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Roland Burris Hiding From Feds In Gay Pride Parades

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Run them over, save traditional marriage!Wonkette’s “Gay, In Chicago” Operative “ManofSteel” attended his city’s fancy Gay Pride Parade this weekend, for fun, and who did he see there but U.S. “Senator for Life” Roland Burris! Here’s our leader in some fancy rich man’s car. Didn’t he know that you can get sick at these things?

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • SayItWithWookies

    If that’s a gay pride march, why isn’t the senator in a Miata?

  • AxmxZ

    I was standing on the sidewalk watching the parade with my husband, and this convertible rolled by with some black guy waving a queenly wave to the queens and queen-affiliated. I got to proudly point out our batshit crazy Senator both to my politically uninclined boy and some visiting bloke from Phoenix. There may or may not have been patriotic tears.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Is this what he meant by “Trailblazer” on his mausoleum?

    He’s not the first person who has traveled on the Hershey Highway.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    Did Roland parachute himself there? After all, a gay pride parade is fucking valuable thing, you don’t just give it away for nothing.

  • frumious_bandersnatch

    Someone please tell me a 7-foot drag queen sidled up to Burris at some point and said ‘boo’. Or smacked him with a handbag fashioned from Blago hair.

  • Joshua Norton

    Fugly car. When did everyone get together and decide that cars that looked like steam irons were the epitome of cool?

    Bring back the ’65 Mustang!!!

  • steve

    Senator Roland is gay? Huh.
    Well good for the event organizers for overlooking his being a douchesack and letting him in their parade. They’re a good people, the gays.

  • ph7


  • cal

    He’s chiseling “Martin Luther King of Gay Rights” on his mausoleum right now.

  • Snarkalicious

    What, no boa? No leather chaps? What kind of homosexual is this man?

  • freakishlystrong

    Was Lindsay Graham in one? And if so, picture, pleeeeeeeeeeeze?

  • Extemporanus

    Roland, down the street, smokin’ endo, sippin’ on gin & juice…

  • slappypaddy

    Roland the Heedless Warrior
    (Talkin’ about the man)

  • lizard scum

    Volvo convertibles would be useless in Sweden, where it’s freezing 50 weeks of the year. They must have been invented for rich gay Americans.

  • ChernobylSoup v2

    AmericaBlog endorsing Burris in 3, 2, 1…

  • Zadig

    [re=350502]ManchuCandidate[/re]: He might be the first black senator to do so, though.

  • Zadig

    [re=350520]Extemporanus[/re]: But what is his mind on?

  • Dreadful Gate

    [re=350531]Zadig[/re]: FIVE AND A HALF INCHES, ALAN!!!

  • Tommmcatt

    “Sick” is just one of the MANY things you can get at a Gay Pride Parade…

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=350501]AxmxZ[/re]: I got to proudly point out our batshit crazy Senator both to my politically uninclined boy…

    I trust you ain’t learnin’ him to read & write.

  • Humpback

    Why is there never a parade for the pride of my sexual orientation?

  • qaf

    [re=350553]Humpback[/re]: You’re welcome to start your own (whatever orientation that might be, hope it doesn’t require bloodletting or a new wardrobe). Once we get equal rights some of us might help you get yours, if you’ve misplaced them.

  • assistant/atlas

    [re=350553]Humpback[/re]: Dude, there totally is one for us! It’s called ‘every day all the time’!

  • qaf

    [re=350571]assistant/atlas[/re]: Anywhere an Adam Sandler movie is playing.

  • Sunfire

    Excellent alt text.

  • GinnyRED57

    He’s going to need a bigger mausoleum, the way he’s racking up accomplishments.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Actually, it is not a bad idea. A man who wants to hide in a closet hiding out with people who have come out of the closet.

  • surf-by

    So, I guess we have to wonder about Obama and Blago too. I think every politician in Chicago history has been in that parade.

  • AxmxZ

    [re=350550]hobospacejunkie[/re]: You seem to have lost a part of that sentence. Check Burris’ mausoleum.

  • DagNabbit

    Sing Me a Song, Curtis Lowe, Curtis Lowe…

  • DagNabbit

    [re=350553]Humpback[/re]: The First Annual “We Really Just Want to Bang Chicks Parade”

  • Jukesgrrl

    Hey, the parade committee saw the photo of Roland’s mausoleum that some brilliant Wonketeer blingeed, and they thought he qualified. Is that so wrong?

  • DagNabbit

    [re=350553]Humpback[/re]: We Cum in Blow Holes and You Parade?

  • Scandalabra

    I heard Barry threw a fabulous brunch for teh gays this morning in the East Room. Is it safe to go back on americablog yet?

  • Uncle Glenny

    [re=350735]Scandalabra[/re]: Wait until John takes his tranquilizers. Maybe after midnight for a few hours.

  • Bruno

    What? the licese plates should say trailblazer in that swedish car of death

  • Suds McKenzie

    [re=350519]freakishlystrong[/re]: “Was Lindsay Graham in one? And if so, picture, pleeeeeeeeeeeze?”
    Lindsay was probably chained to a radiator for the weekend.

  • JadedDIssonance

    He was being a total Parade Douche too, people kept throwing beads to him and he was all STOP IT CUT IT OUT RIGHT NOW waving his hands and shit. How can you “march” in Chicago Gay Pride and not expect people to throw beads at you? He didn’t expect to be looking so beadable.