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Well, this is sort of what we all imagined, in our darkest & drunkest moments. Here’s a Fox News show featuring a weird jabbering middle-aged baby with hair plugs on the left side of the screen and some guy who claims to be a Bush Administration-era anti-Bin Laden agent on the right, and, well, they both share a certain dream for America, which involves the nation being horribly attacked by Osama bin Laden’s secret arsenal of nuclear weapons, from Mexico. THAT WILL LEARN US, RIGHT?

The Evildoers within the United States are always plotting against us.

Here’s the “full metal jacket” version:


Hey, July 4th! Awesome time to kill millions of Americans, to teach them a lesson, about voting for a fancy high-yellow, right? TIME TO DIE.

We can either ignore this stuff, or we can embrace it, or we can look at it with compassion and then wonder, “What is up with these people? Why are they so crazy?”

Let’s go with the latter. Let’s first acknowledge that a certain portion of our nation has gone completely bonkers, and these overpaid clowns at Fox News (not you, Shep, we are with you!) are cruelly and deliberately exciting and exploiting the people who suffer the most when economic conditions are bad and the chasm of economic inequality is so deep and dark.

Think of the foreclosures, the abandonment of beloved pets, the lost jobs, the menial part-time jobs, the lack of even basic health insurance, the bills never even opened because who can pay these things, now? Nobody is born racist and mean. These are the crops from lousy seeds.

But, still, jesus fucking christ on a segway, we do not need FOX NEWS trying to excite the doomed with dreams of Osama bin Laden nuking America, on July 4th, to teach, uhm, Barack Obama a lesson.

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