the death of fun

No Iranians Allowed At U.S. Fourth Of July Parties; Iran Reacts, ‘Fine, Losers, We Didn’t Even Want To Go’

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Because the Obama Administration hates Iran’s freedoms so much, it has rescinded permission for U.S. embassies to invite Iranian diplomats to their Fourth of July parties. Come on, parents, don’t take it out on the kids! Robert Gibbs said the change in policy came about “given the events of the past many days,” referring to Mark Sanford’s cumming. State Department spokesperson Ian Kelly, however, “said no Iranians have accepted” the invitations anyway and “indicated that the U.S. saw little reason for them to, given the political crisis over their disputed presidential election.” Again: maybe they would have accepted if you had promised a Super Soaker war. They’re just like water cannons! [AP]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • orange


  • cal

    Now Iran is going to have their own party, and invite only the cool people. ESCALATION!

  • 19kevin8

    I hope this dis-invite doesn’t include hot Argentinians who’ve just had their Appalachian trails hiked by Republican governors. That would be tragic.

  • MrsNateSilver

    That sucks for the Iranian deputy foreign minister’s wife, since she had just purchased the sweetest little stars ans stripes chador, just for the occasion. And it’s non-returnable. How can they do this to her? It’s not like she can even reuse it, except maybe to burn at a rally, “Down with the infidels” etc. Hmph.

  • BillyClubb

    The Iranians weren’t interested in coming anyway; after all, their idea of a party is Super Soakers filled with human blood.

    What? Too early?

  • Noonan

    Super soak dem votes!

  • SayItWithWookies

    So much for the Iranians vs. Teabaggers face-off I was so hoping for.

  • Min

    You know those Iranian folks are already missing the pork barbecue and beer.

  • magic titty

    Might as well retract the invites to Rosh Hashanah too…

  • proudgrampa

    Boy, I just KNOW that this is going to make those Iranians hate us even more!

  • gurukalehuru

    Don’t let the Republicans say he didn’t do nuffin.

  • azw88

    Shit, that means Barry is gonna have to eat all that watermelon all by hisself. Hope it is the seedless kind!

  • Hooray For Anything

    John McCain is at this very moment complaining that this isn’t enough and that Obama also needs to defriend them on Facebook, tell jokes about them behind their back at the party, and order pizzas to their embassies without them knowing about it.

  • Extemporanus

    Well isn’t that just great! Now we need to find someone else to bring the potato salad and police batons.

    Anyone have the Irish embassy phone number handy?

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Now we’ll have to cancel the wet burka contest! (Hey, call Mossad, I think that soaker’s loaded with heavy water…)

  • mrpuma2u

    Doing halal bbQ is such a pain in the ass anyway

  • WadISay

    Well, there goes our local ambassadors’ hopes of being invited to the annual Giving Thanks to Allah for the Glorious Victory Over the Lickspittle Lackey of the Great Satan and the Overthrow of the Nest of Spies.

  • Country Club Jihadi

    So much for the 3-legged Race from the Basiji and playing Capture The Fag.

  • facehead

    Great, now none of us will get invited to the next “Hate America” parade.

  • Bruno

    Of course no Real Iranians ™ would accept. Only Real Persians ™ would accept.

  • paintitblack

    Damn, and I was so counting on them inviting BirthermuzlinkenyantelepromptrsNObama back for the big Eid after Ramadan just to enjoy the faux outrage of the GOP/wingnuts.

  • j6n

    Why wouldn’t they jump at the chance to wolf down some Hebrew Nationals and discuss the right of the people to dissolve a tyrannical government, followed by a series of explosions?

  • proudgrampa

    [re=347469]facehead[/re]: Precisely.

  • bitchincamaro

    State Dept.: Hey man, how can we e-vite you if you keep pulling the plug on the interwebs? Henngghh!

  • Servo

    Nothing kills a party like a radiological alarm. Folks in stars n’ stripes would reflexively look skyward.

  • slappypaddy

    They don’t want to come sing along with us our happy ditty about the rockets’ red glare? And bombs bursting in air? While we drink cold brewskis and scarf down wieners? What’s wrong with them peeps, where’s their sense of fun?

  • hoosiermama

    Didn’t the US disinvite them last year? It is going to be so awkward at the next PTA meeting.

  • j6n

    What will they do with the piñata shaped like an old woman in a hijib?

  • stew

    yo, the emails have arrived!

    “Two, mutual feelings …. You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details …”

    More to, uh, come…

  • Maus

    What a stupid gesture. The only nationalists that would care are Birthers anyway.

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=347469]facehead[/re]: ““Hate America” parade.”

    Just as well I don’t go. I never know what color holiday spirit sweater to wear.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=347498]Servo[/re]: And even when those burkas are wet, all I can think about are tamales.

  • dijetlo

    If they don’t come to the barbecue, how will we ever get the opportunity to drunkenly bang their wives and daughters?

  • Paul Tardy

    Talk about micro managing. Why not let the ambassadors do the diplomacy, or just admit those embassies are a shame and close most of them. Appoint prominent local Americans as ambassadors, like other thrifty countries do. Or just let the US military do everything, which seems to be what is going on anyway. But seriously, an embassy job would seem to be almost completely worthless.

    BTW, if you really want to get those Muslims, make them watch from the vegan table while you roast a suckling pig and drink craft beer. Ha!

  • Paul Tardy

    So what’s this C street stuff? And is Wonkette sending someone to Anthrocon 2009 Pittsburgh, July 4 weekend or not?

  • S.Luggo

    Showed them. Now onto the Reconquista of Dearborn.

  • TGY

    Now they can go back to spiking the punch.