Wonkette
WRITE YOUR OWN POLITICAL ANGLE: “RICHFIELD (WKOW) — Police say a South Milwaukee man drank at least 10 beers at a golf course on state Highway 167, and after being left behind by the relatives who brought him there, he decided to drive himself the nearly 40 miles back to his home…in a golf cart. He did not even take the time to throw the empty beer cans out of the cart before hitting the road in the commandeered cart … The man told Deputy Andrew Meier that he was driving back to South Milwaukee after a group of ‘uncles’ abandoned him at Kettle Hills Golf Course on Highway 167.” [WKOW]
It’s been a rough week for Phil Mickelson.
So THAT’S where Mark Sanford’s been!
group of ‘uncles’=Republican Senators
Kettle Hills Golf Course=airport men’s room
Somebody give that man a beer on me.
The WKOW reporter is angling for a job at The Onion. Best journalistic touch: single-word quote of “uncles.”
Victim of both the nanny state and a gangbang.
10 beers?
PUSSY
Hay Ociffer! Whut seems ta be da prawblem? ***BUUUURRRRRRP***
“Group of uncles”. Senseless and priceless all at once. Hahahaha.
This is almost as cool as the time that kid in a wheelchair who got pushed for 4 miles at 50 MPH by a semi.
What a planet…
the uncles’ monkey
THIS IS A TRUE TALE:
I grew up in Milwaukee and was on the junior high golf team until I got kicked off for pinning a competing player to the 18th hole green at Kettle Hills with my spiked-shoed foot and then “putting” the unholy living shit out of his undescended nuts.*
IT WAS A POLITICAL HIT JOB!
*In my defense: He had been making gay jokes since hole #2 that were neither accurate nor amusing, and his failed attempt at a giving me a running teabag in the middle of my final putt finally caused me to snap. I was banned from the school bus ride home, and none of my ‘uncles’ were kind enough to provide me with beer and a golf cart as an alternative means home, so I had to call my mom and wait 4 hours for her to come get me. FORE!
19kevin8: …and in case anyone forgot/missed it:
http://www.dailycognition.com/index.php/2007/06/09/wheelchair-man-gets-pushed-by-truck-4-miles-without-driver-realizing.html
Two additional points:
- In the Milwaukee area, the type of behavior described in the WKOW story is also known as “Sunday afternoon.”
- The last name of the young golf opponent I violently bogeyed was “Putz”. PUTZ! I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING!!1!
Of course, he didn’t throw out the cans. His “uncles” taught him to recycle.
Dude…this ain’t news. It’s Wisconsin. But I’m sure State Rep Stephen Nass (R-East Bumblefuck) is outraged.
19kevin8: FINALLY! Change I CAN believe in.
Let’s just run over the GOP until they die and can’t vote!
The only way that would have been cooler, is if the Trig thought he was gonna die and masturbated his way thru town.
America Fuck Yeah, Also.
But hot-damn, he sure can pop a wheelie.
DagNabbit: HA! Just look at the picture again, and tell me what his shirt says… He “spilled his pop”? Yeah, sure, and then he stuck a fudgesicle down the back of his pants.
hahahahahhahhahahhahah. GWB’s base.
19kevin8: AHHA And look! No shoes! HAHAH Who has no shoes? The skinny black children in the pic on my neighbor’s fridge and THIS GUY!
If there is any canidate for National Health Care, it sure isn’t this shoelesss, crippled, scared shitless, retarded GOP voter, right?
America, Fuck Yeah, quite literally running over our own people, America Fuck Yeah…
Extemporanus: Yeah, as a Milwaukee–I’m sorry, “Muhwaakee”–native I agree that this isn’t really all that unusual.
My boss does this except he gets out of his cart and drives his Porsche on the course…arrogant mutha fucka!
Milwaukee has advanced to this from eating people.
Taste great- Less filling!
And Tiger Woods said nothing…
Is Bill Murray from Milwaukee?
What would Matthew Broderick’s dance double say? Probably something about how golf carts are too dangerous for his kids drive shit-faced cause they could get wiped out by a 4X4.
Tiger Woods: “Where in the f*ckin’ hell is my goddam motha f*ckin’ golf cart”?
Cop; “Sorry Mr. Wood, we found it parked outside Liberace’s Museum in Las Vegas”.
Dude totally would have made it home if he hadn’t run the stop sign in front of a cop.
There was a charming movie a few years back based on an elderly farmer who drove his riding mower from Iowa to Wisconsin to visit his dying brother. Golf cart guy? No such luck.
Proud to call him a neighbor.
If he was a REAL man,instead of some fucking Democrat or something, he woulda hijacked a Stroh’s truck and rode in the back.
Extemporanus: Let me guess…University School, Whitefish Bay.
hockeymom: Though many of my extracurricular activities did indeed involve nightly sojourns to rarified enclaves such as “Whitefolks’ Bay,” “Bagelside,” “Loxpoint,” and “Snorewood,” I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks in blue collar Brown Deer, within spitting distance of maximum security-prison-cum-retail-wasteland Northridge Mall.
Eh there was a Phish concert in Wisconsin this weekend where people got drunk and other things and then went and pooped in people’s play houses &c.
http://milwaukee.decider.com/articles/the-dark-side-of-the-phish-reunion-hitandrun-defec,29489/
It is good to see Ted Kennedy feeling so much better.
But can he sing?
http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/Issue/story?oid=oid%3A74336
If I lived in the Milwaukee area, I’d drink heavily, too.
Wow — Southwest Airlines just started flying to Milwaukee, and I had no idea why they’d go to all that trouble ’til I read this.