this is how revolutions start

Texas Town Turns Down Socialist Blood Money But Then Takes It A Day Later

Enough of your fruity beverages, Nobama!The city of Mansfield, Texas took a bold stand against the socialist Kenyan martyr Barack Obama and his free-spending ways on Monday, opting not to take $38,000 in FREE FEDERAL GRANT MONEY that they had applied for. They were going to send Washington a message: a message that said, “Yes, we requested federal assistance to improve our police force, but now we do not want it because … socialism?”

But then they thought it over and on Tuesday decided they would reluctantly take the filthy Obamabucks that they had just proudly opted to turn down.

The reversal came at an emergency meeting Tuesday afternoon after a night’s sleep and a warning from Public Safety Director Bill Lane that rejecting one grant could cost the city two related grants totaling more than $300,000 for police communication upgrades.

So now they will be forced to spend a $38,000 grant over four years for a part-time crime analyst, instead of spending the money on something useful, like teabags.

Mansfield reverses course, accepts federal grant to pay for part-time crime analyst [Star-Telegram]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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55 comments

  1. Mr Blifil

    A night’s sleep is all it took to come down from the Galt high? I would have thought a week “south of the border” was what the doctor ordered.

  2. norbizness

    Damn, it’s too hot down here (100 degrees for about two weeks) to be doin’ any policin’.

    And remember (paraphrasing Barney Frank): Only spending money on defense contractors who build planes that will never see any activity generates jobs. Everything else is LIBERAL SMELLFARE.

  3. forgracie

    I bet granny there takes her SSD/Medicare/Medicaide/SSI/free prescriptions. The whole lot of them are on the dole, yet bitchin about the guvment–just like Phil Gramm–a man who never passed up a swipe at the guvment teat, yet worked to limit everyone else’s access. Also.

  4. freakishlystrong

    Gads, I always wish those are photoshopped pictures, but I know, deep in my heart that they’re not, and then I wish I could live in Europe…

  5. Failed 2 Menace

    The emergency meeting’s tide turned when an enormous anthropomorphic glass pitcher with Obama’s face burst through the wall and yealled, “OH YEEEEEEEAH!”

  6. nappyduggs

    They will actuallyuse the stimulus cheese to purchase a full set of “Walker, Texas Ranger” for every household in Mansfield so that people can be prepared for the hitting of the fan by the shit.

    And everybody knows that Red Kool-Aid is the official drink of Communists. Purple. Always. Please.

  7. InsidiousTuna

    [re=346209]TGY[/re]: Yeah. They realized that this money would buy a brand new King Ranch F-250 with the chrome step-ups and 6-CD changer for all their Garth Brooks albums.

  8. BillyClubb

    “I absolutely do not agree with anything that our current president is currently doing, and certainly I think the stimulus bill is a completely bad idea,” Hoffman said. “If other cities stand up and do the same thing, hopefully it will send a message.”

    Yep, we got your message: you didn’t think before you spoke.

  9. Leopolt

    I once lived in a suburb neighboring Mansfield. It is one of the crappiest place on Gawd’s green earth, mile after mile of junk yards, capped off by some titty bars and adult video stores near the I-20 exits. $38,000 could keep the Mansfield town council in Bibles and meth for a year.

  10. SayItWithWookies

    For it before you’re against it = idiot.
    Against it before you’re for it = genius.

    Yeah I see how this works.

  11. hobospacejunkie

    I’m sure they’ll have no problem finding a part-time crime analyst with CSI stars in his eyes who wants to live & work in Fucknutz, Texas, famous for never being heard of.

  12. BlueStateLibtard

    Swipe the photo for a fun caption! But it’s wrong, Michelle would never let her kids drink that sugar crap. And very very scary, but she looks like my last psychotic boss.

  13. HIROHITO99

    I live about one exit down the highway from Mansfield. It’s a funny little town. It used to be known as the city with the most-biggest truck-nutz and highest per-capita of trailer-living welfare rednecks in the area.

    One day, they got a new Target and someone started building McMansions all over the damned place. Now they have a country club. They’ve also got a very nice boutique beer store.

    Apparently they’re still a bunch of whiney bitch-boy welfare rednecks but I do love that beer store. I mean, where else am I going to shop if I don’t want to drink Shiner?

  14. HIROHITO99

    [re=346221]Leopolt[/re]: Oh Mansfield has changed. It’s become the Plano of the Fort Worth area.

  15. WadISay

    Problem: Keys locked in car.
    Analysis; Shit-for-brains rednecks.
    Problem: Meth.
    Analysis; Shit-for-brains rednecks.
    Problem: Bar fights.
    Analysis; Shit-for-brains rednecks.

    $38,000, please.

  16. S.Luggo

    Wealthy community, actually. Mansfield will use the $38k to keep the Mexicans from sleeping on the golf course.

  17. ProfessorJukes

    A “part-time crime analyst”? First, $38K is pretty good for a part-time gig. Second, what exactly is he analyzing in a town of 41-thousand?
    “Eh, looks like somebody broke into Jim-Bob’s shed and fucked 2 of his chickens. Again. We think it might be negroes, but no white women were violated, so probably not. We’re also trying to figure out why Jim-Bob’s got scratch marks on his fore-arms and thighs… but I already put in 25 hours this week so I’m a-goin’ home.”

  18. McDuff

    “I absolutely do not agree with anything that our current president is currently doing, ….”

    Yep, nothing he does is any good. That bastard had his kids AFTER he was married, and he’s still married to their mother! He’s even trying to quit smoking! He doesn’t drive a pickup and his dog is still alive. What kind of message does that send to us Bible humpers here in the South where the rates of teen motherhood, divorce, and smoking are higher than in Yankeeland? It’s just insulting that’s what it is — how’s anyone gonna be inspired to write a county song about a guy who’s that f*cking happy?

  19. germansteel

    Show me somebody stupid enough to do his “message sending” by turning down money – even for a second – and I’ll show you a front runner for the next Republican Party nomination for Preznit.

  20. PrairiePossum

    Oh stimulus money, I just can’t quit you. If lovin’ you is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  21. SayItWithWookies

    [re=346236]bitchincamaro[/re]: He looks like he’s fresh out of Jackalope Junior Business College and wants to inject some leadership into the town council meetings. And someone needs to stuff a giant tampon in his mouth.

  22. BlueStateLibtard

    [re=346250]McDuff[/re]: You bring up a great point. I always like to shove it in Repubatards’ face that the divorce and teen-birth rates are lower in godless Massachusetts than in any of the red states.

  23. The Dallas Office

    What you guys need to realize is that Mansfield is in Tarrant County, and is thus a Fort Worth suburb. You can rest assured that sensible Dallas people would have quickly accepted these funds and used them on liquor, strippers and a trip to Neiman’s.

  24. Go Figure

    They replayed Wanda Sykes comedy schtick– Wanda asks the question ” Who doesn’t take money???”

    Besides, now they can stock up on those 3 X5 Confederate “Rebel” flags- line the streets with ‘em for teh 4th of July, & get that gynormic 30 X 50 sized Confederate flag, mounted on the 139 foot flagpole as the *Crowning Glory* of Mansfield Texas.

    He he– they’ll show that Socialist President who’s boss. But first they gotta cash the Social Security check, and get Medicare covered prescriptions.

    They just needed to add some Vodka to the Kool Aid to make to go down easier. Yee Haw!

  25. Crazybroad

    You’re willing to take those socialist welfare $$, but not grant $$ for the police department — *headdesk*. Where are those TX secessionists, and how can I donate to their cause?

    [re=346201]LittlePig[/re]: Niiiiiice.

  26. iolanthe

    Man, you can just smell the pork-sweat on that fat bitch, can’t you? Or is that a guy? Hard to tell in rednecks past 50 sometimes.

    And it isn’t just the Fat and the Ugly. You can just *feel* the mean coming off of this hideous old cunt.

  27. McDuff

    [re=346282]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: I’ve concluded that mega-church members are like medieval Catholics — they never actually read the Bible, they just let the minister tell them what’s in it.

    Today’s reading, Matthew 5:44 — “Love your enemies.” Brothers and sisters, what Jesus was really say’n in this here verse was that Obama is bad, don’t feed the hungry, screw them kids once they’ve been born, and vote Republican because God is a libertarian gun-lovin’ unregulated no-tax capitalist social conservative who hates everyone not like him — after all he shot that “Good” Samaritan for looking at a white woman. Amen.

  28. The Schadenfried PAC

    What is is about towns named Mansfield? I went to college for two years in Mansfield, PA and they were full of bumblefuck rednecks too.

  29. octupletsmom

    Jeebus, I hate the Dallas-Arlington area. Some of Fort Worth is a little bit fun to visit for a few hours. But most of the Metroplex is the stoopedest part of the fucking country. I lived in Texas for a looong time, and that area was one of the (okay, many) cities-and-towns even I would not consider dwelling in. Ever. The End.

  30. bullship

    Money would be better spent for a community hospital. God know it must cause considerable pain to be as stupid as a Texan.

  31. Lascauxcaveman

    $300,000 for police communication upgrades.

    That is one hella monstertruckload o’ walkie-talkies.

  32. LittlePig

    [re=346329]McDuff[/re]: You won’t hear any Matthew, Mark or Luke in the mega-churches. It’s all John (“all ya got to do to get inta Heaven is kiss Jesus’ ass!”), the bitchy parts of the letters and OT fire-and-brimstone.

    “Jesus wants yew to be rich, act however you want, and help Him smite the wicked (that is, everbody but us)”

  33. Barrelhse

    What a bunch of ignorant fools. Please, secede. We’ll ALL be happier when you can do your inbreeding in your very own country.

  34. Bowdoin

    [re=346338]bullship[/re]: I was born and raised in the general region, near the Red River, and my brother is the only Democrat in and around Ft Worth to this day, and I agree with you about the stupid, but remember there is a chance they were thinking outside the box in Mansfield, like the famous southern philosopher Brother Dave Gardner, who said, “I believe in making everything legal; that way, you wouldn’have no crime.” If there’s no crime, there’s no need for crime fighting.

    Another idea from the region, make crime illegal. That’ll fix it.

  35. Bowdoin

    [re=346204]forgracie[/re]: This is not just myth. I knew ‘em. They would be receiving Pension from VA or SSI from Social Security and be the grittiest fiscal conservativist ever about “welfare cadillac.” There was also this tool caught on camera with a placard during the tempest in the teabag who wailed about taxes and the lost revenue of not paying them in one breath. “Who’ll pay the bills? My kids?” He didn’t pay taxes himself, being on the VA dole. And then there was the meeting of the so-called millitia, which fought against gumint intervention generally and for rugged individualism, and it was calculated there was some sixty grand a year going to these duds in the form of whiteboy welfare, or the Soil Bank where the government pays them not to grow something.

  36. TeddyS

    I had held the leadership of Mansfield, Texas, in such high esteem. Now, sob, I haz sads that they have no fuckin’ idea about what they are doing.

  37. rich bachelor

    That’s a nice piece of nose-cutting-off, face-spiting there, Mansfield.

    Surely there’s some sorta ‘no takebacks’ clause in the stimulus bill?

  38. helaste

    [re=346230]HIROHITO99[/re]: Oh wow, I lived in Mansfield for about a decade, ending in 2004… there were the most bizarre crimes in that town; Do you remember some years ago when a guy killed his whole family and left them sitting in recliners in the living room of their trailer, and he hung car air fresheners all around the house to conceal the stench? that was about a mile down the road from our house.

    And my senior year of high school, the editor of the yearbook objected to a certain spread because it featured prominently a picture of a black student and she didn’t want no coloreds in their yearbook.

    And then when they opened a new high school, they had a redistricting commission that drew the lines such that all the black kids and Mexicans went to one school and the country club crowd went to another. Fuck ‘em, though; they then went on to lose every football game after that.

    Oh, oh, and there was the time when I was in the 9th grade and my teacher asked everyone to stand on one side of the room if they believed the earth had been created in 7 days and another side of the room if they believe in evolution, and I was the only person in a class of 30 who stood on the evolution side.

    And my first day of driver’s ed, the teacher walked in and asked, “Are there any Muslims in here?” And then started babbling about how if his daughter became pregnant, she ain’t gettin’ no abortions.

    I always liked to think that maybe by meeting me, a godless liberal Jew, and seeing that I’m more or less human, their minds were expanded just a tiny bit… probably not, though.

  39. Tommmcatt

    [re=347339]helaste[/re]:

    I thought Jewish Texans were a myth, like faithful Republicans or “Hope”.

  40. Mad Farmer Manifest

    [re=346206]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: That would solve many problems.

    Is anyone else her terrified by the fat zombie racist grandma in that picture? You know that crazy bitter bitch slaps her grandkids.

Comments are closed.