ANALS OF JUSTICE  9:45 am July 3, 2009

Cow Porn Judge Officially Admonished

by Sara K. Smith

This image is so very dirty.Ha ha ha we randomly clicked on this LA Times headline thinking, “Alex Kozinski, isn’t she that rich NYT gal with the plastic surgery and the surrogates?” But no, duh, the name should ring a bell because Alex Kozinski is the infamous cow porn judge who shocked America last June with revelations that he kept pubic-hair shaving instructionals and other naughty photos, such as naked ladies painted like cows, on some (whoops!) publicly accessible Web page.

Well, a panel of federal judges finally got around to admonishing him, a year later, for being such an El Grosso. He still gets to keep his job as the Chief Judge of the 9th Circuit and everything, though.

Poor Judge Kozinski! Let this be a lesson to you: If you connect your private home server to the Internet, do not keep your very mildly titillating photo collection in a folder marked “/stuff,” which is accessible to anyone who knows to type in that extension. Otherwise you will be humiliated, and some gal named “Sonia Sotomayor” will get that Supreme Court nomination you’ve been waiting for.

Alex Kozinski admonished for raunchy Internet files [Los Angeles Times]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 21 comments }

rereridiculous July 3, 2009 at 9:54 am

I believe that owning cow porn is a prerequisite for being on the Japanese supreme court.

Canmon (the Inadequate) July 3, 2009 at 9:54 am

Something tells me he might enjoy a good admonishing.

Naked Bunny with a Whip July 3, 2009 at 9:55 am

Are you technically naked if you’re wearing cow-like paint?

It’s very important I find out before tomorrow. Er, for a hypothetical reason.

norbizness July 3, 2009 at 10:07 am

It’s like the Chick-Fil-A bovines say: FUK MOR CHIKIN

ivenson July 3, 2009 at 10:09 am

Stuff…no one will suspect…..

memzilla July 3, 2009 at 10:29 am

So, now we know how the old Carnation Evaporated Milk slogan, “made from contented cows,” has mutated: http://www.adclassix.com/a4/56carnationevaporatedmilk.html

Of course, one must never do *this* with one’s meatloaf [NSFW]: http://www.cakefarts.com/meatloaf

snarkistani refugee July 3, 2009 at 10:50 am

Were they butter cows?

Vermonster July 3, 2009 at 11:01 am

Nice teats! Big, full udders…mmm, milk!

WhatTheHeck July 3, 2009 at 11:11 am

Did anyone check to see what Victoria’s Secret he was hiding under his robes.
Probably some briefs he was most comfortable with.

Lascauxcaveman July 3, 2009 at 11:52 am

“Cow Porn Judge.” When I read that phrase, I instantly thought of someone selected to assess the relative merits of competing entries in bovine pornography contests at, say, county fairs or stock shows or somesuch.

Does this mean I’ve been reading Wonkette too long, or not long enough?

ALIVE! July 3, 2009 at 11:57 am

[re=353812]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Ooooh. I didn’t understand anything about this posting until reading your comment. So it’s not being a judge in a cow porn contest?

sabocat July 3, 2009 at 12:08 pm

I’ve met this guy and can confirm that he is an El Grosso.

Min July 3, 2009 at 12:10 pm

What did they admonish him for? Having bad taste in porn? Because it doesn’t sound like any of that stuff was illegal or even necessarily immoral. The federal judiciary needs to pull that collective stick out of its ass.

Neilist July 3, 2009 at 12:33 pm

I find it udderly appalling that this popped a bone of contention in His Honor’s briefs.

Oldskool July 3, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Cows going into porn. Times are worse than I thought.

Paul Tardy July 3, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Hey Wonkette, you should have listened to me and gone to Anthrocon 2009, get this Furries + Mets.

Reactionary baseball reporter freaks out: Via Twitter, Mets reporter Kevin Burkhardt said, “Our hotel in Pitt is overrun by people dressed up as animals. Anthrocon? And they act as animals. I have seen it all and I am freaked out. I just took a picture with a person who was dressed like Ralph Wigam as a Beaver.”

Furry is the 21st century equivalent of Gay last century: “Mr. Caru said he was once fired from a McDonald’s restaurant because management found out he was a furry and misinterpreted it as a sexual fetish.”

It’s Panda-monium, IRL as they say.

You missed your moment Wonkette.

JooJoo Bee July 3, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=353827]Oldskool[/re]: I blame all the media hype about E. coli.

BlueStateLibtard July 3, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=353827]Oldskool[/re]: It’s not unusual for cows to get into the corn.

Trace July 3, 2009 at 4:34 pm

I love it when weird porn shows up in the news and I think “Hey, I know exactly what porn they’re talking about.”

I should run for judge or whatever. However you become a judge.

Oldskool July 3, 2009 at 4:45 pm

[re=353869]JooJoo Bee[/re]: [re=353871]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: I blame Preznit Bush. You know he’s ‘hard’ on his cattle. And they were prolly tired of being bossed around by a horses ass.

lawrenceofthedesert July 3, 2009 at 9:44 pm

Judging cow porn is so very contradictory, in that what the bovines find erotic often fails to cross over to the human id, and vice versa. The judge has to wonder what both really mean by “gore your ox.”

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