Cat Finally Gets Mark Sanford's Tongue
Now that we don't have to worry about Iraq anymore, we can start worrying about Afghanistan instead, where a "major operation" was just launched. [ CNN ]
Soon California won't be able to pay its bills and it will start issuing IOUs scratched out on bits of scrap paper as "currency." [ AP ]
Several of Michele Bachmann's fellow Republicans have urged her to fill out her census form completely, so that the administrators of ACORN-run internment camps can track her down without wasting taxpayer dollars on a private investigator. [ Washington Post ]
What is the point of living, really, if you can't have Vicodin? [ ABC News ]
The auctioning of Iraqi oil-development rights that went so well the process attracted one whole bidder was indeed a successbecauseit showed the Iraqis weren't going to whore themselves out to foreign oil companies. And that stunning success is why they're going to move up bidding on a bunch of undeveloped or partially developed fields from late this year to "within the next few months." [ Wall Street Journal ]
After days of caterwauling to the press about his forbidden love affair, crybaby blabbermouth Mark Sanford fell suddenly silent as people asked fewer questions about his girlfriend and more about when he was going to resign. [ AP ]