Gaylord.What happens when you’re super angry about a Negro somehow becoming president, but there are no longer specific laws against a Negro becoming president? Make up something else! Better yet, make up something that can never be disproved, to you, because you can just dedicate yourself to saying, “Nah, that is FAKE somehow!” Perfection. And guess who just joined the “Birther” club? Once-famous right-wing asshole and talentless fruitsack Pat Boone, who made a living half a century ago stealing the black man’s music, that’s who.

There were two white boys who did sexless cover versions of black rock ‘n roll in the 1950s so that the music was “safe” for white racists to enjoy, and exactly one of them was actually talented: Ricky Nelson, who went on to make sublime alt-country hippie music and then died in the crash of Jerry Lee Lewis’ old airplane, in the 1980s. Meanwhile, the other one, this dumb mean sausage, continues to exist, spooging out nonsense for goddamned Newsmax. [Washington Independent]

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  1. Jesus tits, why do they keep letting the elder members of the mushy peas & diapers contingent rail on about anything relevant to today’s society? Drool lacquered babble like this has its place at the Thanksgiving dinner table and during Game Night at Shady Pines and that’s it.

  2. If Pat doesn’t cut it out he will queer any chance he had of getting back his old job as spokesperson for Chevrolet.

    We look forward to seeing him with opening act Alan Keyes at the Rush Limbaugh Celebrity Dinner Theater in Branson, Mo. Also.

  3. Can’t wait for 2060 when Eminem is dead from rocket exploding on the way to the Mars in 2041 and Snow starts pimping whatever the hip new wingnut meme of the times is.

  4. Acting like a diaper on the head wearing nut to gain attention is way better than doing 2 shows a night at the local bowl-o-rama or Chow Mein Fat dinner theater

  5. “[A] widely known and experienced investigator, Dr. Jerome Corsi…”

    Yeah, didn’t need to read further than that. Had to stop laughing, though. And that’s Pat Boone — damn, I guessed it was Gay Pride Richard Dawson.

  6. [re=350635]El Pinche[/re]:

    At least Ricky Nelson was sodomizable when we was a young man. Pat Boone has always has always been a two-bagger.

  7. For the second time in my life, I have seen this picture. For the second time in my life, I have tapped into the Spiritus Mundi. For the second time in my life, the entire world has thrown up a little in my mouth.

  8. Yes, the photo comes from the Magnum Opus insane from about 10 years ago, “In a Metal Mood” where Pat stopped stealing from the Black Man and started stealing from angry stoned white guys who did copious amounts of drugs and worshipped Satan (he covers Holy Diver, and I’m not kidding). It is an amazingly, awfully, terrifyingly absurd performance art piece. Of course, it’s easily the most entertaining thing to put on at any party where things are starting to get boring, as it will instantly cause a visceral reaction in at least half of the party goers.

  9. [re=350639]zenferret[/re]: An old antidote to her music that used to work wonders was to slap onto a turntable the original vinyl version of David Bromberg’s “Reckless Abandon” (the final grooves of which were etched in such a way that they intoned the name “Debby Boone” ad infinitum), turn it up full blast, and leave the vicinity.

  10. That there is the gayest straight man ever photographed. Rob Halford gave him wardrobe advice and the key to his private stash of gimp suits in 1985 and never let him in on the joke.

  11. Pat Boone in that getup? AND he’s a birther? Oh please! No talent ever and now a bigger waste of space asshole than ever. I’d feel embarrassed for him xcept his kind has no shame.

  12. Boone is in the paranoid stage of dementia. Unfortunately it often goes on for years.
    No, we didn’t take your white bucks, Pat. You left them in the microwave.

  13. I was at one of his concerts once. He started to sing Rod Stewart’s “If you think I’m sexy …” Everyone in the audience said “we don’t” and promptly left.

  14. [re=350645]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Ha ha Jerome Corsi. You fucking ignorant rube, Boone. What a gulli-bull, a nin-cow-poop. Corsi looks about 2 genes shy of milk-fed veal, all pinkish and bulging eyes, like a pox experiment gone badly wrong.

  15. [re=350618]memzilla[/re]: Your bitchincamaro’s very own two eyeballs saw this walking leather turdsack in this very outfit, trudging up the street, preparing to enter the back door of the Essex House Holtel, in NY some years ago. I should have jumped the curb and pinned him to the lampost but I was too stunned.

    And yes, I said “back door”.

  16. Hey Hey we’re the Homos
    And people know we’re Homing around
    But we’re to busy Homoing
    To put any straight guys down (cept’ Niggers!)

    UNDERWORLD: Rise of the This Guys

  17. [re=350717]snarkolicious[/re]: Let’s Fuck Each Other’s Mothers?

    There you go! I automatically hate this guy, cause he’s queer, and now you go and show a side of him that I just can’t hate…

    Damn you very funny and evidently prehistoric ancient dick in a box joke! Damn you to hell…

  18. [re=350642]Snookums[/re]: Man, that has to be one of the signs of endtimes. Maybe Pat is one of the horses-assmen of the apocalypse.

  19. [re=350661]nailsinthecoffin[/re]: The best way to make people leave a party is to put on Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes live and turn it way up.

  20. Honolulu Star-Bulletin refuses to run WorldNetDaily’s ‘birther’ ad attack
    against Obama.

    Media Matters reported earlier this month that many in the conservative
    media – including Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, Fox Nation, the Washington
    Times, and the LA Times’s Andrew Malcolm – “have advanced various versions
    of the discredited myth that Barack Obama has not produced a valid birth
    certificate, is not a natural-born U.S. citizen, and is not eligible to be
    president.” Among those pushing this false myth is the right-wing site
    WorldNetDaily (WND), which last night reported a setback in its
    conspiracy-driven mission to expose Obama’s true birth origins:

    In the latest effort to obtain information that could settle the
    controversy over Barack Obama’s eligibility for office as a “natural born
    citizen,” WND Editor and Chief Executive Officer Joseph Farah attempted to
    buy a full-page ad in a Honolulu daily newspaper soliciting assistance in
    finding documentary evidence of his birth in the city Aug. 4, 1961, as he
    claims in his autobiography. . [T]he copy was rejected [by the Honolulu
    Star-Bulletin] – the latest turndown by a growing list of media companies
    that won’t touch the birth certificate issue even for money.

    “I spoke to my publisher and unfortunately we cannot accept the ad because
    it is political,” explained Cyd Kamakea, classified advertising manager.

    A number of billboard companies have also rejected ads from WND that ask,
    “Where’s the birth certificate?”

    It really speaks volumes I think that they have to make up something this

    “I spoke to my publisher and unfortunately we cannot accept the ad because
    it is a lie,” explained Cyd Kamakea, classified advertising manager.
    Can someone tell me how these “birthers” get around the inconvenient truth
    that it doesn’t matter where Obama was born since his mother was a US
    citizen when he was born.

    These guys have had way too much success at the bullshit game for the last
    eight years. They still believe most Americans will latch on to anything
    they put out there.

    BTW… I guess WorldNetDaily forgot their OWN story (and wingnuts wonder
    why no one believes any of their sources):

    >>…A separate WND investigation into Obama’s birth certificate utilizing
    >>forgery experts also found the document to be authentic. The investigation
    >>also revealed methods used by some of the bloggers to determine the
    >>document was fake involved forgeries, in that a few bloggers added text
    >>and images to the certificate scan that weren’t originally there.<<

  21. The Clinton-haters had the Mena airport “story”; the Obama-haters have the birth certificate story. Same shit, different day. The difference here is that Richard Mellon Scaife isn’t funding a right-wing newspaper and a shitload of dubious journalists to “report” the birthers’ fantasies… if all they have is Pat Boone, they’re in trouble.

  22. “Bright Lights, Country Music.” Fantastic stuff! Have to love a good Wonkette tangent like that…

    But what would Mr. Relaxation say about all this?

  23. I think all these posts calling Pat a big homo is an insult to big homos. Hey, I have gay friends, and none of them are icky, slimy, desperate, memory impaired dickwiggles like Pat Boone.

  24. [re=350790]DagNabbit[/re]: I meant to say “Pat is a real American” that we can all get behind. His version of Enter Sandman is a classic along the lines of Bruce Willis’ Young Girl.

    And the great Ronald Reagan. Also.

  25. I would say something really nasty and cruel about that photo.

    But I’m too busy puking into the wastebasket under my desk.

    Jesus H. Christ On A Bicycle, but that’s a horrifying pic.

  26. See? This is one of the reasons why I love Wonkette. This is the only place where you’re going to see the phrase “talentless fruitsack Pat Boone.” (And furthermore, I think it should be decreed that whenever anyone in the media mentions Pat Boone, it should always be preceded by “talentless fruitsack”.)

  27. Something just dawned upon me. I read this thread with my usual enjoyment. Wonksters are such humorous mofos! Later, as I was having my nightcap (mid-shelf scotch if you’re curious) I thought, “Holy sweet FUCK! I’ve seen Pat Boone’s COCK!?” I had another tall one and I feel better now. Well, I feel drunk and from where I’m sitting, that feels better. I just hope I don’t have nightmares though.

    Good night all…now I lay be down to sleep I pray the lord my soul to keep, but if I should die before I rock, please tell me I haven’t seen Pat Boone’s mother fucking cock.

  28. [re=350623]Ken Layne[/re]: Oh bloody hell – I was dumb/curious/addicted enough to start my Tuesday by looking in on Wonkette, and wot do I get for my trouble? Pat Fucking Boone, that’s wot – and not just Pat, but his bollocks in a box…. good GAWD people – WHY IS THERE SO MUCH EVIL IN THE WORLD????

    i may never be whole again….

  29. Look, as probably the only guy here who’s actually FROM Hawaii, let me tell any wingnuts who happen about here one last time.

    The birth certificate produced by the Obama team that you decry as a “short form” is the exact form you get when you request one. I know b/c it’s the form I get.

    I hate you non-local, right-wing idiots who think you know what you’re talking about when discussing birth certificates from Hawaii. One clue that you’re all as stupid as fuck — you see any Republicans from Hawaii saying “hell yeah” with you? The current fucking GOVERNOR of Hawaii is a Republican and she’s not backing you.

    Get a motherfucking clue, goddamn losers. You’all piss me off so much, that I can’t even think of a good snark for you interweb morans.

    Signed – a guy born in Wahiawa General Hospital.

  30. Michael Moore outed this guy’s idiocy to the world in “Roger and Me”. I see he has yet to learn to keep his trap shut.

    And my GOD, that pic! It’s like when Tobias Funke went into the store asking for the “leather daddy” look.

  31. Back in the olden days, grandpa had to wear fishnet stockings, wetsuits or biker gear to get enough blood flowing and his withered weed became a mighty whacker.
    Photographic proof, supplied above.
    I can boldly speak for all grandchildren: Thank gods for todays Viagra. So gramps, take off the bondage pants? Please?!

    No, I didn’t mean that. Put them back on. Put them back on!

  32. Pat Boone has to have some assless chaps somewhere. I’m still waiting for one of those “where are they now” shows on TMZ. Heart attacks always seem to target the wrong people. Pat is a world class douchenozzel.

  33. Wow Pat Boone leather queen, If the Prez was born on Mars he would still be a natural born citizen, his MOTHER is an American (wow what a bunch of losers). My daughter was born overseas, all she needs is 14 yrs residency and she can be president. To compare Obama to Arnold Schwarzenegger a citizen born a foreign national is nuts.


  34. Elvis was huge find for record producers because they found a white guy who sounded black. But then some producers said “hey, we need a white guy that sounds really white and could take the energy and eroticism out of anything, even Tuti-Fruiti.” Enter Pat Boone.

    BTW, Ricky Nelson rocked some serious rockabilly shit, so he really doesn’t warrant mention in the some post as Boone.

  35. What happens when a Negro has been passing for a citizen and some-one saw the danger only when he ended up in the White House? What is a Negro to do? He could seal his identity records; but he needs support behind him. HE COULD USE RACISTS !!!

    A racist is someone who overlooks the actions or qualifications or lack thereof of a person and supports a person because they are also the same color. In this case, the racists are black. That’s powerful in its own quiet way, they just ridicule those that look for proof of his identity. Racists cannot recognize that spending about a million dollars to hide your identity means trouble and danger ahead.

    Then there is the secret weapon, hiding in the back of fearful people in power. If you remove him, you could start a race riot. Not all blacks are ignorant racists, but it only takes a few to draw a crowd and begin a riot. So the fearful leaders refuse to bring truth to light for fear of a race riot.

    TRUMP CARD !!! God has prepared a candidate acceptable to all races and religions, who actually has an easy plan to solve the world problems. MY, MY, MY, WHAT IS A NEGRO TO DO?! Repent, turn from his wicked ways and get out while the getting out is easy. If you love him, pray for him and his family, they are in danger of blackmail or worse.

  36. Holy Shit! I really thought this guy was dead, No kidding. Now here he is and it appears that he is a Dick, not a Pat.

    Kinda Catchy, Dick Boone.

  37. All these personal attacks on Pat Boone – because you Gay-Loving Democrats CAN’T HANDLE the TRUTH ABOUT YOUR Kenyan Poseur, BARRY SOETORA, a/k/a: Barack Obama!

    Let’s see, besides Obama being UNABLE to NAME a HOSPITAL in HAWAII WHERE HE WAS SUPPOSEDLY BORN & no proud Democrats in Hawaii coming forward to proclaim that Obama was born in any Hawaiian hospital – contrary to evidence from the Coast Provincial Hospital in Mombasa, Kenya that says Obama was born there on August 4, 1961…

    There’s the three homosexual choir members (Donald Young, Nate Spencer & Larry Bland) at Obama’s Trinity United Church that were ALL MURDERED – Execution Style – with ‘Double-Taps’ (shots) to the back of their heads in November & December of 2007 – that ABC, CBS & NBC affiliates in Chicago explained away as just a Gay Seri8al Killer (of course it wasn’t Obama’s ‘Wet Team’, right?)!

    Gee, ya think if even one of McCain’s fellow churchmembers – Gay or Not – were found murdered with multiple gun shots to their heads – we’d probably still be hearing about it???

    Then there’s the FACT that Barry Soetoro (Barack Obama) NEVER, EVER had any girlffiends at anytime during his life – in High School, growing up – or in College – until he was told to marry a fellow radical & female attorney, and known militant lesbian when she was at Princeton University, hmmmmmm!

    But maybe what makes Obama like a ‘Down-Low’ lifestyle – can be attributed to the FACT that his mentor (Frank Marshall Davis) while growing up in Hawaii – openly wrote of his love for having sex with little boys in his book ‘Sex Rebel’, as Davis became the Communist Party USA’S (CPUSA) LABOR ORGANIZER in Hawaii – when Davis wasn’t selling 8 balls of Cocaine from his Chicago Hot Dog cart on the beachs of Wakiki!

    (listen to Chalie Rose – PBS interview of Tom Brokaw on Oct. 30, 2008 to hear Rose ask Brokaw about Frank Davis being a Commie & Obama’s mentor)

    Then we see that after paying her dues to the CPUSA in Kansas by selling bomber plans to East German spies – Madeline Dunham (Obama’s Granny) was fired from her job – lacking espionage charges – but many in TOPEKA, Kansa knew of her treachery & the family’s treasonous activities that the Dunhams left Kansas – first for Seattle – but then all the way to Hawaii – when the CPUSA told the Dunhams that Frank Marshall Davis would help them.

    The help the CPUSA would also come in handy when Obama’s penniless ‘Hippie Mother, Stanley Ann Dunham died from cervical cancer & the CPUSA had the E. German Stasi Intelligence Serice pay for Obama’s undergraduate tuition at Occidental College in L.A. from 1979 to 1981 & at Columbia University from 1981 to 1983 – where the CPUSA also funded Obama’s illegal trip to Pakistan in the summer of 1981 with one of his gay Muslim roommates, Wahid Hamid (now with Pepsico in Purchase, NY)!

    Also missing from your limited Liberal minds – is that besides living with Gay, Pakistani Muslims at BOTH Occidental College & at Columbia – is that Obama’s Gay, Pakistani roommate in New York City (Sohale Siddiqqi – ‘Sadik’ in Obama’s book) – whom Obama actually met in California through his other gay, Pakistani Muslim friends – was a KNOWN Narcotics Trafficker by the DEA & N.Y. City Police!

    In addition – most of yoiu Liberal Obama worshippers – are too Anal-Retentive to know that Obama’s first job out of Columbia was NOT as a Community Organized for the Communist-inspired DCP (Developing Communities Project) of Saul Alinsky – who dedicated his work to ‘Lucifer’ – but Obama’s first job was at the Communist Party Front Organization in New York – called the ‘Bussiness International Corporation’ – as a Business Analyst???

    Later after Community Organizing for Alinsky’s ‘Lucifer-dedicated’ DCP in Chicago – Khalid Al Mounsour (Black Panther) arranged for Saudi Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal to give Harvard $20 Million dollars – thus appointing Obama to head the Harvard Law Review & take care of Obama’s Law school tuition – despite Obama’s previous struggle to even get C’s in his undergrad work – which might explain WHY Obama’s questionable transcripts are HIDDEN!!!

  38. Rules for Radicals: written by community organizer Saul D. Alinsky:
    In the original edition of the book, the preface states the following:

    “Lest we forget at least an over-the-shoulder acknowledgment to the very first radical: from all our legends, mythology, and history (and who is to know where mythology leaves off and history begins — or which is which), the first radical known to man who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively that he at least won his own kingdom — Lucifer.” [1]

  39. All this could be put to rest, no more lawsuits, no more polls, no more angry blogging and vitriolic name-calling if just on thing would happen: release the actual long form birth certificate. Very simple, even liberals can figure it out despite their lack of rationale and reason. Obama could NOT even buy land in Hawaii without that version of the birth certificate.
    The Certification of Live Birth is totally inadequate when it comes to validating that Obama is eligible under Article 2, Section 1 of the Constitution to be President.

    The State of Hawaii provide an concrete example, as to why.

    Hawaii maintains programs to encourage property ownership for native Hawaiians. The Hawaii Department of Home Lands (DHHL), a government agency, oversees these programs and, among other things, must validate that applicants for these programs are, in fact, native Hawaiians.

    Pursuant to the administration of these programs, DHHL states the following on its website:

    “In order to process your application, DHHL utilizes information that is found only on the original Certificate of Live Birth, which is either black or green. This is a more complete record of your birth than the Certification of Live Birth (a computer-generated printout). Submitting the original Certificate of Live Birth will save you time and money since the computer-generated Certification requires additional verification by DHHL.”

    It’s all so simple. I would want the same assurances of eligibility from any candidate for the office, despite color or affiliation.


  40. Hawaiiexpat, this is directed to you and seems to be contradictory to your statement:

    Hawaii maintains programs to encourage property ownership for native Hawaiians. The Hawaii Department of Home Lands (DHHL), a government agency, oversees these programs and, among other things, must validate that applicants for these programs are, in fact, native Hawaiians.

    Pursuant to the administration of these programs, DHHL states the following on its website:

    “In order to process your application, DHHL utilizes information that is found only on the original Certificate of Live Birth, which is either black or green. This is a more complete record of your birth than the Certification of Live Birth (a computer-generated printout). Submitting the original Certificate of Live Birth will save you time and money since the computer-generated Certification requires additional verification by DHHL.”

    SO, according to what you’ve stated in your previous comment, no native hawaiians can buy land, since the state doesn’t issue the “long form”, which is the only one the state accepts….forgive me if I’m trying to impose logic on you.

  41. “What happens when you’re super angry about a Negro somehow becoming president, but there are no longer specific laws against a Negro becoming president?”

    Good effort — can we try something legitimate next time? Or are you having trouble getting over that Jungle Fever..?

  42. It is a shame that the folks that ask for proof are accused of being racist. Why does every argument have to come to race. The fact of the matter is that there is a doubt about his country of origin. It seems as though we should expect a level of honesty from our top statesman. Instead of being proud Americans that care about something this serious, we are going to minimize it and call it racism.

    Such a shame.

  43. I love this blog! Mostly because it proves what conservatives have been saying all along…if you don’t agree with the current dictator, then you’ll be labeled as crazy! I love it! Thank you so much for this blog! I’m telling all my conservative friends!
    You see, instead of doing something constructive like offering solutions, all you know how to do is attack, make fun of, and so on, which is how Obama won the election. The reason you are so bitter is that Obama is tanking and you feel the heat.
    You see, “The Messiah” has everyone believing that he has proven his citizenship. All he has shown is a piece of paper that cannot even get a kid into little league. This is hilarious!
    Just check your Hawaiian law. Certifications stopped being issued in 1972 idiots. They did it for a reason…they’re junk! And were issued to people born outside the US because they are worthless!
    I’ll go ahead and give you a heads up. When Obama’s ratings are in the 30s or so, the courts won’t give a rats ass about letting all of these lawsuits be heard. No one has even had their case heard yet.
    So if you want to dismiss us “Birthers” as crazy, fringe, conspiracy lovers…then go ahead. You can’t deny it much longer. The heat is increasing every day and more and more money is being thrown behind it.
    FACT: Obama has not proven he is a US citizen. Period.
    Just because you want to believe in the fantasy won’t make it go away.

    I’ll leave you with this question: Why Has Barry spent almost 1.5 million to avoid producing a $15 document? Think about it.

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