• May 26, 2012
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July 3, 2009

America’s Car Wizard Drives A Japanese Car

by Sara K. Smith  

Now THIS is the sort of ride befitting a Car Czar.OH SCANDAL this youngling Brian Deese, a 14-year-old hired by the president to reform the auto industry — the American auto industry, that is — does not even drive an American car. Instead he drives a two-door Honda Civic hatchback with a shitty paint job, referred to informally as the “Pussy Wagon.” On this day before the most patriotic day of the year, it is fair to ask the question: does Deese understand how completely insane Japanese people are? [The Sleuth]

{ 24 comments }

cynbot July 3, 2009 at 11:09 am

If this were Detroit in the ’80s, that shit would have been keyed long ago. Or was Deese conceived at a key party in Detroit in the ’80s? I’ve confused myself now….

nappyduggs July 3, 2009 at 11:29 am

Have his testicles even descended yet? That’s totally his older sister’s car that he’s driving. And what’s that mean name they’re calling him? Jar Jar? I fear what’s gonna happen next is they’re gonna find him in a warehouse somewheres hanging from some moving apparatus by his tighty-whiteys.

Canmon (the Inadequate) July 3, 2009 at 11:31 am

Hondas are made in Alabama (AKA Real America). GM cars are made in elitist Detroit or communist Canada.

Potater July 3, 2009 at 11:50 am

Shame, Wonkette, there are children reading.

You refer to the vehicle as the “Party Wagon,” thank you very much.

canadians for pussy July 3, 2009 at 11:54 am

I thought alabama was full of Fucktards.

Happy Birthday America.

katrina July 3, 2009 at 12:03 pm

My Honda Civic is the most dependable relationship I’ve ever had.
And it gets 55 mpg, so suck it, opec.

rereridiculous July 3, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Meh. Call me when he’s doing a Japanese whore.

Min July 3, 2009 at 12:07 pm

A Big Wheel would be more appropriate, but they’re not made in America, either.

gjdodger July 3, 2009 at 12:22 pm

It was that or buy a Mercedes, and Dr. Z is really batshit.

jetjaguar July 3, 2009 at 12:33 pm

I would trade my 11 year old POS Taurus for his 11 year old Civic in a heartbeat. I hate my fucking car.

lochnessmonster July 3, 2009 at 12:46 pm

He’s just doing research for GM when driving that car.

Elm Hugger July 3, 2009 at 12:55 pm

HA! I drive a civic too, only mine was made in Ohio. So cool! I am going to get some tail tonight!

cheeto_jeebus July 3, 2009 at 12:57 pm

That’s not just any civic, that’s a Robo-Geisha transformer Civic!

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 3, 2009 at 1:19 pm

I fully expected the alt text to include the phrase “Straight Talk Express”

bago July 3, 2009 at 1:23 pm

Any excuse to link the RoboGeisha trailer, eh?

Monsieur Grumpe July 3, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Sweet ride. Just add some Ron Paul bumper stickers, a couple of fake bullet holes and some hydraulics and you are styling.

schvitzatura July 3, 2009 at 1:36 pm

Obama has his very own Gen-Y neckbeard, to counter Ross Douthat. Brian Deese”Nuts” Autowünderkind!

Recommended movie viewing? Ron Howard’s Gung Ho!

Bri, is a frog’s ass watertight? Yes, he believes it is.

SayItWithWookies July 3, 2009 at 1:38 pm

The Times quoted Deese as saying, “I slept in the parking lot of the G. M. plant in Lordstown, Ohio.”

Damn — anybody who spent the night in a Honda parked in a GM plant he was going to shut down must have brass balls. Or no sense whatsoever.

madtowngooner July 3, 2009 at 1:48 pm

RoboGeisha Murkin version starring Ann Coulter

bitchincamaro July 3, 2009 at 2:02 pm

I’d be willing to lend-lease this American beauty to the traitor, cuz nothin’ says “not for hire” like a racing stripe and a “caution” gumball.

http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm114/bitchincamaro222/IMG_myrig4198.jpg

Vanity Smurf July 3, 2009 at 2:14 pm

[re=353835]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m going to go with no sense whatsoever. He’s too young to remember people being assaulted for driving a decent car in the rust belt.

Shouldn’t he be driving his mother’s old SAAB anyway? I mean, what’s the point of failed American car companies owning failed European car companies if political folks can’t use it as an excuse to drive a decent vehicle for once in their lives. Although Ford did ruin even that concept when it turned Jaguars into Lincoln Continentals — the whole point was to be able to drive a car that at least looked better.

Loyal union-busting US Americans drive South (North?) Carolina built BMWs. Stay away from those Alabama Benz’s — the C in C Class is for Crappy.

bluetom00 July 3, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Perhaps if this terrible vagina did proper “sleuthing” she would know that every fucking Honda Civic sold east of the Mississippi in the last 20 years was made in central Ohio by those terrible Mexicans stealing all our jobs called “Ohioans.” Fuck them.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 3, 2009 at 3:45 pm

Well at least his taste in porn is probably interesting, or at least filled with big eye girls and tentacles.

lawrenceofthedesert July 3, 2009 at 3:46 pm

It’s cool that he isn’t in a Beamer or a Suburban like a 31 year-old Republican would be. The wagon link is rather specious, however; the term “pussy wagon” goes back decades before “Kill Bill.”

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