• May 26, 2012
DAILY BRIEFING

July 3, 2009

Happy Pre-Independence Day!

by Sara K. Smith  

  • Profound economy-related insight: continued widespread unemployment is bad because “people without jobs tend not to spend much money.” [Washington Post]
  • Iran plans to try some local British embassy staff for fomenting unrest. Thank goodness the US doesn’t have any embassies in Iran! [New York Times]
  • The thug who replaced the other thug in Honduras said he’d be willing to hold elections soon, so as to appear less thuggish. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Senators are hard at work trying to figure out how to make future health care reform most closely resemble our current situation, so as to “control costs.” [Wall Street Journal]
  • A rare copy of the Declaration of Independence turned up in the British National Archives, answering definitively the question of whether the British had ever “gotten the memo.” [AP]
  • Sorry your bazillion-dollar new iPhone 3GS turns into a slab of molten lava when you try to use Wi-Fi during phone calls! CNET]

{ 23 comments }

hockeymom July 3, 2009 at 8:56 am

Intriguing.
I think it might be time that somebody in government looks into this “jobs” and “economy” thing.
It sounds like it could become a problem at some point.

Mahousu July 3, 2009 at 8:56 am

The rare copy of the American Declaration of Independence has been found hidden in a file at the British National Archives.
Irony alert – it was hidden inside some 18th-century porn.

BlueStateLibtard July 3, 2009 at 9:07 am

Unemployed: Extra $25 per week in government aid.
Goldman Sachs employees: $20 billion in taxpayer-funded bonuses for 2009. Avg. salary: $700,000.
Happy 4th!

rereridiculous July 3, 2009 at 9:21 am

I disagree with the Post on this one. Although people are spending less, since they’re unemployed they spend a larger percent of their income. This relative percent means that there is growth in the economy. Also.

ladymacbeth July 3, 2009 at 9:28 am

happy day before ‘hatin on britain’ day.

ManchuCandidate July 3, 2009 at 9:43 am

[re=353771]BlueStateLibtard[/re]:
I still have my pitchfork from Sept. Matt Taibbi’s article was interesting if not scary.

dijetlo July 3, 2009 at 9:49 am

the Limey Declaration of Independence is a forgery, just like Nobamas berf certificate!!!!!!
Lookey!!!

Who duh fuk is John Hancock (hmmm…Handcock…sounds like an early Republican) and why does it say “Preznit” after his name? Hengh? We all know our first co-presidents were Ronald Reagan and Jeebus, who is this jerk off artist usurping all the glory????
We need to bomb them pasty white bastards and I mean RIGHT NOW. I understand they all live on some kind of socialist welfare island so it should be relatively easy. They have a queen so they’ll greet us as liberators, honestly, it will be a slam dunk.

contentsunderpressure July 3, 2009 at 9:51 am

The thug who replaced the other thug in Honduras said he’d be willing to hold elections soon, so as to appear less thuggish.

Will that tat fit on a six pack?

Thug Life
For The Thuggish

Come here a minute July 3, 2009 at 9:54 am

“The economy is in the process of bottoming, but that’s different from saying it’s recovering.”

Admit it, Editor SKS, this article was included in the Daily Briefing because of a Google Alert for “bottoming”.

hobospacejunkie July 3, 2009 at 10:03 am

Just woke up & now wish to visit violence upon the person of any goldman sachs exec. Before heading out to the Austin Tea Party. Look for me, I’ll be wearing a pink baseball hat with the letter A on it.

the lady MS. Sheila Dixon July 3, 2009 at 10:22 am

also . do not store iphone in bra while taking brisk walk..also

RoscoePColtraine July 3, 2009 at 10:26 am

Where did our Founding Fathers plug in their duplication machines?

Johnny Zhivago July 3, 2009 at 10:33 am

Tip:

I’ve found a good use for an overheated iPhone is to immediately dunk the whole thing into my coffee. It quickly brings the cup to a boil and when it’s done the phone is ready to use again.

Johnny Zhivago July 3, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=353793]the lady MS. Sheila Dixon[/re]: It’s not recommended to talk while chewing gum either.

FlownOver July 3, 2009 at 10:35 am

“People without jobs tend not to spend much money.”

Or attend many “salons.” Either.

steverino247 July 3, 2009 at 11:13 am

Pitchforks? Are you kidding? Around here, people would send their Mexican gardeners and maids to the street protest while they sat around the patio and bitched about high taxes.

the lady MS. Sheila Dixon July 3, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=353799]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: nor eating. please inform my clueless co-worker

Min July 3, 2009 at 12:13 pm

definitively the question of whether the British had ever “gotten the memo.”

If only we could say the same about the Republicans.

El Pinche July 3, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Barack Obama Joins Hall of Presidents at Disney’s Magic Kingdom!!

This is packed with snarky treasures and TelePrompTer jokes beyond your wildest imagination!!

bitchincamaro July 3, 2009 at 2:25 pm

[re=353800]FlownOver[/re]: Katherine Weymouth has invited you and me to dinner at her place to discuss this whole jobless recovery thing with Tim and Larry. She’s agreed to waive the $ 25K “donation” if we agree to bring the hobo beans.

GreenHalo July 3, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Oh noes, Apple hardware overheats during normal use! Good thing this has never happened before. FAIL.

“Do not expose your LaserWriter to fire or open flame.” Best tech manual ever; profound ancient wisdom like a Mayan calendar and shit.

BlueStateLibtard July 3, 2009 at 3:23 pm

[re=353775]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Matt Taibbi’s article’s should be required reading. I wonder what his odds are of surviving the weekend?

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 3, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Proof that it is an original Declaration of Independence: It still has the stains from where King George wiped his ass on it.

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