Wonkette
At Tuesday’s Obama Press Conference, CBS’ Chip Reid wanted Obama to admit that Lindsey Graham and John McCain were finally knocking some sense into his weak skull about how he needed to yell at/bomb Iran some more. America aids its friends of course! And even though Obama only kicked up his rhetoric a half-degree or so on Tuesday, Ahmadinejad was very quick to condemn America’s meddling. So today all Chip Reid wanted to know was why this idiot Obama would speak so recklessly about Iran’s internal politics — doesn’t he know anything about international relations?? [YouTube]
Chip Reid can’t even pronounce “Ahmadinejad”! It really would have been better if he just stayed home that day, or maybe asked a question about whether Obama was powerless to save the ‘King of Pop’ from himself. Or not.
Women! Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. Its a paradox, I tell ya.
Is President Obama doing too much? And as a follow-up, is he not doing enough?
I thought his name was “Fucking Chip Reid”?
Q: How much wood would a wood Chip chip if a wood Chip could chip wood?
A: Fuck you.
Chip Reid, why do you suck at life?
WHAT a surprise! Pundit outrage at whatever Prez Birther Telepromtr does or dose not do. Well, I’ll be darned.
SayItWithWookies: exactly
Chip can’t pronounce Ach-ma-DIN-a-jahd-baby. More practice in the mirror, Chip!
And remember: “Chip” is preppy-latin for “fuckwad”.
Is there any part of the world, or any issue, that Hopey is not cleaning up the messes of dopey, dickey, and Rummy? Can’t the First Brotjher get a clean shot?
Is the President powerless? No, Chip. He could almost certainly kick your over-coiffed ass.
Who beyond the age of 30 goes by the name “Chip” anyway?
thanks, which is a relevant comment if I helped the stray-lady netnews ultra-source for liberal shrillness, Wonkette, get that up there.
And the Chipster was the main egger-on-er too? Oh Dear. Nice capsule summary of the snot-nosed snot-nosery of this sorry little episode of our useless poisonous press. While brave people are dying, and being tortured in Iran, for human progress and a safer juster world, our worthless press do this!
Is there special course work in journo school for this kind of asshole-ishness?
Time to embed Chip in the 59th Latrine Digging Squadron.
lmj: I get the feeling you’re on the wrong blog. BTW, Wonkette is neither shrill nor a lady–in any way.
Can Obama do nothing right? Seriously, why did we let this socialist, muslin, Jewish-controlled, Kenyan be president? Everybody knows Walnuts would have carpet bombed Kuwait by now to show them how serious we are.
(We invaded Iraq to get back at the Saudi 911 hijackers, so bombing Kuwait is the only solution to the Iranian election protests.)
If Sarah Palin does not want anyone to mock her special-needs baby, she should not allow him to ask questions at White House press conferences.
NJB: Weren’t they on George Carlin’s “List of People I Can Do Without”? Right up there with dudes who harmonize on the Happy Birthday song?
But honestly, you can’t possibly expect Chip Reid to remember what the fuck he was mad at Obama about yesterday. Reid only knows that he was upset about things two or three days ago, and he should probably keep doing so today. Fuck you, Reid, may you rot forever in Ed Henry’s anus, in Gehenna.
BlueStateLibtard: that was supposed to be a joke. And, in truth, I have to clue at all as to what Wonkette is supposed to be. I think half the snark goes over my head. But I glean what I can from it.
ph7: I embedded Chip in a batch of cookies I just made. Deee-lish!
imissopus: Don’t go there… next thing you know she’ll be calling for your head.
Oh, notice the irony of Reid’s dickishness happening on the same day as Froomkin’s last column.
burn them, burn them all.
SayItWithWookies: YES! Sigh. I can’t decide if this kind of incompetence on behalf of the press is better than or worse than pandering.
BTW, though, Achmahwaddyamacallit can kiss my tuchus, after Chip doucebag does. I did note the great Iranian Fakir on the teev yesterday blathering about BirtherKenyan, too, although Achma’s sorry rant got lost in the shuffle of the all-important 24/7 breathlessly concerned SADZ-festival over the loss of that great American, Jacko the clown.
AnnieGetYourFun: In Chip Reid’s mind, it’s probably both.
imissopus: Oh god yes.
ph7: I say we create a new embedded position, JDAM first person correspondent, Slim Pickens style.
FormerDCite: I dare you to say that to someone who escaped from Kuwait, you unbelieveable dickwad. Because I know some of them, and that sort of thing really pisses me the fuck off.
Link no worky.
To compensate, this is from FishBowlDC:
Tweaking Tehran: … [At the a.m. press briefing] Gibbs again echoed that there are “a series of events yet to play out” but said engagement [with Iran} is still on the table, “understanding right now that the Iranians seem preoccupied.” Gibbs threw a counter-punch at CBS’s Chip Reid, who asked whether the WH believes its statements are making a positive difference. “Interesting 180 on an earlier question from earlier in the week,” he said. “Times change,” Chip replied. Gibbs: “Apparently.”
********
“Apparently” is West Wing-dialect for “jump up my ass”.
Hey Chip! Right this very minute on my teevee, a mint shirt and tie-wearing Glenn Beck is tongue-bathing a handlebar mustachioed- William H. Macy about ACORN.
Why are you wasting your time with this whole Iran business when there are so many ACORN nuts out there for you to sink your reportorial teeth into? Glenn’s cheeks may chubby, but he sure as hell ain’t no “Dale.” And yet, he has ACORN all to himself!
Time to get serious Chip. You will regret not being on top of this story come winter.
Chip’s just pissed that he didn’t get to stay at the luau and get some poi <—not a euphemism
Wow, um, making fun of Chip Reid’s reasonable question about a too much/too little response to a gruesome dictatorship that is 4 blocks away from me is so funny that it makes me wish wonkette had decided maybe this was inappropriate and kinda fucked up to post.
Seriously, wtf?
Follow-up: Is John McCain’s firm yet refreshing dump today prompting President Obama to lay off the Mexican?
They should just give Gibbs a taser.
Chip, I summon an armada of dicks to your stupid mouth.
Come here a minute: yeah WTF!!! How dare wonkette mock the press eunichs for asking questions based on false premises and callow motives!! WTF!!!!!!
[Off topic, I know, but I have to get it in before the weekend]
The L.A. Medical Examiner just announced the cause of Michael Jackson’s death: He suffocated in a tunnel explosion.
At least, that’s what I think the spokesperson said.
It was something about “Jacko choked to death while blowing a miner . . . .”
[I know it's bad. I just made it up.]
the first rule of life should be to kick the living shit out of anyone who goes by “Chip” after age 10.
Come here a minute: Seriously WTF. Yes indeed, Seriously WTF. For just one, the premise of the question (”resistance all but crushed”) was wrong. Half the legislators did not even effing show-up for the A-man’s official re-election reception. The leading religious cleric is saying the regime is done quite enough naughty things to send itself to the official Muslim hell for naughty Muslim clerics who mass-kill (he accused the regime of “chain murders” and violations of “every religion and custom”). Moussavi and Karroubi told the protesters to cool it on the streets, while they attack inside the political machine.
But because idiots like the Chipster aren’t seeing cool Youtubes of people getting clubbed to death on the street for one whole day, “resistance is all but crushed”. WH Press Corps = igorant fools.
It was an offensive and stupid re-gotcha as a follow-up to the original offensive and stupie gotcha question.
Blender: He is going to have a serious drinking / glue sniffing problem when this is all over.
imissopus: We have a winner, folks. Close the thread.
Palin, Iraq, Iran, Jacko- what the hell happened to mark Sanford? I am going to spendmy weeked tracking down his true story.
ProfessorJukes: No, “Chip” is Greek for “bottom.”
lmj: I think by “resistance is all but crushed” Chip means that the press got kicked out so if there’s no pretty pictures then there’s no story because you can’t run a story on TV without pictures and Michael Jackson died anyways so who cares about Iran? Irgo ipso facto, sucks to be you Iranians. And since “resistance got crushed” somewhere around the point Obama was forced into saying something about Iran because guys like Chip Reid hounded him too, then irgo ipso facto, it’s all Obama’s fault.
I would like to go hire the flautist for Jethro Tull, and employ him to play their entire catalog up Chip’s ass.
imissopus: jejeje
El Pinche: I believe that you’ve just mad Chip’s weekend.
Maybe I should just be glad old Chipparoo didn’t ask Obama a question about smoking cigs…
Dear Katie Couric,
If you can get Chip Reid fired, I will never make fun of you and your ratings and your lady-journo-parts ever again. Promise.
Sincerely,
Assistant/Atlas
El Pinche: Correction.
I believe that you’ve just made Chip’s weekend a mad, wild and happy thing.
Barkeep, a round of Appletinis, please.
Remember: The object is not to be consistent, not to be constructive, and not even to have anything meaningful to say about the situation, the object is to score points against Obama. That is what these Conservative media types are paid to do (and, most likely, what they get fired for if they don’t do enough of it). They don’t care if their words today contradict what they said yesterday, as long as they manage to provide Rupert Murdoch with some kind of anti-Obama sound bite, their careers as highly paid hate-speakers are secure.
Extemporanus: For any other late night lushes still lurking in this on-its-last-legs loser of a thread, I’m re-submitting my overly-sober tongue twisting riddle from earlier with alcohol-enhanced edits and an open call for alternate answers. If by some misguided miracle there happen to be ten or more viable replies by this time Sunday, I’ll change my avatar for a week in honor of the commenter who submitted the best one. Though something tells me that probably won’t be necessary…
A: How much wood would that fuck Chip fuck if that fuck Chip could fuck wood?
B: ________
S.Luggo: true, an armada of dicks is relative thing.
I bet Chip and “Major Garrett” hang out as in :
“Hark! the teabag hangs low in thy mouth, like a pubescent moon dangling above your warm shoreline.”
As WKRP in Cincinnati scientifically demonstrated, you can actually take a turkey up a couple hundred feet in a helicopter and toss him out the door but them sumbitches dont fly. I mean they try but they know they can’t fly. After a couple of seconds they just give up and plummet. For one brief shining moment, they are a hawk swooping for the prey and then…well, it aint pretty, don’t try this at home.
I know Chipper looks like a reporter cause he gots a pretty mouth, I know he it says “Investigative Journalist” on the waistband of his underpants (well, I don’t actually know that, call it a strong hunch), but I bet if you took him up a couple hundred feet in a helicopter and opened up the door, he’d admit he just gots a pretty mouth, cause see Chip knows he’s can’t fly, just like the turkey. Chip wont even be able to swoop so…I think he’ll deal.
This all started with Joe “Imagine-I’m-A-Plumber”.
“First you don’t want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind!”
dijetlo: While in the Ford White House, Rummy retro-actively approved these interrogation techniques to be used on persons exhibiting sexual, if not intellectual, ambiguity.
That Chip and his ilk continue to exist shows a unique persistence with no cortex needed, much like a jellyfish which stings anything near it.
Evolution is not vertical. Sometimes it stays at a deadend.
What’s with Chip’s suddenly deep, pseudo-manly voice? Is he reading blogs which call him a douchebag little pussy? This would make sense, because he is. Oh and Chip, Gibbs wiped the floor with your ugly butt you retarded fucknutz.
Extemporanus: Answer: 10 cords
Chip’s just auditioning for the Daily Show.
Seriously.
lmj: SHRILL!!!//??? WONKETTE IS NOT SHRILL!!!! and Fuck you!
hobospacejunkie: All sorts of people know all sorts of people who’ve barely escaped from Whereverthefuckistan. Chill.
gurukalehuru: and apologies to imj for saying “fuck you” I hadn’t seen your 2nd post.
A quick trip inside the mind of Gibbs: “Look at this stupid motherfucker. I wonder if this stupid motherfucker knows how motherfucking stupid he is.”
Aw, Chip is so cute when he is indignant. Wait, ignorant. Um- “indignorant”.
gurukalehuru: I was not serious. I was referencing an earlier commenter who actually needed to chill (see linky embedded in my comment.)
I knew this was going to happen! I KNEW IT! “Why are you being silent about this?” / “Yeah okay I’ll speak out against the violence.” / “OMG WHY ARE YOU MEDDLING IN THEIR AFFAIRS?” / “But… wh…”
hobospacejunkie: Dammit hobo, that linked post hasn’t been approved by the official Wonkette meme committee. Where do you get off confusing people with seemingly earnest text that the rest of us (who are, natch, too fecking lazy to check yer linky) have no context for? That way lies madness! The correct response to the original Kuwait comment would have been “I was a prisoner in Kuwait for 5 and a half years, you bastards!” followed by something about trucknutz. Also.
So, three members of the White House press corps walk into a the same bar they walked into last week…
Advocatus_Diaboli: Does the kick the living shit codicil for Charles variants also apply to Chuck or Chas/Chaz (or more extreme Chazz)?
It is my hope, that it does.
foog: This ’start your own internet meme’ bizness is a lot harder than they implied during the infomercial.
hobospacejunkie: Thanks for playing hobospacejunkie. Alas, you were the only one.
Also, I figured the punchline was cord-related as well. I just couldn’t think of a way to make teh funnay. Nor, apparently, could anyone else.