- The Weekly Standard used strategically placed ellipses to suggest Joe Klein thinks Iran is “breezy” with freedom, which is patently false. Joe Klein thinks Iran is “overflowing” with buckets of candy corn. Get it right or apologize, Weekly Standard. [Swampland]
- Be it Hamas, Hezbollah, Chavez, Castro, corn syrup, Heinrich Himmler, unibrows or the sinking of the Lusitania — in the battle of Good versus Evil, Barack Obama endorses Evil. Always. [RedState]
- Internet sensations Matthew Yglesias and Ezra Klein are reading Infinite Jest together, and they’re keeping a diary about it. Because the world needs more of those WordPress things. [A Supposedly Fun Blog]
- Henry Paulson and Fareed Zakaria will mate, and they will ask Matt Taibbi to be the child’s godfather. Also: Fareed Zakaria is a ham-head. [Matt Taibbi]
- Jonah Goldberg’s pet snail is dead! “Gary never caused trouble, never talked back, helped keep his tank a cleaner, better place and made everyone smile.” If only Michelle Obama could be a little more like Gary. [The Corner]
Barack Obama Murdered Jonah Goldberg’s Pet Snail, Because That’s What Liberal Fascists Do
1:25 pm June 30, 2009
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{ 26 comments }
Mmm, dead snail. I’ll bet it was a picnic-upon-the-grass ‘burial’ ceremony.
Do you prefer Oysters or Snails? Now, we know.
[re=351300]TGY[/re]:
Was he embalmed in butter and garlic?
He has burned bridges with the French
Uh, lest we forget Freedumb Fries.
“If only Michelle Obama could be a little more like Gary.” I’m fairly certain that is a racist statement.
Gary the Snail is dead, huh? Spongebob Goldberg must be devastated.
Jonah is in morning over a snail…, wait, has anyone heard from J-Lo lately?
[re=351305]Terry[/re]: A distinct possibility. Alas for the brevity of life. As they say: here today and gone to dinner.
I don’t like it when political types read literature, especially David Foster Wallace.
I knew there would be a wingnut out there who would a way to publicly defend the military coup in Honduras. Supporting Lating American juntas and death squads is part of the “What Would Reagan Do” approach to rebuilding the GOP.
Obama also goes to the animal shelter to kick puppies. He is pure evil. His skin color is all the proof I need.
Jonah ran out of cheetos one night and ate the Gar-bear. This is quite clear.
Jesus, Redstate. Come for the blind, racist, hateful posts-stay for the blind, racist, hateful comments.
“He has insulted the British …”
Gads, man. Has that mulatto no sense of shame?
I must have been on an adrenochrome bender when they changed the definition of “supposedly” to “not at all,” as the name of the dreadfully staffed, boring, college paper amateur literary critic-grade asupposedlyfunblog implies.
Tom Friedman and F. Zakaria are not exactly the easiest targets to hit, so I give Taibbi credit for doing the hard thing and nailing the masters of mediocrity. Gonna’ piss off the middle a bunch, though.
P.S. I just signed for a UPS package from a guy that looked a lot like Taibbi. Maybe he can spare some of the energy used to fuel his Brobdingnagian wit to close his fucking bold tab.
[re=351320]FormerDCite[/re]: He also runs over nuns and orphans on his way to pick up cheeseburgers.
“Jonah Goldberg’s pet snail” isn’t a euphemism, is it? Because the mind recoils at the images it could represent.
[re=351328]freakishlystrong[/re]: Sometimes they wonder over [re=350974]here[/re] and wish our liberal children into Eternal Fires of Hell for our revolting use of the magic-wand and smudge tools in photoshop. They hate our pixellated freedoms.
[re=351347]bitchincamaro[/re]: Mostly because nobody can stay awake long enough to figure out what either of them is getting at. Honestly, did anyone EVER make it through an entire episode of “Foreign Exchange?” Chriminy. It was like watching Charlie Rose reading license plate numbers.
Fact: Jonah Goldberg named his pet snail “Gary” after the one on Spongebob Squarepants. Fact: Spongebob Squarepants is gay. Therefore….?
According to Redstate, Obama bows and scrapes to his cronies and wants to be a dictator. Why would anyone with the “audacity” to want to be a dictator bow and scrape to anyone? It bothers them that he is President, so he doesn’t have to bow and scrape, but it’s the bowing and scraping they want to believe he does and want to see him do. Their heads would fall off if they believe what they clearly see: black man President of the U.S. THAT is what they still cannot believe.
Haha!
And why does Wonkette make me go to these sites?
Loved Taibbi’s post, though.
Jonah’s story teaches us about obedience, willingness of spirit, gratitude, compassion and Gary’s nascent gaiety.
Of course Jonah Goldberg would have a pet snail. It’s the only animal that could never possibly escape from Jonah Goldberg.
I’d love to pour salt over Jonah to see what happens. Probably nothing, but you never know. However, for a man who hasn’t seen his penis since Ken Star’s report was issued, he seems more like the Doberman-type than a snail lover. Maybe we’ve misjudged him?
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