Wonkette
Okay thanks a lot to Wonkette Operative “Phil” for sending this with the subject line, “OBAMA DOG SEX TAPE??!” This is the official Monday Night Open Thread, go nuts!
SEX TAPES
Wait, Is This Even Barack Hussein’s Water Dog?
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Yawn. Where’s the audio. I was expecting panting and squealing and growling.
OK — so didja hear that nobody wants Sanford to resign because that means the Lt. Gov. would become Gov., and the Palmetto State isn’t ready for a Governor of the ghey persuasion? It’s true! It’s true!
I love that the Portuguese “water dog” is wearing a life vest in this video.
OT?!! fuck yeah. I wanna talk about Sanford all night long. Liberal tabloid Huffington Post says Sanford is king shit of fuck mountain. He’s spreading his compassionate conservatism all over, baby.
republicans have haxxed into mah furfux browzer - no sounz
looks like the dog is a lifeguard too
curse you, Torvälds
What’s wrong with me? I am totally incapable of recognizing The Ghey these days and in the eighties I spent as much time at Studio 54 as Liza Minnelli (or at least it felt like it). Do I have a virus or is this connected to The Old? I’ve seen the governor of SC and the lt. gov. and one doesn’t less straight than the other (using Miss Lindsey as a baseline).
El Pinche: Sorry, I was too distracted by the other HuffPo headline to read that story:
Obama Responds To Gay Anger: You’ll Be Happy In The End
Obvious double-entendre is obvious.
President Beeblebrox:
That Ariana! Such a wag!
Sounds like “Phil” just wanted to boost up the views of his carefully crafted Portuguese water dog video, and Wonkette took the bait!
WickedWitch: Well he certainly is pretteh. And these are fun:
On May 6, 2003, Bauer was stopped on Assembly Street in downtown Columbia, South Carolina for running two red lights and speeding up to 60 mph in a 35 mph zone. The officer drew his gun after Bauer got out of the car and began heading toward the officer’s car in an “aggressive manner.” He was issued a ticket for reckless driving.
On December 26, 2005, Bauer got a warning for speeding (77 mph in a 65 mph zone) in Laurens County, South Carolina. On February 25, 2006, Bauer was pulled over for speeding over 100 mph in Chester County, South Carolina in a state-issued car, but he was allowed to proceed without a ticket or warning.
All incidents after he took office as Lieutenant Guv. If that job is too stressful, I wouldn’t want him running the state either.
This looks as if it should be accompanied by Emerson Lake and Palmer music and watched while tripping one’s ass off.
I think there’s no sound because it’s not even a video. Weird.
El Pinche: Enough of that, young man, he’s just spreading his seed as the Good Book says to do, and we need more like him. Carry on about Nobama’s commie dog, or whatever you all do here.
I’m sorry, but if they don’t have a tape of Bo calling someone “whitey,” I don’t see how this video is in anyway relevant.
Eh, it was an okay video. If only they could have enhanced it with some kind of fancy technique….various photoshop-esque filters or a series of wipes, perhaps.
WickedWitch: On Morning Joe this morning, Mike Allen said it was because the Lt. Governor is a fatty.
Jukesgrrl: Southern Ghey may simply be a different flavor; the fact that he was a Varsity Male Cheerleader at U of S C (or wherever he went) does serve as an indication.
x111e7thst: That’s rather a broad brush. Dubya was a cheerleader after all. Oh — hmmmmm.
It hit i…er, um, carry on.
A Varisty Cheerleader and a TKE…if you can’t go greek, go TEEK. He looks like a total Lambda Chi..aka Lambchop aka Land-a-guy. They are always the flamers on campus. Not that I wouldn’t totally do him. Or watch him and Gavin Newsom bump nasties. Ooop…brb…!!
OPEN THREAD BLAWG.
If this is an open thread, can I please bring up a very serious situation?
There are thousands of Republicans suffering from homosexuality on a daily basis without an outlet. There isn’t an organization that could help them— not even “GayRepublicans.org” could do it, until now.
The GOP is changing it’s image, everyone, and we must all embrace it.
If you contribute to the effort, with just $10 a month, you can reshape the Republican party into what God really intended— the party of “OH MY GOD TOTALLY AWESSSOOOOMMMEE.” Do your part today. Go to http://www.rebuildtheparty.com, and make your suggestion heard.
The party of red can become the party of pink, and we can do it without that pink-o commie stereotype.
Well, I’ll give the videographer credit, it was far superior to that PUMA (confluence?) video Wonkette subjected to in intellectual message, soundtrack, and special effects.
But “Striker”? I bet I know who’s the top in the relation with Bo…
SayItWithWookies: (1) Victor Ashe (2) Jeff Gannon
His name is Andre.
If that don’t say cocksucker…..
shortsshortsshorts: Oh come on, they have outlets. Have little dinner parties, themed. With Log Cabin Republicans to discuss supply-side economics and those calls for tax cuts capable of spurring multiple orgasms. With those nice church people, you know, like Exodus: discuss faith-based initiatives and pray to Jeebus.
There’s just two.
Not even a little chihuahua humping? How disappointing for the furries.
BERF SERTIFICAT PLZ
Uncle Glenny: The Log Cabin Republicans continue to my personal favorite. Mainly because when one thinks of a log cabin, they may think of a snow storm. This energizes the “base.”
x111e7thst: So he is/has a game cock? Or is that gamecock? Spent four years in college hollering “go cocks”. Hmmm…methinks his Pride might be showing.
Wait a minute here, what is this Official Monday Open Thread thing? Is this an open invitation to pretend rude punctuation and comments about what we ate for dinner? Will we be attacked by birthers and people who are posing as Michael Jackson? Will we be planning a chummy get together for group sex with video?
Oh, over the weekend while you all were clicking away in the dark looking at You tubes. My esposo met a *good friend* of Sarah and Dude at a neighbors place and that heard that Sarah is finished with Alaska and we in New York will never be rid of them. So the only way to stop them is indeed to knock up another daughter or set some of those big spring traps that are used for bears.There are some nice ones available and I suggest setting them out now rather than waiting for tragedy to strike your local special needs children event. Bait them with expensive clothes or travel vouchers.
President Beeblebrox: The headline I read (not an agate) said “Obama: Gays will be pleased by end of my administration.”
I wouldn’t have phrased it that way… After all, I was pleased by the end of the Bush administration.
shortsshortsshorts: What happened to Octopus Parties? I’ve been completely out of touch with teh ghey since leaving grad school, but I remember lots of respectable, grown up gheys having something called octopus parties to raise money for…something? Maybe it was a liberal ghey thing. Or I dreamed it. Because ghey & octopus sound so yummy together.
WickedWitch: the Palmetto State isn’t ready for a Governor of the ghey persuasion?
I’ve never visited the fine state of Palmettoes (Dan Quayle spelling) but something tells me it won’t ever be ready for a gay governor.
Cleanup needed in aisle Palin pics. There’s feces and jism all over the place, if that’s your thang.
102415: Well, thanks for killing my buzz. Maybe a cab driver will accidentally run over one of them. I’d rather have the bears than the Snowbillies in the lower 48 any day.
Portugal = Spain = Moors = Muslims
Black = Moors = Muslims
Coincidence? Or the Conspiracy of the End Times?
And now a Yemeni Airbus A310 has crashed in the ocean off of Comoras and most of those onboard were Comoran. Whatever that means.
chascates: Black = Moors = Muslins + Irish = Black Irish Muslins
IRA Conspiracy of our End Times? Or Irish people with black hair perpetuating a myth?
No, wait. Spanish Armada w/Black = Moors = Muslins + Irish = Black Irish Armada!
hobospacejunkie: Guinness Draught + Bass = Black & Tan
hobospacejunkie: By the way the site’s back up if you want to CRAP ALL OVER IT, you well appreciated thing you.
Texan Bulldoggette: The stratergy is to keep the NY centered media going until people find something about her that they can like. Same way Coulter and Limbaugh did it. It’s such a waste of human time.
I had frozen lasagna with chocolate sauce on the side for dinner. No more rum for a least a week. Also, I looked for my birth certificate the other day and the whole page is now blank.I am sorry I voted for Obama now Mr. Pat Boone!!
Good night, I can’t wait for next Monday!!
hobospacejunkie: I thought the Irish were the Blacks of Europe. Just House of Pain?
FAKE! Obama’s water dog has better tits.
Is this one of those trendy ‘mumblecore’ movies? Cause I don’t get it.
hobospacejunkie: I’ve never visited the fine state of Palmettoes (Dan Quayle spelling) but something tells me it won’t ever be ready for a gay governor.
Not a gay one, of course — but they might love a bachelor governor with a passion for orchids. Southerners are funny like that.
Also, the pope is still an idiot. Who knew?
Wrath of God watch
Brother Mark Sanford has abandoned the Book of Samuel and is sounding very, very New Testament today, “what can I learn from this, what can others learn from my heinous ween stunt?” Praise Jeebus. I can put those stones back in the walkway. When you start your argument with “Well, King David did it…” you’re letting Satan write your press releases.
the problem child: I sent this mamabear ( my guess it’s the human carotid artery jennifer beegle or that other PUMA hag):
http://www.fileden.com/files/2009/2/22/2334311/Jenni_Palin.jpg
..for old time’s sake.
102415: As long as they stay out of California, we’ve got enough problems.
shortsshortsshorts: By the way the site’s back up if you want to CRAP ALL OVER IT
Oh joy! My careful study of Distending Your Anus for Dummies will bear fruit, so to speak, all over that mirthful dog & pony show of yours.
El Pinche: Oh hell no, you didn’t just do that! Craptacularly awesome. What in god’s name is coming out of her mouth and spilling onto Mama Bear? Spaghetti?
oh, an open thread.
Well my Monday was about as enjoyable as a Tabasco enema administered by a large, German woman with a moustache and excessive gas.
I need to be hiking the Appalachian trail with a hot Latina with a tight body and 36D personalities. But alas, all I have is a photo of some homely Portugese water dog and a stolen bottle-ette of “body lotion” that I stole from the maids cart at the Hilton during my last business trip.
If tomorrow’s like today, I’m personally meeting up with the front of a Red Line train.
:hopelessly seeking hidden bottle of whiskey:
All you DEGENERATES should be ASHAMED of yourselves!
An Iconic Representation of a Pitbull’s Love for a Portuguese Water Dog is not something to be desecrated!
STOP this DESECRATION of BO OBAMA immediately!
I don’t understand this. This is another Wonkette post that goes way over my head. It “means’ something, and the all the hip Wonkette insiders understand it. But I don’t. Boo-hoo. Wonkette is so mean to squares like me. I am a victim. Liberal fascism! Sniff-sniff. boo-hoo. I’m telling Mitt.
shortsshortsshorts: freebase?
D’oh! What was I thinking? I’m telling Denby!
hobospacejunkie: It’s the PUMA spew in it’s physical form (vomit+poo poo)
‘
Extemporanus:
NO, behold…. Bo Palin
imissopus: And will the main stream media mention that Bo was personally trained by William Ayers and Rev. Wright?
Portuguese waterboarding dog
El Pinche: Can that human/dog hybrid lick its own balls?
El Pinche: Consider me beheld.
MOVIE TRIVIA FUN FACT: Bo Palin’s father won a Best Supporting Human/Animal Hybrid Oscar® for his brief yet emotionally searing performance in the 1978 remake of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.
hobospacejunkie: More to the point: Can it lick mine?
El Pinche: That looks like one shit-eating dog.
Extemporanus: Nice bonus iconic mother-child picture too. In Ken’s dreams….
Extemporanus: More to the point: Can it lick mine?
A dog will lick you anywhere you put peanut butter. Or so I’ve heard.
El Pinche: GOOD NEWS!
A liter of whiskey and an ex-wife later, I was finally able to unearth a picture of the bitch whose last litter let loose the unnervingly adorable Bo “C’monaiwannaleiya” Palin.
Said litter also produced future Republican special needs strategist Trig [pictured], who reportedly shares his mother’s propensity for defecating and drooling uncontrollably, and communicating via cryptic barks and farts.
hobospacejunkie: Damn Skippy!
Before going to bed I must share with you all this true fact: the best single episode of teevee ever is the final episode of season 2 of Millennium titled The Time is Now, starring Lance Henricksen. Not least because it features the songs In the Year 2525 by Zager and Evans and Land: Horses/Land of 1000 Dances/La Mer(de) by Patti Smith.
Extemporanus: I was gonna say Bo Palin is HHHHHHAAWWWWTTT! Lick, baby, lick!
Extemporanus: Haha, yes I considered that mutant combo. I also considered putting the special-needs human prop’s head on the dog. However, I’m a compassionate liberal so i did not….plus I was annoying my wife with my excessive photoshop time.
hobospacejunkie: I love that episode! Chris Carter was one of the best things to happen to TV.
Whahaha. Ahah! Wow! I didn’t think he was gonna do “Starburst Cross-Fade,” but bam! 2:06 in! Looks like someone had a Mac, iLife, a love for the Plain White T’s and too much time on their hands.
I have a cold.
Sabre_Justice: You call it a cold, the CDC calls it “Terminal Herpes”…
Finally, something on youtube proving just you fucking hard it is to get a decent picture of a solid black dog except for that one white spot. That’s the best I could ever pull off and the amount of bouncing of flashes involved was quite spectacular.