OK JULI ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?  4:12 pm June 25, 2009

by Ken Layne

Heaven knows I'm miserable now ...NEW YORKER STAFFERS QUITE FAMILIAR WITH EXCLUSIVE NEIGHBORHOOD OF MARK SANFORD’S MISTRESS: Sparkin’ Sanford’s Buenos Aires’ pied-à-terre is in a rather lovely area where the better people congregate. “The well-kept doorman buildings feature underground parking garages and balconies. It’s winter now in Argentina, but in summer you can smell the animals in the zoo across the street from my grandfather’s balcony—and from Maria’s place as well, no doubt. Guido’s bar and restaurant at 2843 is probably the street’s most iconic feature, a quirky Italian place with no actual menu, where you are at the mercy of your waiter. The surrounding neighborhood, Palermo, is a fashionable residential neighborhood featuring a large namesake park, a major shopping district, bars and restaurants. We’ve yet to find out much about Sanford’s mistress, but the charms of her neighborhood are obvious.” [New Yorker]

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 32 comments }

Fox n Fiends June 25, 2009 at 4:17 pm

I find it wholly treasonous that Mark Sanford couldn’t see fit to get it on with some fine American coochie, and had to go and support a known nazi-haven maven where those illegal immigrants come from.

paintitblack June 25, 2009 at 4:18 pm

All the better neighborhoods world-wide feature the scrumptious smells of zoo shit.

Crab1 June 25, 2009 at 4:18 pm

but the charms of her neighborhood are obvious.

She has a nice rack.

Come here a minute June 25, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Juli was looking for a job and then she found a job?

Tommmcatt June 25, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Being at the mercy of the waiter in an Italian restaurant somehow sounds delightful, don’t you think?

magic titty June 25, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Kudos on The Smiths alt-text Ken, but I was thinking ‘Barbarism Begins At Home’ or ‘The Boy With The Thorn In His Side’.

Vanity Smurf June 25, 2009 at 4:23 pm

It still counts as slumming because he went to a slightly brown country.

WhatTheHeck June 25, 2009 at 4:24 pm

Don’t cry for me Appalachia.
Truth is, I never left you
All through my wild years
my sad existence

rambone June 25, 2009 at 4:25 pm

When do we get to see pictures of Sanford pushing his mistress in a tire swing?

boatapple June 25, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Wow, Ballston with zoo smells and no menus. That sounds “upscale,” and “leafy”!

sezme June 25, 2009 at 4:31 pm

Mmmm zoo poo. Sounds hawt!

dijetlo June 25, 2009 at 4:31 pm

pied-à-terre

You’re just trying to bring down the Googles with all this French/Argentinian babble, aint ya?
Couple posts ago, it was German.
Have you considered the possibility you’re “speaking in tongues” and just don’t realize it?

Mr Blifil June 25, 2009 at 4:32 pm

I hate to make snap decisions based on a few blurry photos but with the bad dye job, crass leather pants and bulky zip sweater/t-shirt action I’m thinking much hot hot buttsecks was had. Oh and if you’re multilingual it means you swallow.

TGY June 25, 2009 at 4:34 pm

Wake up and smell the hippo.

SayItWithWookies June 25, 2009 at 4:35 pm

Sounds like the sort of street Peggy Noonan could walk down and get a sense of things by window shopping the gift-wrapping boutiques. Does one sense an anticipation, a palpable bating of breath down in the Palermo salons? Might it be a measure of the squalor — maybe economic but also moral — to which Argentina has fallen that the Maria peccadillo is evoking quiet tut-tutting amongst her neighbors, both in remonstration and sympathy? We will think about this as the mighty Hand of God carries our airplane back to sultrier climes.

One Yield Regular June 25, 2009 at 4:35 pm

Ugh. What the hell happened to the New Yorker? Do they get their writers from Politico now?

Surely this can’t be ALL Tina Brown’s fault.

The Cold Sea June 25, 2009 at 4:41 pm

I remember Oscar Bonavena. He was no Joe Frazier.

Mild Midwesterner June 25, 2009 at 4:46 pm

And this poon comes with a lovely three bedroom walk-up and includes a modern kitchen with granite counter tops.

Vanity Smurf June 25, 2009 at 5:04 pm

[re=348454]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Minor quibble: airplane = mechanical falcon in the language of Her Grace, the Duchess of Nooninghamtonshire.

S.Luggo June 25, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Is it too late to submit this for a Pulitzer?

CthuNHu June 25, 2009 at 5:11 pm

I’m sure it was only a memory lapse that the New Yorker didn’t mention Kim y Novak, where any REAL Republican would have gone for a little exotic something on a weekend Palermo fling:

http://www.zimbio.com/Buenos+Aires+Argentina/articles/117/Feature+Kim+Y+Novak+Coke+Hot+Gay+Boys+Yes

S.Luggo June 25, 2009 at 5:17 pm

“It’s ____ now in _____, but in ____ you can smell the _______.—and from Maria’s place as well, no doubt.
______’s is probably the ____’s most _____ feature, a quirky _____ with no actual ____, where you are at the mercy of _____.
We’ve yet to find out much about Sanford’s mistress, but the charms of her _______ are obvious.”

PrairiePossum June 25, 2009 at 5:19 pm

“I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light — ”

Funny, Sanford never mentioned the zoo poo. We want pictures of the tan lines, the curvy hips and the magnificent parts. Where the hell is Larry Flynt when you need him? Never depend on The New Yorker to properly cover a political sex scandal. Only Larry can do this story justice.

dementor June 25, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[re=348446]dijetlo[/re]: It’s not a problem till it’s in Urdu poetic meters.

Mr Blifil June 25, 2009 at 5:21 pm

[re=348524]S.Luggo[/re]: I just played MadLibs with that and blew my own mind.

Jukesgrrl June 25, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Mere descriptions are not adequate. I require Google Earth, with an overhead cam of the rack.

dr.giraud June 25, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Typical New Yorker: It’s all about the real estate.

The-Gentle-Art June 25, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Conservative wackos are showing more outrage over the fact that liberals are showing joy over Sanford’s affair.

Here is an article that explains how the happiness of liberals is misinterpreted. It’s a good read.

http://progressnotcongress.org/?p=1939

dr.giraud June 25, 2009 at 5:27 pm

[re=348454]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Do you think Nooners would feel drawn to reach out and “touch” Maria?

A Better American Than YOU June 25, 2009 at 11:29 pm

Damned lazy media didn’t look very hard for teh photos.

http://picasaweb.google.com/marbelena/CumpleDeRo#5222472069598334818

ALIVE! June 26, 2009 at 1:06 am

[re=349000]A Better American Than YOU[/re]: OK well that is quite a set.

Zorg June 29, 2009 at 2:58 am

This is the BA neighborhood where Jorge Luis Borges lived out his life. Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius, anyone?

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