two great tastes that go great together

Alex Jones Announces Inevitable Appearance by Michele Bachmann

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A couple of years ago, Michele Bachmann was the most pro-government pro-president American Patriot in American History, because her beloved George W. Bush was the president, and she loved to stick her tongue right down his throat, and he bombed Arabs like every day, which was awesome.

During her various baby-farming errands, Michele has seen a couple of Arabs here and there in Minnesota and she simply does not care for that kind of thing, in America. Bush and Cheney seemed to have the answer: Bomb them over there so there wouldn’t be Communism in Minnesota, because … “Muslim” means Communist, if you know how to talk Muslim.

And then, somehow, a Muslim-Hawaiian Arab became president, of the United States! And Michele doesn’t care for that, either, not at all. So she is going to appear on famous FEMA-concentration camper and 9/11 truther and Austin Entertainment Legend Alex Jones’ broadcast, “next week,” according to Alex. This will be, without doubt, the greatest broadcast in the history of radio, teevee and the Internet combined.
[Dump Bachmann]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • SayItWithWookies

    To get waterboarded, right?

  • MARCdMan

    OMG, Wonkette’s been scratched out!!1!

  • memzilla

    Ever notice that you never see Michelle Bachmann and Kitty Harris together in the same picture?

  • contentsunderpressure

    This has eached around the world and scratched my bain. A proud moment.

  • iburl

    AWESOME! I hope Alex radicalizes her even further… Maybe she can even cut a promo for filtered water, silver colloid koolaid or post-apocalyptic wheat seeds.

  • paintitblack

    We been pwnd by trolls… mad bc we tell teh troofs n stuff. shine on crazed hackerz tools.

  • contentsunderpressure


  • ManchuCandidate

    Typical of most radio shows these days, Alex will ask embarrassing questions about her sex life and will allow her to plug her crazy ass ideas when she takes off her clothes and shows off her naked body to Alex and his co-hosts while they take calls.

    I suspect most will be of the “Ba-Ba-Booey!! Ba-Ba-Booey!!! Howard Stern’s Penis!!” variety.

  • SnarkNotFark

    I prefer to get my news from Coast to Coast, at least until I can join Art Bell in person.

  • Humpback

    Why is everything lined out. Has Wonkette corrected everything it ever wrote ever?

  • Tommmcatt

    “Michelle Bachmann has been a triumphant voice in the American House.”

    Try saying that three times with a straight face.

  • Noonan


  • Extemporanus

    Sorryfordoingallthelineseveryone. Iwasgoingtosaveacoupleforlaterbutwellheydoesanyonehavealight?

  • Humpback

    [re=350548]Humpback[/re]: OK, now it is not, and I look like an idiot.

  • putinontheritz

    This is the same tone Alex takes while ordering at restaurants. I know, I’m from Austin.

  • YesWeKant

    [re=350548]Humpback[/re]: I think the lining out of everything ever written is an advertising ploy to increase page views by getting us to go back and look at every post, ever, and re-read them to see what’s been corrected. Well, I’d better get started.

  • Extemporanus



    SAT Question: Cap and Trade is to Tyranny what ________ is to Liberty.


    (a) polluting the hell out of every molecule of air and water on god’s green earth;
    (b) uncensored sponsor-less right wing internet radio shows;
    (c) passing “grab the guns” bills; or
    (d) snorting blow off Michelle Bachmann’s botox-hardened forehead.

    I know the answer, but then again I got a 1400 on my SATs. Michelle Bachman got a 950.

  • HedonismBot

    Please make the dingbat go away. She makes my sense of humor hurt.

  • Gopherit

    I suspect that Michelle’s kind of crazy might even be too strident for Alex Jones. She needs to talk to Ickes about the lizard people to be in her element.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Ken, are you implying that George W. Bush (praise be upon him) is no longer President of Earth (America)? He obviously is, since Obama is from the foreign county BlackMuslima.

  • Noonan

    Strange but true: I put on the Alex Jones podcast each night as I crawl into bed. The nightmares have been pretty sweet. It’s sorta like Chantix.

  • freakishlystrong

    I will need to be very liquored up for this. Well, this and everything else….

  • Deepthroat

    [re=350563]Gopherit[/re]: Did you see that even Glenn Beck blew her off as batshit… apologies if this was already posted. I’ve been out of the loop.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    @freakishlystrong: It’s a pleasure to see you, Mr. Michele Bachmann.

  • El Pinche

    [re=350557]putinontheritz[/re]: Yeah, you should see him freak out when they don’t honor $5 dances at Sugars and the Yellow Rose.

  • Extemporanus

    OK sorry, I lied. I didn’t do ALL the lines. I saved enough for a bump or two. Knock yourselves out. I’m good.


  • freakishlystrong

    [re=350564]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: And a pleasure to see you, Ms. Michele!

  • SkimLatteModerate

    [re=350540]memzilla[/re]: True story, until the last 6 months of last year I had no idea they were different people.

  • 2druk2phluq

    [re=350545]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “…Alex will ask embarrassing questions about her sex life and will allow her to plug her crazy ass…” Sounds promising. Will this be on pay per view, or are they just gonna take the FCC fines hit in the name of ratings?

    It was bound to happen:
    If only we could have gotten a couple of those pair onto the tire wells of the Depends Express.

  • Woodwards Friend

    What if Alex Jones and Michele Bachmann farm babies together? Those demon children will have hooves. And a deep understanding of the inherent evils of fiat money.

  • MadFlava

    And this is why the GOP is going downhill. It seems to attract crazy people like Alex Jones and Rush to be there voice. As America becomes more educated and minorities become the majority, the GOP will be left in the dust. A relic of outdated “American” values. Keep doing what your doing right wing because with every passing day you are becoming irrelevant.

  • stew

    Meth kills, Alex.

  • Sarah Palin (







  • stew

    [re=350565]Noonan[/re]: Yeah, his show is great if you view it as a kind of performance art. Beware The Illuninati!

  • J-Man

    So, who is she replacing: Fred Travalena or Billy Mays?

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    @freakishlystrong: I deny everything.

  • Crazybroad

    [re=350565]Noonan[/re]: You should suggest that to [re=350559]Extemporanus[/re].

    Will Wonkette be liveblogging? Do we have any ringers for the call-in (I’m talking to you TexasBullDoggette).

  • gurukalehuru

    I’m confused. Seriously. I am looking forward to it, though.

  • Minnie Mean

    This is great – I was just thinking that what the wingnuts really need is a fat loud angry (white) man to yell on the radio about crazy what-nots.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I have a theory that Jesse paid Norm Colman to be such a bad sport so he would look more sane, and that Norm paid Bachmann to make most of the world look sane.

    Perhaps Bachmann paid Jones to make her look . . . well, not sane, but less bat-shit crazy? Or she just plans to seduce him so that she can churn out the craziest damn special needs child ever.

    [re=350564]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Stop being disprespectful, the country is BlackMuslimastan.

  • blinky_twinkie

    [re=350560]GDTRFB[/re]: I spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out the relationship between “Cap and Trade” and “Tranny.”

    I didn’t get 1400 on my SATs, but I do have a very entertaining mind.

  • the problem child

    [re=350579]Extemporanus[/re]: and more coke and whores? I’ll be there if you will!

  • chascates

    The country may not last long enough for Bachmann to apear on his show. From the infowars web site:
    “Total Takeover Of America Enters Its Final Phase
    The wholesale looting of America and the transfer of wealth and power over to a private banking elite who are setting up a world government, along with the complete obliteration of any remaining freedom to protest, resist, or even speak out against this agenda, is now entering its final phase.”

    I guess it’s too late to do anything but go back to bed.

  • Rumproast

    When did Markos Moulitsas start co-hosting the show with Alex Jones?

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    “Michelle Backman — who’s been a triumphant voice …”


  • FlipOffResearch

    “She literally said … that this was a decision between liberty and tyranny.” douche says, as if that was one of the most profound statements ever. It is just the latest wingnut cliche’. How could regurgitating a cliche’ add one iota to the conversation. I’m getting the impression “liberty or tyranny” is code language for the wingnut revolution they are all fantasizing about. Oh and, Austin was on my short list of potential destinations if Michigan ever fully implodes, not after seeing that radio show.


    [re=350602]blinky_twinkie[/re]: I didn’t get a 1400 either, but in the Wonkette Comment Board Universe (a.k.a. Second Life?), I’m an Ivy League Hero.

    Why does Michelle Bachman makes so many of us think of nose candy? Is it it the Cra-zee Eyes?

  • american mutt

    I’ll be there.

    (i’m doing nothing but MJ quotes for the week)

  • ProfessorJukes

    Pocketknives? Yes, I’m sure there’ll be a knock on the door any day now to search my hiking pack. What the hell?

  • jimmynail

    I thought this was satire and assumed the punchline got lost in the fluffed video edit. Was I wrong?

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=350625]FlipOffResearch[/re]: “…if Michigan ever fully implodes.” If? IF???

  • Don Juanquete

    Why would the census ever want to count her anyway? First she has her tongue down Bush’s throat, then she’s too whacko for Glen Beck, now she’s Jonesin’ for the troofers ….

    Living proof of human devolution.

    Ventura/Bachmann 2012 unless the rapture or Internment camps happen

  • lmj

    Kos, who knows all, says that Bachmann is really on a two-year audition for her future career in wingnut radio/TV for after she gets her keester kicked out of Congress, come next election time.

    So… it makes sense.

  • SnarkNotFark

    Okay, so am I to understand that “Swingers” is really a SNICK propaganda film? Bill Ayers is so money and he doesn’t even know it!

  • FlipOffResearch

    [re=350676]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Well, I mean, at least there’s not roving hordes of the starving overrunning peoples homes and eating them to survive, yet.

  • imissopus

    Wow. That was just…wow.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=350640]american mutt[/re]: If you pull it off, someone should buy you a beer.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=350758]lmj[/re]: Palin & Bachmann would both fail badly as radio or TV hosts. Neither can think on her feet, hence the word salad spew we get when they are teleprompter-less or, in Bachmann’s case, just freestylin’ on the House floor.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    What would a dinner party with Alex and Michele (Michalex?) be like? I imagine she would serve the appetizers and he would eat most of them. For drinks we would have Franzia and cheap gin. Mostly I imagine these two would talk over each other and fight about who hates the government for the Right Reasons before making out on the sectional sofa in front of the guests.

  • lulzmonger

    OMFG — OBAMA DID WTC!!1!1!

  • zhubajie

    [re=350545]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Would you want to see Bachemann naked? I doubt it would be fun, even if you’re from Texas.

    Zhu Bajie