I cum 4 u, Mittens[LINK BAN OFF, their trolling has won this battle] Local Internet site The Politico has written “one of those stories they write,” oh boy. Barack Obama is terrible! “Call it the politics of personal perfection. The Barack Obama brand is as much about being a personal example to the nation as it is about being a political figure. But the danger of that frothy mix of glamour and domesticity is that President Obama could become in the public mind something he never sought to be: the Martha Stewart of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. And political veterans say the fine line between what’s inspiring and what’s annoying can be difficult to spot in advance.” Here are their stories.

Obama veered further toward Martha Stewart Living territory in an interview with a Pakistani newspaper on June 21. He told the interviewer about his college travels in Pakistan and talked about the exotic dishes he learned to cook there.

“Keema … daal … you name it, I can cook it,” Obama said.

Also, the president noted, he reads Urdu poetry.

All this is driving certain people — mostly Republicans — nuts.

This sentence: “Obama veered further toward Martha Stewart Living territory in an interview with a Pakistani newspaper on June 21.” If you’ve just written that sentence, shouldn’t a sharp abdominal pain tell you to maybe find a new article topic?

It gets “better.”

Obama’s image as a family man is shining even brighter today, against a backdrop of marital calamity engulfing the Republican Party over the past week.

Being too perfect can be dangerous for politicians. Just ask Mitt Romney. The former Massachusetts governor and GOP presidential candidate is a spectacularly good-looking man, extremely wealthy, well-spoken and accomplished in his professional career. And a segment of the voting public hated him for it.

Says Republican media strategist Mark McKinnon, “President Obama and his team should be careful about trying to be perfect. Voters are suspicious of perfect. They actually prefer someone who is human. And has flaws. Like them.”

Let’s go through this step-by-step:

(1) More Republicans are cheating on their wives, while Barack Obama is (presumably) not cheating on his wife.
(2) This is bad for Barack Obama and everyone hates him.
(3) Barack Obama is our generation’s Mitt Romney, essentially.
(4) Mitt Romney was perfect… oh god so perfect… oh yes… and hot… and hot while naked… and smart… Mittens, come hither…
(5) Wait, what were we writing about? Oh yes, Mittens lost, because he was too hot.
(6) Mark McKinnon says Barack Obama should be more like Mark Sanford.

There are another 500 words or so in the Politico article. They could be about anything!

Politics of personal perfection [Politico]

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  • Youstonedorjuststupid?

    whenever I start to feel good about the human race, I like to goto any of Politico’s threads to reaffirm the planet is completely populated by shit eating monkey fuckers.

  • qwerty42

    I saw this at TPM (I won’t link). Comments, as usual, include teh crazee. “man/child” very popular theme, as is “hes so stoopid”. sux to be them (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    And that’s a good thing.

  • TGY

    Mittens was hated cause he’s a Mormon, which means ‘Antichrist-worshipping gold-plate idiot’ to the Rep base! Also, he’s an idiot!!!!! POLITICO HAS WON THE AFTERNOON KICK IN THE ASS.


  • JMP

    I thought that the segment of the voting population hated Mittens because he was a Mormon cultist, not for his looks. Oh, and for the suspicious timing on his change of views on abortion and the gays.

  • WestEdEd
  • wolfshirts

    Oh so man-centric… couldn’t this mean that Michelle is just that good.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Shit. I wrote something similar… in jest.

    That’s just fucking horrible, a man who loves his wife (I think) and cares deeply about his kids. What kind of horrors will Barry Hussein Ward Cleaver Obama put us through?

    The truth is about Mittens? No one hated him because he was a family man, they hated him because he’s about as natural and real as the dayglo orange cast to his skin. That and the Mormoni underpants thing.

  • Spiderfrommars

    If Mittens is “is a spectacularly good-looking man” I’ll eat my hat.

  • Mr Blifil

    And I like my flawed politicians to have an extra helping of teh crazee while they advocate unflinchingly for the immediate bombardment of brown people.

  • TGY

    *pant* *pant* If Politico doesn’t stop this nonsense RIGHT NOW, I’m going to turn this Intarwebs around…

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Don’t forget the car roof dog incident.

  • The Other Sarah T

    “It’s very hard to imagine Barack Obama barfing on the lap of a foreign head of state, as the elder Bush once did. ”

    Nope, it doesn’t get much more elitist than that…

  • Madeline

    So, yesterday (or was it the day before) Obama was all-too-human because of the smoking. And everyone hated him for it. Today, he’s little Mr. Perfect goody-two-shoes. And everyone hates him for it.

  • wolfshirts

    [re=348310]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Isn’t mittens made out of canoe leather? I thought that was documented.

  • ManchuCandidate

    [re=348315]The Other Sarah T[/re]:
    I thought that was more a Skulls and Bones thing.

  • Pilate

    Lifelong monogamy is ELITIST. También.

  • norbizness

    No way! Those RNC talking points-spewing, two-liter of Pepsi-drinking chunderdicks have a TV station?

    P.S. If the link ban is lifting, how about trying an outright ban on these idiots instead?

  • Rukasu

    And all this time I thought people didn’t like Mitt because he belongs to a creepy religion and cut funding to such welfare queen programs as FIRE AND POLICE DEPARTMENTS in taxachusetts

  • slappypaddy

    michelle obama is not a person an intelligent person would cheat on. have you seen those biceps? she’d cold-cock a cheatin’ fool in a new york second.

  • doxastic

    I am not at all surprised to learn that (the) Politico finds it difficult to distinguish between inspiring and annoying.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=348307]WestEdEd[/re]: yes, because what that blogger did to the picture of Palin is exactly like the guy who smashed the Pieta or if someone threw acid on one of Raphael’s Madonna and Child painting.

  • Zadig

    [re=348315]The Other Sarah T[/re]: Why does Obama refuse to forcibly give Hugo Chavez a Cleveland Steamer, for America?

  • steve

    Politico Asshat #1: “Let’s win today by saying Barack will FAIL by being too awesome! We’ll use buzzwords like ‘Romney’ and ‘Pakistan’!”

    Politico Asshat #2: “That’s not how the world works! You can’t do that!”

    Politico Asshat #3: “You’re a fool, Jim! That story is GOLD! RUN WITH IT Eamon!”

    Politico Asshat #2: “I quit!”

    Politico Asshat #1: “Jim was the last decent human here…”

    Politico Asshat #3: “He had no place being here then.”

  • Hooray For Anything

    Further proof Romney is going to get caught having an affair now that he’s been branded as “too perfect” and how it’s not good to be perfect. You wait– something’s going to come out.

    Also, getting a quote from Tucker Carlson? Seriously?

  • GDuvall

    [re=348307]WestEdEd[/re]: [i]Stapelton also suggested President Obama should speak out against such behavior from liberal activists.[/i]

    I’m sure that’s a top priority for him.

  • freakishlystrong

    Shine on you crazy Righties…

  • NotNotLickingToads

    This guy has also penned such masterpieces as “The Obama Cabinet is a CEO Black Hole.”

    Jesus fucking christ.

  • Gallowglass

    Yes, I hated Mittens because he was too pretty, too sexy smart, like a hot librarian. Or whatever. These people suck.

  • Extemporanus

    I’m glad I read the alt. text—now I know I’m not the only one who wears “cum mittens.”

    Makes typing a little tricky, but fapping’s a goddamn breeze!

  • Pilate

    Seriously though this is what you get when you write an article based on interviews with “Republican strategists.”

    In the Republican Strategist Universe, Americans sympathized with Bush losing a decade of his life to alcohol & drugs and then fixing that by becoming a scarily manichean born-again; but they’re “concerned” about a President who’s trying to quit smoking.

    They were “outraged” over Bill Clinton’s serial infidelities but if Obama doesn’t have an affair soon they’ll think he’s “too perfect.”

    Chelsea Clinton was the White House dog but Jenna Bush’s drunken escapades were off limits.

    And so on…

  • edgydrifter

    Vacuous, insincere, meanspirited, vain, callous, and morally wayward–just what the doctor ordered! McCain + Palin = exactly what America wants, according to Politico. Which is exactly why they CRUSHED that Luochurian Candidate cryptomuslim demoncrap last November.

  • rocktonsammy

    Its hard for the repoonlicans to stand for anything while they’re lying face down in somebody other than they’re wife’s muff.

  • Noonan

    “Frothy mix”? Obama = Santorum?

    I’m confused.

  • NotNotLickingToads

    I s’pose I might as well mention that Politico’s founder and CEO worked in the Reagan White House and is Chairman of the Reagan Library…and one of its primary financiers is a company with deep connections to the Bush familia.


  • Come here a minute

    Uh oh … “read Urdu poetry” = “hike the Appalachian Trail” ??????????

  • Joshua Norton

    Obama veered further toward Martha Stewart Living territory in an interview with a Pakistani newspaper on June 21. He told the interviewer about his college travels in Pakistan and talked about the exotic dishes he learned to cook there.

    There’s so many things wrong with that sentence that you’d a 300 slide PowerPoint presentation and pie charts to get it all.

  • prizepig

    Far be it from me to nitpick Politico, but daal is about as exotic as stewed beans.

  • bago

    But what about the 500 or so words the politico DIDN’T use?

  • shellyboo98

    Does a man who’s already been elected president really need advice from the losers on how to get elected? Errr, perfection isn’t what makes the public hate you. Preachiness and hypocrisy is what makes them cackle as you babble on TV ad dinosaurs on sheets and your “dear, dear friend” in Argentina.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So an actor who spied for the FBI while he was head of the Screen Actors Guild, who was the first divorcee president and who wasn’t on speaking terms with some of his children was an icon of personal virtue.

    And his successor, who invaded one country to imprison a former CIA informant who used to work for him, and invaded another to beat back an invasion that his own ambassador gave the green light to, stood for personal loyalty above all else.

    The next guy — blue dress.

    Then the third one kept us safe after he didn’t and never compromised his values even though nobody knows what they might have been (hard work and honesty weren’t among them) and continued on the same damn roads both in the economy and foreign policy long after it was evident to everyone else that they weren’t working, is some sort of beacon of what you can accomplish with nothing going for you but a rich, influential daddy.

    And then we have Martha Stewart, the up-from-poverty community organizer, who didn’t even have the sense to get filthy rich with his law degree, who speaks not only in complete sentences but actual paragraphs, isn’t a paranoid, flag-waving xenophobe, and who is actually trying to be a good husband and father while fixing the giant mess that we’ve gotten into in the last eight years. Ugh — the arrogance and hubris of the man is simply unbelievable.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=348359]Joshua Norton[/re]: Yeah, damn that Obama for traveling to foreign countries and for learning how to cook something that’s not hot dogs and hamburgers.

  • Come here a minute

    [re=348353]Noonan[/re]: [re=348358]Come here a minute[/re]: This is a PATTERN. Must alert Intrepid Girl Reporter Gina Smith!! Politico may already be holding the incriminating emails from an anonymous tipster.

  • tunamelt

    OH MAN. Seriously. Politico makes you need to take a cold shower.

  • AxmxZ

    Words conspicously missing from this article: “Antichrist,” “golem,” and “doesn’t sweat during exercise, what the fuck’s up with that?”

  • Spike

    You would think that bullshitting the Pakistani’s about reading Urdu poetry would get him some regular guy cred, but I guess not.

  • heroinmule

    What they’re describing is America’s anti-intellectualism, not their preference for imperfect, seemingly human leaders. Mitt Romney and Martha Stewart are that smug, out-of-touch kind of perfect (“who let the dogs out?”). Obama’s not that way; I bet his farts are even pitch perfect. It’s a matter of tone. The only people who are suddenly annoyed by Obama’s worldliness have been shouting conspiracy theories since Iowa.

  • skahammer

    “There are another 500 words or so in the Politico article. They could be about anything!”

    I actually got a little Richard Meltzer-y vibe from reading this part.

  • MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    [re=348308]wolfshirts[/re], [re=348327]slappypaddy[/re]: Also, Michelle looks like she will cut a motherf*cker, for real. This is why she is both my girl crush and my role model.

  • nestor

    frothy mix
    This immediately made me think of santorum. yuck

  • paintitblack

    Bingo! The muny shot whilst out to lunch. Didn’t all good wonkettes see this one flying at us? Heard tell the nutso bloggers began whining instants after Sanford’s sobbing confession about how it’s “not nice” to diss the poor misunderstood Christian white fella, and now away we go with Lesson 1012(a)(i)on What’s wrong w/NoBama at this moment in time?

  • ninjamonkey2

    Don’t forget Obama the hypocritical smoker: Probably lights up a hookah too whenever reading those great Urdu poets.

  • american mutt

    Of course he’s perfect. HE’S MAGIC.

  • Violenza

    [re=348333]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Totally! I’ve been wondering if these latest GOP scandals have been P.R. stunts to be all, hey you guys! We’re not all furries and weirdo gays! We do cool stuff like the Democrats like do it with ladies sometimes!

  • magic titty

    [re=348387]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Gold fucking star, Wookies.

  • bitchincamaro

    It’s a full-on Mitt circle-jerk from here on out from that site, especially now that rising ogange star Sanford has crashed and burned, and I for one am greasing up my (insert preferred phallus-like deadly weapon, here) and girding my loins for the coming onslaught.


  • MarSF

    MItt Romney might be some closeted Republican’s wet dream but he does nothing for me. Maybe it’s the vapid look in his dead eyes or his leathery skin. I don’t see him as anything but a creepy plastic freak.

  • imissopus


  • Canuckledragger

    “And political veterans say the fine line between what’s inspiring and what’s annoying can be difficult to spot in advance.”

    POLITICO knows some “political veterans?” Then why don’t they put them on the payroll and quit lettin’ their clowncar of politrolls pollute the intertoobs with all that fuckin’ stunned huffery? They make David Brooks look like Einstein.

    As for the fine line separating “inspiring” and “annoying,” it sure don’t apply to POLITICO. Never inspiring, always annoying, and always wrong beyond their own comprehension. Who blew who to get these douchebags on TV so often? Ginger Jim Newell deserves that face time way more than these doofi.

  • S.Luggo

    The problem is that, after George Bush, anyone who doesn’t pass out after swallowing a ‘pretzel’ (that Republican code for “a bottle of Grey Goose”) looks likes perfection.

  • hockeymom

    Check out the video on the Politico website…of Barack watching Michelle do a little hula dance. THAT’S what really pisses them off. The fact that SOME people probably have sex with the person they married and both of them enjoy it.
    Something’s just not right there.

  • WickedWitch

    Mitt Romney. Good looking?

    Time to resurrect the Fudge photo.

    Let’s see ya’ll get hot and bothered over THAT!

  • OKLAHOMAjesus?

    I quite going to the Politico when James Kotecki left. It’s pretty sad when Kotecki TV is the best your site has to offer.

  • proudgrampa

    [re=348336]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: I can’t even imagine what a “CEO Black Hole” would be…

  • Jukesgrrl

    I cannot process anyone’s attractiveness or lack thereof until I hear from Chris Matthews’ leg.

  • slavojzizek

    I love these people who can’t deal with the fact that Obama actually was elected. To reiterate once again–the guy does not pretend he is an idiot. He doesn’t pretend Americans are a bunch of idiots. He likes Arugula and Dijon mustard. He sucks at bowling. And you know who elected him? American voters. (I happen to disagree with Obama about a million things like bailing out the bankers and bombing Pakistan, but his election continues to make me smile.)

  • Bruno

    If Barry did have an affair, I hope it would be with a woman with a really huge afro.

  • NJB

    I’m from Massachusetts – Gay Marriage Capital of the Universe – and I know why people hate Mitt Romney. He’s a man without any core beliefs at all. He shifts with the winds – like a weathervane, or a well beaten factotum, or an ancient Chinese courtier – or any other courtier, come to think of it. He believes whatever you want him to believe. He’ll figure out where you’re at, and he’ll do 180 degree curlie-Q’s – risking severe neck and back injury – to adopt your biggest issue. On the spot. Like fucking magic. Even if last week you heard him state the exact opposite.

    “All politicians are phony!”, you say? Absolutely. But Mittens could give seminars. He gives duplicity a bad name.

    And besides, he let Gay Marriage pass here in fair Fagachusetts, so that proves he’s as gay as Larry Craig after a few highballs and an evening of Jeff Stryker videos.

  • Tra

    [re=348387]SayItWithWookies[/re]: There’s more sense in your five paragraphs than Politico has managed to put together over the course of its entire existence.

  • iolanthe

    [re=348333]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Why have an affair when you can just install a co-wife?

  • iolanthe

    [re=348387]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That’s an excellent summation. I am stealing it and passing it around like a drunk chick at a frat party, but I’ll try to remember to give you credit.

    I’d love to see what you do with the paradox that keeps *ME* up at night: How can Obama be, at the same time, a crazy Marxist Communist Nigerian-born Manchurian candidate secret socialist revolutionary *AND* a closet Muslim religious extremist, poised to impose Shari’a law on the US, right after he takes all the Real Americans’ guns away? I know about politics making strange bedfellows and all that … but usually not inside the same brain. How does that work?

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=348310]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I think it’s possible to love your wife completely and still want to fuck a hot young thing. I sort of agree with the idea of the Obama brand – he’s too smart and too focused to be retarded enough to ruin his entire image, his legacy, by fucking around. Sure, Michelle is awesome and they are in love and best friends and all of that, but even if they weren’t, I doubt he’d risk everything for a quivering moments of hotness with a young staffer or whatever.

  • CriticalOne

    Martha Stewart?! Martha Stewart will stab a bitch. If Obama is getting more like Marth Stewart, praise be to the FSM. Amen. Also.

  • crapistani

    [re=348419]nestor[/re]: That was the sole bit of cleverness in the whole steaming pile. Turns wholesome into blech, see?

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