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America’s Car Wizard Drives A Japanese Car

Now THIS is the sort of ride befitting a Car Czar.OH SCANDAL this youngling Brian Deese, a 14-year-old hired by the president to reform the auto industry — the American auto industry, that is — does not even drive an American car. Instead he drives a two-door Honda Civic hatchback with a shitty paint job, referred to informally as the “Pussy Wagon.” On this day before the most patriotic day of the year, it is fair to ask the question: does Deese understand how completely insane Japanese people are? [The Sleuth]


11:04 AM on Fri July 3 2009
By Sara K. Smith
1329 Views

  1. cynbot says at 11:09 am, July 3rd, 2009

    If this were Detroit in the ’80s, that shit would have been keyed long ago. Or was Deese conceived at a key party in Detroit in the ’80s? I’ve confused myself now….

  2. nappyduggs says at 11:29 am, July 3rd, 2009

    Have his testicles even descended yet? That’s totally his older sister’s car that he’s driving. And what’s that mean name they’re calling him? Jar Jar? I fear what’s gonna happen next is they’re gonna find him in a warehouse somewheres hanging from some moving apparatus by his tighty-whiteys.

  3. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 11:31 am, July 3rd, 2009

    Hondas are made in Alabama (AKA Real America). GM cars are made in elitist Detroit or communist Canada.

  4. Potater says at 11:50 am, July 3rd, 2009

    Shame, Wonkette, there are children reading.

    You refer to the vehicle as the “Party Wagon,” thank you very much.

  5. canadians for pussy says at 11:54 am, July 3rd, 2009

    I thought alabama was full of Fucktards.

    Happy Birthday America.

  6. katrina says at 12:03 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    My Honda Civic is the most dependable relationship I’ve ever had.
    And it gets 55 mpg, so suck it, opec.

  7. rereridiculous says at 12:05 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    Meh. Call me when he’s doing a Japanese whore.

  8. A Big Wheel would be more appropriate, but they’re not made in America, either.

  9. gjdodger says at 12:22 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    It was that or buy a Mercedes, and Dr. Z is really batshit.

  10. jetjaguar says at 12:33 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    I would trade my 11 year old POS Taurus for his 11 year old Civic in a heartbeat. I hate my fucking car.

  11. lochnessmonster says at 12:46 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    He’s just doing research for GM when driving that car.

  12. Elm Hugger says at 12:55 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    HA! I drive a civic too, only mine was made in Ohio. So cool! I am going to get some tail tonight!

  13. cheeto_jeebus says at 12:57 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    That’s not just any civic, that’s a Robo-Geisha transformer Civic!

  14. Rev. Peter Lemonjello says at 1:19 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    I fully expected the alt text to include the phrase “Straight Talk Express”

  15. Any excuse to link the RoboGeisha trailer, eh?

  16. Monsieur Grumpe says at 1:33 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    Sweet ride. Just add some Ron Paul bumper stickers, a couple of fake bullet holes and some hydraulics and you are styling.

  17. schvitzatura says at 1:36 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    Obama has his very own Gen-Y neckbeard, to counter Ross Douthat. Brian Deese”Nuts” Autowünderkind!

    Recommended movie viewing? Ron Howard’s Gung Ho!

    Bri, is a frog’s ass watertight? Yes, he believes it is.

  18. SayItWithWookies says at 1:38 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    The Times quoted Deese as saying, “I slept in the parking lot of the G. M. plant in Lordstown, Ohio.”

    Damn — anybody who spent the night in a Honda parked in a GM plant he was going to shut down must have brass balls. Or no sense whatsoever.

  19. madtowngooner says at 1:48 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    RoboGeisha Murkin version starring Ann Coulter

  20. bitchincamaro says at 2:02 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    I’d be willing to lend-lease this American beauty to the traitor, cuz nothin’ says “not for hire” like a racing stripe and a “caution” gumball.

    http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm114/bitchincamaro222/IMG_myrig4198.jpg

  21. Vanity Smurf says at 2:14 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: I’m going to go with no sense whatsoever. He’s too young to remember people being assaulted for driving a decent car in the rust belt.

    Shouldn’t he be driving his mother’s old SAAB anyway? I mean, what’s the point of failed American car companies owning failed European car companies if political folks can’t use it as an excuse to drive a decent vehicle for once in their lives. Although Ford did ruin even that concept when it turned Jaguars into Lincoln Continentals — the whole point was to be able to drive a car that at least looked better.

    Loyal union-busting US Americans drive South (North?) Carolina built BMWs. Stay away from those Alabama Benz’s — the C in C Class is for Crappy.

  22. bluetom00 says at 3:30 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    Perhaps if this terrible vagina did proper “sleuthing” she would know that every fucking Honda Civic sold east of the Mississippi in the last 20 years was made in central Ohio by those terrible Mexicans stealing all our jobs called “Ohioans.” Fuck them.

  23. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 3:45 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    Well at least his taste in porn is probably interesting, or at least filled with big eye girls and tentacles.

  24. lawrenceofthedesert says at 3:46 pm, July 3rd, 2009

    It’s cool that he isn’t in a Beamer or a Suburban like a 31 year-old Republican would be. The wagon link is rather specious, however; the term “pussy wagon” goes back decades before “Kill Bill.”

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