HAVE SOME DIGNITY MAN  3:12 pm June 30, 2009

Sanford Talks Of ‘Soul Mate,’ Other Ladies In Most Embarrassing Interview Yet

by Sara K. Smith

His life is like a trashy romance novel, only trashier.When Governor Mark Sanford tearfully admitted last week that he had an affair with some gal who he actually liked a lot, many people wrote approvingly of his candor, and the fact that he didn’t say “Meh, I was just boning some slutty slut, it meant nothing.” He had feelings and things, and maybe a decent amount of respect for his mistress! But now we learn that all of his “dear, dear friend” claptrap was just a precursor to a torrent of undignified, cruelly narcissistic oversharing.

This is not something a mature adult in charge of running a state says to a reporter.

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he’s trying to fall back in love with his wife.

“Soul mate,” really? Who is this fucking guy, Anne of Green Gables? And:

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford says he “crossed lines” with a handful of women other than his mistress — but never had sex with them.

The governor says he “never crossed the ultimate line” with anyone but Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentine at the center of a scandal that has derailed Sanford’s once-promising political career.

So what are we talking about here, exactly? Finger banging? Anal? Governor Sanford will have to hold another horrifying interview to illuminate this very important question.

SC governor says he ‘crossed lines’ with women other than mistress [AP/TPM]

 
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{ 122 comments }

somethinstinks June 30, 2009 at 3:14 pm

“I did not have sex with THOSE women!”

paintitblack June 30, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Ah, waiddaminute there, gov’ner. I remember when Bubba Bill said he hadn’t “crossed any lines” w/ the Lady in a Blue Dress. So just ‘zactly WHAT is your definition of “crossing the line”?

Me smells me some conservative hypocracy… and lying.

And yes: soul mate? But heaven forfend that it is not: sooouuulll train!

InsidiousTuna June 30, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Fursuits are back on the table.

somethinstinks June 30, 2009 at 3:17 pm

“Also, I’m tryin’ to love my wife. Even though. I don’t. Right now.”

magic titty June 30, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Just the tip.

Extemporanus June 30, 2009 at 3:17 pm

The “ultimate line” is the equator, and the only reason he didn’t cross it with the handful (ahem) of other women is because his wife wouldn’t give him the latitude.

StripesAndPlaids June 30, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Maybe he is going with a Jimmy Carter thing. You know, lusting in his heart the same as busting in the sack. I always took Sanford as a closet liberal.

BillyClubb June 30, 2009 at 3:18 pm

So what are we talking about here, exactly? Finger banging? Anal?

Urk, my stomach… Gonna puke… Stop the reporting on this subject Now!

SayItWithWookies June 30, 2009 at 3:18 pm

As Peggy Noonan might say, it’s so noble of him to have such high ideals that he can’t live up to them. Multiple times. With multiple women. In the ass.

humble pinko June 30, 2009 at 3:19 pm

“That depends on what your definition of ‘Argentina’ is”.

paintitblack June 30, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=351581]somethinstinks[/re]: Yeah, what is UP with THAT? If I was his wife, I’d be like: don’t bother, dude. Stick a fork in it cuz you’re DONE!

le petit mort June 30, 2009 at 3:21 pm

“crossed lines” = ass play

Monsieur Grumpe June 30, 2009 at 3:21 pm

“Crossed tan lines”
Fixed.

SeminoleInDior June 30, 2009 at 3:22 pm

I knew Sanford was the lyingest lying sack of shit that ever lied or lived! Gopherit and I called numerous skanks in Sanford’s past. Where is our prize? We need something highly prized…perhaps Chapur’s highly-coveted panties for the gentleman and an opportunity to slap Sanford in the face with leather gloves for the lady?

Prommie June 30, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Great minds think alike, Sarah.

lmj June 30, 2009 at 3:22 pm

What I like about this scandal is that it shows how we are all equally held to account in this country. Our overlords must obey the rules just like we serfs do.

I mean, the last time I skipped out on work, with no notice, for five days to shack up with my glam illicit love interest in a distant luxe foreign tourist trap, using some money I took from work, my boss was cool with it because I was earnestly soooooooo in wuv. With all four of them! It was so touching.

The rich and poor in this country have the equal right to boff away in exclusive hideaways with hot foreign illicit love interests. And that is what makes this country great.

Failed 2 Menace June 30, 2009 at 3:22 pm

He only crossed the ULTIMATE line with a woman whose name is an anagram for BEAU NAIL, RAM PERCH.

Perch being a fish, y’see.

Suds McKenzie June 30, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Is he in “Nailin Pailin II”?

SlouchingTowardsWasilla June 30, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Here’s a little tip Mark – maybe the best way to get back together with your wife is not to provide every lurid detail of how you love some other woman and how much of a struggle it would be for you to get an erection with your wife. Think about it.

nbawriter June 30, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Sigh … Ok, I guess some people need it all defined in clear terms.

Soul mate = Took pop shots wherever I desired.

Never crossed the ultimate line = Would not serve as my cum dumpster.

Trying to fall back in love with my wife = She has to offer the poop chute; otherwise I remain bored with her.

dham June 30, 2009 at 3:23 pm

This ultimate line must be the alleged Underwear Zone we heard so much about not-crossing in middle school sex-ed.

S.Luggo June 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm

— COLUMBIA, S.C. — South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford says he “crossed lines” with a handful of women other than his mistress — but never had really, really, really, really, really satisfying sex with them. —

51dimes June 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm

He personally did not cross the line with those women. It was a relay, and he just “passed the batton”.

Can O Whoopass June 30, 2009 at 3:25 pm

What brand of boner pills do these christian studs take?

slithytoves June 30, 2009 at 3:26 pm

I am now more bored with this story than I ever thought I could be. Somebody make me laugh – I have to put my kitty down tomorrow.

TGY June 30, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Doesn’t this all depend on what the definition of ‘is’ is?

ManchuCandidate June 30, 2009 at 3:28 pm

If only Mark had good christian abstinence training when he was a youngster then he wouldn’t have had the urge to stick his dick into the orifices of women for sexual gratification and not the baby making sex was intended to be.

lmj June 30, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Sanford’s soulful presser a few days ago may rank right up there with Cunningham’s tearful remorse at his confessional (about 30 minutes after he tried to hide another $30K of stolen loot).

This is why GOP scandals are so infininitely better than Dem scandals (hiding money in the freezer -pulease!) And the original Big Dawg only had one woman at a time. So ordinary.

This is why the international men and women of mystery in the US press corps like the GOP and hate the tacky Dems. And deservedly so, in my warped and asinine opinion.

PrairiePossum June 30, 2009 at 3:29 pm

What he means to say is he never “hiked the Appalachian Trail” with the other gals.

S.Luggo June 30, 2009 at 3:30 pm

[re=351605]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Jeez. Cut the guy a break.

When a man loves a woman
Can’t keep his mind on nothing else,
including his goddam wife

chascates June 30, 2009 at 3:30 pm

I predict the rise of Christian romance novels.

Bruno June 30, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Without a doubt that line is double anal penetration.

Can O Whoopass June 30, 2009 at 3:31 pm

“I did not have sex with THOSE people!”

CaiteeCruelle June 30, 2009 at 3:31 pm

“In early 2009, after Jenny Sanford discovered the affair, the couple went into counseling. She has told The Associated Press that he asked her several times to visit the mistress and she refused.”

Jenny, if you would only meet her, you’d love her like I do!

TGY June 30, 2009 at 3:31 pm

“I told my wife that if I ever looked at another woman, I would cut off my nose. She said I was aiming too high.”
-Michael Caine, Sweet Liberty

Judas Peckerwood June 30, 2009 at 3:32 pm

I’m laying 2-1 odds this leads to revelations of hawt Gov-on-Lt Gov action. Any takers?

nbawriter June 30, 2009 at 3:32 pm

[re=351617]slithytoves[/re]: Ummmm … even after tomorrow your pussy will have more life in it than Mrs. Sanford’s?
That work?

Prommie June 30, 2009 at 3:33 pm

Ya know, this just means he is completely, totally, deeply lost in the pussy madness, that state of temporary insanity that the world calls “love.” The individual who is completely lost in the throes of a grand mal passion develops a number of predictable grand delusions. They come to believe in reincarnation, that they have lived before in other bodies, that they have “known” the possessor of the madnesss-inducing pussy literally forever. They believe that they have found a lost part of themself, a loss stemming from mystical between-lives time when souls float around together in the ether. But the strangest thing of all is that the deluded fools believe that their “love,” as they call their pussy madness, is something rare and beautiful, precious and valuable, that it improves the state of the world, AND THAT IF ONLY OTHERS COULD SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL, TRUE, NOBLE AND PRECIOUS IT IS, ALL WOULD APPROVE OF IT AND CELEBRATE IT.

This guy is mystified that his wife does not accept, but even embrace, applaud, and encourage, his epic, fantastic, true, fine love for this Argentinian gem. He still thinks that if only she could see how perfect it is, how true, chaste, and innocent it is, in a deeply sexual way, she would be delighted, admiring, glad that she has this connection to the mmiraculous love, as the wife of one of the lovers. And the reporters, too, they would start writing about Sanford as a hero for our times, the possessor of the most miraculous and beautiful Love ever in the history of the universe.

Thats the pussy madness.

Failed 2 Menace June 30, 2009 at 3:33 pm

“During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate”

Zero chance he will be hearing that quote read back to him during a future legal proceeding.

Wet Work June 30, 2009 at 3:34 pm

BJ’s don’t count?

FunkyPalmettoBug June 30, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Who knows what he’ll admit to next. I’m guessing cheesing.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend June 30, 2009 at 3:34 pm

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he’s trying to fall back in love with his wife.

Reconciliation FAIL.

stew June 30, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Jokes aside, this has a pre-emptive strike quality to it. Get ready for more news on this horndog.

Anonymous Office Zombie June 30, 2009 at 3:35 pm

The great thing about Sanford is how bound and determined he is to sink his own ship. No amount of celebrity death infotainment or international crisis coverage is going to knock this narcissistic blabbermouth’s scandal out of the news rotation if he has anything to say about it.

Failed 2 Menace June 30, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=351633]CaiteeCruelle[/re]:
“She has told The Associated Press that he asked her several times to visit the mistress and she refused”

Getting them in the same room is a necessary ingredient for building a threesome.

Mike Steele June 30, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Trying to fall back in love with my wife. That’s like trying to suck your own dick. It’s possible, but pretty unlikely. Maybe if she agrees to call him Papi…

Judas Peckerwood June 30, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=351647]stew[/re]: “Jokes aside,…”

Who do you think you are, mister?

Prommie June 30, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=351651]Mike Steele[/re]: Its possible, but its just not the same.

Extemporanus June 30, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=351603]Suds McKenzie[/re]: No, but he has signed on to play the role of “Luis Alberto Molina” in the Charleston Dinner Theatre’s upcoming production of Kiss of the Spider Woman.

Mike Steele June 30, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=351639]nbawriter[/re]: Hey, that killed. You beat me to saying to slithytoves “Then you have a lot in common with Governor Sparky. He too, has to put the pussy down. He is obviously not as good at it as you.

Seriously though, sorry. It’s never easy. I’m the designated “final trip to the vet” person in my family.

Moleman v2.5 June 30, 2009 at 3:41 pm

So Sanford was hoping for a threesome when he asked his wife to meet the one from Argentina? And he brought a “chaperone” to meet with her after the wife said no? Hmmmm… And now there may have been other women but that HE didn’t have sex with them. Maybe she did?
Or maybe she’s Audrey II and he’s Seymour Krelborn and she ate them? That’s why she has to travel a lot, so nobody misses the bodies!

Cape Clod June 30, 2009 at 3:43 pm

“You’re not my soul mate but I’m trying to fall back in love with you.”

The gentleman certainly knows how to sweep the ladies of their feet, doesn’t he?

Oldskool June 30, 2009 at 3:43 pm

Great, all that’s left for him to do is turn up while I’m cruising pornos.

Come here a minute June 30, 2009 at 3:44 pm

[re=351586]BillyClubb[/re]: You are wrong, this is not the time to stop reporting — the story is just entering true Wonkette territory. A reporting trip trip to Argentina would make for some lovely top-hat photos.

takes12no1 June 30, 2009 at 3:44 pm

I want to know what did Maria see in this shitbag anyway? Methinks that the “soul mate” thing might be more one-sided than someone’s letting on.

Vanity Smurf June 30, 2009 at 3:47 pm

So, who’s been fucking Miss Jenny? Same guy that’s been pounding the Lt. Governor?

saralovesyou June 30, 2009 at 3:48 pm

I wonder if – like the abstinent, Christian youth – Sanford’s idea of sex up until the ultimate line included saddlebacking in addition to hand/blow jobs. It could be a new extension of the word – you can saddleback to preserve your virginity, or the sanctity of your marriage.

S.Luggo June 30, 2009 at 3:48 pm

[re=351640]Prommie[/re]: I read some similar to this in The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam (Fitzgerald translation). In Hustler letters, also.

SayItWithWookies June 30, 2009 at 3:49 pm

[re=351640]Prommie[/re]: That was great. And it highlights another reason that abstinence until marriage is just plain stupid: you get the pussy madness out of your system (or at least you’re more likely to) before you tie the knot. Sanctimonious assholes like Governor Sanford have it for the rest of their lives.

Come here a minute June 30, 2009 at 3:49 pm

[re=351664]Mike Steele[/re]: Sanford tried to put the pussy down earlier this year at a “farewell meeting in New York chaperoned by a spiritual adviser soon after his wife found out about the affair.”

If [re=351617]slithytoves[/re]‘s cat is a soulmate, this may drag on for months.

WadISay June 30, 2009 at 3:51 pm

[re=351605]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: I would find thinking about her bank account somewhat helpful in the “falling back in love” department.

momus June 30, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Isn’t there an old song that goes something like this?

“You must remember this
A BJ is just a BJ
The fundamental rules apply
As time goes by.”

gurukalehuru June 30, 2009 at 3:51 pm

[re=351622]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Are you posting at Huff Po under the name Ruined Saint, or is somebody stealing your avatar? Style’s a bit different, but POV seems similar.

FunkyPalmettoBug June 30, 2009 at 3:53 pm

[re=351647]stew[/re]: As someone who got a 3 hour headsup on the affair story, this is 99.9% accurate.

Mike Steele June 30, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Note to Governor Sparky: When you ram it up against the back of your secretary’s throat so hard you can FEEL her epiglottis constrict, and her eyes go off axis, and a big foam bubble is coming out of one of her nostrils, and you can see her diaphragm contracting as her head lurches forward, and you can hear the gutteral sound “GMPHH” which you take to mean “stop” or “I’m choking, sir”, well that’s not only crossing the line, THAT’S CHEATING, MORAN.

WadISay June 30, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Just to come clean about this, I have “crossed a line” with the following: Farrah Fawcett’s poster, Joy Harmon, the Saint Pauli Girl, Dana Perino, Nancy Sinatra, Joey Heatherton, and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.

Mike Steele June 30, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Crossing what line? The equator? I’m confused.

Alldat June 30, 2009 at 3:58 pm

[re=351617]slithytoves[/re]: I am so sorry about your kitty! But have hope, even in the depths of grief, that one day you will wake up ready to laugh again… and there will be some hapless GOPer dumbass ready to provide immediate comic relief (probably Sanford and his on-going Latin Lollapalooza, if he has anything to say about it).

Blender June 30, 2009 at 4:01 pm

What’s pissing me off every time this asshole opens his mouth is that imaginary girlfriend reads it, then turns around and gives ME the stinkeye, like it was ME that did something wrong, then describes all the horrible things she’s going to do to ME, even though I’m undyingly faithful – as well as ugly, broke and apparently unemployable in the current job market.

Message to Mr. Sanford: STFU!!!

CaiteeCruelle June 30, 2009 at 4:02 pm

[re=351649]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: “Getting them in the same room is a necessary ingredient for building a threesome.”

Well, duh. That was what I was thinking, but I was trying to come up with a witty way to say it and gave up.

And I guess Sanford couldn’t come up with a way to broach the subject that was both direct *and* effective. And gave up.

Vanity Smurf June 30, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Crossing the line means having feelings for the pussy you are fucking/eating when it’s not attached to your wife. The other three were just outlets, Miss Argentina, he fell for. Don’t you people know anything about how swingers set their boundaries?

cactuspickles June 30, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Sara K. Smith is my favorite writer.

germansteel June 30, 2009 at 4:02 pm

When a guy fesses up almost unasked about “others than the one y’all already know all about,” that inevitbably means he did more than the discounted “no lines crossed” characterization. The reason he is even trying to cut his losses by seeming to be forthright about it is because he knows the “others” are about to be getting THEIR 15 minutes of cable news fame, and he is using my old tried and true ploy of “softening the blow” by advance warning.

Blowing off steam with the guys on overseas getaways – to a christian hypocrite like him – means strip clubs, at least, and probably the whole-nine-yards-sex-in-public clubs of liberated Germany and the low country of The Netherlands (no pun intended).

gurukalehuru June 30, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Never crossed the ultimate line may mean he never had to pay for it like Spitzer did.

saralovesyou June 30, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Sanford is destroying the sanctity of my gay marriage.

Mahousu June 30, 2009 at 4:06 pm

I predict in about a week Sanford will be on the lecture circuit, giving PowerPoint presentations detailing the whole thing.

Prommie June 30, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=351710]Mike Steele[/re]: Yeah, its cheating, but at least you are doing it right.

oldguy June 30, 2009 at 4:08 pm

Didn’t Clinton get in trouble for claiming that “I did not cross the ultimate line with that woman”?

Dave J. June 30, 2009 at 4:08 pm

“It’s like we say down South, eatin’ ain’t cheatin’. However, wearing gaucho pants and having your Argentine road beef peg you with the strap-on probably is, come to think of it.”

Gopherit June 30, 2009 at 4:09 pm

There is a divorce attorney out there that is planning customizations on his new yacht every time Sanford opens his mouth.

oldguy June 30, 2009 at 4:10 pm

[re=351711]WadISay[/re]: They told me I was the only one.

SnarkNotFark June 30, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Mark Sanford never “crossed the ultimate line” except with Chapur?
Thats what I call a shocker…..(punch line please).

Servo June 30, 2009 at 4:15 pm

He forgot to mention the llama shows.

lomri June 30, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Hate to break it to the “straight” SC politician, but ‘crossing lines’ means she was a dude.

Rary Guppert June 30, 2009 at 4:16 pm

When’s this dude’s wife gonna bobbit his sorry ass? What’s the holdup?

SayItWithWookies June 30, 2009 at 4:23 pm

[re=351703]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: Well if it’s gonna come out anyway, you should probably just spill it here and now. Pleeeeease!

ElitistMarxshits June 30, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=351640]Prommie[/re]:funny how the pussy madness

is eerily similar to the jeebus madness, hnnnggh?

Uncle Bubba June 30, 2009 at 4:27 pm

[re=351647]stew[/re]: Your right…this guy looks far to sad to have been wicking some rough riding Argentine vaquerette. Maybe he’s just not that into her. That rodeo could have been with a vaquero, ole’.

BlueStateLibtard June 30, 2009 at 4:31 pm

This guy is a certifiable loon and the people in SC have to be a lot nuttier than I thought to elect him.

ElitistMarxshits June 30, 2009 at 4:40 pm

Looks like Mr. Rees hit the nail on the head: Sanford is our first Emo guvnor. And no, I don’t know what it means either. But I think means something like: Acting like Mark Sanford, but slightly more age-appropriate. Like being fourteen.

Failed 2 Menace June 30, 2009 at 4:40 pm

I like the idea that everyone’s “ultimate line” is subjective.

For Sanford it was ramming Lady Patagonia from behind while her cat licked his anchovy-slathered taint and he watched on closed circuit a hidden camera feed of his conquest’s husband drinking a glass of sweet tea into which he had ejaculated before their rendezvous.

For you, it may just be copping a feel during a Christmas hug.

IceCreamEmpress June 30, 2009 at 4:41 pm

I’M NOT GOING TO RIDE IN CARS ALONE WITH WOMEN because obvs I can’t keep my dick in my pants for a second.

I mean, seriously, when he goes to the dentist, does he try to hump the hygienist? Bleagh.

Man looks like a boiled haddock. Instant vag-clencher.

NYNYNY June 30, 2009 at 4:51 pm

[re=351583]Extemporanus[/re]: Fuck the Equator- the ultimate line is the Tropic of Capricorn!! Up da Punx!

Lorax June 30, 2009 at 5:02 pm

All snark aside: this guy is trying to get Jenny to dump him b/c he doesn’t have the balls to leave. There’s the guilt associated with hiking the AT, but that’s nothing compared to the guilt of leaving your wife and kids. I know guys like this–he’s totally invested in his image of being an upstanding Christian father/husband, and him asking for the divorce would totally annihilate that self-image. He is being outrageous, publicly, so as to push Jenny into divorcing him.

Whew. That was deep. So, anyway, umm, buttsecks?

Bowdoin June 30, 2009 at 5:03 pm

[re=351605]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Thank you, Dr Ruth.

The mob calls it Reading the Rights. As in, “Would you like to be just another waitress on your flat feet all the night long or would you rather continue to live in the mansion with all the perks while this little trouble blows over?” I remember the rage a wife of a Southern Baptist president went through when she discovered not only was he mucking about with a cutie, but he had built out of holy donations a 20-room “hideawy” just for them two. The spurned one set fires to burn it down, then she was read the rights. I know you’d like to be back in the projects on nothing a month; if so, just continue. She came onboard. “I knew about the house, and as I was walking through the rooms, checking papers, accidentally I set a series of fires …”

Mrs Sanford is independently wealthy, so she ain’t listenin’ to no rights.

pat robertsons personal trainer June 30, 2009 at 5:07 pm

“did not cross lines with any women other than my mistress” = “every other non-wife woman who i propositioned shot me down.”

Not_So_Much June 30, 2009 at 5:28 pm

He’s just been playing long, sad solos on the rusty trombone…

Buzz Feedback June 30, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Is a Cleveland Steamer crossing the line?

problemwithcaring June 30, 2009 at 5:40 pm

[re=351579]paintitblack[/re]: The nut never made it in the cup?

Extemporanus June 30, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=351842]NYNYNY[/re]: You’re right—the equator is a bullshit line to cross. However, the fucking Tropic of Cancer puts a hell of a lot more cunts at one’s fingertips.

Jukesgrrl June 30, 2009 at 5:51 pm

The Idiot Todd is talking about this on MSNBC right now and he just used the word “coming” three times in one sentence. I think he’s got the spirit.

desertwind June 30, 2009 at 5:53 pm

Ugh. I now do NOT wanna see a photo of Cubby.

maven June 30, 2009 at 5:53 pm

“he “crossed lines” with a handful of women other than his mistress — but never had sex with them.”

…well, I had never had sex with all of them at the same time, so I never had sex with “them”, but I did have sex with each one individually…

Dolmance June 30, 2009 at 7:12 pm

I live in Mexico City and this sort of thing is very embarrassing to me. I can’t get the image out of my head of that Sanford guy holding onto that poor Argentine woman for dear life with his awful little rat claws, convulsing like crazy as he approaches his climax with tears running down his face like Jimmy Swaggart screaming, “I have sinned, I have sinned.”

If she goes public with all the gory details, it’s going to have an impact on expats like me trying to hook up romantically. The women here talk to each other. If you mess one over and act like a jerk, you can lose your pussy privileges for life. And acting like one of the villains in the Da Vinci Code or a Medieval Pepe La Pew is definitely not considered good behavior.

sad tortoise June 30, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Ohhhhhh, she’s his soulmate! It makes me all gushy inside! Dump your dumb wife and run off to Argentina with your Argentinian soulmate lady, Mark Sanford! You’ll be our redneck Edward the Eighth!

boinggg June 30, 2009 at 7:47 pm

Sanford really wants a divorce, but he’s too much of a chickenshit to tell Jenny to her face. She says she wants to repair the marriage, so he says he wants to repair the marriage, too. In the meantime, he keeps talking about how much he loves his Argentine “soul mate”, and by the way, he also fingered some other women, or somesuch. If Jenny keeps up with this goddamned marital fidelity, he may have to admit that he fucked a nanny goat. He says he’s really sorry about crossing the line with the goat, Jenny, but he also admits it was the best sex he ever had, and that there’s a heavenly parallel to all this bullshit somewhere in the bible.

RoscoePColtraine June 30, 2009 at 8:16 pm

He’s not the first poor sap to confuse hot sex with a latino/latina for deep abiding eternal “you-complete-me” “when can I have some more” true love; and I dare say he won’t be the last.

NYNYNY June 30, 2009 at 8:23 pm

I think he’s trying to slowly deflate a looming larger scandal. Some sources have been mentioning the uncanny resemblance between Sanford and his young Ecuadorian gardener “Sanfordito”.

dedalus June 30, 2009 at 9:52 pm

Laugh if you want to, but Rielle Hunter tears up every time Mark Sanford blurts out the words “soul mate.”

Zorg June 30, 2009 at 10:49 pm

Here at Camp Pendleton, “crossing the line” means skullfucking a .45 head wound in a corpse of the same sex. But, there may be other definitions amongst the Low Country gentry.

SayItWithWookies June 30, 2009 at 11:43 pm

[re=352060]Zorg[/re]: I actually call that Boothing. After John Wilkes, of course.

Mr Blifil June 30, 2009 at 11:54 pm

Notice he is silent on the subject of whether any swords were crossed.

SayItWithWookies July 1, 2009 at 12:28 am

[re=352015]NYNYNY[/re]: [re=351703]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re] seems to know something, but he’s not talking. C’mon — spill! It’ll feel good.

oldguy July 1, 2009 at 12:37 am

[re=352042]dedalus[/re]: And John Edwards was thinking, just a few days ago, “if I just keep quiet a little longer, nobody will remember.” I’m sort of wondering what he does all day.

hbsurf July 1, 2009 at 12:59 am

At least Sanford is willing to admit what he has done. Sure, it’s in poor taste, but I don’t see any issues of conflict of interest, which are involved in the Rep. Loretta Sanchez sex scandal. Congresswoman Sanchez has been involved with her former military escort, Jack Einwechter, now defense and homeland security lobbyist. How convenient given her committee assignments. Google “Loretta Sanchez scandal” for more info.

kdaddy July 1, 2009 at 2:11 am

[re=351617]slithytoves[/re]: I’m wondering if you have to take that kitty to the vet 9 times.

dementor July 1, 2009 at 2:52 am

[re=352102]hbsurf[/re]: There are many people who are interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. They’re just not here.

Dolmance July 1, 2009 at 11:06 am

Has someone just asked the guy what he means by “crossing the line?” Speculation as to whether it was finger banging or anal or whatever shouldn’t be necessary when a proper news organization is doing the reporting. Will someone just ask him? Because I’m sure he’ll describe it in detail if someone just has the guts to come out and ask.

I’m going to send his office an email and ask that myself. And if I get an answer, I’ll paste it here on these pages. But a face to face with a phalanx of laughing kids standing behind him seems to get him going more than a simple written request.

Atlas Spanked July 1, 2009 at 12:39 pm

I once crossed a line in the sand.
It got all gritty and hurt a lot.

Zorg July 1, 2009 at 2:10 pm

[re=352076]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Funny, that’s what Newt Gingrich calls it…

sezme July 1, 2009 at 2:31 pm

All this kissing and telling is just a ruse to convince SC voters that he is Not Gay!

Red Baron July 2, 2009 at 7:36 am

Meanwhile Rep. Loretta Sanchez is blazing a trail that reaches new lows, even for a congressperson. Her refusal to answer the mounting questions about her own adultery scandal (oh, much juicier than Sanford’s), demonstrates that she believes she has something to hide. If the allegations about her adultery with her married military escort were false, you can be sure she would have denied it by now. Instead, it is obvious that she has given strict instructions to her staff to stonewall all inquiries. Her conduct in using her official travel to pursue a relationship with a married officer is just as reprehensible as Sanford’s, yet the “mainstream” media refuses to investigate and report on it. This can only be explained by their desire to protect a cherished political ally, because apparently the public’s appetite for these political sex scandal stories is insatiable. Just look at the obsession with the Sanford case. Look at this column, for Pete’s sake! What scandal? Just google: loretta sanchez scandal.

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