you shall not make for yourself a graven image

Sarah Palin Will Soon Condemn, Bomb Entire Internet

'Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?'
The Virgin Palin, Our Lady of Eternal Anger, gave birth to the New Jesus at some point last year — or not, who knows, and now Andrew Sullivan just cares about Iran (which is a good thing!) so we’ll never find out the truth — and ever since it has been both a Cardinal/Venial Sin and Sharia Law that no mortal shall “desecrate” an image of the Sacred One … no one but Sarah Palin herself, because Allah both allows and encourages the use of the Holy Infant as a cheap political prop as long as such cruel hackery is performed by the Virgin Palin herself.

Palin’s fury was such, when she found out some blog “on the Internet” had combined a picture of her cradling one of her Magic Babies together with a picture of her Jedi Master, some dingbat old radio talk-show clown in Alaska, that she did verily send her dumbest disciple, “Brother Meg,” to start a Jihad against the Entire Internet.

But we know what happens when a fear-and-anger crazed Snow Witch starts a vain war she can never hope to win: The Internet Strikes Back.

Which is to say, Palin basically poked a stick in the world’s largest beehive filled with cheap & tireless insanity, and the SomethingAwful.com goons have unleashed a pack of Photoshop Dogs From Hell to make the most incredible collection of Sarah Palin Desecration Images in the History of Time, the end.

General Bullshit > Sarah Palin thinks photoshopping special needs babies is appalling [Something Awful]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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132 comments

  1. paintitblack

    Whacko-Jacko woulda loved him some bebe Trigger. Too badz MJ’s gone to the happy hunting grounds in the skyes.

  2. Crab1

    The first person to make a site that lets anyone make these wins a million billion internet dollerz.

  3. shortsshortsshorts

    The fact that McCain hasn’t been photoshopped into one of those is both appalling and morally reprehensible.

  4. magic titty

    [re=349474]Keram2[/re]: Cosign.

    Ken, do you think the PUMAs will protest the Internet outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater?

  5. jodyleek

    Hail Sarah, full of crap, you’re boring me.
    Wretched art thou among women,
    And wretched are your Fruit o’ the Looms. Jeebus.

  6. SmutBoffin

    Sarah Palin (as Slymenstra Hymen) cradling a little Sexecutioner is truly inspired.

  7. Texan Bulldoggette

    All right…about to leave for a Girl Scout overnight camp where it’s about 200 degrees, but have to say this as a parent. No one holds their kid like that unless they want people to see his face. I’ve never even seen pics of him/her where they are face to face. I’ve seen people hold sacks of potatoes with more reverence than she totes this kid around with. I’m surprised they haven’t found a way to attach a handle to him so they don’t ever have to touch him.

  8. freakishlystrong

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wingnutz VS teh intertubes! Where’s one with JTP?

  9. Extemporanus

    “Awww….did my widdle ‘Trooper fire off a stinky pooper? That’s OK—your ol’ Uncle Johnny used to do it in his widdle spacesuit alll the time! You just hold on there, big guy…

    Piper! PIPER! Get in here! NOW!!!

  10. bitchincamaro

    Whooooa. Just clicked on that site and my Trend Micro security warning device just tazed me, man. I will not fuck with this bitch or her cretins anymore. I’m out.

  11. rikitikitavi

    We are all special needs babies today.

    Wait, maybe we’re all special needs babies everyday…

  12. jodyleek

    [re=349508]proudgrampa[/re]: I don’t really have anything against her kids, unless they become elected officials.

  13. frailamerica

    Where do I cleaning send the bill for making me shoot coffee out of my nose and onto my shirt with that photo?

  14. dementor

    Yes, Sarah, it’s those blogs on the Internet you have to worry about; the others, not so much.

    And Ken, what a nearly perfect 4-paragraph+illus. divertimento.

  15. WhatTheHeck

    If god wanted us to have stormtrooper babies, she would have made the male appendage to look like a storm trooper’s helme… oh wait!

  16. TGY

    “Which is to say, Palin basically poked a stick in the world’s largest beehive filled with cheap & tireless insanity”

    Thou art, indeed, a great man.

  17. Serolf Divad

    [re=349499]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:

    I’m surprised they haven’t found a way to attach a handle to him so they don’t ever have to touch him.

    Comment of the century!

  18. Guppy06

    [re=349486]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I think Joe the Special Needs Baby would be more apropos, since he was born of the campaign.

  19. BlueStateLibtard

    But there’s only two ways to get attention on CNN nowadays: die or have an affair.

  20. slappypaddy

    Ha. Ha. Ha.

    reckon gubbner Babble Spass never heard that saying about “boxing outside your weight”

  21. agentstinky

    Motherfucker. She makes herself so easy to make fun of, and then anytime anyone makes fun of her, she gets “offended” and makes a public statement about it, which causes people to make fun of her even more. But no publicity is bad publicity; she’s just trying to make everyone remember her till 2012 and gather in the wingnuts who actually agree that whatever has offended her is “over the line.”

    i haet u sara paylin

  22. Wet Work

    Ahhh … sweet respite from the Jackothon … thou art a balm for my tortured soul, Wonkette.

  23. finallyhappy

    Yes, truly, this is worse than the man who smashed the Pieta- because we know that Sarah is the true Madonna

  24. norbizness

    If she was living as God had intended Alaskans to, in fur-lined tents feasting on whale blubber without any internet connection, this could have all been avoided.

  25. ivenson

    Seeing it so many times, one after another…gosh, that lady has a lot of chin. Just a whole lot of chin. Tiny face on a big head.

  26. YesWeKant

    I am shocked and disgusted… that none of these include the original famous special needs baby Sean Hannity.

  27. Native of SL UT

    Here’s what I want to know. If Sarah is now spending all of her time watching TV and Searching the Internets for people making fun of her, who the hell is watching for Putin’s rearing head? We could all die, you know.

  28. PerhapsSo

    Trigg as Lord Voldemort is quite timely, since as any HP fan knows, the new movie comes out July 15!

  29. the problem child

    [re=349649]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You have exposed me! *disappears in a puff of sulpherous smoke*

  30. Min

    “Governor Palin. I should have expected to find you holding Trig’s leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.”

  31. RiccotaCheeseImperator

    Venial. It’s venial sins. Also mortal sins. The cardinal sins, despite what they sound like, are not the favorite sins of the princes of the church, but the fountainheads of sin, pace Ayn Rand.

  32. DustBowlBlues

    The caption on the original photo should be, “Look! I didn’t abort this funny looking retard!”

    We get it, bitch. Now will you quit exploiting that innocent child?

  33. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    And there were in the same state oil workers abiding in the field, keeping watch over their rigs by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of Wasillia a Special Needs Child, ‘Tis Trig the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, on the stage with his mother. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising Palin, and saying, Glory to Palin in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.’ That’s what Republicanism is all about, Charlie Brown.”

  34. dijetlo

    Which is to say, Palin basically poked a stick in the world’s largest beehive filled with cheap & tireless insanity

    You say that like it’s a bad thing. If Todd can get a hummer once in a while from the Mrs I can only say, god bless him, it aint like there’s anything worth listening too coming out of it so why not stuff something in it?

  35. WesternCorrespondent

    [re=349516]Extemporanus[/re]:

    It’s a matter of record that Piper Palin’s full name is Piper Indy Grace Palin.

    If you’d ever had any doubts about whether or not Sarah and Todd Palin were playing will a full deck, that ought to make up your mind.

    Only the cruelest of parents would name their kid with the initials P.I.G. Palin.

    Now I have to check out Willow’s name: Willow Bianca Faye Palin. Hmmm. W.B.F.P.?

    Don’t know what Bristol’s is, but her son’s is Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. T.E.M.J. — or, if she uses the Palin last name, T.E.M.P.

  36. Ennealogic

    10 Commandments, Revised Down to Five

    1. Thou shalt never make fun of a Palin.
    2. Thou shalt never question the parentage of the Holy Child Trig.
    3. Keep all days on which the Holy Mother Sarah Palin appears in the media to express Her outrage well- and favorably-reported.
    4. Any who question the ethics of the Holy Mother Sarah Palin shall be beheaded or at least cast out into the ‘unreal’ America and despised from that day forth.
    5. Love the Holy Mother Sarah Palin above all things, for it is She who wilt deliver us from the evil Democrat party and their host of Alinsky-worshiping demons.

  37. Iwo Bama

    Q Whats the difference beyween sarah Palins Mouth and her vagina ?
    A. Only 1 retarded thing came out of her vagina

  38. Iwo Bama

    Q What is the Difference between Sarah Palins Mouth and her vagina ?
    A Only one retarded thing came out of her vagina

  39. das gelbe gehfar

    [re=349808]Iwo Bama[/re]: what, it was so funny you had to post it twice?

    You know, I remember being embarrassed by my mother from time to time when I was a kid. I wonder how the Palin kids feel… being embarrassed by their mother on a daily basis and all.

  40. get real

    Sarah Palin is such a miserable and contemptible fraud.

    Take a look at the pics of her as VP candidate on stage with Trig in one hand and a microphone in the other while giving speeches. No, she doesn’t use her family as political props. Never.
    What a hypocrite.

    She is the worst kind of child exploiter. Using her own kids for pure self-promotion.

    A “Pitbull with lipstick” she aint. “Sarahcuda”, not so much.
    Palin won’t even say “Fuck You!” to the those who know The Truth about Trig. She won’t do WHATEVER it takes to protect her very own family. Amazing. It would take her seconds to whip out the baby pics, medical records and birth docs and give all her critics the world over the big middle finger – with both hands. But of course she can’t – because she is NOT the birth mother of Trig Palin.

    Palin is the worst kind of coward. And the worst kind of mother.

  41. dementor

    [re=349744]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Now I get her some-would-say-reckless-and-life-endangering need to get to Wasilla, to fulfill the prophecy. Thank you, Mr. Hutz, Esq.

  42. assistant/atlas

    [re=349808]Iwo Bama[/re]: jejeje! I will be using that to amuse all of my communist pinko California gay muslin friends.

  43. chazmotic

    Soooooooo, am I the only one that knows it’s Sarah Palin’s kid that’s special needs and is named Trig and that her daughter Bristol named her son Tripp?

    Is it weird that no one cares to get anything right?

    Wow.

  44. wonderboom

    seriously: sarah? palin? god, i love her. and she IS hot. i’d put down my jergins and do her!

  45. El Pinche

    [re=349925]El Pinche[/re]: Refreshed. I added spider legs . Oh! the PUMAs will love it!

  46. DustBowlBlues

    [re=349567]Wet Work[/re]: At risk of being painted evil for this one, I’m sort of tired of the Jacko coverage–my boredom with it set in 10 minutes (being generous) after it happened.

  47. Bruno

    If someone could photoshop those glasses off of the GILF then she’d be hottt with her grandchild.

  48. Bruno

    when will sarah palin’s website go offline line Joe the Plumbers? Oh, she actually has a job and can afford the $10 bucks a year ISP fees. Good for her and her kinfolk

  49. Who_Knew_2

    [re=349462]Serolf Divad[/re]: I cannot think of a better way to describe palin. Great Job!!!!

  50. mfirebrand1

    Why would you post something so cruel and stupid and on the Iranelection site of all places? Not cool.

  51. Zorg

    I am having so much fun sending the Palin & Whatever images out into the cyberspace world from this link. Especially to the people who forward me right wing nonsense. I worship you, Wonkette! Can we have a quiet dinner at Citronelle? Will you wear those glasses?

  52. patrick12344

    This whole episode is even more disgusting if you take the fact into account that Trig is not Sarah’s, but Bristol Palin’s baby.

    Lots of people in the media know it by now, and it’s only a matter of time until the truth will be revealed in public.

  53. Notalib

    Hey just wondering is there someway possible for all you progressives to just get aids and die, it would make America a much better place.

  54. DMOCKERCY

    Hey all you fuctards that have to make yourselves feel better by picking on a Down’s Syndrome baby- go-fuck yourselves.

    Your right to vote should be immediatly revoked due to being so small and stooping, sorry, I meant diving down to that level.

    What’s wrong, somebody who talks the talk , and walks the walk too much for your retarded libtarded ass injected democratic drones too much to handle,so you pick on an infant? You should be ashamed of yourselves, but your I.Q. of less than 61 makes that impossible.

    With any luck,all your fingers will break off in a nasty car accident,because some gay libtard couple engaging in oral sex with each other will ram their micro-mobile smart car up your ass , making it impossible for you to think–ooops it already happened.

    stfu

  55. Pithaughn

    Where is the one of Caribou Barbie holding the cute little clown that slashes so rightously, the little Chuckie? Seems the most obvious spinoff to me.

  56. El Pinche

    [re=350765]DMOCKERCY[/re]: zzzzZZZzzz. Where’s the pizazz? Where’s the CAPSLOCK ?? You fail at trolling, and you fail at life, my son.

  57. Mamabear

    “Please keep your comments relevant to the post and try not to be terribly offensive. You may be banned at any time, for any offense — but if you’re smart and funny, you’ll be fine.”–Wonkette guidelines

    Please tell me what is funny about making fun of a child who has Down’s? Or that isn’t offensive? What about President Obama’s pointing out that the families of political candidates were off limits, or does only apply to the Obamas and Bidens?

    I find satire funny when it is funny, but mocking a baby is beyond tasteless.

    Where is all the compassion of liberalism? Is it selective? Please, do help me to understand why this is humorous, hip and relevant?

  58. the problem child

    No snark, no fun. Righteous indignation? Fuck you thoroughly and deeply in your chosen orifice (probably for the first time in your miserable lives), Palinbots.

  59. Mayflower American

    This is a message for all the people that hate Sarah and make fun of little Trig.Make sure YOUR CHILDREN are safe. After all something just might happen to them. Anyone who would make fun of a special needs child, needs to be punished by God.Also, Obama’s two kids look like CHIMPS!

  60. lulzmonger

    Palin whines, the goons shoop, repeat ad hilarium – ah, the circle of life!

    Bonus points for attracting butthurt trolls … how DARE you mock a drama-whoring mother of a little baby that doesn’t have a clue it’s being used as a stagecraft kludge to prop up her fading fame?! You MONSTERS!1!1!

  61. El Pinche

    [re=350974]Mayflower American[/re]: Hahaha, yes exactly! Murder our children and damn our liberal Souls in the Eternal Fires of Hell for photoshopping !! Oh and yes, and top it off with racist gorilla jokes. Yep, that sums up the Palin groupies.

    And here’s the funny part. I modified the stormtrooper pic and not the original retard pic. Do you still wish murder upon my children? Is Holy Damnation to Limbo only? Are my children dirty wetbacks?

  62. Mad Farmer Manifest

    [re=350974]Mayflower American[/re]: Oooo, we have a racist Orange order genocidal madman here. Step outside, motherfucker. I have a millenium of scores to settle with your type.

    [re=350522]Notalib[/re]: [re=350765]DMOCKERCY[/re]: [re=350974]Mayflower American[/re]:
    Too stupid to realize that Palin is the target here? Or are you all just pretending to be that stupid? Personally, I’d be too ashamed to speak if I was a mouth breathing imbecile like you folks. If you are going to bother to show up, be funny. Otherwise, go back to jerking off to pictures of Jonah Goldberg.

  63. Track-A-'

    You people are disgusting. Are you proud of yourselves for posting comments like these? Does your political stance justify such abhorrent remarks?

  64. toni0117

    none of you imps are clever in the least. you’re not insulting palin, you’re insulting a handicapped child and by extension ALL handicapped individuals. your inclinations are that of your Eugenics practicing ancestors. you can’t help yourselves, it’s genetic–the only way you can feel superior is by hurting or eliminating those you perceive as ‘inferior.’ the same thing was done to blacks and every other ‘minority’ throughout time. On youtube.com there is a documentary “Maafa Black genocide in the 21st Century.” Watch and recognize what you are.
    Leftists propagated the Eugenics movement and continue it to this day. Your crude comments reveal you as the inhumane refuse that you are. –your psychological perversions have NOTHING to do with sarah palin.

    Toni

  65. smartypants

    [re=352140]toni0117[/re]: Lego Jesus haz a sad because of your abuse of quotation marks. Silver lining: It’s confusing to imps.

    Neat thesis on the Eugenics thing.

    Good job, Toni! Also111!!1

    The Creator

  66. toni0117

    notice that you got rid of the closehanger and ugly baby photoshops–can’t imagine why. Also what happened to the bit on andrew sullivan? you people should stand firm in your bigotry. don’t just think it, have the balls to represent!

  67. toni0117

    notice you deleted the clotheshanger and ugly baby photoshops. and what happened to the bit on andrew sullivan? you people should stand firm in your bigotry. don’t just think it, represent.

  68. antoineclarke

    Is that the best you can do? Lame.

    If the stormtrooper is some kind of hint of Nazism, how come the people who are accused of being Nazis are the ones AGAINST eugenics, and the people supporting eugenics are the ones calling out “fascist.” Seems like disinformation to me.

    As someone who would possibly have been gassed by real Nazis, and who had a relative executed by them (he was a hostage that was murdered because a prisoner escaped), I find the attacks on a woman (for not having an abortion) at the very least silly. Next you’ll be supporting some idiot who calls for conservative women to be gang raped. I honestly don’t recall your stance on that story, but I hope you condemned it. http://www.redstate.com/absentee/2009/06/02/the-playboy-article-nsfw/

    There was me thinking pro-abortion people were in favour of choice. I guess “choice” is just a propaganda tool for collectivists to chip away at individual rights.

    I used to consider abortion of a Down’s Syndrome foetus an unfortunate idea but on the whole the right thing to do. Until I traveled to work every day for a year on a train in London with a young woman who had the condition. Most people in the train were grumpy, cramped, seemed pretty miserable. She on the other hand listened to her music and seemed happy. I certainly do not have the right to decide if she had the right to live. And I don’t think you do either.

    However, call me a bleeding heart if you like, but I would not condone physical threats or any assault on you, simply for being wrong on an issue. Let’s see how sane your readers are.

  69. mickster99

    Palin is a mentally crippled individual. When an autopsy is performed after she dies they will find that only the basic reptillian brain had formed and the parts of the cerebullum having to do with greed, avarice, lying, and the need to dupe those stupider than she is was grotesquely enlarged and malformed. Really. Trust me on this one.

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