]gurukalehuru[/re]: Well, given the sneering and stupid remarks she tends to make about others, she does has any moral high ground to bitch and cry about people being mean to “poor ol’ Sarah”. The media went so easy on her for shit like the “paling around with terrorists” crap that it was absurd. But it creates a life of its own, like you stated, simply as it is so beyond the pale that it is memorable.

    It seems to boils down to her threatening to sue people for stating she is erratic, unprofessional, and petty because she acts exactly in that manner. The fact she is either incredibly cynical and/or just too stupid to realise that she even behaves the way that her critics accuse her of in her recent escapades just makes it more funny. Check out the legal brief for the petty jabs at people. I am hoping Sarah wrote it as if she paid a lawyer for that piece of garbage, she is even more stupid than I previously thought.

  37. i can’t think of more American than celebrating Independenc Day by threatening to sue the shit out of everyone. Go Say-ruh Palin!

  38. Only three more weeks of “official” fun, and then AK gets a new Christian conservative reproduction lovin’ moosekillin’ Wasilla governor. With man parts. More to come…

  39. This was right out of the White Trash playbook: quit your job, blame everyone else, threaten lawsuits, rinse and repeat.

  40. I’ve decided I’m not really interested in her being caught in any illegal act which she has no doubt committed. I’m more interested in some Paris Hilton style home video to be released that is in stark contrast to her moral majority ‘values’

  41. “via an alarming backyard last-minute press conference void of any explanation”

    I’m not a fan of Sarah Palin, but have you been watching too much MSNBC? If you actually watched the 18-minute press conference, she spells out her reasons pretty clearly – you just haven’t heard them if you’ve been watching left-leaning media, as they’re playing it off as completely erratic and without explanation. Try watching C-SPAN.

  42. It’s revealed—this is why she is 500K in the hole for legal bills. She has these illiterate jackasses scratching out Gita-length twaddle at all times for X hundred per hour. Easy money, wow. I can’t wait for “Clapp, Peterson” to fly their bush planes to NYC to sue the Times for “defamation.” After the judge stops giggling they will learn the meaning of the terms “public figure” and “failure to state a claim.” And “sanctions.”

  43. I think she has been waiting for the outcry of public support like “Sarah, please don’t go”. Just like all politicians want to say they didn’t want to run but the public demanded it.

    Unfortunately, this won’t be the case except with bible belt wackos (until the bukakke vid comes out)

  44. [re=354890]LoweredPeninsula[/re]: Joe the Plumber has already hinted at the 3rd Party thingy. Therefore I expect the JTP/Snowbilly xxx vids out ASAP

  45. Beehive hair with a wombat’s eyes
    I can feel you watching in the night
    All alone with me waiting for the Soviet sunlight
    When I feel Wasilla cold your warm litigious voice warms me
    When I feel I can’t go on you whisper sweet sweet nonsequiturs
    Its you… and me forever

    Sarah whine
    Won’t you whine a while for me

    If you feel baby Jesus calling you with a higher calling than the high position of Alaska gov’nor and mummy to precious baby Trig you can go
    But why dont you reign until tomorrow?
    And if you want to be free, all you have to do is take the 5th you betch’a it’ll be easy peasy
    When you feel cold, I’ll Aleutian douche you
    And when you feel you cant go on, Ill come and bribe you and build a house for you and make a baby (Aw heck several babies!) with you
    Its you… and me….and you; and you; and you….forever

    Sarah whine
    Won’t you whine a while for me

  46. The best part of the HuffPo article is this lovely email from Madame governor

    “The statement you are suggesting be released would be innaccurate. The innaccuracy would bring greater media attention to this matter and be a distraction. According to your staff there have been no media inquiries into this and you received no questions about it during your interviews. If you are asked about it you should smile and say many alaskans who love their country join the party because it speeks to a tradition of political independence. Todd loves his country.
    We will not put out a statement and inflame this and create a situation where john has to adress this.”

  47. If you want to write a song, please just record yourself singing it and post it on the youtube… like most normal morans.
    I can’t read long words in some kind of pentameter without my eyes crossing. KTHXBYE.

  48. [re=354925]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: ” I’m a law student…I have some sence of logical reasoning.”

    They’ve got them one kick-ass pre-law remedial English program at that Regent Un-versity, huh?

  49. Mencken justifiably would cite “the booboisie.” Begala has already pulled up the perfect quote from Dr. Thompson: “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”

  50. Ken, why “pile on” Palin, even more than Hillary? Sarah’s right, instead of asking “WTF?” people like you need to look in the mirror. Because you are the reason she quit her job. Now, My Wonkette is funny, not sexist. This crosses the line, like the time Letterman made that A-Rod joke just a few weeks after Kobe Bryant raped Willow.

    Please cancel my subscription to Wonkette.

  51. “How sad that Washington and the media will never understand; it’s about country,” the statement said. “And though it’s honorable for countless others to leave their positions for a higher calling and without finishing a term, of course we know by now, for some reason a different standard applies for the decisions I make.”

    I think she just snapped. She’ll star in the new reality show Desperate Politicians along with Mark Sanford soon.

  52. Per

    “Sarah Palin resigning as governor of Alaska to position herself for the White House is like Limahl leaving Kajagoogoo so his solo career could blossom.”

  53. In other news which you will probably not see, Maximum Mayor Marion Barry was just arrested for stalking a woman in a public park.

    You see, Mark Sanford? Take a lesson from the master: this is how it’s done. If you could have held it together for a couple more weeks and jetted off to Argentina this weekend, no one would have ever noticed.

  54. Watch out crabgrass, limescale, high grocery prices, ACORN, that staircase everyone always stubs her toe on, and that episode of Punky Brewster where Soleil Moon Frye and Cherie Johnson becomes pre-occupied with their breasts instead of reading Scripture like all good Christian women should–Sarah Palin might sue you next!

  55. [re=354998]Autochthon[/re]: a failure of pop-culture and the ability to forget that anyone would know what those two words mean muchless why they would be in a sentence. together. hint: solo and blossom are fine. And alaska. i blames society.

  56. I clicked the link to Greta van Douchenozzle’s blog, ignored her post, and read some comments. I think the people who follow these loons are the real wackjobs we need to watch out for…Remember kids, what has nationalism given us? World War I! World War II! Genocide! WOOOooOOOOOo!

  57. [re=354943]SmutBoffin[/re]: You’ve hit upon her plan to turn all the state’s clean air, water, and wildlife into energy.

  58. Maybe I’m just a pessimist, but what if there is no scandal? Maybe we were right all along, when we judged her as a minor-league grifter/attention whore that was destined to implode in a very public way once she was exposed for the twit she is?

    Maybe, like a drunk experiencing their moment of clarity after waking up in a pool of their own vomit on a park bench at noon and swearing that THIS IS THE TIME TO QUIT, Palin has seen the light and is actually doing the smart thing and getting out for good?

    God, this is depressing.

  59. Ok would you stop with the Sarah Palin coverage.

    1) This is like the final day of Anthrocon 2009, Pittsburgh Pa. Where where you, I expected 24-7 coverage. Ha, jokes on you, this was the best one ever.

    2) The Governator is issuing IOUs to be honored by TARP funded banks, in effect the citizens of backward states with balanced budgets are bailing out Cali, but never mind.

    3) Micheal Jackson is dead, just when he is needed to pay off the national debt.

  60. Good GAWD that woman is SO FUCKIN’ stupid I simply MUST fuck her daughter in the @ass! Hey, TOAD, please pull out and let someone else have a crack at it! We’ll name the offsping Jeebuzz or something else retarded…

  61. Can you imagine if this childish self-involved narcissistic bitch had ever become POTUS? Can you just imagine it? At least Bush II was lazy and chill.

    *THIS* neurotic Christianist (as opposed to Christian, some of whom are cool folks) Cunt would have ended up carpetbombing the entire world, while waiting in the Oval Office for the precious Rapture.

  62. [re=354966]anoriega[/re]:

    $100 if you can articulate the reasons using quotes from Palin’s speech to prove each distinct reason.

  63. [re=354984]Gallowglass[/re]: Um, no.

    That email is intelligent and sensible, if misspelled and undercapitalized.

    How is this possible? That email is not from Palin, but to Palin (and many other top campaign folks).

    It’s from Steve Schmidt, laying the vigorous public (well, quasi-public) smack down on her insistence that their message of the week be “The VP nominee’s husband is not a whackjob secessionist, either!”.

  64. [re=354999]Mahousu[/re]: I sent that article as a tip to wonkette early this morning. You know what he will say- “Bitch set me up”

  65. Sarh Palin is a quitter and people need to know what the soon “former gov” was up to while on the job.

    Seems her husband is in the thick of things as well.

    NO way, NO how, can she be trusted!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks but no thanks

  66. This just in: Piper Palin has retained a lawyer to represent her.
    Allegations include:

    • Back pay for all the Child care hours she’s worked without pay. Breach of child labor laws.

    • Child abuse– Hey Dad! You are just standing there in the stage pose doing nothing, while I deal with the squirmy baby in shitty diapers.
    Yes, it’s captured on film- even for the *I quit* presser.
    (Don’t cha wish Piper would have piped up & yelled-
    HEY DAD!!!– You are just standing there doing nothing- how about YOU hold YOUR baby- AND HE NEEDS A DIAPER CHANGE!)

    • Stolen childhood. Piper laments, I spent my entire childhood dragged around on my Mother’s political campaign trails. Mayor, Governor, VP candidate, and now the transition from COUNTRY FIRST, to SCREW THE COUNTRY/TAKE THIS JOB & SHOVE IT campaign themes.
    How much can an 8 year old take?

  67. The man who will take over Alaska after Gov. Sarah Palin (R) resigns this month said Palin’s decision came as an effort to move the state forward while ending ethics investigations that cost the state millions.
    Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell (R), who will become governor later this month, said ethics complaints filed against Palin for virtually every out-of-state trip she has taken in recent months have cost Alaska about $2 million. That, and what Palin described as personal attacks, weighed Palin down.
    “Governor Palin accomplished more in 2.5 years in office than most governors accomplish in one or even two terms here,” he added.

    This is why people shouldn’t set their goals too low. Once you achieve them the only thing left is to resign.

  68. I’m confused. Are all twitters, tweets? Or are all tweeters, twits? This is country and personal destruction, sheeple!!! God Bless Alaska, cuz we are ALL Alaskans now. Also.

  69. This just in:

    Sarah Palin has been signed by 30 Rock to play Tina Fey’s insane bat-shit crazy sister who lives out in the woods and votes Republican.

  70. [re=355020]CthuNHu[/re]: You’re right, that’s from the Vanity Fair article. Clearly Sarah learned absolutely nothing from running for veep and whoever is advising her is feeding her monumental persecution complex.

    However on the scandal front, if there was ever a case of “Methinks the lady doth protest too much” this has got to be it.

  71. [re=355017]Thatcher[/re]: Seconded. Anoriega, I listened to the whole thing, and it all just sounded like the kind of flimsy rationalizations a 19-year-old makes for dropping out of college.

  72. I’m looking into my verified, numbered, and signed “Pastor Murthee Witch-detector ball”, and the next lawsuit will be against….wait….TWITTER. Yes, that is the prophetic vision coming into view…a lawsuit against TWITTER…for the misrepresentation of her words that have caused so much personal destruction and also against disabled children. Also.

  73. [re=355035]iolanthe[/re]: *I* would think so, Iolathe, but apparently “Lizard Scum” hasn’t figured that out.

    Perhaps if we explained to him/her that the little red box with the “X,” in the upper-right corner of his/her browser, is the Wonkette un-subscribe button…

  74. Keep it up, kids! With this many views, I sense teh Wonkettez being named in a class-action.

    RIP Johnnie Cochran, in addition.

  75. I’m sure the editors and lawyers at the WashPost, NY Times, MSNBC, etc are shaking in their boots. Palin is working hard to cement her legacy as a punch line.

  76. [re=355044]Terry[/re]: Nah. Today, the Queen of Jeezusland, as we speak, is in her taxpayer-paid-for Temple (aka HOME) cementing her line with the first dud. I mean dude. also.

  77. [re=355009]Blender[/re]: I want there to be a scandal as it’ll put the final nail in her coffin. There’s too many Republicans out there who think quitting in the middle of her one major executive position in Government is a brilliant tactical move to win the biggest major executive position in Government to not have her completely taken down for the count. That being said, I agree with above posters who are hoping it’s some sort of sex tape scandal, maybe featuring her with, Bill Kristol, and Jonah Goldberg. The collective brain power of all three of them could actually explain Trig.

    [re=355010]Paul Tardy[/re]: Wait, Michael Jackson is dead?

  78. Wife, mother, governor, litigant -I get exhausted just thinking about it. No wonder she had to drop the governor part.

    [re=355042]nappyduggs[/re]: Hopefully this will all be included in Wonkette’s contribution to the Library of Congress so posterity may marvel at this crazy woman. Also.

  79. I personally resent those who OBVIOUSLY believe they have something “better to do” on Sunday afternoon, rather than posting on Wonkette. I OBVIOUSLY have “better things to do”, too. Maybe. If I REALLY wanted to. Well, OF COURSE I do! But these fast-breaking stories on Wonkette are priorities! Get your priorities straight, people!

  80. [re=354978]breepalin[/re]: Maybe you’re new here, but random link whoring of your own dumb blog is cause for dismissal. Just fyi. Not that I care whether you get banned, because you don’t have anything of interest to say thus far, but just trying to do you a favor.

  81. [re=355033]iolanthe[/re]: Say, I had me one of those 19-yr-old dropout things happening to me when my son was 19, and as it turned out, the most important reasons he was fleeing school were not the reasons he gave me. I wonder if we can reason from the specific to the general — or from one specific to another specific — and safely conclude that the reasons Babble Spice gave for crapping out on her elected responsibilities are not the true reasons. I mean, hell, that’s what we’ve all been suspecting and what she’s attempting to sue the free world over, anyhoo. It would also explain why so many bullshit detectors exploded, shorted out, or melted down this weekend. And as was elsewhere noted, those detectors are not free. Ya think maybe we could sue for damages?

  82. Are Clapp, Peterson, VanFlein, Tiemessen, and Thorsness trial lawyers? Sarah, like any red-blooded REAL American, HATES trial lawyers!

    Couric: Why shouldn’t the Ledbetter act be in place? You think it would result in lawsuits brought by women years and years ago. Is that your main problem with it?

    Palin: It would have turned into a boon for trial lawyers.

    Etc., also.

  83. I heard a rumor she likes to get fucked by an actual horse, a la ‘Catherine The Great,’ but her vag is so loose the horse falls asleep. Just a rumor, but very plausible.

  84. I love that you use the correct paste-tense of twitting. I seriously think that the twitter people were going to call all posts ‘twits’ not ‘tweets…’ Until they realized what the past tense of a twit would be.

  85. There are rumors that Sarah Palin is NOT the birth mother of Trig Palin.

    Sue me, please sue me Sarah. I want my team of attorneys to depose you under oath.

  86. Wow, all of you LEFT WING Liberals really HATE Sarah Palin. For people that are supposed to be very forgiving and tolerant, you really show your stripes with Sarah Palin. Palin must really be a severe threat to your LEFTIES to spend so much time bashing her. The more you talk about her, the stronger she gets, and the more media coverage she gets. You are actually helping her get elected. Such idiots… You want to destroy the country (which you are doing a good job of right now), and can’t see the obvious.

  87. [re=355067]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Calling an idiot an idiot doesn’t necessarily mean that one hates the idiot. You idiot.

  88. [re=355067]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Bob…do you realize…that when we play your rant back, we get “Stairway to Heaven”? Why do you hate Jesus and Amerika so much?

  89. Sarah Palin Religious Cult, the 21st century version of Amy Semple McPherson but with a different minority following. The white trailer trash of christian values will send her their monies for her legal bills and she will claim she single-handedly restored the economy while protecting America’s freedom.
    RNC Chair Michael Steele will claim she deserves the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
    Fox News’ Shep will again say fuck into a live mike.
    Michael Jackson will still be dead.
    Wonkette readers will have another field day.
    Best Independence weekend eva! Also.

  90. [re=355067]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: we right wing liberals ain’t so very fond of her, either. we’re the wing that is not forgiving and not tolerant, and we have earned the stripes we so proudly show.

  91. [re=355067]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: And furthermore, BOB, Sarah “screw me” Palin is A FUCKTARD. Yes, Bob. A FUCKTARD. Sue me.

  92. [re=355067]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Keep fantasizing. She doesn’t get stronger; she just gets dumber. Odd that you all support such an infernal whiner. She does not have what it takes to seek … or retain … national office.

  93. [re=355072]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Bob, you are so right. We all “repent” and heretofore worship the temple of Wasilla, and our queen Sarah. NOT. Perhaps…hmmmm…just perhaps…you should take your shaky-shaky, tongue-tied, eye-rolling, pentecostal-loving ass on over to RedState. They take anything with an IQ of less than 90.

  94. [re=355067]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: One other point, Bob, for the mentally challenged, is that what Sarah Palin did on Friday would not be called “getting elected,” but rather “quitting one’s elected office.” It’s not really very obvious, I know, so that’s why I spelled it out for you.

    Since I don’t reside in the great state of Alaska, it doesn’t matter to me personally whether she quits or stays. But I love the theatrics. More Sarah, please!!

  95. [re=355067]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Indeed you are wise. The truth is that Gov. Palin’s resignation has doubled her chances of being elected President in 2012.

    Also, tripled them.

    [re=355035]iolanthe[/re]: [re=355039]Autochthon[/re]: Tragic irony perception fail, also. Real irony, not the Sarah Morrissette variety.

  96. [re=354992]lizard scum[/re]: I think you have struck just the right tone for these trying times with your comment. Ken, you’re pretty funny too.

  97. [re=355076]iolanthe[/re]: Well if Palin is not getting stronger and doesn’t have what it takes, WHY then do you Lefties spend SO much time trying to bash her? ARE YOU THAT SCARED OF HER???
    I think so!!! You KNOW she has what it takes and she might be a threat to your MESSIAH. Remember that in the election it was won by only 4% of the vote, it was NOT a landslide as some seem to think.

    And yes reading many of these posts does sound like a bunch of youngsters in the play-yard behind the school, thinking they are cool,
    when infact, everyone is just laughing at them……


  98. I just luv Sarah so much, all you LEFTIES make me so sick.

    I just want to crawl up inside the Iconic Saint Sarah’s behind so much cuz I love the stink of her shit. Yummy, yummy.

  99. I’m sorry the SarahPAC ad isn’t still on Wonkette. (It’s on Eschaton today, among other places.) The logo, with an outline of Alaska placed in the center of a map of the continental US, reminds me of that SCTV skit with Dave Thomas as the cackling Soviet TV host of “What Fits in Mother Russia?”

    “You see? We fit big moose country home state of Palin with room to spare!”

  100. Bob, the red-stater, is only one of many (212, the 70% of the republican base, who want Sarah to be coronated “Queen” of the Republitard Party. According to the new, self-implosed leader, we “need more Trigs”. Bob is first in line.

    I might take hits, but I don’t care. I love all people. I support all people. I support all those with disabilities. I have a major one. I do NOT think that a potential leader of the free world should WISH that we had more Down Syndrome babies/people. That, in my humble opinion, is POLITICALLY RETARDED.

  101. [re=355067]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Sarah Palin is not a threat to us lefties. She is a threat to the entire country. She has time and again proven herself to be intellectually incurious and lazy, rash, thin-skinned, nasty, small-minded, arrogant, power-hungry, ignorant of the functions of the branches of government at both the federal and state levels, oblivious to the effects of her outlandish rhetoric, unconcerned with her constituents, and incapable of seeing things through (she quit on five colleges, her job as mayor, her job on a state ethics board, and now her governorship.) The only thing she is good at is playing the victim of anyone who to dares criticize her, which plays to the base because you wingnuts have a mammoth persecution complex. Perhaps if you guys would quit whining about EVERYTHING (the mainstream media, leftists, illegal immigrants, whoever else is on your shit list this week) people might be more willing to listen to you. But whining is easier, so you’ll just keep doing it.

    So yes, Palin is a threat to the decency and open-mindedness to which this country is forever paying lip service. The sooner she goes away, the sooner the Republican Party can find some intelligent and viable leaders. That’s the only way the party will ever get out of the wilderness.

  102. Author: teri
    Here’s what Palin had to say about the criticism she faced when she bravely (ahem) “addressed rumors” of President Obama’s association with Bill Ayers…

    “If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations then I don’t know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media.” –Sarah Palin, radio interview with WMAL-AM, Oct. 31, 2008

    Someone brilliant found this and posted it on the huffPo comments section…hundreds of pages of comments….

    Doncha just love smart, real Americans?

  103. My prior post was SO badly executed. Perhaps I should just take a break and compose myself. Deep breath. (Takes extra breath and a quick sip of rum).

  104. [re=355089]NoSoupForYou[/re]:

    “I do NOT think that a potential leader of the free world should WISH that we had more Down Syndrome babies/people”

    I don’t know about that. 90 percent of women who obtain a pre natal diagnosis choose abortion. I actually think that the pro choice platform supports efforts to decrease abortions. People who abort children based on this diagnosis do so out of fear and ignorance.

    (I’m a pro choice mom with two kids with Ds).

  105. [re=355084]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: how’s this for some behind the school KEWLNESS!1!


    (yes, repost but, why not? such as)

  106. [re=355084]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: “Well if Palin is not getting stronger and doesn’t have what it takes, WHY then do you Lefties spend SO much time trying to bash her?”

    Because she is erratic and exercises extremely poor judgement on a regular basis.

    But I am sure that obvious point will not get through to the members of her cult of personality.

  107. [re=355090]imissopus[/re]: You used big words, and large phrases, of which Bob will never understand. Bob is trolling over from RedState. Bob understands 2-syllable words, and very VERY short sentences. Also, use the word “jesus” alot. Otherwise, it’s lost on Bob.

  108. The truth is about to come out – that black kid on youtube who claimed to knock up Bristol IS the real father of Trick, or Trig or Timmy or whatever.

  109. I’m curious about the Greta role in this insane circus. Has Greta already been told she’s going to be replaced by the comely, younger, blonder lawyer/lady Megyn Kelly, so she’s just trolling for her next job as Palin spokeslady?
    Or, has she forgotten that she should at least PRETEND to not be up to her eyebrows in the Palin family vortex of suck?

  110. [re=355090]imissopus[/re]: So this entire BLOG is filled to the brim with WHINING about Sarah Palin, and you talk about Republicans whining??!!???

    I guess because you spend so much time doing it.
    Palin really has you all scared to death, I love it!!!

    The more you bash, the stronger she gets, and the more media coverage.

    So, go right on, continue bashing…..
    She is loving ever minute of it.

    Keep it up, and STAR POWER alone will carry her over the top.
    Come on 2012

    and keep up the good work.
    The more you open up your fat trap, the more help you are giving.


  111. [re=355092]Ken Layne[/re]: The prose, use of CAPS, and punctuation. [slaps forhead] How could I have been so blind? [/slaps]

  112. My prior post was SO badly executed. Perhaps I should just take a break and compose myself. Deep breath. (Takes extra breath and a quick sip of rum).

    [re=355094]Thatcher[/re]: Understand. I support Down’s babies. Have one in my own family. Don’t support the increase of Down’s babies, sorry. They are beautiful, they are sweet, but they are seriously impaired and require lots of care. In a nation that can’t afford healthcare for up to 40% of the population, I don’t think we need to encourage INCREASING the number of Down’s babies. As a nurse, also. I don’t think we should abort based upon a possible “Downs” test, either. It’s up to each mother. Only the mother knows what she can handle, and handling a Down’s baby is hard work.

  113. [re=355100]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: I had to open up my fat trap once because it was clogged with orange peels. Not much fun, so I know what you’re talking about, Bob_WTF. Ew.

  114. [re=355097]NoSoupForYou[/re]: Take another sip of Rum.

    And why do you bring “Jesus” into everything.
    You don’t believe in deity?

    And name-calling like the 5 years in the playground again…. Tsk Tsk….

    I guess, true discussion is lost, with an unarmed opponent.

    So just continue your ranting and raving, thinking you are hurting, when infact, you are creating more media awareness, which if you look at history, really helps anyone….

    Have fun…

    Enjoy your non-discussion in this cesspool called Wonkette…

    And you can keep your “Holier-than-thou” attitudes. People can easily see behind your masks.

    Hopefully your Messiah won’t totally flush this country down the toilet before we can get some REAL leadership in there. Your Messiah hides behind Rahm Emanuel and Nancy Pelosi, he can’t make a decision on his own. And if he loses his Teleprompters, he stumbles, stutters and sounds worse than George Bush…. (whoa, think about that for a minute…)

    Hope everyone had a a nice July 4th weekend, and enjoy your rum.

  115. Oh, Bob. Jesus knows why we are all laughing at Snowbilly. Jesus is, trust me, laughing at Snowbilly,too! She’s not really a threat, unless a REAL president died and she somehow got Pastor Murthee to put her at the nuclear button..then we’d all be afraid.

    Until then, we love the Sarahgate stuff. Please keep posting. We love laughing at Sarah, but we especially love laughing at you!

  116. [re=355100]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Don’t ever confuse snark and ridicule with whining.

    And I can safely say that no one at Wonkette wants Sarah to give up or go away. Ever. You have us confused with some other blog.

  117. [re=355100]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Keep jerkin it to the starbursts, bob. If that’s what gets you through the night…Enjoy…..

  118. [re=355105]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: I do not see whining. I see snark and satire, which is kind of the entire point of Wonkette.

    As for your comment that “true discussion is lost with an unarmed opponent,” you did not answer even one of the criticisms I leveled at Palin in my first comment. You just keep repeating the whole “no such thing as bad publicity” trope. Which I think you will find is incorrect. In any case, you obviously do not have anything going for you other than your smug sense of superiority.

    But if you want to keep thinking that Palin’s gibberish and impulsive behavior is indicative of a qualified presidential candidate, you go right ahead. I’m officially bored with you.

  119. [re=355094]Thatcher[/re]: Why would we need more kids with downs syndrome? Or any disability? That statement just baffled me.

  120. Re Bob_YesItISMe:

    You stupid Wonkies are violating one of the fundamental principles of forensic and deliberative rhetoric, to wit:

    “Never attempt to engage in a rational debate with a [insert favorite animal here, e.g., dog, pig, monkey, snake, etc.]”

    (Or cover all your animal bases, simply use “Ann Coulter.”)

    “It is a waste of time, and just confuses the [dog, pig, monkey, snake, Ann Coulter].”

    I hope that clears it up for you folks.

    P.S. Sarah Palin may be politically dead. But Benazir Bhutto is STILL DEAD DEAD!!!!

  121. [re=355102]NoSoupForYou[/re]:

    Parenting is hard work. It’s sort of part of the job description.

    There is no guarantee that comes with any pregnancy that your child will not be “seriously impaired” whether that impairment is obvious at the time of birth or through some later event. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out the way you dreamed. Certainly you don’t suggest that we start knocking off everyone who becomes seriously impaired because they represent a drain to our health care system?

    I’m not about to turn this blog into an abortion debate, but, honestly, Nurse Ratched, you don’t seem very informed, enlightened or compassionate – your post was full of blatent and old stereotypes that are precisely the reason that parents abort.

  122. Oh, I came up with a slogan for whatever the heck endeavor Ms. Palin will be pursuing in the future:

    Sarah Palin: Making Dan Quayle Look GOOD!

    (Thank you! Thank you!)

  123. [re=355113]the lady MS. Sheila Dixon[/re]:

    It’s Down syndrome. And I didn’t say that we need more children with Ds. I disagree that it’s politically “retarded” (to quote our resident nurse) to support fewer abortions. Ted Kennedy has been a strong advocaate for educating parents who are faced with difficult prenatal decisions. I’d hardly call his work in that regard politically “retarded.”

  124. [re=355114]Neilist[/re]: You, in my opinion, are a two-faced hypocrite, Bob. Go chase that whoring Palin (sue me) for all she’s worth. Just don’t preach to me or anyone else here on Wonkette.

  125. [re=355114]Neilist[/re]: You, in my opinion, are a two-faced hypocrite, Bob. Go chase that whoring Palin (sue me) for all she’s worth. Just don’t preach to me or anyone else here on Wonkette.[re=355115]Thatcher[/re]:

    Absolutely not! Didn’t mean to suggest that. I support all families with Down’s babies. I love those kids! I just think it bizarre to WISH that more babies be born with disabilities. That’s all.

  126. [re=355120]NoSoupForYou[/re]: No, no: The consensus is that I’m an “asshole.”

    Now and forever: A Fixed Constant In An Otherwise Changing Universe.

    “Two-faced hypocrite” would be too much of a step up. Or down, possibly, if the reference is to Cerebus.

    But don’t let me detain you, and all the rest in here, from attempting to engage in the forensic equivalent of clubbing a gay baby harp seal.

    (Bob: Don’t misread that: You’re nowhere near as attractive as a gay baby harp seal. Before or after clubbing.)

  127. [re=355100]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Hey, you are funny. I have a master’s degree and have visited 6 continents(over many trips and many years)- so I am more educated, have more foreign experience and much more work experience than your queen- but I am far from qualified to be the president. My take on many of her supporters is that they are 1)racist or2)poorly educated and so admire a similarly poorly educated person who has grifted her way to a job that pays about 2/3 of my job- (and probably 4 times yours)or 3)are brainwashed by their preachers and the right wing media and worship “family values” and think she has some. I hope she stays in the limelight-I am looking forward to her next run for office. Palin/Sanford 2012.

  128. “I will faithfully discharge my duties as governor of the state of Alaska to the best of my ability, so help me God.” — Sarah Palin, December 2006

    We can only conclude that governing Alaska was beyond her abilities.

  129. Nobody hates Down’s Syndrome Babies! For crying out loud! Nobody on this site would make fun, or disparage a Down’s baby. None of us with a brain WISHES for more Down’s babies in the world. That’s just cruel! To wish a disability on someone??? As a nurse with a major disability…and who has held and loved many disabled infants..why would you WISH that on a mother? Maybe I’m lost, but I’m not cruel.

  130. [re=355126]Neilist[/re]: Neil, I’m genuinely touched. You used the word ‘gay’ as a term of endearment. Aawwww, I like Neil.

  131. and more:
    “# Grateful Todd left fishing grnds to join me this wkend; but now he’s back slaying salmon & working the kids @ the site; anxious to join ’em!27 minutes ago from TwitterBerry
    As has been the case for decades, family is commercial fishing in Bristol Bay-I look forward to joining the work crew for 1 day picking fish35 minutes ago from TwitterBerry
    Attached is my “thank you” sent yesterday to express gratitude, & smack down lies at same time…about 3 hours ago from web”

    She’s picked herself up, dusted herself off, and is back to fishing. And any day spent fishing is better than a day spent governing.

  132. [re=355115]Thatcher[/re]: I really hate that people here(and in many other places) throw around the word “retarded”. As you know- and they should- it is not used to describe people with developmental disabilities- or anyone else -except by the immature and insensitive. I can dish the snark with the best of them but using “retarded” to describe someone is a sign of a small vocabulary and a smaller mind.

  133. [re=355105]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: You have inspired me to finally attempt writing my own “A Streetcar Named Desire”. I’m going to title it “This Cesspool Called Wonkette”.

  134. Oh my goodness: Now I’m known as Nurse Ratchet. lol. If only anyone knew! I’m the most soft-hearted, non-judgemental person you would meet!

    I have a pregnant daughter, who is carrying a baby that probably won’t “make it” till her 6th or 7th month (and will be born dead), and I have salivated and watched over every pregnancy….you right-tards who have called me “nurse ratchet”, don’t even know what you are talking about.

    How many pregnancies have you nursed? How many women have you sat and cried with? None, I would expect.

    Don’t come on here are proselytize to me. I am a mother of 4, and lost 2. None were by abortion, but if I’d chose to abort them, well…that would be my business.

    I’m no “Nurse Ratchet”, but I’m probably done with Wonkette. It has apparantly been taken over by “holier-than-thous”.

  135. [re=355117]Bathroom Goblin[/re]: Your Messiah Barack Hussein Obama will not produce his either. Just that fake Hawaiian duplicate. His lawyers keep fighting this issue hard.

    I think it is time for me to leave this group of drunken bastards,
    too difficult to have words of wit with unarmed Left nutjobs!!!

    Enjoy your ranting and raving, and name-calling.

    And look out, Sarah Palin is coming……. (ohhh awwww)
    And you can thank yourselves for doing such a good marketing job.
    Many thanks!!

  136. [re=355134]finallyhappy[/re]: What’s wrong with being “small” minded? Are you being size-ist? Are you a size queen? So my vocabulary is a little limited, and my mind not quite as expansive as it once was— this is the way I am. I didn’t choose it and I certainly don’t appreciate YOUR insensitivity, so lick my wiener OK dumbface!??!

  137. NoSoupForYou has left for good. This bullshit of Palinistas, advocating equality for the mentally retarded is WAY beyond me. If this blog has sunk to the level of Palin’s family, I’m out for good. I wish everyone here well. I’ll vote for an ALIEN before I’ll ever take up for that mentally-deficiant grifter from Alaska, who totes around her disabled son as a prop for votes. I’d rather devote my time for the mentally disabled..and encourage them not to run for federal office, like Palin (OR HER SUPPORTERS). I’m done.

  138. Geez, it’s bad enough that Ken had to sacrifice part of his holiday debauchery to cover Caribou Barbie’s political seppuku, but now you’re making him oil up the Banhammer too?

  139. [re=355144]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: “I think it is time for me to leave this group of drunken bastards,
    too difficult to have words of wit with unarmed Left nutjobs!!!

    Enjoy your ranting and raving, and name-calling.”

    It is too bad you are too stupid to notice the obvious contradictions in your comment.

  140. [re=355146]NoSoupForYou[/re]:

    Are you talking to me? I’m not a Palin supporter. I’m not even a Republican. Or pro-life.

    Just for the sake of clarity. I don’t want to engage you because you seem on the very of going Palin and updating your facebook about how I’ve defamed you by calling you Nurse Ratched in about three seconds.

  141. I love the humor and the watching a dingbat go down in flames as much as the next guy, but I’m also a little pissed that she’s still something that anyone talks about.

  142. Bob_YesItIsMe: Dont leave. I want to hear your views on who was behind 9/11 who runs the Federal Reserve and who killed Jesus.

  143. Nice article on palin but i would change “challenged nonsense” in the first paragraph to “ramblings” :)

    As I called out on twitter and asked, who is more bat shit crazy: Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, or katherine Harris?

    I think I’d have to call it a toss up honestly.

  144. [re=355115]Thatcher[/re]: I’m not about to turn this blog into an abortion debate

    That’s good, since you preemptively dragged out the most moronic of pro-lifer strawmen in that very comment.

  145. [re=355159]ariuszme[/re]: I vote for Bachmann. I’m sure she actually believes all of what she says. Harris is just an opportunist riding the current waves. Palin? I think she’s reached the level of her competence and her emotions are shorting out.

  146. [re=355157]x111e7thst[/re]: but…but.. it’s pr0n!!! pr0n is always a good segue. Or has my boyfriend been lying to me again?

  147. “Hell have no furry like a womens scorn.” That was one of you guys, right?”

    If it were someone here it would have correctly read, “hell hath no furry like a woman scorned” !!

    as for Sarah owning the media next wk, nahhhh unfortunately cnn and others are all tabloid-ratings whores and are drowning in their epic MJ death ad-nauseam.

  148. ok my last post, that would be “fury” not “furry” (ugh) :(

    I dunno chascates, if you review everything Katherine Harris has ever done or said and the conintual blathering of Sarah… I just don’t know :)

  149. [re=355160]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]:

    *shrug* I’m not pro-life. I don’t even support the use of that label to describe those who adhere to that particular political belief.

  150. [re=355162]the lady MS. Sheila Dixon[/re]: I get the porn part, it was the “never gonna give you up” that was confusing me.
    I prefer porn as an intro but hey – de gustibus etc.
    Your boyfriend is a guy – he almost certainly does not think of it as lying to you.

  151. [re=355129]NoSoupForYou[/re]: “Nobody on this site would make fun, or disparage a Down’s baby.”

    I would.

    I mean, someone has to hold down the left side of the bell curve.

    Q: What’s the difference between Trig and home plate?

    A: Home plate doesn’t drool and cry when the runner slides in.

    [I know, I know. Not a classic along the lines of:

    Q: What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s vagina and her mouth?

    A: Only one retarded thing has come out of the former.)

    [re=355130]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I have NOTHING against gays. In fact, I find Log Cabin Republicans immensely amusing. Although, I find Lipstick Lesbians more . . . entertaining.

    [re=355136]NoSoupForYou[/re]: No problemo, Soup. You can recycle it for later.

    [re=355165]Thatcher[/re]: Can I be “Pro Death”? Someone needs to be. And I’m equipped, after all. (But if ammunition prices keep going up, I’ll have to take up a collection before dealing with creatures like Bob. (A head shot clearly would have no effect whatsoever. Even with my .460 Weatherby . . . and it costs a bloody fortune per round.)

  152. Just so I get this straight: the mongoloid (down syndrome) perpetually abandoned at about 8 years of age, by their “Christian” families, should continue to be taken care of by state and federal the way..they eat their Kotex’s and screw all the retarded males? Is that Jesus enough for you? Because they are retarded AND abandoned, and screw anything that moves, and eat their kotexes, should we pay for them to continue this un-Jesus behavior?

  153. [re=355171]Neilist[/re]:

    Pretty good bait, but I don’t think Soup is going to bite (because nothing says “I’m obsessively refreshing my Web page like saying ‘I’ve left the building.'”).

  154. I have a downs baby. It isn’t a good thing. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s a blessed event from God. This is a sweet pitiful baby, yes. Doomed to destruction, yes. I would gladly go back and abort than watch this pitiful child go through this pain. I would die, personally, than watch this child suffer. No Downs baby shoud be brought into this world willingly, in my opinio. Any so called Christian who says so is full of shit. I hope Palin rots in hell for what she puts her baby through.

  155. [re=355166]x111e7thst[/re]: Well, I’m glad you know what he thinks ( although I don’t know how you know) because this whole “7 missiles fired by one guy” story he’s trying to prove is just incredible.

  156. [re=355127]finallyhappy[/re]:
    poorly educated and so admire a similarly poorly educated person

    Sister Sarah has teh college educations, Senior Booklearned. Just because she is an idiot, does not automatically make her one of us (the uneducated “salt-peter of the earth”.).
    Most idiots have college degrees, if you take the time to look around and actually pay attention to who is drooling into the microphones these days, the only uneducated idiot on the national stage is Joe T Unlicensed Plumber, everybody else has been to da big learny places and managed to get at least one college diploma.
    So,stop hating on us. We’re the ones who dig your ditches and fight in your wars, we don’t run things and I’m getting more than a little tired for being blamed every time one of your learned jack asses go rogue.

  157. [re=355176]the lady MS. Sheila Dixon[/re]:I was just guessing. Perhaps not well. I certainly do not wish to argue. I crashed my motorcycle earlier this afternoon and am dealing with the pain of separation (and massive skinloss) via as many oxycods as I could lay hands on and Wonkette. For the distraction.

  158. Boy you Lefty nutjobs must really be afraid of Sarahcuda! Thank God you’re here running the marketing campaign while Sarah Palin rockets into political infamy and saves the world after quitting an elected office! Whoa boy! Sarah Palin farts gumdrops and I bet her pussy smells like the moist tundra. And I just love her rambling prose. It’s like listening to someone read Keroauc backwards. I bet now that she’s got all this free time on her hands she’ll have five MORE retarded kids and get the other girls all knocked up and have a Palin militia!

    sorry. Bob’s getting inside my head.

  159. [re=355143]NoSoupForYou[/re]: “I’m no “Nurse Ratchet”, but I’m probably done with Wonkette. It has apparantly been taken over by “holier-than-thous”.”

    you can come stand right next to me. i ain’t holier than nobody.

  160. Try to put the seat down when you finish here at Wonkette. I just sat down into the dripping wet stories. Geez, people act like Wonkette is the last bathroom until Anchorage. First there was a 10 minute wait to get in, and now there’s no toilet paper left. There are people just trying to leave comments here, you animals!

  161. [re=355144]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Giving up so soon? Man! They just don’t make trolls like they used to. Not since those cougar … er, tiger … um, panther … whatever! the big cat ladies who lost that blog award thingy.

    Bob was breaking the monotony of this apparently serious debate about abortion and down syndrome. I barely recognise my Wonkette anymore!

    SKSmith/Waggaman for Preznit 2011!!!eleventy-one!!!

  162. wow… this thread was way funny earlier in the day, then later the snark withered and the wonketties turned into a bunch of cats thrown into a burlap bag together… coming down’s a bitch, i know… all my time’s been spent… sky fall down again…

  163. Trig in Inuktitut means “the human prop with the funny eyes.” You see, our Sarah is a smart cookie.
    Afterall, she has education from 5 different colleges. So she’s extra educated, but you libtards wouldn’t understand that CUZ PALIN’S GOTCHA RUNNIN SCARED!! KEEP EM ON THEIR TOES SARAH!! GOD BLESS YOU!

  164. downsisn’: I wish I could be with you to help. We are here to snark but we have that capacity because we care about others too, sometimes. My kid is amazing. Wish yours was the same. The world if so fucked up, but raising a kid makes you see what is better.

  165. My little nephew, “Tristan”, a down syndrome “special” child, successfully strangled and killed his little sister last year. He was 10, she was 3. He was so special…one of those that Sarah Palin thinks we need more of. God bless her.

    Thank you Jesus. Thank you Sara. They are so ‘SPECIAL”. The normal baby is dead, but he special baby is in a state home now. WE need more of him.

  166. This is to the moron writing this article,

    I hate Palin…I can’t believe the ignorance of the GOP and its supporters who fell in love with this bimbo. What irritates me more are journalists who try to defend our 1st Amendment rights by slamming a person who “…threatens to sue the entire, Internet…”. The 1st Amendment does not give us the right to libel, which has jurisdiction in civil and criminal court for defamation of character. Even when private information released of an individual is true, if there is any defamation of character then the person or persons responsible are legally liable and can be held accountable for their actions in a court of law.

    Nice try but only an idiot would fall into your manipulative propaganda. What ever happened to real journalism? I would like to hear or read the news without the opinions of the writers; just state the facts and let the people decide their own opinion for themselves. It’s like the millions of imbeciles who are leftwing or rightwing no matter what the issue is. Those buffoons have already made up their minds prior to even hearing what is being proposed to them. And we wonder why we are falling behind in the world with our math and sciences.

  167. [re=355178]x111e7thst[/re]: I don’t argue on the internet. I’m here for the beer. But here’s another rickroll. Hope it makes you smile.

  168. [re=354893]LoweredPeninsula[/re]: Gimme a break. Ken Layne is the reason she resigned. Flog-blog it until it’s dead, Wonkette.

  169. [re=355204]the lady MS. Sheila Dixon[/re]: Thanks for the RRoll. I was just worried about the arguing cause many seem quite angered on the Wonkette tonight.

  170. [re=355199]HungLikeAHamster[/re]: Satire! Satire satire satire! We do not come here for the serious journalism! Jesus, smoke a bowl or something.

    Someone’s got one of those Romney-approved rectal spindles wreaking havoc…

  171. [re=355240]imissopus[/re]: Is there any doubt the pro-life crowd and the Christianists need their own party? Because that issue will never be solved. Get a third party run by Bible Spice and Joe Wurstburgler-that is the only solution.

  172. Hey, the rumor I heard about BibleSpice’s quittin’ reason is that A-Rod was supposed to go to the Wasilla Sport Center, confused it with her house from lookin’ at it on Google Earth, stayed the night, and really did knock up Willow.
    Too soon?

  173. Gotta be something wrong with that site meter. I mean, c’mon, it’s the Sunday after the 4th of July. Hungover people with bleeding anuses were not taking the time to blog at Wonkette, surely. So who are these other imposters? The army of Trigs?

  174. [re=355100]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: “The more you bash, the stronger she gets…” Huh? She just said she’s quitting because she doesn’t like she’s getting picked on. Go back to Red and lick your wounds, you’re just going to take a beating here.

  175. There was a day a while ago when I was really sick that I’ll never forget.

    I spent most of the day in the bathroom ejecting the most wretched foulness from both ends – at the same time. I was afraid that I wasn’t going to die it was so horrendous. I just wanted it to end. No matter what. Truly a bad day.

    That day was far better than any day spent reading comments from Palin supporters.

  176. Snark-free quote of the day:

    All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
    –Thomas Jefferson

  177. [re=355267]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: tThat’s akin to the comment:
    “like Ben Kenobi letting Darth Vader strike him down. Palin is not going to run in 2012, but by doing this she can now become Barack Obama’s worst nightmare, and help rebuild the opposition to Obama.”

    I’m sorry. Sarah Palin is Jar Jar Binks and will be as little missed when she snowshoes off the stage. Although I still think Desperate Politicans would make a funny albeit sad TV show.

  178. “Bah! The more you hit Hulk, the more he gets angry! And the more angry Hulk gets, the stronger he gets…AND NO ONE IS STRONGER THAN HULK!!! HULK SMASH!!!!”

    “However, puny humans make fun of Skaar, Hulk’s son, so Hulk quit now. Puny humans will respect Hulk family privacy. And remember, Hulk not engaged in ‘heroics as usual’. Hulk not wired that way.”

  179. [re=355159]ariuszme[/re]: Bachmann, Palin, Harris: just like Gödel, Escher, Bach, but with deranged GOP hellspawn in heels.

    Each has her own particular ludicrously over-the-top trait that astounds and repels any sane and decent person.

    Harris’s is sheer unadulterated shameless evil.

    Palin’s is the powerful conviction that she is fit for high office, or even low-to-medium office.

    Bachmann’s is the earnest wide-eyed belief that the nutjob things that come out of her mouth are TRUE.

    Bachmann wins the crazy.

  180. One would think there would be more plausible theories behind this batshit lunatic move.

    1. Preemptive move against some disastrous revelation?
    2. Triage against further erosion of political currency in lame duck phase of term?
    3. Creation of strategic space to plan future political campaign?

    Hey sue me for this, dipshit! Some guy at Spenard Builders’ Supply told me what really happened. Roger Ailes tendered Governor Palin some irrationally enormous proffer to be a political commentator on Fox; she was counseled by her CAA representative to accept before she completes her slide into Dubya territory (where only Bob Jones alums fail to be dismissive of the most embarrassing Republitards). Mike Ovitz himself orchestrated the resignation to build buzz ahead of her debut.

    The worst part is that she would be huge–she appeals to the same brain-challenged demographic Sean Hannity does: those who claim to be patriotic while substituting mindless flag-waving for actual comprehension of founding principles. In red country, she ain’t got much competition looks-wise: after dumbest-person-on-television Elizabeth Hasselbeck, things get desperate with horse-faced Ann Coulter, to unsettling with rat-faced Greta Van Susteren, and finally unacceptable with man-faced Jon Voigt.

  181. [re=355182]tim2[/re]: “I’m always amused when ugly leftist women who have no life, boyfriend, or children show their vast jealousy of Sarah Palin.”

    Isn’t that a coincidence. I’m equally amused when slutty-looking right-wing women who have no brains, several boyfriends, and a horde of children show their vast sense of affinity for Sarah Palin.

  182. You know what it’s a good thing this happened because otherwise, today on the radio/tv Sean Hannity might have to regurgitate the same absolute unfounded, unrealistic, irrelevant conservative propaganda machine horse shit that he does every schoolday (I say schoolday because unlike real Americans, Sean Hannity does not work on weekends, or holidays, or on days that he doesn’t feel like doing 4 hard hours of sitting on his ass).

    The title of this made me absolutely giggle my ass off when my friend linked it on Facebook. I, like most intelligent, honest, people of true piety, did not hear or see the news about this until others put it out in the open. I saw that she resigned, for which I was utterly grateful. You are free from Palin, Alaskans, perhaps now I can visit your state. This, however, is just more icing on the cake than I can eat at one time. This must be savored for weeks to come.

    Sue the entire internet? Look, I know you’re retarded, it was made quite clear during the campaign, although I’m quite aware it’s a unifying trait of the conservative group, but sue an intangible noun? Yes you can sue the people on the internet, though there honestly aren’t supreme court rulings about internet free speech serving as precedents, or through some twisted method the ISP’s or site admins or whoever else, but give me a break. It just makes me happy and giddy when conservatives are so retarded that they actually cross the threshold between stupidity and malevolence and they actually do something so retarded that they hurt the cause of their own party and their own career.

    Yes, Sean Hannity. We should vote for conservatives; the party of hypocrisy, regressivism, carelessness, ignorance, racism, environmental plunder, malevolence, anti-Constitutionalism, and EVIL. You’re right. I’m sold, you have my vote for the 10 elections.

  183. Monkey says: Watch for the second coming of Sarah! Once Gov, now donning the holy robes as the High Priestess of the Holy Rolling Christian Right Wing!

  184. [re=355144]Bob_YesItIsMe[/re]: Sarah raised the white flag of surrender. To the terrorists, and to Vladimir Putin rearing his head, where do they go?, it’s Alaska, and to the politics of personal destruction she raised the white flag of surrender. Also. You feel threatened, and with every post you make the GOTCHA politics that much stronger doncha know, which is why you raised the white flag of surrender too, you betcha, progressing the party of Trig which needs more Trigs in the world and you would be naive to think there is not a full court press on the point guard who can no longer do anything with the ball but progress in the opposite direction, which is regress, which is Trig 2024. Change you can dry-heave in. We’re pinheads all, we are not whole, we’re pinheads all, jocko homo, but not in a gay way, no rainbow flag, white flag of white party GOP surrender flag by golly. Frivolous investigations, taxpayer dollars, energy independence, real climate change ever since August, white flag, very fashionable before Labor Day you betcha. I’ll try to find a white flag and bring it tooooo ya. Also there is no pallin’ around, no sex tape. Greta?

  185. Blago wasn’t the object of a criminal investigation, either, until he sold the senate seat to Burris. I beleive that he was referred to as “Politician A” during the Rezko investigation.




  187. Wow, I could say so much….. but then I would be taking too much time out of my day to try to unbrainwash you morons who take MSNBC as the “TRUTH” and the anointed ones lies as the same. I wish you brainless sheep would start thinking for yourselves, oh wait too hard to do your own research. Besides all of the biased media outlets think for you, and you can spend all of your time blogging about how great Obamas dog is, and how michelle is a dog. I think someone really hit this country with the dumb stick, I mean look, Al Stanken is a senator!!

  188. Yeah. Sarah Palin is a real quitter. Imagine hearing that you are carrying a downs syndrome baby with 4 kids at home already and you’re doing a good job as govenor of a big state. So you decide to make the difficult lifelong choice to lovingly mother who you firmly believe is another of God’s beautiful blessings. What a quitter she is.

  189. Growing up we were taught the ‘greatness’ of Democracy and I believed all of that, mainly from trust of teachers in general and some large dose of naivety. This past election I saw first hand the overwhelming danger of Democracy in the choice of a man whose parallels to Adolph Hitler are scary enough but his stated policies were absolutely absurd and wholly un-American! Yet, even I accepted the democratic procedure and gave him a chance which he pissed away in each and every of his acts as President. Worse still is that we could have had the staunchness and straight forward honorable action s of someone like John McCain and Sarah Palin. That so much bashing goes on even now with as clear a choice as Palin shows me just how many worthless and dishonorable people in America are voting. Is it possible that every one of these fools expect something for nothing or would steal from their own child for a moments pleasure?
    And, please, before you try lamely to defend the man currently trying to destroy America, consider the FACTS [I know, facts are something you avoid as hard as you avoid common sense, responsibility and truth]: His first act was to break his campaign policy of “govern with hope instead of fear” and scare everyone into passing a “stimulus plan” [I’d be ROFLMAO if that lie wasn’t so scary] that contained 9,000 earmarks. Yes, NINE-THOUSAND! More than in any bill ever. None of which by the way is going to stimulate anything except a further erosion of our hope to survive as a nation. To give you a perspective, about that $873 BILLION he spent: if you spent One Million dollars A DAY, EVERY DAY … since the birth of Christ you would still not have spent within ONE HUNDRED BILLION of that much! To top it off, he has printed 1.5 TRILLION dollars to fund this nonsense and wants to print 2 trillion more! He has just extended this recession by 8-11 YEARS.
    I could go on for thousands of words more on his vile actions, but to what point? Those who foolish voted for him never bothered to look at the facts first and refuse to now, finding solace only in continuing to bash his opponents as if that justifies their ridiculous mistake at the polls. If any of you had one percent of the integrity and honor of Sarah Palin Democracy would still have a chance; as it is, there are now more imbeciles in the US than men of honor.

  190. [re=355573]jasper f. krone[/re]: I’m pretty sure he meant [url=][i]ulterior[/i][/url]. Or…he would if the word were even in his vocabulary. Such commitment…I mean, wow! Talk about embracing your ignorance; so hilarious the way Republicans reap their disdain for education. I address this to you because I’m not sure [b]areYOUkidding[/b] can read anything not rendered in ALL CAPS.

  191. [re=360337]mstrhank[/re]:
    If you had one percent of the intellect and education of Barack Obama, you wouldn’t use the English language as though you were home-schooled by regular guests of Jerry Springer.

    Thank you for not going on “for thousands of more words”. I’m not sure I could have taken much more of your moronic misspelling, arbitrary capitalization, fragmented sentences, and dysfunctional punctuation.

  192. [re]patronanejo says at 12:21 am, July 6th, 2009[/re]:
    Hey sue me for this, dipshit! Some guy at Spenard Builders’ Supply told me what really happened. Roger Ailes tendered Governor Palin some irrationally enormous proffer to be a political commentator on Fox; she was counseled by her CAA representative to accept before she completes her slide into Dubya territory (where only Bob Jones alums fail to be dismissive of the most embarrassing Republitards). Mike Ovitz himself orchestrated the resignation to build buzz ahead of her debut.

    [re]ABC News [] says at 10:47 pm, July 12th, 2009[/re]:
    Earlier this week, Levi Johnston, the former fiance of Palin’s daughter Bristol, lambasted the governor for stepping down from office.
    In a press conference Thursday [July 9th, 2009], Johnston claimed that he heard the governor say several times how much she’d like to take advantage of the lucrative media offers that came in after the 2008 campaign.
    “She had talked about how nice it would be to take some of this money people had been offering us and, you know, just run with it, say, ‘Forget everything else,'” he said.

    Wonkette predicts the future!

  193. Sue the entire internet? Look, I know you’re retarded, it was made quite clear during the campaign, although I’m quite aware it’s a unifying trait of the conservative group, but sue an intangible noun? Yes you can sue the people on the internet, though there honestly aren’t supreme court rulings about internet free speech serving as precedents, or through some twisted method the ISP’s or site admins or whoever else, but give me a break. .It just makes me happy and giddy when conservatives are so retarded that they actually cross the threshold between stupidity and malevolence and they actually do something so retarded that they hurt the cause of their own party and their own career

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