Oh jesus christ.
Come on, we are supposed to be celebrating AMERICA this July 4th Weekend, but of course with Sarah Palin, it’s all about Sarah Palin. So she has RUINED our Independence Day by announcing that she’s quitting the governor’s job (boring!) and handing over power to the lieutenant governor, and this apparently means she’s running for the GOP nomination for PRESIDENT (we just elected one!) in 2012, the end? Probably not. [Fox News/CNN]

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  1. From her speech:
    “Once I decided not to run for re-election, I also felt that to embrace the conventional ‘Lame Duck’ status in this particular climate would just be another dose of ‘politics as usual,'”

    So if you’re not going to run again just chuck the whole deal. Thanks.

  2. This is her Mean Girl revenge on all that Librul Media… make those lazy fuckers put on their makeup instead of get drunk by the pool.

  3. You know it HAS something to do with Sexy Time in the 49th state…

    Alaska, Argentina — they both start and end in “A” — for assfucking.


    OK, I missed her swandive on TV, is she leaving to “spend more time with her family?” Because I’d really, really love for this to turn into a sex scandal.

  5. Maybe she’s going to go run South Carolina. Even better, I hope Todd’s girlfriend/boyfriend (whichever it is) is about to make a GRAND announcement while the Governor is out “hiking the Bering Strait”

  6. It seems suspicious to release this on a Friday being the media whore that she is- there must be something more to this and I think it may be scandalous.
    Are we lucky enough to have 3 GOP infidelity ‘issues’ in 3 weeks?

  7. kjdsfhfyisfbb,sdnm,sdkjyyfdsiusdfkbndfhlkasdhfoieruoiewqrlnvklxjvkljafjsjfslkdjdfyweoruwopruoweiureoirujewqlkjasndfm,ndfjasfkdjaslfj

    srry, my penis lept onto the keyboard, I better go calm him down.

  8. She doesn’t want to be a lame duck! Someone please remember that, and remind her in the 7th year of her presidency (god forbid)!

  9. Hoo-hoo, is Baby-Gate about to break wide open? Has someone done a DNA match on Palin’s lipstick-smudged coffee mug and Trig’s pacifier? Is she knocked up again? Is Williow knocked up? Are there new infidelity or ethics bombshells about to drop? Suddenly this soporific weekend got a whole lot dishier…

  10. “I am determined to take the right path for Alaska even though it is not the easiest path,” Palin said.
    “I look forward to helping others — to fight for our state and our country, and campaign for those who believe in smaller government, free enterprise, strong national security, support for our troops and energy independence.”

  11. Another sex scandal, I presume. Next step is a press conference with Todd at her side, at which she will admit that she has betrayed, balbalbla?

  12. “So, no decision yet on either 2010 or let alone 2012?” Blitzer asked.
    “No decision that I’d want to announce today,” Palin responded.

    Please, God. Bless me and let me live through 2012, at least.

  13. The siren should be even bigger.

    Its funny how this could be categorized under politics, gossip, entertainment, media, and comedy.

  14. Well, we’ve only been saying for a year that she should resign, and that she has no place in politics. Maybe she’ll go back to entering beauty contests and working as a television sports announcer–that would be fun. If she thinks she’ll ever be president of the United States, she must be living in Fantasy Land–the majority of people in this country would not vote her in as president.

  15. Her brother is on Fox News right now blaming the attacks from the media, and saying defending herself was becoming a full time job. I don’t see how she can possibly run for higher office now if she can’y even handle being governor of Alaska without quitting. Does anyone really think that the press is going to be any easier on her if she was elected President of the United States?

  16. Way to capture the long-weekend news cycle. her handlers have improved their game.

    There is no way on earth that Bible Spice actually used the term “bloodsport” on her own. Also.

  17. She is resigning for the following reason:

    “so that this administration, with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future, can continue without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success,”

    So in other words, she is ending her administration so that her administration can continue without interruption.


  18. In her Friday announcement, Palin made a seemingly veiled reference to the Vanity Fair article, which she characterized as a blatant shot at wounding her politically.

    “My choice is to take a stand and effect change and not hit our heads against the wall,” Palin said. “You are naive if you don’t see a full court press from the national level picking away right now a good point guard.”

  19. This announcement makes me think of something a famous man once sang:

    Those sweet memories will always be dear to me
    Girl, no matter what was said
    I will never forget what we had now, baby!

    R.I.P., Snowbunny!

  20. [re=353948]AK Insomniac[/re]: How ’bout you make some selections and copy them over here so we don’t have to give them traffic.

  21. So basically her feelings got hurt because people have said mean things about her so she’s going to take her toys and go home. Now she won’t have to be accountable to anyone about anything; it really will be Sarah’s word against everybody else’s. Welcome to SP’s padded cell!

  22. what is wrong with this woman, she can’t even keep her attention on a job for more than three years

    also did you see the camerawork on that vid, the guy was shaking and zooming and shit every two seconds. are we so sure it wasn’t trig holding the camera?

  23. I hate to admit this, but I actually feel a little sorry for her now that it’s all over.

    She was just a clueless little shit from some backwater that got in way, way over her head.

    The problem was she didn’t realize she was clueless and in way over her head until somebody asked her where Russia actually is.

  24. I blame A-Rod. This explains the Letterman ‘overreaction’ by Palin. It was too close to home and too near the bone.

  25. Shorter Sarah: “By gosh golly I knew that Todd was right when he said my bein’ governor and all would make us a shitload of money. I just never realized it’d come from bein’ a quiter so I can have more time to go fleece the rubes Outside without those pesky ethics complaints and investigations by the librul media.”

    Which one of the kids gave the “Hell, yeah!” to her quitting?

  26. From the FOX piece:
    Todd Palin told FOX News that his wife will concentrate on “doing the things for Alaska and the country” that she is passionate about and can not do as governor with the limitation and constant opposition she deals with within the state.

    What ‘things’? Feuding with lame comedians? Giving NRO writers and PUMAs starbursts? Squabbling with relatives?

    Oh. ‘Shameless self-promotion’. Duh.

  27. [re=353964]MFAWG[/re]: What makes you think this is over? It likely means she’s bringing her crazy from Alaska down to the rest of the country – not good.

  28. The Anchorage Daily News reported earlier this week that SarahPAC, the governor’s political action campaign, sent out an e-mail seeking new contributions from supporters, in part to boost Mrs. Palin’s fund-raising totals ahead of the June 30 reporting deadline to the Federal Election Commission.

    “With your help, we can take the governor’s message and encourage others who also have hope and are firmly rooted in the conservative belief that you know best how to spend your money and not government,” wrote SarahPAC spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton in the e-mail solicitation.

    “A good point guard knows exactly when to pass the ball so the team can win,” she said. “I know when time to pass the ball for victory.” She added the decision to step down had been “in the works for a while.”

  29. [re=353960]torera[/re]: And if she thinks Mittens isn’t going to say mean things about her, then she hasn’t been paying attention. It won’t be the libruls who take her on, it’ll be her own party that’s frantically trying to rid itself of wingnuts. Independence Day, indeed!

  30. You can really see the different biases on cable news right now. MSNBC is talking about how Palin is political dead meat, and Fox is talking about how she’s this giant victim. CNN is talking about Michael Jackson.

  31. @klayne

    Ken, I am sorry I doubted you. I raged at wonkette for a few minutes, thinking that none of you will be able to summon yourselves from 3rd-of-july-drunken-stupor to serve your community.

    I will never doubt you again.

    But, for extra credit, you need to give us the goods. Uncover the sex scandal here first, FTW! and a possible Pulitzer.

  32. Let me get this straight. Assuming this isn’t a sex scandal, and I haven’t yet given up hope, Palin thinks that resigning her current elected office, the office to which the Alaskan people duly elected her and for which she still has a year to serve, to run for another elected position, the election for which will not occur for another 3 1/2 years, is supposed to recommend her as a candidate for president?

  33. From SarahTweet:
    “We’ll soon attach info on decision to not seek re-election… this is in Alaska’s best interest, my family’s happy… it is good, stay tuned”

    There’s been rumors of an ‘iceberg’ scandal involving the FBI investigating misuse of a trust fund but that’s too goo to be true. More likely she really thinks she can take on Mittens and is going to tour the country ‘talkin’ to real folks’ and at least end up with a talk show gig. Plus now’s a good time to bail out as governor since the state’s finances will only go downhill.

  34. Seems Sarah’s going full Britney Spears crazy now.

    I’m guessing this will end with someone getting their head shaved and Jonah Goldberg crying with mascara running down his face on Youtube shrieking hysterically “WHY DON’T YOU ALL JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!11!!!!”

  35. oh Sarah I love the curves of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of night’s light. Despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your screeching retarded voice, your body, the touch of your tattooed lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul.

    You have not brought complication or are not bringing complication to my life, on the contrary you’ve fullfiled (sic) me with happiness and made me aware how you can feel when you love somebody.

    Suds xxxooo

  36. [re=353990]Min[/re]: It’s from all the N-Hemi midnight sun – she’s been staring at it for “inspiration” since June 21, and this is the perfectly valid and well-reasoned policy positions she’s reached – PALIN 2012!!!1!!

  37. Here’s one commenter’s reaction, STRAIT FROM THE HEART: “okay, i’ve been following her since Dec. this is too much. my parents don’t understand AT ALL. i skipped going out for ice cream because i’m so sick-feeling…
    i know praying works, but still not feeling better…” :(

    And another:
    “I am never walking away from this woman. Wherever she goes. Whatever she does.

    Sarah knows what she is doing. I agree with KentonAK – it is her Independence Day.”(1!!11!!!!)

  38. Somebody get her travel records and find out how many times she has been to Argentina?

    Or is it she who was balling with A-Rod during the Seventh Inning stretch?

    Still, since Conservatives like Limbaugh have had fun with Pat Schroeder’s tearful stepping down, imagine how much fun can be had with Palin’s “You are all mean, and I’m taking my snow machine and going home.” Both Lilly Tomlin and Tina Fey should thank their lucky stars.

    Still, I’m sure that Sean Hannity and Greta Van Sustren are somewhere weeping. Hell, the local station that plays Hannity has been in silence here in Seattle, I assume in morning for the lost of Bible Spice.

    [re=353942]Min[/re]: Preferably headless turkeys….

  39. One commenter at had this observation: Does anyone else catch the TREMENDOUS SYMBOLISM of this announcement on JULY 3RD???
    (The day before INDEPENDENCE DAY!)

    **********Sarah does!******

    and another:

    That only breeds drama….could it be that she’s sick of the pettiness and is ready to move on?

    Would that brand her as a quitter? That’s why I think it has to do with something else…..

    and another:
    we need to pray.

  40. [re=354024]I Am Not Your Gary Busey[/re]: I’m only sorry he died before he got to learn of her resignation. He would have cracked a knowing sardonic sad sack smile over that one, you betcha.

  41. Random FREEPer quote…

    “If it wasn’t for the tea parties, I’m not sure I could get out of bed tomorrow.”


  42. ADD Sarah, ADD. and megalomania. she thinks she is way more popular than she could ever possibly become. She thinks she could beat Obama in either a basketball game or a national election, I forget which one.

  43. People think that was the ducks shrieking in the background when she mentioned her kids, but it was just wolves getting shot from a plane.

  44. [re=354091]mrbunk[/re]: I think it is really shameful that Palin has booked the Staple Center the very next day for the funeral of her political viability.

  45. “I thought about how much fun some governors have as lame ducks travel around the state, to the Lower 48 (maybe), overseas on international trade”

  46. The easy path, like appeasement, is way underrated. That’s why nobody drives Rt. 1 all the way from Maine to Florida anymore. And appeasement is a natural and successful evolutionary response to making problems go away. It works 90% of the time.

  47. the poor thing! she bought the “anyone can be president” dream without understanding that the unqualified can only become prez if they’re connected , former actors, or owners of sport franchises. all the winking in the world won’t save her sorry ass now. i pity her poor children. “The world needs more Trigs.” In a world filled with Trigs she COULD be president.

  48. [re=353915]bonghitsforjesus[/re]: We called for reinforcements from the friends that we had known
    But this was the Republican Party, so we were on our own

    (NMA 4TW)

  49. There are strange things done in the midnight
    By the men who moil for gold;
    The Arctic trails have their secret tales
    That would make your blood run cold;
    The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
    But the queerest they ever did see
    Was one week past the death of the Thrilla
    Somewhere on the shore of Lake Wasilla
    When I watched through brimming eyes the untimely demise
    Of Caribou Barbie.

  50. Here’s the deal. I’m the anon who posted recently about the various media evidence of Sarah’s “dalliances” – in her early pageant contestant/seeking a journalism job days as well as video evidence of her affair while married to Todd. This was always in the hands of BOTH parties and I couldn’t figure out why it was being kept quiet.
    For all you who do not patronize anti-Palin bogs, in this case,, here’s a comment:

    The whispers I’m getting as someone who knows people MUCH more connected to the inner circle of decision makers surrounding everything the Repubnicans do (and no, I’m not fond of them after the stuff I’ve seen) – is that after the Sanford scandal the Repubs are cutting their losses. They worry that the media/sex stuff will come out soon on Sarah if they don’t take her off the playing field for a while, and because she’s such an evangelical/right wing heroine, again it’s going to make them look VERY bad. (Family values party is already taking a major beating.)

    Karl Rove has been schooling Sarah quietly all along. Hence teaching her hate speech, how to always attack the other guy, etc. etc. instead of what sane politicians do which is to work for unity, functionality, etc. All the divisiveness that Karl is famous for.

    Problem is, Sarah isn’t a very good pupil. She’s too rogue, too nuts to be useful in the political arena anymore. And with various media icebergs about to potentially hit, (she’s been blackmailed about this stuff for a while I’m told, hence the extreme weight loss, etc.) they need her to pull the old “I’m resigning to spend more time with my family” speech (code: I’m resigning before a new scandal destroys my career.)

    She’s been promised that if she’s a good girl all that bad media info will magically “go away” (deals being quietly made in the background to make it disappear.) And she will get about two years of schooling and then be allowed to be a talking head at one of the right wing news organizations, possibly radio, possibly TV if she comes along really well and can get over her word salad problem. And she’ll make a helluva lot more money that way, anyway, plus she can rant about the family values stuff she’s so fond of since apparently her “people” are going to be directly responsible for the next coming of Jesus, etc. It’s very useful to have someone like her work as a paid propogandist. She was never really cut out for political office but will reinvent herself as a media talking head and also make up to $25,000 a speech on the speaker’s circuit. That’s what they’ll have her do first – lots of small speaking engagements out of the major cities to get her training, gradually working up to the big venues if she can handle it.

    Right now her handlers aren’t sure if she’s up for any of it, but they are making promises to her that if she goes along with their agenda she will resurface and resurrect herself within two years as an important “voice” for that segment of the party that loves the conservative hristian, right wing, point of view.

    The interesting thing is this – the Democrats have full knowledge of the media material that is so damaging on her. They’ve been holding onto it for a year or so. I’ve never been sure why they never leaked it. So will they wait until she establishes herself as a conservative Faux family values talking head, give her a year or so, and THEN leak the stuff? Or are the Repugs going to be able to make a deal and get them ot back off? I’m not sure what their strategy is but my intel says that at this point they are not going forward with leaking the material – unfortunately!

  51. [re=354192]Witsendnj[/re]: The shorts porn in Runner’s World can’t have helped matters.Sarah Palin has set women back about a hundred years. Really I’m having a sad thinking about the damage she’s done.
    Also. Where is Mr.Huckabee on all this Conservative bumping and grinding and line crossing?

  52. She’s gone rogue again.
    She Thinks: She can mobilize her base and impact election results in the mid term if she’s not tied to that giant time sump we call the State of Alaska. Her goal is to get enough “real conservatives” into office to tie up the Democratic policy agenda and then run as “the woman who stopped Barak Obama”.
    The reality of the situation is that the “Club for Growth” conservatives she’s likely to support can win Republican primaries, but nobody else is likely to vote for them because we all know what a Libertarian paradise Somalia is.
    So the over/under (I think) is her political career is over but as a traveling comedy troupe, the Palins will be entertaining us at least until November of next year.

  53. [re=354263]dijetlo[/re]: You are very wise for someone who has not yet lived a complete human lifetime. Now, I must go up to my watchtower and listen to the beautiful music the children of night, whom this evil woman wishes to murder, make here, beyond the Burgos Pass.

  54. I for one blame the blogosphere in general and Wonkette in particular for making her life the Living Hell she had earned.

    Good job showing the WaPo what real journalism looks like. You betcha!

  55. [re=354178]doloras[/re]: Don’t even get me started quoting “Stupid Questions”! (ps xoxo for getting the reference!)

  56. [re=353910]Bearbloke[/re]: you mean this page?

    Today was without a doubt the darkest day for principled conservative since Marxist Obama was elected President. As you have probably heard, Gov. Sanford held a press conference declaring he had been unfaithful to his wife. I am unbelievably disappointed with Sanford betrayal of moral conservatives. He was conservative’s last best hope for defeating Obama–someone who opposed all the bailouts and was always very conservative on social issues and national security policy as well.

    Due to Sanford’s admitted adultery, I am going to have to disband my Sanford for President group on Facebook. At this point, I am not in the least bit excited about any of the candidates and I do not plan to support either bailout supporters Romney or Palin in the primary. They are part of the problem in supporting America’s descent into national socialism. Gov. Huckabee opposed the bailout and is probably the next best conservative in the running, but he is considered by some to be a religious bigot.

    I am hoping that someone new throws their hat into the ring. I guess big-time bailout opponent South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint might be my second choice.

  57. [re=354485]President Beeblebrox[/re]:

    “This decision has been in the works for a while. It comes after a great deal of prayer and deliberation.”

    If she has been talking this over with God, then that’s all I need to know. If that’s what the Lord wants, then that’s the way it should be. God bless Sarah and her family. God bless America!
    25 posted on Friday, July 03, 2009 3:33:04 PM by Faith


  58. There is an iceberg coming, but thanks to that last solicitation, Lady Sarah’s PAC coughed up enough money to pay for a IV drip and a two year supply of dripovan.

    Those nasty Libruls can still kick Bible Spice around, but she is now even better insulated than mere psychopathic egocentricity could ever achieve on its own.

  59. Palin suffers from “Blues Brothers Complex”.

    She thinks she’s on a mission from God. Therefore she is not beholden to the mundanities of her gubernatorial obligations.

    Palin claims that she left office before finishing her first term because she desires to “serve a higher calling” (what ever that might be). Basically, this is Palin-spin for “my current job has become a ball-and-chain holding me back from pursuing my personal ambitions and my desires to attain greater wealth and political clout in the lower 48”.

    Palin needs to learn that if you wish to take full credit for your own successes, then you must accept full responsibility for your own failures and shortcomings.

  60. If her objective was a 2012 run for POTUS, Palin would have been better off finishing her term as governor and simply announcing that she would not re-run for office.

    To quit after 2 1/2 years in her first term as governor suggests a person who cannot multitask, handle the pressures that come with the job (working with the legislature, dealing with the press, etc), and someone who is more interesting in being in the spotlight and waving to the crowds than she is in being a serious political force.

    Palin, and now her spin doctor Meg Stapleton, keeps using this silly metaphor about being a point guard and passing the ball to another player while driving down the court.

    Well, if she really wants to use this analogy accurately, she has essentially pulled herself out of the game because the defensive pressure was too intense for her to handle.

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