WTF?  9:45 am June 24, 2009

Sanford Went On Sexy Solo Vacation To Buenos Aires, Not Appalachia

by Sara K. Smith

The fuck have you been up to, guy?What in holy Hell has Mark Sanford been up to? He did NOT go nude tree-humping with a bunch of federally funded nature queers on the Appalachian Trail this weekend; instead, he went to Buenos Aires. Anybody who has left the house thinking they’d like to go on a local nature hike and ended up spending the weekend in an exotic South American capital can agree that this is a perfectly normal switcheroo!

A single South Carolina newspaper cornered Sanford this morning at the Atlanta airport, which he flew into so that he could avoid being pestered by this bothersome press corps that demands to know where a state’s chief executive is every single second of the frigging day.

Sanford said he decided not to return via the Columbia airport to avoid the media. The State Media Company was the only media who greeted Sanford this morning.

Bravo, The State Media Company! Who do they know that hates Sanford enough to rat him out like that?

When asked why his staff said he was on the Appalachian Trail, Sanford replied, “I don’t know.”

Sanford later said “in fairness to his staff,” he had told them he might go hiking on the Appalachian Trail.

OH WELL THEN.

So here is the question: does anybody actually believe that he went off for a few days to “decompress” following a difficult legislative session when his wife issues ominous quotes about his needing to be alone to do some writing, and then asks the press to “leave us to our privacy”? Does that really sound like a family that is suffering, emotionally, due to politics?

Sanford met in Atlanta after returning from South America [The State]

 
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{ 177 comments }

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend June 24, 2009 at 10:04 am

It sounds like a lying brain-dead twat who needs to fucking resign, and soon. The people in South Carolina need to protest or get on twitter or something to give him the ole heave ho.

TastyCakes June 24, 2009 at 10:05 am

Somewhere, in a crawl space in South Carolina, there is a dead hooker.

Mild Midwesterner June 24, 2009 at 10:05 am

Fill me up with your heat, with your noise
With your dirt, overdo me
Let me dance to your beat, make it loud
Let it hurt, run it through me.
Don’t hold back, you are certain to impress
Tell the driver this is where I’m staying

Hello, Buenos Aires
Get this, just look at me dressed up, somewhere to go
We’ll put on a show

InsidiousTuna June 24, 2009 at 10:06 am

Neda gave her life for this fuckery? For shame.

Texan Bulldoggette June 24, 2009 at 10:06 am

Did Rush loan out his butt boy down there?

Joehoya June 24, 2009 at 10:06 am

He wants to be a part of BA, Buenos Aires, big apple!

Dave J. June 24, 2009 at 10:07 am

There are two reasons that guys just suddenly on the spur of the moment decide to blow off work for a week to travel to some foreign city–drugs, or poon. That’s pretty much it. I can’t even begin to imagine how awkward those conversations inside the Sanford house are going to be. Yow.

zvikk June 24, 2009 at 10:08 am

One word: GAY

Origami June 24, 2009 at 10:08 am

I’d like to think he went to Argentina to go have sex with a handsome young olive-skinned man named “Juan,” but jetting off to lovely South American countries on a moment’s notice seems a little too “exotic swarthy billionaire” for this turd.

Maybe he went to go solve the Air France mystery, landed in Buenos Aires and was just like “fuck it, let’s go pay some men for sex?”

MattW June 24, 2009 at 10:08 am

Fake out in Buenos Aires!

Oldskool June 24, 2009 at 10:10 am

I’m embarrassed that we get this kind of entertainment for free. We really should send his party a regular stipend. Hey, the jackass show on cable turns a profit, so should Repubs!

vespula maculata June 24, 2009 at 10:10 am

How fast we learn the boyfriend’s name will prove whether there are any real investigative journalists left or not.

BlueStateLibtard June 24, 2009 at 10:11 am

Oh boy, this guy’s got it coming. You know when CNN spends 15 minutes on this story, as they did this morning, they will send out as many unpaid “i-reporters” and “twitterers” as they can to get to the bottom of.

PerhapsSo June 24, 2009 at 10:12 am

A trip to Argentina for Father’s Day? Allow me to be the first to dub his illegitimate Argentine offspring the “Sanfordistas.”

paintitblack June 24, 2009 at 10:12 am

Tall & tan & young & lovely, the boy from Ipenema goes walking, and when he passes, each one he passes goes: aaaaahhhh…

WadISay June 24, 2009 at 10:12 am

Check his suitcase for a gaucho costume.

ph7 June 24, 2009 at 10:13 am

Decompress = a “baile hot” from Andrea Rincon

freeatlast June 24, 2009 at 10:13 am

Bullshit. This guy is someone’s baby daddy and this trip was his attempt at silencing the baby momma on father’s day.

nbawriter June 24, 2009 at 10:13 am

Only serious hikers know about the high-speed underground train that takes you from the Appalachian Trail to Buenos Aires.

Maybe you fat-fuck couch potatoes ought to use your Timberlands for what they were intended to do once in a while.

Monsieur Grumpe June 24, 2009 at 10:13 am

I hope he brought something back for the wife and kids that’s not in the form of an STD.

Saragon June 24, 2009 at 10:13 am

For all we know, he took a flight to Buenos Aires and came back to the states from there. Conspiracy!

Seriously, my hookers-and-blow bet in the pool looks safer and safer.

monkeyrotica June 24, 2009 at 10:13 am

Funny. I would have pegged him as the sorta guy you’d finding hanging naked from a belt in a Thai brothel closet. Color me embarrassed.

bitchincamaro June 24, 2009 at 10:13 am

It’s winter there, so can we rule out the “working on my tan” theory?

caieva June 24, 2009 at 10:14 am

10 hour flight on a whim.

Hawaiiexpat June 24, 2009 at 10:14 am

Buenos Aires is a gay-friendly city.

He’s a Republican politician.

No duh…

x111e7thst June 24, 2009 at 10:14 am

[re=346108]Dave J.[/re]: Paco (residue from cocaine production,smokeable, cheap, very addictive) and prettyboys.

Dave J. June 24, 2009 at 10:14 am

Up next on Bravo, “Sanford y hijo

Failed 2 Menace June 24, 2009 at 10:14 am

If his colon could be asked where it’s been, it would reply, “I don’t know – this condom full of blow has been blocking my view the last two days.”

Texan Bulldoggette June 24, 2009 at 10:15 am

To add to the intrigue, someone at TPM said it’s winter there–the high was 51 yesterday. Sounds like a good reason for some ‘indoor activities’.

hobospacejunkie June 24, 2009 at 10:15 am

Damn libtard media. Every time a republican seems next in line to be their party’s 2012 frontrunner he/she gets smeared like a fat flying bug on a car windshield. Palin, Piyush, Ensign & now Sanford. If this isn’t enough evidence of a vast, left-wing media conspiracy then nothing is or ever will be.

nappyduggs June 24, 2009 at 10:16 am

“in fairness to his staff,” he had told them he might go hiking on the Appalachian Trail.

In his head it sounded like this:
“Maybe I’ll go hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Maybe I’ll go to Tibet and seek spiritual enlightenment. Or maybe I’ll just fly down to Argentina and get me some tits put on my chest. Yeah. Mark Sanford wants him some tits to wear. How do ya like them apples?”

bitchincamaro June 24, 2009 at 10:16 am

Oh, and did you all catch the really, really, really* awkward interview with his Lt. Gov. on Rachel last night?

*to be read in Rachel’s sometimes annoying style

Johnny Zhivago June 24, 2009 at 10:18 am

Could the Gov be doing some fooling around with an adult female person? That would explain the secrecy…

magic titty June 24, 2009 at 10:18 am

Sanford/Pool Boy 2012!

WIDTAP June 24, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=346114]vespula maculata[/re]: That would be Larry Sinclair.

president of the united states of love June 24, 2009 at 10:19 am

“Don’t cry for me, I was in Argentina!
The truth is, I never meant for you to find out I’d left you
S’posed to be done with my wild days,
No more mad existence
I didn’t keep my promise,
But kept my distance,
Didn’t keep my promise!”

from the new musical, “Evade-A (state government)”

Dave J. June 24, 2009 at 10:19 am

[re=346136]bitchincamaro[/re]: His Lt. Gov was on Rachel Ray? That makes no sense at all. NOTHING ABOUT THIS STORY MAKES SENSE!11!1!

thejesusandmarycheney June 24, 2009 at 10:19 am

“Trying to make such a drive could frustrate a weekend visitor to Argentina. In Buenos Aires, the Avenida Costanera is the only coastal road, and it’s less than two miles long. Reaching coastal resorts to the south requires a drive of nearly four hours on an inland highway with views of endless cattle ranches. To the north is a river delta of islands reached only by boat.”

haha now MSNBC is just trolling.

ManchuCandidate June 24, 2009 at 10:19 am

It won’t be easy, you’ll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your vote after all that I’ve done

You won’t believe me
All you will see is a gov that once ruled
Although he’s dressed up to the nines
All eye tucks and chin lifts for you

I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn’t stand budgets with oppression
Dealing with that fake Muslin, forcing me to take cash

So I chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to

Don’t cry for me South Carolina
The truth is I never left you
All through my hikes
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don’t make me spend the money

Mr Blifil June 24, 2009 at 10:19 am

I guess for Father’s Day he was busy being a Daddy.

Woodwards Friend June 24, 2009 at 10:19 am

I blame Obama.

Unlearned Hand June 24, 2009 at 10:20 am

I agree with the “dead hooker” theorists upthread. I think he only came back when the local lawyers told him we have an extradition treaty with Argentina.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_extradition_treaties

Next time, he should try Cambodia. Boy-whores and no extradition.

nbawriter June 24, 2009 at 10:20 am

Everyone knows that the white supremacists run off to Argentina when they don’t get their way — duh.

TGY June 24, 2009 at 10:22 am

You don’t have to go that far for a hot South American speedo boy. My guess is, he was meeting with nazis or Peronists. “Don’t cry for me, Argentina” my ass.

Godot June 24, 2009 at 10:22 am

But didn’t his staff say yesterday, when they revealed he was on the Appalachian Trail, that they had spoken to him, which was how they knew he’d be back today? Did they just forget to ask him where he was when they spoke to him or what?

Manos: Hands of Fate June 24, 2009 at 10:23 am

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE SANFORD A DULL BOY

Cape Clod June 24, 2009 at 10:23 am

Why would anybody want to hide the fact that they went to Argentina? Belgium, OK, but Argentina?

charlesdegoal June 24, 2009 at 10:24 am

The State Media Company sounds like something left over from the communist era, before the fall of the Mason-Dixon Wall.
Also, remember that it takes two to tango.

InsidiousTuna June 24, 2009 at 10:25 am

Maybe he just wanted to get really, really high and catch up on Entourage before the new season starts. Why does everything on this site have to involve slammin’ ass?

Lascauxcaveman June 24, 2009 at 10:25 am

I think the answer is more simple. He needed an abortion, and you can’t get those in South Carolina.

thejesusandmarycheney June 24, 2009 at 10:26 am

[re=346151]Godot[/re]: It was a bit hard to make out what Sanford was saying over the hot tango beats.

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 10:26 am

He was OBVIOUSLY there to place a down-payment on a compound to flee to when the taxpayers of South Carolina realize what a feckless, grandstanding ass-clown they’ve got in their governor’s mansion…

nappyduggs June 24, 2009 at 10:26 am

[re=346152]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: What a way to WIN.

Terry June 24, 2009 at 10:27 am

I’m surprised that it took this long for folks to notice his SUV in the parking lot of the Columbia Airport. The airport is teeny and the parking lot is smaller than that at most Target stores.

Let’s predict the future, shall we?

State legislators, both sides of the aisle, are going to do his best to drive him out of office

Sanford will come out with a teary admission of some kind of emotional low point or breakdown.

There will be a press conference with his tight lipped wife standing near him.

He’ll leave office, either by choice or be run out

After a socially acceptable amount of time, his wife will divorce him.

Godot June 24, 2009 at 10:27 am

So, snorting blow off a 12-year-old tranny hooker’s ass is the consensus, right?

S.Luggo June 24, 2009 at 10:27 am

Be kind. He had to get his bolos polished.

[re=346135]nappyduggs[/re]: The Appalachian Trail is what the hookers in Buenos Aires call their thatch.

magic titty June 24, 2009 at 10:28 am

Hm. He says it was a tough legislative session, and his wife said he wanted to get away from the kids for a while. I wonder which one is lying the most?

Canmon (the Inadequate) June 24, 2009 at 10:28 am

[re=346121]freeatlast[/re]: Sanford and son?

Come here a minute June 24, 2009 at 10:28 am

Bullshit. This guy is the head of a South Carolina drug ring and this trip was his attempt at silencing an Argentinian drug lord before the shit hit the fan.

tunamelt June 24, 2009 at 10:30 am

Was he wearing a diaper when he returned to this country?

CrunchyKnee June 24, 2009 at 10:30 am

“My father went to Argentina for anonymous gay buttsecks and all I got was this lousy tee-shirt.”

Frampton Comes Alive June 24, 2009 at 10:32 am

Today, we are all Appalachian Trail hikers….

Kingbee June 24, 2009 at 10:32 am

Can hardly wait for the memoirs —
Tranny Hooker in Buenos Aires: The Secret Double Life of a Governor

ph7 June 24, 2009 at 10:32 am

[re=346152]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Jenny…I’mmmmmm homeeeee!!!

Mumbletypeg June 24, 2009 at 10:32 am

The blingee-fication of this itinerant, Teabag 2.0-flubbing, Paw-paw Patch-slinking charlatan should be something special. I hope someone is taking time to render this, please. Sanford has earned it.

http://www.songsforteaching.com/folk/pawpawpatch.htm

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=346149]TGY[/re]: “You don’t have to go that far for a hot South American speedo boy.” True. There’s *tons* in my neighborhood…thank God!

charlesdegoal June 24, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=346143]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: It’s also winter down there.

thejesusandmarycheney June 24, 2009 at 10:34 am

[re=346178]Autochthon[/re]: TCIUWP (this comment is useless without pics)

Mr Blifil June 24, 2009 at 10:35 am

51 degrees! Let’s go to the beach!

bitchincamaro June 24, 2009 at 10:36 am

[re=346142]Dave J.[/re]: @ 06:24 (after the ad, of course)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/#31514948

speedo June 24, 2009 at 10:36 am

Maybe he went there to have his chest waxed, or pec implants, or a butt lift. The last is unnecessary since his butt is already high enough, placed so firmly on top of his neck.

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=346180]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: Let me work on that – they swarm down here like horny, well-oiled mole-crickets…

DirtyHarriett June 24, 2009 at 10:38 am

[re=346142]Dave J.[/re]: And he was too through with Gov. Sanford.

ummm June 24, 2009 at 10:39 am

[re=346117]paintitblack[/re]: Ipanema is in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, not Buenos Aires!

dsdrane June 24, 2009 at 10:40 am

This has made Mother’s day.

hobospacejunkie June 24, 2009 at 10:40 am

Like Grandpa on The Simpsons exclaims when told he gets to break Bart’s teeth in retaliation for Bart breaking Grandpa’s dentures: “Oh, this is gonna be sweet.”The media frenzy to retrace every last step of Sanford’s 6-day cruise to an uncharted desert isle will carry the next 10 news cycles & keep the fake US America v. Iran squabble on the backburner, thereby helping the Iranian protesters. So obviously Sanford was sent on this mission by the president himself! Brilliant move, Hopey!

pumaspaco June 24, 2009 at 10:40 am

Appalachia, Argentina, the staff probably doesn’t know the difference.

thejesusandmarycheney June 24, 2009 at 10:41 am

[re=346187]ummm[/re]: yeah, Sanford screwed us out of a lot of song-based jokes by not going to Rio.

germansteel June 24, 2009 at 10:41 am

Chris Matthews is usually such a douche, but he actually said something intelligent and pithy this morning on “Morning Joe” during their discussion of Sanford’s Rio revelation. He summed up the state of the current Republican Party and its so-called “presidential hopefuls” by lumping Sanford in with Sarah Palin, Ensign and Jindal, and then, for good measure said, “Oh yeah, and Rick Perry.” He said it not in a good way.

norbizness June 24, 2009 at 10:42 am

He heard that some stimulus money was being diverted into funding underground Argentinian cocaine n’ massage parlors, and went undercover as Santos L. Halper to investigate.

norbizness June 24, 2009 at 10:43 am

[re=346189]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Sorry for the additional Simpsons reference I made. I think Sanford is doing the electoral equivalent of busting up mustard packets with a hammer on the nice new carpet.

NoWireHangers June 24, 2009 at 10:45 am

You, cosmetic procedures are generally safe and affordable in Buenos Aires. Maybe Sanford was just having the sand removed from his vagina. I believe it’s called “vaginal rejuvenation”.

S.Luggo June 24, 2009 at 10:47 am

Ai-yai-yai-yai-yai! Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do!

hobospacejunkie June 24, 2009 at 10:49 am

[re=346198]norbizness[/re]: No apology (ever) necessary. Anything in service of the funny!

rachelv June 24, 2009 at 10:50 am

wonder if he’ll come back with a new nose… or would we already have heard the story about him falling down the stairs at the airport… or crashing into a tree on the Appalachian trail… or tripping in the sand on the Argentine coast…

Keram2 June 24, 2009 at 10:53 am

Psssh. I bet Sanford is a fucking River fan. Fuckin’ millonarios.

bricks June 24, 2009 at 10:55 am

I guess this dickhole thinks he’s too good to fuck strange dudes in truck stops along I-26 like the rest of the closeted republicans, Oh no- he has to fly to South America to hit that anonymous manass.

Damned elitist.

spalding June 24, 2009 at 10:55 am

10 hrs down to spend a week in BA… there are banks in Argentina, and sins other than coke fueled tranny but-seks ( but not as funny)

McDuff June 24, 2009 at 10:56 am

Hey, give the guy a break, he was just checking out the guest quarters at W’s “ranch” in Paraguay.

Min June 24, 2009 at 10:57 am

[re=346190]pumaspaco[/re]: To be fair, they do both start with “A”.

Although I’m very disappointed. Whatever happened to “America First” when politicians are patronizing plastic surgeons or prostitutes? Or the many other Republican leisure activities that start with “P”.

DanielG June 24, 2009 at 10:58 am

It’ll turn out he’s got a girlfriend with a name like, maybe Tangetta or something. In an obscure Argentine town (is there another kind?) named Gazpacho.

assistant/atlas June 24, 2009 at 11:01 am

Right now, in newsrooms across America:

Reporter: Sanford was in Buenos Aires! I’ve got to go and investigate!
Editor: Buenos Aires, are you fucking kidding me? We just laid off three-fourths of the staff and sold the fax machine–we can’t afford to send you to Argentina.
Reporter: But it’s journalismism!
Editor: Journalism is dead.
Reporter: But he might’ve been fucking a dead girl or a live boy!
Editor: …well, that is an important story….alright, fine.

And that, friends, is why all media is awful.

StripesAndPlaids June 24, 2009 at 11:05 am

Honest mistake. He told his staff, “I’m going after some Argentinan Tail” they heard “Appalachian trail.”

CthuNHu June 24, 2009 at 11:08 am

He just wanted to catch the Argentinian premiere ofI Know What You Did Last Week.

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 11:08 am

[re=346241]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: Oh, well played, sir!

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 11:09 am

[re=346241]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: Or mam!

S.Luggo June 24, 2009 at 11:10 am

This gets better and better.
http://www.southernpoliticalreport.com/storylink_624_918.aspx
“South Carolina legislators considering impeachment for Sanford”

*******
BTW: Governor Moon Beam is giving a press conference at 2 p.m. Live blogging?

Min June 24, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=346241]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: Or he said “I’m going after some alpaca tail”, which actually does sound a little like Appalachian Trail.

writer_mike June 24, 2009 at 11:14 am

“nude tree-humping with a bunch of federally funded nature queers”????

Could you be any more offensive than that?

norbizness June 24, 2009 at 11:16 am

Or he said “Can’t talk now… coming down.”

oldguy June 24, 2009 at 11:17 am

Oh where are the Google Street View shots or accidental cell-phone photos? Or just simple straightforward extortion candids????

PLEASE!

AKAM80TheWolf June 24, 2009 at 11:18 am

Argentina was just the first stop on his “Family Values Tour”. Next destination? The Dominican Republic!

Vanity Smurf June 24, 2009 at 11:19 am

This is turning into a Scooby Doo episode…. and he’d have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids.

He probably saw the movie Testosterone which is like a two hour gay tourism commercial for Argentina. Somebody needs to check his secret NetFlix account’s history.

We’ll should have a few hot boys claiming to have spent Daddy’s Day with this guy by no later than this weekend. Didn’t take Larry Craig’s tricklist long to call the media.

dogfather June 24, 2009 at 11:19 am

[re=346125]monkeyrotica[/re]: Sorry, monkey, but I think someone else pegged him first.

GinnyRED57 June 24, 2009 at 11:19 am

And so: consensus is gaycation, si o no?

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 11:19 am

[re=346249]S.Luggo[/re]: “How to Destroy a Political Career in Six Days Without Really Trying”

BadKitty June 24, 2009 at 11:20 am

[re=346190]pumaspaco[/re]: That’s my theory. They’re both “A” words. Easy to mix up if you’re an ignorant putz.

oldguy June 24, 2009 at 11:20 am

Phone records and bank transfers. Also.

Woodwards Friend June 24, 2009 at 11:20 am

[re=346259]writer_mike[/re]: If the federally funded nature queers were Muslims that would be more offensive.

Extemporanus June 24, 2009 at 11:22 am

The answer is SO obvious.

SO OBVIOUS!

He went to ARGENTINA to write his own personal “MOTORCYCLE DIARIES” and plan the coming REVOLUTION, just like ERNESTO “CHE” GUEVARA!

MARK SANFORD IS A SOCIALIST COMMUNIST!!1!

Vanity Smurf June 24, 2009 at 11:22 am

In way you do have to give him a little credit. Most gay Republican office holders are not smart enough to do their butt fucking 5000 miles away from home. This one’s much more careful about sneaking around… no airport toilet sex for him.

germansteel June 24, 2009 at 11:28 am

[re=346195]germansteel[/re]: Rio – BA, I’ve never been to either. (But, I think they said it was Rio on MJ this morning)

Vanity Smurf June 24, 2009 at 11:28 am

[re=346270]GinnyRED57[/re]: Si, es un maricon.

Formerly Preferred June 24, 2009 at 11:28 am

Does anyone know where Kate Gosselin was this weekend? Because I am betting the answer is Buenos Aires.

mikeyboypdx June 24, 2009 at 11:29 am

He’s at the Loca, Locacabana.

CthuNHu June 24, 2009 at 11:29 am

WTF with html comment autoblocking? I’m trying to post some important journalistical research here on how Gov. Sanford is totally innocent of any wrongdoing and just wanted to catch the Argentinian premiere of I Know What You Did Last Weekend.

Fine. I’ll just post the links like this:

http://www.zimbio.com/Buenos+Aires+Argentina/articles/117/Feature+Kim+Y+Novak+Coke+Hot+Gay+Boys+Yes

http://www.gaybuenosaires4u.com/cruising.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2005/dec/15/argentina.buenosaires.darktourism

mikeyboypdx June 24, 2009 at 11:32 am

[re=346121]freeatlast[/re]: That would imply he’s not just another fake-and-bake closeted Republican (Ensign? Boehner? Crist?).

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 11:32 am

Say, speaking of our “Family Values” friends…

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2009/06/family-values-champion-brian-blair.html

CivicHoliday June 24, 2009 at 11:34 am

Did you know that 20 Argentine Pesos can buy you three horny sheep farmers and 20 minutes in a giant bathtub filled with mollejas? Mark Sanford does. Now.

Country Club Jihadi June 24, 2009 at 11:34 am

Sometimes a man just craves roasted guinea pig with his tossed salad.

octupletsmom June 24, 2009 at 11:34 am

I don’t think it’s another Endless Cummer for the GOP. I think it’s Looney Joon…

Grendel'sMom June 24, 2009 at 11:35 am

If you think his wife didn’t know where he was, you are living in a dream world. She knew where he was, and she knows he’s a bastard for whatever he did that was bad enough that she’d have to explain to the kids why he wasn’t home on Father’s Day. Someone needs to take Mrs. Governor out for a few martinis.

President Beeblebrox June 24, 2009 at 11:35 am

Heh, my first thought when I saw the headline was that it had to involve ladyboys, hookers, and blow – or at least two of the three.

The hilarious thing about this story is that Sanford is even getting slammed by Republicans now, and yet his response is basically “Y SO SRS? I just went incognito to take a drive along a 2-mile long coastal highway!”

Oh, and one of the commenters on that story from The State alleges that he was into “petofilia.” I hear they’re into horses down there.

Gopherit June 24, 2009 at 11:36 am

With all the vaqueros down there, I am now placing my vote on Brokeback Mountain II: Latin Heat.

President Beeblebrox June 24, 2009 at 11:37 am

[re=346292]Autochthon[/re]: Someone needs to tell the Iron Sheik about what Brian Blair did. Sheik would give him buttsecks to make him humble, as Sheik likes to tell everyone now when he’s on his cocaine binges – but only after putting him in a Camel Clutch.

superfecta June 24, 2009 at 11:37 am

I would like to state, for the record, that I am thrilled this idiot has inspired so many musical theatre references.

hockeymom June 24, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=346142]Dave J.[/re]: He has a FABULOUS 30 minute empanadas recipe.

S.Luggo June 24, 2009 at 11:39 am

[re=346292]Autochthon[/re]: That would not have happended had Killer Bee gone to Argentina. Ya see, Sandford not that stupid.

CthuNHu June 24, 2009 at 11:40 am

You people should be ashamed of yourselves. Gov. Sanford is totally innocent of any wrongdoing and just wanted to cruise his favorite highway. Is that so wrong?

http://www.gaybuenosaires4u.com/cruising.html

dogfather June 24, 2009 at 11:41 am

Is it just my impression, or is that crook-ed nose growing longer?

norbizness June 24, 2009 at 11:41 am

Grendel: Here she is in her resplendent Geraldine Chaplin-meets-Marilyn Quayle-with-fashion tips from Michelle Bachmann glory.

nappyduggs June 24, 2009 at 11:42 am

[re=346125]monkeyrotica[/re]: Today we are all in a Thai brothel closet.

ph7 June 24, 2009 at 11:43 am

[re=346306]superfecta[/re]: I’m equaly thrilled by your English Settlement avatar. I think Sanford’s senses were working overtime in B.A.

CthuNHu June 24, 2009 at 11:44 am
CivicHoliday June 24, 2009 at 11:44 am

[re=346315]CthuNHu[/re]: and by “cruise his favorite highway”, you mean lick the taint of a 14 year old tranny named Alejandro?

President Beeblebrox June 24, 2009 at 11:45 am

Ooh, ooh, Sanford is having a press conference at 2pm. It can pleez be liveblogging tiem nao, Wonkettes?

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/6/24/746212/-Sanford-was-AWOL-in-Argentina

Lilybart June 24, 2009 at 11:45 am

Idiot. All he had to do was turn the gov over to the Lt. Governor and go on a trip. NO ONE would care. But you can’t just go missing when you are in the public eye and you want to be President.

Just take care of the state, then go on a walkabout.

stew June 24, 2009 at 11:50 am

Latest twist: the US Embassy had no idea he was in Argentina. Also, it’s winter in Argentina. Did he go to one of those places with the ping pong balls?

crapistani June 24, 2009 at 11:53 am

[re=346259]writer_mike[/re]: You must be new here.

McDuff June 24, 2009 at 11:53 am

Smart S.C. Democrat introducing bill to require Governor to inform Lt. Governor of where abouts if leaving the State in 3…2…1.

Oh, ok, so maybe “smart and “Democrat” don’t work in the same sentence.

19kevin8 June 24, 2009 at 11:56 am

Sanford/Evita 2012

Words June 24, 2009 at 11:57 am

I’m w/Grendel’s Mom.. I think we should chip in to give Mrs. Sanford a bender…. and any woman who’s got 4 stair-step-age boys and is alone w/them on Father’s Day weekend has my sympathy.

imissopus June 24, 2009 at 11:57 am

The State Media Company WINS THE MORNING!

19kevin8 June 24, 2009 at 11:58 am

[re=346259]writer_mike[/re]: The part they left out of “federally funded nature queers” is the fact that they’re crippled, underaged, and mongoloid.

dogfather June 24, 2009 at 11:59 am

“Governor — there’s an email from Sen. Ensign: he says ‘Thanks.’”

Autochthon June 24, 2009 at 12:03 pm

[re=346339]imissopus[/re]: All Hail Glorious Triumph of State Media Company! (ok, so my Russian accent sucks)

President Beeblebrox June 24, 2009 at 12:07 pm

[re=346349]Autochthon[/re]: In America, you find media. In Soviet Russia, State Media Company FIND YOU.

Wet Work June 24, 2009 at 12:08 pm

This is what meth will do to your impulse control.

AKAM80TheWolf June 24, 2009 at 12:11 pm

[re=346339]imissopus[/re]:

I just won the morning with the help of some Metamucil.

A Better American Than YOU June 24, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Too quickly we forget to wonder why Ensign’s lady friend’s son was collecting the big bucks as a consultant.

I think the Buenos Aires story is a cover: either Sanford needed to “cover” his celebration of Nude Hiking Day or there was something REALLY sinister going on.

Also, I saw the photo of The Sanford Wife and the little Sanford Sons. Look like home-schooling homers to moi.

Unlearned Hand June 24, 2009 at 12:17 pm

There’s got to be some way of corroborating this nonsense. Did DHS stamp his passport when he got back to Atlanta? Did anyone in Argentina see him? The Argentine government said they won’t confirmed he passed border control because of privacy laws, but there must be something. Don’t hotels usually register foreign guests with the police? Did he use his credit card? Or a state credit card? Withdraw money from an ATM?

He had to do one of these things on a mid-winter buttfucking safari, right?

June Cleaver 2.0 June 24, 2009 at 12:20 pm

The Republican Party is turning into a situation comedy or a soap opera. If my grandmother were still alive, she’d turn on my computer every morning for the latest installment of one of her “stories,” — “The Days of the Repubs Lives, Such as They Are.”

Nerdalicious June 24, 2009 at 12:20 pm

There is definately something “awry” (word Prez didn’t use at the presser). I hear tell he is so cheap he made his family live in the pool house in the governors mansion. He probably is obsessive compulsive & his big personality disorder is now on display for everyone to see. Argentina is just the beginning. Stay tuned for other disclosed stops in his weekend whirlwind world tour.

Lascauxcaveman June 24, 2009 at 12:21 pm

[re=346318]norbizness[/re]: Wow! She’s kinda hot, in a dessicated-skin-stretched-tight-over-hollowed-out-skull kinda way.

S.Luggo June 24, 2009 at 12:21 pm

[re=346359]Unlearned Hand[/re]: He used his World Federation of Planets passport.

jennx June 24, 2009 at 12:23 pm

[re=346121]freeatlast[/re]: This is the best theory so far. Though I want him to be another hypocritical repug gay, the Father’s Day doesn’t make sense unless there are other kids to attend to.

zenferret June 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm

[re=346259]writer_mike[/re]: You got any suggestions? More offensive is more better and all.

[re=346315]CthuNHu[/re]: Chocolate?

Hooray For Anything June 24, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Where can I get one of those jobs where I can just up and leave without telling anybody and go to Argentina for a long weekend?

populucious June 24, 2009 at 12:35 pm

In all fairness, who hasn’t occasionally confused the Appalachian Trail with Buenos Ares?

TowerOfBabble June 24, 2009 at 12:44 pm

The prostitute who slept with Ted Haggard is claiming Sanford was with him the whole time:
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/6/24/746132/-Haggard-ex-prostitute

And yes, that’s a male prostitute.

the cold war makes me hot June 24, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Who knew the governor of such an ass-backward state could afford to fly overseas, much less have the reading and comprehension skills to fill out the passport applications. He must have funded it with some of that librul socialist blood money he so desperately did not want.

the cold war makes me hot June 24, 2009 at 12:48 pm

[re=346405]Hooray For Anything[/re]: A week ago, my underling took advantage of my absence to take a day off and didn’t tell anyone. I beat him mercilessly when I found out. Hope that’s what Mrs. Governor No Thanks does to Marky Mark.

TowerOfBabble June 24, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Oh shit, the Kos story is a satire. However, I’d like to think the fact that I believed it for a minute there says more about the GOP than it does about me.

Accordion-o-rama June 24, 2009 at 12:51 pm

I suspect his constituents will not take kindly to him having a passport, traveling to a “furrigner” country like Argentina, or even knowing that such a country might exist.

Anonymous Office Zombie June 24, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Senor Sanford esta muy loco.

momus June 24, 2009 at 12:57 pm

How many pages got off the plane with him? What’s the age of consent in Argentina? These are important questions that need answers.

CivicHoliday June 24, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=346426]TowerOfBabble[/re]: “Governor Sanford would never engage in the incredibly immoral acts Mr. Jacobs has alleged took place,” the spokeswoman said. “Governor Sanford believes homosexual acts are a sin and violate the Bible and the sacred institution of traditional marriage, which is why he fully supports South Carolina’s Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as being between only a man and a woman.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh…sniff…*wipes tear*…this is gonna be soooooo good

torera June 24, 2009 at 1:05 pm

“The coast of Buenos Aires” ?? Give me a break. The repubics really do count on the staggering level of ignorance attained by America’s general pubic. He’d be better off admitting to nude domestic hiking.

Zorg June 24, 2009 at 1:06 pm

There is a clue about the Sanford disappearance in this cryptic limerick we just intercepted up here at Fort Meade. All Wonkette operatives are requested to aid in the decryption process:

There once was a gaucho named Bruno
Who said, “Now screwing is one thing I do know.
A woman is fine
And a sheep is divine,
But the llama is Numero Uno.”

CivicHoliday June 24, 2009 at 1:07 pm

(I don’t care if it is satire, the irony will be just as sweet)

nappyduggs June 24, 2009 at 1:10 pm

[re=346426]TowerOfBabble[/re]: “which is why he fully supports South Carolina’s Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as being between only a man and a woman.”

Marriage is one thing- unloading in random poopers evidently needs no defense. Just fictionz.

“And we’ll be praying for his soul at this clearly troubling time in his life.”
McGreevey style comeuppance in 3….2….1….

Words June 24, 2009 at 1:13 pm

[re=346318]norbizness[/re]:
[re=346369]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:
At least she’s not a trophy wife…. that’s refreshing w/regard to politicians nowadays…

dogfather June 24, 2009 at 1:51 pm

[re=346503]Zorg[/re]: “The Llama has landed. Repeat: The Llama has landed.”

sezme June 24, 2009 at 1:55 pm

Y la reputísima que te reparió mil veces!

Combover June 24, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Today we are all South Carolinians.

Ewwwwwwwwww!!

Einstein' June 24, 2009 at 3:26 pm

The State Media Company? Isn’t that Pravda?

geek June 28, 2009 at 5:27 pm

He went from a tree hugging hike to a bush humping romp.

What through off his staff was his statement that he was taking repellent and a rubber slicker, they only assumed he was going hiking.

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