J'ai perdu femme et enfants.
While Republican dads dump their unwanted wives and unloved children at a vacation home somewhere and then fly to Argentina on the taxpayer’s dime to tearfully commit adultery for years, Democratic wonder-dad Barack Obama continues to outrage the family-hating wingnut blogosphere by keeping various “promises” made to his “happy” children, such as “I’ll get you a hypoallergenic dog carefully bred by Portuguese robot-monks” and “I’ll build you the fanciest backyard swing set ever, and it won’t look anything like those tacky day-glo molded plastic travesties most kids are stuck with, if they’re lucky enough to have a playset at all.” [White House Flickr]

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  • LittlePig

    Pity the poor one-ball SwingNutz.

  • TGY

    Two children on one swing! Socialism at its worst!

    But then…awwwwwwwwwwwww…

  • slappypaddy

    o god those things look like nooses run away barry run away grab the wife and the kiddies and the dog and run run run o god

  • takes12no1

    at least he isn’t on his way to Argentina…yeah I said it.

  • finallyhappy

    And he took them out for a frozen dairy product(custard) on the weekend- made from the milk that could have fed innocent baby cows. He is now leading his daughters on the lifelong trail of sweet sugary things, obesity and then anorexia- and don’t forget depriving innocent baby cows of their mother’s milk. PETA, NOW, AMA- where are you?

  • wolfshirts

    Is that a NASCAR tire swing? Nice!
    But seriously, they need to turn that backyard air conditioner way the f down. I see snow, coats and it’s summer!

  • takes12no1

    [re=348155]takes12no1[/re]: damnit read the article not just look at the pictures before you comment…this isn’t Playboy for god’s sake.

  • Hopey dont play that game

    Great dad? Check. Successful at his job? Check. Has washboard abs? Check? For the sake of my own ego, I really should have voted for McCain.

  • tunamelt

    What? Is this Jezebel? Because I just felt my ovaries twinge.

  • Dr. Zoidberg

    Oh, how dare he act all normal and loving! Truly a sign of a half-breed Muslin!

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Guy wears the same woodworking clothes as me. Yet another uncanny resemblance.

  • x111e7thst
  • Mr Blifil

    That looks like it’ll be a lot of fun when all the neighborhood kids come over.

  • Bagglio Ordonez

    Aaah yes; I recall lovingly the days when my father would return from work to push me on my swingset.

    Our family, however, was not so privileged as to have our modest swingset outfitted with the ball-gag sex-swing option.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    He’s playing with kids on swingset in a suit and tie. Very Leave it to Beaverish.

  • octupletsmom

    Eek. When he announced and ran, I felt sorry for his kids, cuz I thought growing up in the WH with a daddy for preznit would be crap for a childhood. But it really seems like they are doing pretty damn well. Cue happy faces and puppehz and wholesum.
    Awwwww, indeed.

  • FormerDCite

    Obama has no business shoving his family values in our faces by actually walking the walk. Only Real Americans like; Newt, Sarah Palin, Walnuts, Gov. Sanford, David Vitter, Larry Craig, and Mark Foley truly stand for family values.

  • Red Zeppelin

    alt.text correction: J’ai perdu la femme et les enfants. Still doesn’t make any sense, but after yesterday’s Sanford post, I’ll forgive Ken anything.

  • Joshua Norton

    I’m outraged! That is not the correct tie for playing on a swing set. Mr. Blackwell’s ghost weeps.

  • NoWireHangers

    And last night Michelle and the girls went to see Beyonce in DC. Why won’t Barry and Michelle adopt me? Why do they hate America?

  • freakishlystrong

    How the wingnutz can look at any of these pictures and be so hateful and vicious is a real talent and discipline. Like yoga. Or dicks.

  • nappyduggs

    It really is damned adorable, but as a caveat to Our Man, pushing them like crazy in this swing may encouraging dizziness, falling down, and maybe even puking, all under the guise of “fun.”

    Bush twins, also.

  • Min

    Dude, put on a pair of jeans when you’re playing on the swing set.

  • magic titty

    Careful, Malia! That’s the same way he broke Hillary’s arm.

  • WadISay

    Is that the same playhouse Jenna and Babs used? I’m glad they cleaned up the broken bottles, drug paraphenalia and vomit.

  • Adolf Bachmann

    Don’t believe the hype! Sasha & Malia are members of an exclusive “No Boys Allowed” club! Elitists!!!!!!

  • TGY

    [re=348177]nappyduggs[/re]: In early childhood, falling down and puking comes naturally. Only in young adulthood do we lose those happy skills and require chemical assistance.

  • ManchuCandidate

    What the fuck?!? What kind of REAL US America politician gives a crap about doing something for his kids, when he could be IM’ing male pages for sexy time, trolling for cock at airports, flying to Argie to bang his lady friend, getting blow jobs on his desk while the wifey has cancer or dying in two crotchless wetsuits and two dildos up his ass while masturbating?

    Barry, you do know that family values is just a slogan?

  • ManchuCandidate

    The Bush twins didn’t need a swingset to do all those things.

  • Ken Layne

    [re=348173]Red Zeppelin[/re]: It is a line from “The Partisan,” an old folk song about the Great War.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=348186]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Who is the last one you are speaking about?

  • rmontcal

    [re=348176]freakishlystrong[/re]: I think you should have said, “Like yoga. Or eating a bag of dicks.”

    Just trying to make Wonkette as teh awesum as possible.

  • rambone

    Goddammit! How the hell am I supposed to compete with this?

    WTF, is Barry too good to feed his kids some frozen waffles for dinner and then make them watch “Married with Children” reruns until they fall asleep?

  • blader

    There goes the neighborhood

  • Extemporanus

    Ahhh, look at those little Advil smugglers! Ain’t they adorable?

  • Hooray For Anything

    Just further proof that Obama is trying to do too much at once. How is he supposed to fix the economy, fight two wars, help the protesters in Iran if he’s also pushing his kids along in a tire swing?

  • ManchuCandidate


    The late Gary Aldrich and good good pal of the late Jerry Falwell.

    And no he’s not really GOP, but I threw that one in just for the hell of it.

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=348170]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Beaverish? Where were you in the fifties–don’t you even get TVLand? Mr. Rogers? Everyone knows good fathers always shed the suit jacket for a cardigan sweater when they’re playing with the kids.

    PS–I read the thing about Mika not knowing what string of pearls means. I don’t either. Does it refer to male emissions? I’m always so embarrassed to ask the kids these things.

  • takes12no1

    [re=348189]Ken Layne[/re]: God you’re a nerd.

  • SmutBoffin

    Republican reactions to this photo:

    “$900 in porkulus funds for a fancy tire swing? Wasn’t the helicopter and overhead projector enough? That’s not change we can Zzzzzzzzz.” –John McCain, via Twitter.

    “If the president closes Guantanamo, there will be Uighers living in Sasha and Malia’s treehouse.” –Mitch McConnel, Fox & Friends

    “The tire swing at my house has 20 kids on it.” –Michele Bachmann, Hannity

  • finallyhappy

    [re=348193]rambone[/re]: Were you watching me when my kids were little? And I toasted the waffles !

  • 2druk2phluq

    When we voted to have a normal president we meant normal by our standards, not normal fucking normal. This is like some post-cocaine-binge apocalyptic view of what leisure time will look like after the Internet AI takes over our subconscious minds with late night pulsing codes piped in through our electric lines. Somebody tell our president he need only drink cocktails and smoke clove cigarettes to reverse the damage he has done to our fragile collective thought hive.

    [re=348157]wolfshirts[/re]: My post is bombing, so I might as well say, “My God! You’re right, wolfshirt. They’ve moved the President and his family to the very cold southern hemisphere. This is the true Manchurian message.”

  • Terry


    Then you both could have starred in Green Acres.

    That is a sweet photo. What a nice family.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=348150]LittlePig[/re]: Judging by the two LiveStrong bracelets hanging above it, I’m guessing that it used to belong to Lance Armstrong.

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=348189]Ken Layne[/re]: I thought it was classy, whatever it was. Anything in french is classy. Especially with Patti Lupone singing your love song in the background.

    Happily for liberals, no matter the topic, we’ll always have Argentina.

  • paintitblack

    Thus es n outrage!!11 Barry Sotero is PRETENDING (where’s the birth cartefaket kenyeynmuzlin????)to be en eall ‘murkin! How dare NOBama axe like a gud guye whan we no he’s eh faker, the telprumptor mus be talling hym whut ta do in this puctire!!!111!!! Dunt beleev it SHEEPLES!!11

  • Terry

    These little girls are Daddy’s princesses, as they should be:

    I hated her husband’s politics and her wackiness, but Nancy looks great:

  • dijetlo

    He’s a Demoncrat so of course Satan (D-Infernal Regions) hasn’t possessed his ween, he voted for him. It’s the poor, God fearing Republicans who have to suffer, slaves to their demonically controlled man parts.
    Consider brother Mark, a righteous man, a Christian man, a ween bearer, laid low by the perfumed and shaven lady bits of a furrin’ Jezebel from the meat market that is the “Bone Us Areas” of the Argentine (Note: Yes, Jezebels lady parts are perfumed and shaven, read the bible.) Let us not wallow in schadenfreude, or any other German bullshit, let us instead concentrate on prayer and internet porn because here lies our salvation.

  • NoWireHangers

    [re=348189]Ken Layne[/re]: Musical elitist. Why don’t you just quote the Black Eyed Peas like a real American.

  • octupletsmom

    I searched the interwebs for a happy-dad pic of Gubner Sanford and his children but, sadly, my internet skills are deficient I guess.

  • wolfshirts

    2druk2phluq: Shit! No, you’re right. I really thought it was a backyard air conditioner issue. Hell, they could be on their “back-up” planet right now! This goes deep.

  • 19kevin8

    [re=348231]dijetlo[/re]: win. so very, very much win.

  • Formerly Preferred

    March 4? That was like 3 years ago. Who knows what he’s doing NOW? Why has the White House been sitting on this pic?!

    Also, is that tire swing made out of a racing slick? Because, if so, cool.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=348232]NoWireHangers[/re]: Were this a Palin family photo, I might be inclined to agree. However, I don’t think “My Humps” or “Let’s Get Retarded” work quite as well for the Obamas.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    You got the right idea.
    I think if you do the Google on Pearl Necklace you’ll eventually find some video demonstrations.

  • donner_froh

    [re=348170]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: That’s just how he rolls. Sharp navy blue suit, just the right amount of cuff showing (barrel cuffs, no French cuffs at the office) highly shined plain toe lace-ups (White House does HIGH res) and his jacket still buttoned.

    Too ultra-perfecto?

  • dijetlo

    [re=348248]19kevin8[/re]: I had the holy spirit all up in me

  • Jukesgrrl

    Thank God Bush passed the law saying presidents who don’t wear suits and ties are Communists. Without it, Hopey would have been comfortable in his backyard.

  • BadKitty

    Way to stay current, Ken. Ain’t no way I’m believing there’s snow on the ground in DC in June. I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck.

  • Blender

    That’s not snow. It’s leftover cocaine from yesterday’s post-Sanford cryfest party.

  • sezme

    Just tell me that thing with the chains, the bar, and two loops isn’t some medieval torture device. Is this ‘playset’ the CIA experimenting on replacements for waterboarding on Sasha and Malia? Sick, that’s what that is. America, get ready to learn a whole new meaning for ‘tireswinging’.

  • Terry

    Good grief, I was so over come by cuteness that I forgot the link ban. I’m sorry folks.

  • Guppy06

    The tire swing, the slide and the tree-house are for the kids, but that ball thing, with the yellow handles? That’s for Michelle.

  • Guppy06

    [re=348189]Ken Layne[/re]: There wasn’t much “pouring across the border” or partisanship in Frenchie-land during the Great War, so I checked and The Omniscient Wiki confirms that it was instead from “Great War II: Electric Boogaloo.”

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