the best meat

A Children’s Treasury Of (Poorly) Translated Comments About Mark Sanford From An Argentinian Newspaper

One or more of you commenter people have linked to an article about crying sex person Mark Sanford in an Argentinian newspaper, La Nación. “Argentina” is very proud to have had an American slave state leader come to its big city and sex its women! Maybe? It’s hard to tell, because we do not speak Spanish. The Internet does, though, and has translated for us some of the article’s comments. Are the Argentinian Internet’s commenters as erudite as the “Real American” commenters? Perhaps even more!

We’re using Google Translate and just copy pasting whatever it spits out. If any of you people speak Illegal, maybe you could clarify some.

  • “¿Y si estuvo con un travesti?” American: “What if he was with a transvestite?”
  • “Carne, Argentina, la mejor carne …” American: “Meat, Argentina, the best meat …”
  • “parece q tuvo u affear, con una argentina muy conocida.” American: “seems u had affear q, with a well-known argentina.”
  • “Pobre tipo que tiene tener una amiga ARGENTINA durante 8 años..eso es una AMISTAD! segun el dijo a la CNN que cuando la conocio los dos estaban en una crisis matrimonial y pegaron tanto que se pasaron los mails..y despues vino a visitar a su AMIGA, parece que se extrañaban, un INOCENTE total..” American: “Poor guy who has a friend for 8 years ARGENTINA .. this is a FRIENDSHIP! the second told CNN that when he met the two were in a marital crisis and beat both the mails that were passed .. and then came to visit his friend, seems to have missed a total INNOCENT ..”
  • “Las relaciones carnales con USA siguen intactas jejeje.” American: “The carnal relations with the U.S. remain intact jejeje” [Is that how they LAUGH on the Argentinian Internet?"]
  • “Hace años los yankis venía a comer carne argentina. Decían que era de la mejor calidad y muy barata, comparada con lo que pagaban en los EE.UU. Como verán, nada cambia, todo se transforma. Grande Gobernador!!!” American: “Years ago the americans came to eat argentina. They said it was the best quality and very cheap compared to what they paid in the U.S. As you can see, nothing changes, everything changes. Governor Grande!”
  • “Yo creo que hay que dejarse de embromar con la Soja, el campo la industria , el blanqueo y todo eso. Hay que hacer de la Argentina un gran CABARULO INTERNACIONAL y que vengan a Gastar los dolares y Euros aca. Tenemos las mujeres mas lindas, una de la mejor comida, abramos casinos por todos lados. Lo ponemos al Diego de Relaciones Publicas, se va a sentir barbaro y de joda si que sabe. Los politicos que tenemos estan a tono. Recibimos aca a Berlusconi, Clinton, Mosley, Chavez, a todos esos dictadores Africanos, que vengan todos de joda para aca . En el peor de los casos no seguiran robando como nos roban, pero al menos va a ser divertido.” American: “I think you have to stop with the tease Soja, field industry, money and all that. We need to make Argentina one of the great CABARULO INTERNATIONAL and come to spend the dollars and Euros here. We have the most beautiful women, one of the best food, open casinos everywhere. We make it to Diego Public Relations, will feel barbaro and shit if he knows. The policies we are in tone. Berlusconi to get here, Clinton, Mosley, Chavez, all these African dictators, who come here to fuck all. In the worst case will not continue to rob us as stealing, but at least it will be fun.”
  • “Finalmente krisabelita cumple su sueño de insertarnos en el mundo. Mañana vamos a figurar en la tapa de todos los diarios de USA. Que lindo es dar buenas noticias.” American: “Krisabelita finally meets his dream of joining the world. Tomorrow we are going to appear on the cover of every newspaper in the USA. How nice it is to give good news.”
  • “Mañana? ya esta en todos los diarios! jajaja.” American: “Tomorrow? and this in all the papers! lol”

WAIT. So what have we learned? “jejeje” and “jajaja” are their “hehehe” and “hahaha,” which of course makes sense, but only “jajaja” GOOGLE TRANSLATES to “lol.”

Meat, Argentina, the best meat…

Un gobernador de EE.UU. confesó que le fue infiel a su esposa en la Argentina [La Nacion]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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94 comments

  1. El Bombastico

    “Las relaciones carnales” will be the name of my first South American restaurant.

  2. memzilla

    Great. Remember Las Islas Malvinas? Now we’ve given the Argentines an excuse to invade Hilton Head Island.

  3. magic titty

    “Carne, Argentina, la mejor carne …”

    Obviously, the South American nation has found its new slogan.

  4. Holding Out for a Hero

    Way back in the day, when the lovely Vivien Leigh was selected to play Scarlett O’Hara, there was a hugh hullabaloo about the fact that an ENGLISH girl had been cast. Many thought this an affront while others felt that the whole of Southern womanhood should be ashamed that not a one of them could land the role

    I think the women of South Carolina should feel shame that Mark Sanford a fine, upstanding Southern gentleman of character and wisdom had to go all the way to Argentina to cheat on his wife.

    What has happened to the South?

  5. Dave J.

    [re=347527]Mahousu[/re]: I felt dirty reading those. They are pretty personal, not just “omg u r hot what r u wearing now???” stupid emails. Sounds like he actually loved/loves her. It’s a rough situation all around.

  6. Joshua Norton

    Years ago the americans came to eat argentina. They said it was the best quality and very cheap compared to what they paid in the U.S. As you can see, nothing changes, everything changes. Governor Grande!

    That sounds like the instructions that came with my new air conditioner.

  7. AxmxZ

    Just when the situation is perfect for it, the “Meet your Meat” ad is nowhere to be seen.

  8. Dog Trombone

    [re=347527]Mahousu[/re]: My God! Those e-mails! This guy could write for Penthouse letters!

    Srsly, tho, how utterly and completely mortifying for him and his family. Shitsack.

  9. Lascauxcaveman

    I think I’ll have the carnes picantes and a margarita, with a side of Argentine “Jo.”

  10. finallyhappy

    [re=347535]Dave J.[/re]: really- who are you, Senator Ensign? Newt? And if he and his wife separated several weeks ago to “save their marriage”- and then this past week he goes to his girlfried again- how does his wife forget that in today’s statement. She must be a real buyer of Man is head of the household and wife submits. Not a rough situation- just pathetic and he is a piece of crap.

  11. bitchincamaro

    In fifteen minutes, I’m meeting two business colleagues, each of whom is currently cheating on his wife. The conversation will try to veer to sports, drinking, and travel, but I will do my best to keep it real. I shall report back on how the troops on the front line are taking this latest news.

  12. Godot

    [re=347522]magic titty[/re]: I prefer the regular alien translation of “kekekekeke”.

  13. finallyhappy

    [re=347538]memzilla[/re]: D(5)- R(2) – only means we don’t have the facts. I am sure there are mnay more on both sides

  14. paintitblack

    Para bailar la bamba! Se necessita una poca gracia! translates into: let’s going bonking! It is necessary to poke you madly! oof oof, oof oof…

  15. AxmxZ

    [re=347541]Dog Trombone[/re]: Perhaps he can cobble together a living writing dirty novels like Webb.

  16. user-of-owls

    I am sure you’ll get more than a few corrections of Googlisms (e.g., in most of the quotes, Argentina signifies a female Argentine, not the country). But some require a bit more inside beisbol, to wit:

    “Krisabelita finally meets his dream of joining the world. Tomorrow we are going to appear on the cover of every newspaper in the USA. How nice it is to give good news.”

    Actually a slam on Argentina’s female president, Cristina (aka, Krisabelita in the commenter’s mind) Kirchner. Basically, “Little Cristina finally realizes her dream of bringing us to the fore of international attention. Tomorrow we’ll be on the front page of all the US newspapers.”

    Also, I’m bummed that I wasn’t the only tipper. I did, though, send this link of an exquisite visual representation of Meat, Argentina…the best meat.

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3229/2958533846_6270a5171d.jpg

  17. President Beeblebrox

    [re=347520]memzilla[/re]: Good. Any excuse to invade and pillage a Southern island that has plantations resided in by rich whites tended to by poor blacks who live in shantytowns is OK with me. Srsly, HHI is weird that way.

  18. Extemporanus

    Turnabout is fair play, Wonkettistas! Here’s the top of this post translated from English-Spanish-English via Yahoo’s Babelfish, because it sucks ouevos:

    a Property of the children (badly) of commentaries translated on the Sanford mark of an Argentine newspaper

    One or more of you people of the commentator have bound to an article about the gritadora mark Sanford in an Argentine newspaper, the Nation of the person of sex. “Argentina” is very proud to have had a state leader to help American to come to its big city and sex his wifves! Perhaps? He is hard to say, because we did not speak Spanish. The Internet does, although, and has translated for us some of the commentaries of the article. They are as erudite commentators of the Argentine Internet as true “the American” commentators? Perhaps still more!

  19. AKAM80TheWolf

    I have to fix this one:

    “Carne, Argentina, la mejor carne …”

    American: “Argentinian meat is the best meat”

  20. nestor

    I habla the illegal mas o menos, but I visit Wonkette because I don’t want to work so I’m sure as shit not translating those. Besides, only the long ones have any real problemos.

  21. StrangelyBrown

    [re=347580]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: I thought it was supposed to be “Argentina: No one beats our meat.”

  22. Extemporanus

    The Argentinian version of a political gotcha question: “Perdóneme señor, pero exactamente cuándo dejar de carne-ing tu esposa?”

  23. problemwithcaring

    So does everybody on Washington Post.com run their comments through a Spanish to English translator and then back again, before posting them?

  24. Kev-O-Tron

    The next time I’m dining at that swanky Argentine steakhouse around the block I’ll be sure and ask the cocktail waitress about this whole Argentine meat thing. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! JEJEJE!

  25. donner_froh

    [re=347527]Mahousu[/re]: The caption on the picture of her apartment building in The State is:
    The woman who South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford had an affair with lives on Republica de la India in the Palermo neighborhood of Argentina.

    Palermo neighborhood of Argentina must be like the Hays-Adams neighborhood of America.

  26. kingofmeh

    [re=347553]user-of-owls[/re]: with a strong sexual pun on “insertarnos” — literally “to insert us” or “insert ourselves”.

  27. Jenny Sanford

    so the illegals are not only admitting to possessing but are actually proud of their WMDs?
    Can we just invade?

  28. yanquilandia

    It’s times like these that make me so glad that I’m moving to Buenos Aires come August. Too bad I’m not already there so I could’ve caught him in the act!

    Jaja…es re obvio que la carne argentina es la posta!

  29. zhubajie

    [re=347525]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: Well, probably an Argentine counts as a colored woman in S. Carolina. White men sexing colored women is nothing new in S. Carolina! (Or S. America, either.)

    Zhu Bajie

  30. shockratees

    jejejeje! je je je. je. je. . .

    NOOOO! my jeje is going limp! need jeje viagra!

    OH WAIT! jeje returns to me! repugs are so good for laughter! a repug family values and economic responsibility guy squandered taxpayer monies on an illicit affair!

    je je je je je je je je je je je je je je je!

  31. lawrenceofthedesert

    Argentina was a great choice, Mark! I get to write a tango about the prodigal profligate, which sure beats commercial country all to pieces.

    All these recent marital infidelity admissions make me wonder if heteros are trying to reclaim the Republican party. Wouldn’t it have been cheaper and easier just to hire another hooker for Congressman Ken Calvert?

  32. Sunfire

    Jim Newell continues to break my heart, post after illicit post. Never again, I declare anew, before I fire up the Firefox and return to this exotic corner of the interwebs. Like a fool, I revisit the site yearning for what cannot ever truly be. Jim, Sanford may cry for Argentina, but your Wonketeers cry for alt text. I am writing a soft loving letter here in the comments where the interwebs and tabloid reporters cannot possibly find it, to ask if alt text and Wonkette can never truly be together, forever?

  33. loquaciousmusic

    An Argentinean guy mows my lawn. On second thought, maybe he’s Mexican. Or Ecuadorean. Whatever.

  34. drftjgoj

    I know this isn’t quite “carne, argentina” per se, but I’ve been wanting to make a porn titled “Carnal Assada” for years now.

    I think I figured out the plot today. Thanks, GOP!

  35. S. Cullen Bonz

    This governor is a Confederate through and through. He refuses to have an affair with someone from “North” America, only “South” America.

  36. OffTheRecord

    Is it wrong that I am most perplexed by the use of the word Barbaro? What does a dead horse have to do with all of this?

  37. Jenny Sanford

    turns out, it was all for a reason. US just beat Spain in the Confederation cup. so looks like it was just a plan to distract the amigos from Spain by way of BA.

    we get the last jajaja

  38. azw88

    [re=347544]bitchincamaro[/re]: Wonder if your two friends are cheating with the SAME woman… now THAT would be a conversation to have!!!

  39. S.Luggo

    Spit take.

    BTW, Newell, negotiated over decades, several Inter-American treaties have been smashed by your irresponsible blog. (No one in the State Department ever expected an Anglo to understand Spanish.) Hope you’re fucking happy with yourself. On the International Mercantile Exchange, the price of maracas has just shot up 2%.

    You’re welcome, also.

  40. lizzard

    @OffTheRecord bárbaro means crass. think “barbarian”

    “q” by itself means “que”.

  41. Tito Puente

    Alittle personnal advice about Argentine carnal relations:
    don’t waste your time at the Fogo de Chao salad bar, solid though it may be; go striaght for the lambchop and keep the coaster on green until they cut you off.

  42. WickedWitch

    [re=347594]problemwithcaring[/re]: No, they’re just illiterate.

    For the freepers, that means YOU IGNANT.

  43. OffTheRecord

    [re=347685]lizzard[/re]: [re=347689]malvones[/re]: You know, I actually took three years of Spanish. Too bad this was in public school so all I learned was how to conjugate verbs. Therefore I will ignore you logical explanations and choose to believe that Sanford was in fact fucking a dead horse. I like that story better.

  44. the problem child

    “Hace años los yankis venía a comer carne argentina. Decían que era de la mejor calidad y muy barata, comparada con lo que pagaban en los EE.UU. Como verán, nada cambia, todo se transforma. Grande Gobernador!!!” American: “Years ago the americans came to eat argentina _________. They said it was the best quality and very cheap compared to what they paid in the U.S. As you can see, nothing changes, everything changes. Governor Grande!”
    ———–
    I think “American” translation is missing some “meat”.

  45. S.Luggo

    Povricito Sanford. Seduced by another. Tears, idle tears. One thing is not like the other, but they are the same.

  46. bignutz2

    His letters are really kind of sensual. I never knew he’d have it in him.

    Also, there’s a joke out there involving stimulus but its too late for me.

  47. NYNYNY

    [re=347517]The-Gentle-Art[/re]: That shit’s already broke, so the only thing else you can do is fix it. No crap he used the state money, A) he took an official trip to Argentina last year, who knows how much money he wrote off to the state for the trysting then, B) He grabbed a state vehicle and took it to Atlanta, someone else probably a staff worker on the state’s dime, parked another for him at the Columbia SC airport in case he wanted to land there, C) no doubt all sorts of state-paid dufuses are getting overtime covering up, then fixing this shit. That’s the jumping off point, fiduciarilly speaking.

  48. artbot2000

    [re=347538]memzilla[/re]:

    Actually that’s six to two, even within the limits of that article, which ignores Nelson Rockefeller (who married the “other woman” and then screwed around on HER, ultimately dying while in the saddle en flagrente). Plus, Earl Long the only Louisiana Governor with zipper issues? News to me.

  49. schvitzatura

    Myrtle Beach, SC is the sister city of Pinamar, Argentina…Wikipedia, re: sister city travel Ponzi schemes:

    The concept of sister cities has been criticized as an unnecessary and expensive endeavor[7] for cities to take part in with little to no accountability or obvious signs of economic development resulting from the arrangement. Critics point out that politicians can use the sister cities as an excuse to take junkets at the public’s expense. [8]

    Sanford, based on SC sister city relationships , could have been bangin’ chicks, in exotic locales ranging from (most famously) Spoleto, Italy to Chelyabinsk, Russia to Tianjin, China.

  50. LoweredPeninsual

    Wait; hold the phone. Was Sanford conversing with this woman in Expanyole/Messican?! The governor of South Carolina knows Messican?! There is so much translating going on that I don’t know what’s what. If he was conversing with her in Messican/Illegale, that is the story.

    Oh, yeah; almost forgot: jejeje. También.

  51. LoweredPeninsula

    BTW,

    Check out part of this email he sent this woman:

    I wish I could wish it away, but this soul-mate feel I alluded too is real and in that regard I sure don’t want to be the person complicating your life. I looked to where I often look for advice and counsel, and in I Corinthians 13 it simply says that, “ Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude, Love does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in the wrong, but rejoices in the right, Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things”.

    Dick.

  52. dammy

    Cabarulos are burlesque strip joints/brothels. The Diego bit is Diego Maradona, a whoring soccer player — they’re saying they’ll put him in charge of PR because he’ll feel awesome about himself and he already knows from fucking.

  53. heroinmule

    [re=347525]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: I think it’s just that Governor Sanford entered the strange ass period of his life. And in his family values mind, the most debauched thing he can think of is to screw a foreign lady, an almost Mexican. The way he described his mistress, I can tell he’s just clearly in love with the idea of dating someone “exotic” with “hips.” If he wasn’t acting like such a limp-dick over all this, I’d find it charming the way he’s infatuated with his strange ass.

  54. zenferret

    [re=347535]Dave J.[/re]: If inly for the breasts and tan lines.

    Mmmmmm tan lines….

    [re=347612]Jenny Sanford[/re]: WMD? Women for Marital Dalliances

  55. Zadig

    I like that the Argentinian commenters jumped to the same conclusion Shorts x3 came to yesterday: it is time for an American political TRANNY sex scandal.

  56. rws

    “Mañana? ya esta en todos los diarios!” means “Tomorrow? it’s already in all the papers!”
    (not “…and this in all the papers!”)

  57. assistant/atlas

    Can you imagine what the Argentinians are thinking when they try to Google-translate our Wonkette? Well, I guess it’s a more accurate depiction of America than say, Fox News forums.

    Que es “buttsecs”?

Comments are closed.