Wonkette
- Last Thursday hundreds of helpless picnic-goers were forced to wear leis and eat lomi lomi salmon while Barack Obama lit cigarettes with a tiki torch. It was the first madrassa-themed congressional picnic, ever. [HuffPost]
- More than 200 mullet-sporting diabetics came to pastor Ken Pagano’s bring-your-gun-to-church-day and wow, nobody got shot! It was a big improvement over a similar event pastor Ken hosted at the Dallas book depository back in the ’60s. [Think Progress]
- If you’ve noticed Michelle Obama skipping around the White House eating crumpets and slicing shit in half with an enormous saber, it is because she thinks she is the Queen of England. Who will shatter her fragile heart and tell her the truth? 1,2,3 …. Not it! [RedState]
- In a new and provocative ad campaign, Amnesty International beats up women when no one’s watching, to help illustrate how sneaky domestic violence is. [Andrew Sullivan]
- The eight Republicans who voted for Cap and Trade — known in more sophisticated bohemian circles as the TR8TORS — have enraged the Teabagging Community. And now the Tea Baggin’ Patriots have rigged up a javascript Doomsday device that will detonate in two days unless the Tr8tors change their vote! [Cap And Tr8tors]
Haven’t the teabaggers ever heard of the Senate? Those post-partisan geniuses will scrub the cap & trade bill of any passages offensive to Big Pollute before handing it back to the house. No need to get all worked up about it.
“[Michelle] also intentionally served a formal dinner to the nation’s governors on mismatched china — 28 years after Nancy Reagan famously complained because nothing matched and proceeded to spend $200,000 on a new set of Lenox. Wow. What a creep.”
Redstate needs an editor. No matter how much of a diva you are it’s nice to have someone read your shit before you post it, just in case you end up typoing your facts, lose continuity… or sound really really gay.
To celebrate our freedoms as US Americans, at our church we hosted a “shoot your own porno” service Sunday.
Sussemilch:
Wow, the vapors! The horrors caused by Mismatched Dining China! Who knew that the fat old culture warrior dunces at Red State were a bunch of little prissy pants Miss Manners.
The closest most Red Staters get to eating off real China plates is when they break out the special “eating” Chinette on Thanksgiving.
Gorillionaire: Was it snuff pr0n?
Want to e-mail the guy behind the 4wes0m3 CapandTr8tors Web site?
robertkgaudet@gmail.com
Have fun!
I imagine that while guns may be welcome in that guy’s church, there are a whole lot of people who wouldn’t be.
Sussemilch: Racial slur. Sanford’s girlfriend is Argentinian, not Chinese.
Sussemilch needs an editor.
We’uns down here in Texas are breathing a sigh of relief when the link to the G.I. Jesus article reveals that the church in question is in Kentucky.
ManchuCandidate: I’m sure all the state execs, especially Gov. Special Needs of Alaska & Gov. Sophisticated Shithead of Texas, recognized this horrible faux pas immediately & alerted Red State via Twitter.
egostatistical: I shall, if only to point out that Wingnutz suck at websites…oh, and fuck you Robert Gaudet.
hobospacejunkie: Nope. Interracial.
Sussemilch: Redstate missed the strangest part of the whole article: Last, she exhorted her staff to find a personal balance. For her part, Obama informed them that she would practice what she preached: She did not intend to work more than 2 1/2 days a week. She was also planning to take off the month of August.
If I am reading this correctly, it appears Michelle is really George W. Bush. No wonder we haven’t heard from him lately.
What, no Spam or poi at the luau? Just what does this Alan Wong really know about Hawaiian cuisine?
How do you strengthen the Republican Party? By calling people traitors if they don’t agree with you on absolutely everything. Have fun fielding those angry phone calls from incoherent, spitting loons, folks!
I thought Pastor Ken’s Dallas bring-your-gun-to-church event was behind the grassy knoll?
There is one more tidbit in this story that reveals the angry, unpatriotic, mean-spirited Michelle we became so familiar with during the late campaign.
Michelle Malkin?
Sussemilch:
“Chillax, honeypie. Read a magazine, watch the kids, and leave the policy to the real officials, will ya?”
Iron my shirt, also.
SayItWithWookies: It’s kind of awesome. I wonder how many Republican staffers will change parties after fielding these calls and seeing what contingent their party really represents…
…well praise teh lord and pass the ammunition.
From the web site: “Mike Castle R (DW)”
Well you certainly don’t want to screw with teabaggers in the great state of DW.
freakishlystrong: Lady who spends time with her kids and doing community service = mean spirited bitch. Lady who writes books titled “In Defense of Internment” = sweetheart (and hawt!)
Mismatched china- what! No wonder Sanford was so depressed he had to go to Argentina. So I didn’t know Redbook had a blog called Redstate. I didn’t read it but did it give hints about how to use the mismatched pieces charmingly so everyone will think you meant it to be that way- or to use really nice paper plates instead? I just love household hints, don’t you?
So Rep. Dingleberry (R, Shithole) can just go change his vote, now? Is that how our system works?
“Mama said the pistol was the Devil’s right hand…”
NotNotLickingToads: She’s a cheerleader, duh.
There’s a script at the bottom of the Tr8tors that is pretty suspicious, it points to a server with a .cn (China) domain name.
Guns in US churches? Seems like a match made in heaven… baby jeebus weeps.
finallyhappy: It turns out that this was the china Michelle used. Apparently Sanford was seated at the “Primordial Goddess” spot and, well, got to thinking about something.
Man, if only one of those guns would have accidently gone off, it would have been like the shootout in “True Romance” where everybody shoots everybody else and there’s only two people to survive
How dare anyone h8te on Mary Bono???? Fuckers.
Did anyone read the comments on the Red State piece and see how there was one who called them to task for them picking on Michelle for the sake of “picking on Michelle”, and was immediately charred ans eaten?
Silly RedState: slicing shit in half with an enormous saber is the province of the Bride, not the Queen.
Zorg: We’ve got this horribly embarrassing story. Y’all can take the next one. I think what kills me the most is the fact that the church was technically in Louisville. I work hard to convince people that I almost maybe kind of live in civilization and a church full of transplanted Bullitt County trash goes and ruins that for me.
hey redstate, your map is wrong. my state is BLUE, muthafuckas.
oh, and go fuck yourselves, by the way.
Shorter Redstate: she’s uppity.
Did those Teabaggers create a new state? What the fvck is DW?
kero: Never attribute to malice what you can chalk up to stupidity, if you follow the link you end up with a frame that takes over the screen with chinese spam, it appears they were hacked by the Commie Capitalists.
kero: not only are they linked to a red commie script, but their counter is from “myflashfetish.com”!
ChernobylSoup v2: But in more of a “get back in the kitchen” way than a “get back in the Colored Bathroom” way. Although they took pains to put Hillary Clinton over her, so they’ve got all the bases covered.
Mild Midwesterner: The state of Dumb Whites should be giving tea baggers more respect.
T Baggers are going to have their next big shin-dig on the 4th of July. I’m thinking they plan to send their small groups into the middle of large crowds gathered to watch fireworks or parades and then count them as part of their “demonstration”.
Anyone want to bet?
Well, about the Congressional picnic: Barry is the son of a Luau tribesman, after all.
Once you see sentences starting with “The story penned by…” you are either reading a high school newspaper, or Redstate
tootsieroll: Fuck Mary Bono Mack. She is an evil fuckface. Yes, I’ve met her and there’s a juicy personal story behind this. And no, I’m not telling. But believe me, she is not a nice lady.
Anyone notice how most of the Rs targeted by the teabaggers are in electoral trouble in tough, competitive districts? Enjoy your soon-to-be 80-member house delegation, Republitards.