Wonkette
Well, that’s what this dingus gets for not carrying around a pocket-sized copy of The Communist Manifesto, which was pretty clearly published in 1848, MANY MOONS after the drafting of the Constitution. At a recent appearance in Wausau, Wisconsin, he said that the Founding Fathers “knew socialism doesn’t work. They knew communism doesn’t work.” On the other hand, the Founding Fathers knew two things did work: leeching, and slavery. [Wausau Daily Herald]
James Madison had serious reservations about Cap and Trade.
The founders knew that Dianetics works.
Joe has nothing to lose but his chains to reality.
Anyone who hosts a speech by Joe the Plumber, gets what they pay for. A guano faucet
“…and you know what else they hated? Clogged sinks! I should know, I’m a… oh, that’s right.”
Apparently Joe “the-unlicensed-contractor-who-likes-to-tell-people-he’s-a-plumber” doesn’t work either.
Go snake a toilet, nimrod.
Why has he not been arrested for being to stupid to live??
Joe and his girl Sarah know a few things about leeching too.
For the love of Christ, will someone not seal this douche with caulk already?
Wait — didn’t he die yesterday?
Why don’t we know how Joe the Plumber feels about Michael Jackson?
Has Joe just had a nose job or did he run out of proactiv before this photo was taken and had to cover his horrible complextion with band aids a la Merv in that terrible Sin City movie?
Apparently, the high energy retardation emitting from his brain has burned off his hair.
Will someone please ask the Federalist Society whether the founding fathers knew that Joe the Unlicensed (thanks dijetlo)does not work?
Considering the event at which he spoke was called “Pints and Politics,” I think that alcohol had the louder voice.
And since the “rental” of alcohol provides him with his (unlicensed) living, he does have a dog in this fight. Unfortunately, this dog is a lobotomized Pomeranian with a drooling problem: you know how dogs look like their owners.
Short version: PoliSci Fail.
“the only thing that separates Stalinist Russia from what we have in Washington right now are the re-education and death camps.”
I think I’d be in favor of the re-education part.
The founding fathers knew that slaves made sexytime hot.
dijetlo: Wingnut libertarian survivalist sovereign citizen plumbers don’t need licenses.
The Founding Fathers also knew that letting women and the landless vote definitely doesn’t work.
LLLOLOOLLL at you fuking retards!! Joe the Plumber scoffs at you libtards and yor nolej based edumakashun. He nos that REAL US Amerikans don’t red so they woodent looc that shat up anyway. Hahahahahaha!!!
Don Juanquete: I dare you to say that to someone who escaped the Soviet Union, you unbelieveable dickwad. Because I know some of them, and that sort of thing really pisses me the fuck off.
Somewhere, there is a flaming bag of dicks with this douche’s name plastered all over it.
CorkPopper: Mouth teeth made of wood and powdered head merkins, also.
Don Juanquete: Uh, just to clarify, that comment was directed to Joe, not you.
Clearly Joe is referring to François-Noël Babeuf, French revolutionary and leader of the Conspiracy of the Equals in 1797, which many historians consider the first communist movement. Of course it Babeuf never used the terms socialist or communist and his ideas still come years after the Constituion. So I guess Joe is still a gigantic and embarrising retard.
I just want to note that SKS is on a roll today.
Don Juanquete: You got a problem with death camps? Are you a fucking Kulak, too, mister?
Anyhoo, Stalin technically didn’t have death camps. He had ‘happy camps.’ No wait. He had work camps. What are called Gulags. Where lots of people died. But Joe the Fucknutz ain’t got time for dirty details. He just knows them big bad things that sound like ‘jism’ are bad.
“Wurzelbacher has a reputation for being a blunt, politically incorrect speaker.”
Delete the word “politically” and it will read better.
John Hancock was against intergalactic space travel.
This is the most ridiculous case of misplaced celebrity ever. I mean seriously, people actually want their pictures taken with him?! I had thankfully almost completely forgotten about the whole 2008 election business which bothered us all for so long, that is until the Ice Queen recently returned to the spotlight with her successful campaign to get David Letterman fired. I seriously had not thought of her in months, and was truly sad to be reminded of her. That goes double for JtheP. 2008 is OVER, NOBODY remembers those characters who lost it, YOU ARE EVEN MORE FORGETTABLE THAN THEY ARE, GO AWAY.
No, no. Joe is right. One only has to consult Thomas Jefferson’s Twitter feed.
“‘Historical materialism’ = commufaggotry. (Also, just saw Transformers II. It ROCKED!)”
Posted 209 years ago, from pamphleteer’s office
P.S. I feel a little ill knowing that JtP is in the same state as I, and that some folks around here are INTERESTED in what he says (and not just to laugh at the words coming out of his denuded, swollen cranium, either).
Shouldn’t that not-Joe the not-Plumber poster read “It’s About US the People,” not “We the People”? I’m sure he’d want it to be grammatically correct and all.
Looks like someone is ready for his very own Washington Post editorial column.
Don Juanquete: I’d settle for just regular education camp, with mandatory Calculus and Differential Equations.
Benjamin Franklin had a time machine, okay? This was clearly outlined in the documentary “Bill and Ted do Debbie in Dallas”. Sheesh.
How do you find these things- I mean the Wausau Daily Herald? Is that one step below the PennySaver?
— “Obama right now is talking about, he can generate more revenue by taxing the top 2 to 3 percent of Americans,” Wurzelbacher said. “Well, you know, that’s immoral. Just because someone’s worked hard, gotten ahead ….” —
And you find yorself in this group how, Joe?
They also thought 13″ cannons were WMDs, that counting blacks as 3/5 of a person was a reasonable compromise, and that the US shouldn’t have a standing military, “Joe”.
What a coincidence, JTP predates the origin of the species by many moons, also.
ManchuCandidate: you shat up, yer pance!
The term ‘communist’ had been floating around for a while before Marx. He just integrated it into theoretical Marxism. Of course, this doesn’t make Joe any less of a dumbass.
Joe I’m-not-really-a-Plumber and all those other US Americans are so anti-communist they probably don’t even bleed red! That’s patriotism, people! Are YOU ready to make that kind of commitment????
Seriously, though, won’t someone PLEASE make him go away?
After speaking, Wurzelbacher signed autographs and posed for pictures with the crowd.
I don’t know which is more apalling, that Joe the Conservative is still relevent, or that there’s a “crowd”, that wants autographs and pictures with him. Define “crowd”.
This sack of crap said ‘Merica is 170 yrs old last week. Time off for good behavior?
If America was like stalinist russia all these douchebags would be building a canal in alsaka in winter with shovels.
Constitution signers Dan of St. Thomas Jenifer of Delaware and William Few of Georgia, thd founders of communism, were later hanged for being warlocks, muttering warnings about automatic weapons, color televisions, muslin presidents, and ignorant plumbers in public debate.
The founding Fathers were socialists, dipshit.
Remember that thing about equality, freedom from the monarchy., etc.
Joe, a perfect match for Sarah Palin.
A perfect fit for the GOP.
Joe Wurzelbacher: Human Tonsillolith.
bureaucrap: “Politically Incorrect”: adj. rightwing-speak for (a) racist (b) nativist (c) stoopid.freakishlystrong: Three, including some old guy with an American flag on his hat and heavyset woman with a “Nobama” button.
Joe is actually right about this. The Founders were true, red-blooded Americans. It is just a shame that Christians were all flaming pinkos:
And all those who had believed were together, and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions, and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Acts 2:44-45
Joe who? Did I miss something?
The Founders set up the presidency and senate to be elected only by indirect means, wisely setting up a system where the Joes of the world couldn’t find a soapbox.
John Adams did create the internet, though. Also.
Wausau…near Appleton, home of Joe the Arch Anti-Communist.
finallyhappy: it was my fault.
i just wanna say that my county and state went blue in november, so don’t judge us based on the minority of assholes who still like this guy. however, you may continue to judge us by our affinity for wacky alcohol-induced hijinks… http://wonkette.com/409410/
Acorn Stormtroopers will be rounding up all the plumbers and herding them to death camps as soon as the census is complete and we know where they live.
finallyhappy: I dare you to say that to someone who escaped the Wausau Daily Herald, you unbelieveable dickwad. Because I know some of them, and that sort of thing really pisses me the fuck off.
Reading about Joe Würtzelberger is like having leeches applied to my balls.
The Founding Fathers knew that drain snakes worked! And socket wrenches! And one-inch hair clippers! Our educational system, maybe not so much.
So, in your 16th minute, you do this.
You libtards are soooo dense: Clearly the founding father knew that Communism doesn’t work, which is precisely why they opted not to invent it!!!!!
Referring to Sen. Chris Dodd, D-Conn., more than once, Wurzelbacher asked, “Why hasn’t he been strung up?”
I wonder if it’s a crime to call for violence to be perpetrated against Senators? What the hell, the FBI busted someone the other day for threatening judges.
Dreadful Gate: Well handled.
hobospacejunkie: SOS…I’M 4 BLOCKS AWAY…CAN’T ESCAPE !!!
You no know American history? Son… I am disappoint.
I totally has a sad for American history right now, also.
19kevin8: And Button Gwinnett invented the lap dance.
as.the.world.burns: WAIT FOR HELP. DON’T TRY TO BE AN HERO!
I guess there are slow news days, and then there’s news days that have been kicked in the head by an irate mule and fallen into a deep coma.
queeraselvis v 2.0: This made my day!
The time is wrong. It should be 4:20.
Yes, but I’ll bet Joe the Plumber has never flown down to Argentina to play “hide the salami” with some beauty with at least two fabulous anatomical parts. Might make him qualified to be elected by the good people of S Carolina to replace their outgoing guvner.
Mr Blifil: Except less fun.
http://www.wausauteaparty.com/
I should known it was something to do with Teabaggers.
Everyone knows that the Commies were just laying low back then, because they knew that George “Motherfucking” Washington was on the prowl.
hobospacejunkie: You have firmly established your complete and eternal conquest of the morning.
They walk, they talk, and sadly, they breed.
Zadig: Time for a nap then. The xanax & klonopin are starting to kick in.
Joe has sucessfully decoded the hidden messages in Constitution using the secret Masonic ring and John Adams’ toenail pick. Not only does it say communism doesn’t work but it accurately predicts the 1969 Mets world series victory (along with the invention of baseball), hurricane Katrina and Gov. Sanford’s hiking adventure. Laugh all you want while Joe buys GM stock in anticipation of their 2012 merger with Toyota. And if Jerry Bruckheimer’s reading, the screenplay rights are available.
Yea, Joe or Samuel or whatever the hell your going by these days, the Native Americans sure had a hard time existing here without the Founding Fathers bring them Capitalism; The Native Americans have a lot to be thankful for. Where would the Native American Tribes be without capitalism eventually bringing them their Indian Casinos and Smoke Shops? Screw Socialism with a philosophy of being One with nature, give me a cigarette and slot machine!
Capitol Hillbilly: rolling sks, oh the dreams for tonight when no one from the office can see me.
Carrie_Okie: 170 years cause the first 40 was some sort of socialst revolutionary state in the same place the US is now.
bureaucrap:
I prefer:
Wurzelbacher has a reputation for being a blunt,
politically incorrect speakergreasy fuckstick.The 100% American is 99% idiot. - G.B.Shaw.
I live four blocks from Wausau, also from Michaal Jackson
I think Joe the Blunt Greasy Fuckstick (I admit, that does have a certain ring to it) needs to have his own cable TV show on FOX. Maybe when they fire Glenn Beck for not being insane enough.
The Founding Fathers didn’t believe in Global warming, evolution, and a single payer health plan. Therefore Founding Fathers=Republicans. I’m almost as smart as Joe the non-plumber.
Dear Joe,
What happened to your website? I was an active commenter, being a non-plumber and all, but you’ve let me donwn and all mt ILLTELECKTUALZ COMMERENTERIZ is gone/
http://www.secureourdream.com/
Serolf Divad: But Ben Franklin did invent adultery, which is why Republicans celebrate it to this day.
Bruno: http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=3839 Joe, Joe where are you?
I demand Joe shows us pixxx of his kids he claims to have that he has to keep away from the gayz.
Personally, I think he’s a virgin. Or even better, he has black kids
FormerDCite: The founding fathers also did not outlaw, by way of consitution, waging religious crusaides or regulating Ponzi schemes. Go founding fathers! (no mothers or coloreds allowed)
Crab1: Don Juanquete: I’d settle for just regular education camp, with mandatory Calculus and Differential Equations.
I’d also settle for a regular education camp, with mandatory reading of anyone born at least 100 years ago.
I also love that people are conducting some sort of free night school American History seminar for nobody in particular in these comments.
Truly deserving of his reputation as America’s greatest scholar.
Joe The Plumber aka Samuel Wurzelbacher: America’s real life Homer Simpson.