THE NEW TRUTH  3:28 pm June 24, 2009

Fox News Scoop: Uhh…Mark Sanford Is A Democrat

by Jim Newell

And you know how we feel about Democrats, GRRR! [Media Matters]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


AxmxZ June 24, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Whaaat? Their finger slipped. Again.

orange June 24, 2009 at 3:31 pm

joe the plumber behind him is going to eat his brain.

NewSpence June 24, 2009 at 3:31 pm

Every. Fucking. Time.
It’s gotten old, boys.

bitchincamaro June 24, 2009 at 3:31 pm

(D) is for Dick caught in a wringer.

Speed Ball June 24, 2009 at 3:32 pm
BostonJerry June 24, 2009 at 3:33 pm

Creative as always. I have a question: What kind of wingnut republican has a “dear dear friend in argentina?”

Monsieur Grumpe June 24, 2009 at 3:33 pm

What’s with the hair on the guy to the left of the Gov?

Min June 24, 2009 at 3:33 pm

I’d say Fox was shameless, but that’s like saying water is wet.

Extemporanus June 24, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Mark Sanford is a Doucheocrat.

SayItWithWookies June 24, 2009 at 3:35 pm

No, silly — D stands for Disowned.

Violenza June 24, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=347219]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Blago, is that you?

AnAdmirerOfThatOne June 24, 2009 at 3:36 pm

[re=347210]NewSpence[/re]: The pathetic thing about it is that at least a few dozen of our fellow citizens fall for it every time. No wonder we were so overjoyed to elect Pres. Hopey.

paintitblack June 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

[re=347209]orange[/re]: beat me to it. Faux will blame this (dis)ingenious “slip” on Joe the Plunger (and why not? he deserves it). But then again: because it’s sexy-lady-time, it’s no wonder Faux got befuddled. GOPers only “do” boys, don’t they? Wha??!

Formerly Preferred June 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

Well, he did have an affair with a female, so in this case the evidence may be on Fox’s side.

HIROHITO99 June 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

I guess that’s it then! Now that Fox has pulled the old (R)/(D) switcheroo there’s really nothing more left to report on this. Darn. I was having a slow week at work and reading this story was pretty much all that I had to live for at the office right now.

Extemporanus June 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

[re=347219]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: He gets it done at Ray-Ban Sasoon in downtown Charlotte.

Yaybuls June 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

I’m more scared of this “Live Desk” thing. What the hell does that even mean? Are there animals and plants on the desk, shit like that? Or is the actual DESK alive itself? The whole concept is horrifying.

TGY June 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

Remind me of the value of a free press, again?

paintitblack June 24, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Douchebag? Dickhead? Dumb? Disgusting?

Saragon June 24, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=347219]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Those are sunglasses, worn in the stupidest possible manner. You see them on top of douchebag heads all the fucking time down here.

OKLAHOMAjesus? June 24, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Every time a Republican cheats on his wife, an Iranian freedom fighter loses their life.

Uncle Al June 24, 2009 at 3:39 pm

If you’re a Republican, that’s how you know you’re all washed up–when Fox calls you a Democrat.

horned_viper June 24, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Can the DNC sue for libel?

facehead June 24, 2009 at 3:40 pm

That’s one way to do it.

Another strategy: focus on THIS for a month,

(via Huffpo)

LeftyNoVa June 24, 2009 at 3:40 pm

More importantly, why is Susan Boyle hiding behind that plant? Is she having another nervous breakdown?

CivicHoliday June 24, 2009 at 3:40 pm

[re=347229]Formerly Preferred[/re]: you beat me to the joke. we’d all assumed Furry suits and an underage tranny. we were wrong…so very very wrong.

echoman2000 June 24, 2009 at 3:40 pm

The interns @ Fox are still reeling from Fag Face Perez Hilton getting bitch slapped yesterday by a Negro. They need time to heal. Be gentle.

slappypaddy June 24, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Well, that explains everything, now, doesn’t it?


Serolf Divad June 24, 2009 at 3:42 pm

LOL, Fox just ran a blurb: “Sanford took trip to Argentina: ‘to recharge.’”

So is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Carrie_Okie June 24, 2009 at 3:42 pm

[re=347232]Extemporanus[/re]: Charlotte is in the old North State. They are in South Kak. 2 hrs away. Mmkay? Also we rescind the Appomattox thang. Y’all can keep the succession of 1861.

echoman2000 June 24, 2009 at 3:42 pm

[re=347238]OKLAHOMAjesus?[/re]: pretty low…but really fabulous! i’m gonna steal it!

villageatrois June 24, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Gotta get my hearing checked. I thought he was “hiking the Appalachian Trail”. Turns out he was “liking Argentinian tail”.

shellyboo98 June 24, 2009 at 3:43 pm

But on the plus side the S&P is up so…there you go. Thank you, Gov. Sanford!

Terry June 24, 2009 at 3:44 pm

They confused him with a Democrat because he’s a straight man having an affair with a woman. Now if he was a straight man having a secret affair with an underaged tranny with a meth habit, he’d definitely be Republican.

Sarah T June 24, 2009 at 3:45 pm

OF COURSE ! That explains why he cheated on his wife with a WOMAN…

paintitblack June 24, 2009 at 3:46 pm

[re=347239]Uncle Al[/re]: ha ha, it’s kinda like when the schoolyard bully calls some other boy a “girl.” It’s the grossest of all insults. Sanford’s all like: Et tu, Brute?!?

SkimLatteModerate June 24, 2009 at 3:47 pm

Holy fuck. I can’t believe I missed that press conference.

I’m still trying to comprehend a (R) fucking a full-grown woman on the side.

TGY June 24, 2009 at 3:48 pm

[re=347241]facehead[/re]: OMG, Piercegate!

Snarkalicious June 24, 2009 at 3:48 pm

[re=347243]CivicHoliday[/re]: Ah, ah, ah…no jumping to conclusions. After all, nothing says “I can’t see you anymore, no hard feelings” like 14 year-old fake goat dong.

proudgrampa June 24, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Guess that’s why we call it Faux News.

bored with gravity June 24, 2009 at 3:52 pm

I found this comment on RedState:

“I would take my kids cabining or something to get away from the media.”

What the hell is cabining? Is that something Repubs usually do on the Appalachian Trail?

choinski June 24, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Fox: Stupid or lazy?

PrairiePossum June 24, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Even FOX can’t believe a hot, Argentinian adult woman would want to fuck a GOP wingnut.

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 3:55 pm

[re=347261]SkimLatteModerate[/re]: …full-grown LIVE woman…

Hooray For Anything June 24, 2009 at 3:55 pm

[re=347239]Uncle Al[/re]: It’s actually kind of throwing salt on the wound. Not only are you a conservative “pro family” Jeebus lover who just admitted to a whole bunch of not very pro, but you’ve also been smeared as a socialist, gay loving, baby killing, atheist liberal.

The Cold Sea June 24, 2009 at 3:57 pm

They do this shit all the time and it’s fucking OLD. Jesus Christmas St. Louis!

Vivling June 24, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Well, he just admitted to an affair with an adult human… with lady parts! Of COURSE the republicans don’t want to claim him. The shame

Mavky June 24, 2009 at 3:57 pm
PrairiePossum June 24, 2009 at 3:58 pm

[re=347271]bored with gravity[/re]:

I think the GOP should start having instructional seminars for their family values, Christian conservative elected officials instructing them how to respond when they get caught with their dicks stuck in the wrong places. Topics could include how to tell the spouse, how to tell the media, how to apologize to Jeebus, where to bury the whore’s body, etc.

ladymacbeth June 24, 2009 at 3:59 pm

that sign on the door looks like the EU logo.

librul for sure.

Come here a minute June 24, 2009 at 4:00 pm

He still didn’t answer the question on everyone’s mind: HOW WAS THE COASTLINE?

WadISay June 24, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Srsly, right now, today, would be a great time for Barry to repeal DADT.

Extemporanus June 24, 2009 at 4:03 pm

[re=347250]Carrie_Okie[/re]: I know exactly where Charlotte is, and said it for a reason. Though this debacle took place in SC, I didn’t pick a city like Charleston because it wouldn’t have sounded plausible that enough residents of the lovely Palmetto State have mastered the whole opposable thumb thing to open a Ray-Ban Sassoon. A trip to an NC day spa, however…

Also, was that English?

P Drizzle June 24, 2009 at 4:05 pm

He chose the tango over the square dance fer crissakes. That’s a libtard.

Joshua Norton June 24, 2009 at 4:05 pm

[re=347292]PrairiePossum[/re]: They really need that. Especially what to do with the body. Scarborough just left it there, hoping that people would just walk around it and not notice it was there.


Monsieur Grumpe June 24, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Ha! You are correct sir.

I bet he’s a black sox and sandals guy as well.

Lascauxcaveman June 24, 2009 at 4:09 pm

Big whoop.

All this means is that the D’s will will “keep” the gov seat at the next SC election, rather than “win” the gov seat. (With an entirely different D, after the primary, of course).

TeddyS June 24, 2009 at 4:10 pm

Senator Ensign of Nevada has sent a note of thanks for the governor of South Carolina.

Country Club Jihadi June 24, 2009 at 4:12 pm

D = Dirty Sanchez. Also, I wonder if the Argentinian has a Brazilian.

Joshua Norton June 24, 2009 at 4:13 pm

Sanford has also been an opponent of same-sex marriage, saying in 2004, “As Jenny and I are the parents of four little boys, we’ve always taught our kids that marriage was something between a man and a woman .”* [The Post and Courier, 2/11/04]

*Quote will updated to include “and his Argentinian mistress” for 2009.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 24, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Wait. “Democrat” is the new “Heterosexual”? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?

DangerousLiberal June 24, 2009 at 4:17 pm

There they go again. The evil fucking bastards. Fox News = Fail. But in mere seconds, the sheeple will be going on about that librul moran in S.Carolina.

azw88 June 24, 2009 at 4:20 pm

[re=347261]SkimLatteModerate[/re]: Are we really sure it was a woman??? I mean, have we seen photos and gotten a full DNA profile? S. America is a popular place for tranny surgery, so maybe he was being a good (R) after all, and thus Fox’s insult was for nothing.

garimpeiro June 24, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Wasn’t he the Democrat front-runner for 2012? Now who will they run?

NoWireHangers June 24, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Fox News>/b>

Mark Sanford (R) saves kitten from tree.

Mark Sanford (D) accidentally blows up the state, killing everyone.

Min June 24, 2009 at 4:30 pm

[re=347274]choinski[/re]: Nefarious.

finallyhappy June 24, 2009 at 4:34 pm

I was sick in bed(and the bathroom- but let’s not go there)- was he having sex on the Appalachian trail? Wasn’t that his story- he was “hiking” to get away from it all. Is hiking a new sex term that we old people don’t know?

FormerDCite June 24, 2009 at 4:35 pm

Folks, please remember we are still in the month of Poon. Therefore all politicians that are caught banging someone other than their wife will be caught with a woman.

Nerdalicious June 24, 2009 at 4:41 pm

I bet he wished he was swallowed by a sinkhole in the Dead Sea at this point. What kind of scumbag refuses stim money for the poor sheeples then flies to Argentina for viagra sexytime on Father’s Day??? Now I understand why his wife turned him in. She knew. I hope she kicks him out of the pool house in the Gov Mansion. Family Values strikes again!

mrpuma2u June 24, 2009 at 4:45 pm

Was Carrie Prejean typing the crawl/letter feed??? She still works for Faux news the last I heard.

Hedley Lamar June 24, 2009 at 4:52 pm

This is just like the wingnuts spinning that the holocaust museum shooter as a liberal. Who you gonna
believe… me or your lyin’ eyes?

Plus, I want to see photos of the mistress. I’ll bet she has a mustache.

KilgoreTrout_XL June 24, 2009 at 4:58 pm

Some gay married dude obviously de-sanctified the shit out of the sacred sanctities of Sanford’s marriage, so “fuck it”, he said, and then “Hey, Mike in Brazil seems to be enjoying himself,” and “I’ll just buy some meth, and go to Argentina and bang shit.”

I Am Not Your Gary Busey June 24, 2009 at 5:05 pm

Oh joy, It’s Cocktober in June! Or is it Summer of Cum Redux? Only time and two more months of hell in Dallas will tell.

Bebe Loves You June 24, 2009 at 5:06 pm

I can’t believe a Republican Governor is outsourcing booty-calls to Argentina.

inedalo June 24, 2009 at 5:11 pm

why wasn’t Sanford’s wife standing by his side looking glum and grim, as he gave his marvelous “confession.”
how do these wingnuts do it with a straight face? (since as we know they are so twisted inside; this governor dude broke the law of jesus on the sacredness of marriage, etc.
and would someone please supply a foto of the woman being that lured this fool for love all the way from SC to Argentina! just to get some nooky!!
with a tip to Gov. Naval Ensign, doesn’t Sanford have a staffer closer at home who could satisfy his sinful lusts?

riverside68 June 24, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Am I correct that the only evidence we have for the gender of the “dear dear Friend” is the word of Sanford? We need a full frontal before I will be convinced. (I am not saying that Sanford is necessarily lying, but maybe he didn’t know either, it could have been his first bj, he wasn’t going to ask any questions.)

bjkeefe June 24, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[re=347213]Speed Ball[/re]: Good catch. Here’s still another example of the same stunt.

NoWireHangers June 24, 2009 at 5:21 pm

When you cheat on your wife with another woman you’re a D.

When you cheat on your secret boyfriend with a minor you’re an R.

paintitblack June 24, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=347461]NoWireHangers[/re]: thanks for the clarification!

Mr Blifil June 24, 2009 at 5:28 pm

They meant to say “Gov. bin Laden (D).”

AxmxZ June 24, 2009 at 5:42 pm

[re=347453]riverside68[/re]: Thing is, I don’t recall hearing a gender from Sanford either – just “dear friend” and “person.”

Mahousu June 24, 2009 at 5:46 pm

[re=347288]Mavky[/re]: Oh, those emails!
I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details …

Mahousu June 24, 2009 at 5:57 pm

[re=347489]Mahousu[/re]: And of course, her name is Maria.

He just kissed a girl named Maria.
And suddenly he found
How wonderful a sound [and boobies]
Can be.

goodluck/badluck June 24, 2009 at 6:30 pm

[re=347249]Serolf Divad[/re]: more like ‘discharge’ (exits stage left, dancing sideways)

Wonderman June 24, 2009 at 7:24 pm

If this sad sack can bed a hot Argentinian (god, I hope she’s hot), there’s hope for all sad sacks everywhere.

maven June 24, 2009 at 9:02 pm

No doubt they are doing this intentionally, if Hitler could be repeatedly proclaimed a leftist by Fox news commentators, then Sanford can certainly be called a Democrat.

Potater June 24, 2009 at 10:15 pm

They did the same with Foley and Craig. Hell, they’d name Herbert Hoover a Democrat if they had a chance.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 25, 2009 at 1:34 am

He was having sex with a women of legal age that speaks Mexican. Damn well sounds like a Democrat to me.

nader paul kucinich gravel June 25, 2009 at 10:24 am

Top of the propaganda slag heap.
The easy one to spot ~

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: