Nearly a year ago, in a faraway land called “Minnesota Nice,” two Patriotic Jews fought an epic battle, if by “fought” you mean “people who were already going to vote for president also voted for one of these dorks (or the Lizard People) running for U.S. Senate.” One of them, the rich Hollywood liberal from Minneapolis, wasn’t anybody’s idea of a prize, but he beat the other guy, some kind of lamer from St. Paul. And that other guy, Norm Coleman, who always loses every campaign, just would not give up, because if he admitted defeat then Barack Obama would have 60 Democrats in the Senate and, well, let’s just say it will be “Good-bye Christianity and Hello Women’s Studies & the Hip Hop.” Anyway, the state Supreme Court says Franken won, the end. [Star Tribune]
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{ 70 comments }
It means, handjobs for all!
Good-bye Christianity and Hello Women’s Studies & the Hip Hop
God bless us, every one.
Wait a minute. Al Franken’s wife’s name is Franni? As in Franni Franken? Oh man, everything about this guy is an unbearable joke. Yay for Al Franken or something. God, if it wasn’t for birthing Prince, I’d say to hell with Minnesota. Well, maybe not. That Mall of America sure is a national treasure.
Don’t underestimate the ability of the Lizard People to petition the US Supreme Court. They will have their say!
This is a bonanza for SNL – I really hope they invite Franken back for a show before he is seated.
I don’t care whether he has to pay attorneys’ fees for his ridiculous legal challenges, but I would appreciate the Supreme Court ordering a critical beatdown. Finally, the underrepresented demographic of comedy writers who co-starred in the 80s blockbuster hit One More Saturday Night gets its due.
I, for one, welcome our new Lizard Overlord. See Al run; see Al WIN!!! Big fail for Normie douche; hope old Norm’s in debt forevah!!!!
Franken wins and Sanford “crosses” more tan lines. Not a bad day!
Franni Bryson Franken, yes. It’s not hilarious when you use her actual name.
[re=351430]NoWireHangers[/re]: Oh my God. You know, if I recall correctly, that mall has a Hooters inside it.
No way will the retard wingnuts let this go. Limbaugh full court press. Oof.
Must. Move. Overseas.
I preferred Coleman more when he played Neil in T
Where is pancakes house?
[re=351441]norbizness[/re]: $95K ordered to Franken. Should just about cover the cost of defending against Normie’s federal appeal.
Take Two:
I preferred Coleman more when he played Neil in The Young Ones.
Whoo hoo! This will mean that every Democratic bill will now fall at least two votes short of 60 instead of three!
Please don’t let our man Coleman be a big pussy and let something as trivial as a supreme court decision dampen his zeal to carry on the fight.
Norm,
Remember that “loser” doesn’t look good on a resume.
Instead try repeated failure, human money pit or Reaganomics enthusiast.
Okay well it’s all over now. 60 godless muslin mocha-loving democratic senators is all it will take for the antichrist with his evil eye and fashionably capable wife to make abortions mandatory for christians and to outlaw high-fructose corn syrup and convoluted tax breaks. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me
a semblance of sensible policy and governance for a refreshing and rare passing change, or
give me sedatives sufficient to tolerate the status quo ante.
Hooray, just in time for the reelection campaign.
I can haz Phil-i-buster pruf majoritiz now?
Huh. Who knew that Al Franken was running for office? Why wasn’t this in the news?
[re=351433]tunamelt[/re]: They’ve already filed a lawsuit on behalf of Rep. Joe Sleestak charging voting pylon irregularities in the upcoming 2010 Pennsylvania senate race.
“You Oughta Know”, that Norm Coleman is a tool.
Our long national nightmare… yahdada. Maybe.
I’m sure we can expect a classy understated concession speech from Norm in 3-2-1…
And now for that long awaited Rush Limbaugh left ventricle explosion. I’m rubbing my lucky rabbits foot!
Dear Norm,
The above-displayed Blingee is about as good as you can expect out of this; please stop.
Thx.
States Rights! States Rights! States Rights!
The grounds for Coleman’s appeal have already been laid. One of Minn. justices, Alan Page, is a person of the negro tendency. The long shadow Obama’s socialist hand falls upon this land.
Haha, I am going to tool around the MN-06 Congressional District tonight and watch my enemies driven before me, and hear the screams of their women and children.
And the top headline at cnn.com is about Jacko’s funeral schedule. God, some days I love this country.
so Franken is our Ahmadinejad?
All will fail against the might of the Lizard People and their Senator, Al Franken.
If I can’t live in Minnesota I’m glad I live in the other news-making state. The hot one.
If this means normcoleman.gif goes away, I DO NOT WANT.
[Minnesota Secretary of State Mark Ritchie] said he hasn’t spoken with Pawlenty and wasn’t aware that the governor was out of the state at a conference in Washington.
What is it with these governors who are running for President? Do they all duck out of state for a week or two and leave no forwarding address?
Now all that is left is the official birth certificate check.
Franken’s first bill: Everyone must watch Joe Piscopo episodes of SNL or face genital electrocution.
Antonin Scalia is already leafing through the Codex of Irredeemably Stupid and Arbitrary Principles in preparation for overturning this.
At least from now on cocaine will be cheap, legal and plentiful.
[re=351571]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
From what I’ve seen, it’s pretty much the same thing.
[re=351571]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Those are also Eddie Murphy episodes for the most part…so all in all, not the end of the world…
[re=351485]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: National Fuck-Up
Norm has but one last choice. Get his supporters to take to the streets and challenge the National Guard.
Perhaps Norm Coleman should bask himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka
Hurrah! Minnesota is not completely useless!
[re=351572]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The “Arcanum” volume, specifically.
[re=351598]WhatTheHeck[/re]: He waits not for his SCOTUS appeal, now, but for the people of Iran to declare solidarity with his cause.
Coleman’s Jewish?
[re=351571]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: But that makes no sense, since the punishment is more lenient than the prescribed act.
Now if all the Dems would frickin’ vote the way Barry tells ‘em to. Why can’t they be more like Republicans? Oh. Never mind.
Normy was just on Minnesota Public Radio conceding. Now he can run for governor. Won’t somebody who lives in another state invite him to your state? We’ll never get rid of him.
Report: Coleman (amazingly) threw in the towel at 4 EDT…what, so soon?
Coleman concedes. Still an ass.
[re=351751]Not a Country Bumpkin[/re]: Would you consider trading him for Orrin Hatch. Didn’t think so.
[re=351643]Jonny Lieberman[/re]: Yeah, but he won’t correct you if you confuse him with the politically prominent Irish Coleman family.
I personally will be voting with the mole men next time around. They ARE the party of Jefferson after all.
@Native of SL UT. Thought about it. Rethinking. Trade you Normy and Michele Bachmann for Orrin Hatch?? That’s fair.
[re=351751]Not a Country Bumpkin[/re]: Okay, we’ll take him, but you’ve got to take a cracker of our choice in return.
i’ll trade you half a darrell strawberry for 2 colemans. my bicycle needs new motor sounds.
Has anyone noticed Norm Coleman’s remarkable resemblance to Leslie Van Houten?
[re=351986]Dolmance[/re]: Absolutely. Now – I wonder if anyone else remembers who Leslie Van Houten is?
I hope someone posts a video of Bill Oreilleys head exploding!
i’ll take manson family for 200 alex
Leslie Van Houten, the nice manson killer?
[re=352031]RobPetrified[/re]: i hope when it explodes it sprays the toxic waste all over rush limpblah’s oxycontin,codone, morphine, addicted fat ass.
If few have noticed, it could hardly be remarkable.
Wind up the countdown clock I give it a month before he says/does something ridiculous that fills up a news-cycle or two… until then: http://www.newsy.com/videos/franken_funnyman_or_senator
I thought Gary Coleman was dead.
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