Wonkette
Nevada’s flagrant heterosexual senator, John Ensign, told his Republican pals today at lunch that he was very sorry he had sex with some lady he should not have had sex with. He was “very contrite, very sincere,” said one of his colleagues, and as penance Ensign immediately retired to the nearest public bathroom for gay diaper sex with a 17-year-old page in a panda suit. [The Hill]
I’m sure he did a very good job with his apology as he’s had a lot of experience hearing these kind of apologies from his fellow Republicans. I think it’s a monthly tradition these days.
An acceptable act of contrition would be for the Senator to shave his head, and keep it shaved.
Was it an “I’m sorry I got caught” apology, an “I’m sorry that you’re all up in my business” apology or an “I’m sorry and go f*ck yourselves” apology? These nuances are important.
Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.) gave his GOP colleagues a two-minute apology at Tuesday’s caucus lunch for “embarrassing the Senate.” That’s an apology the same way “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings” is an apology. Choke on a bag of Senator Vitter’s diapers and die Rear Admiral Ensign.
There’s a Teen Wolf joke in this post somewhere…
“He’s so well-thought-of in the caucus.”
Well played Orrin Hatch.
Now that’s a boring lunch. Even Dan Quayle finds this affair very milquetoasty.
Ensign immediately retired to the nearest public bathroom
An Ensign behind the commodore.
He didn’t sincerely and contritely resign as he urged Larry Craig to do for embarrassing the Senate? (Because he’s photogenic and Craig is not? Because he’s one of those waspy old dicks who’s always been told the rules don’t apply to him?) At least when Larry Flynt called out the hypocritical would-be Clinton impeachers they did have the grace to resign. How our national standards have fallen after 8 years of pubic rule.
Really an affair with a woman. This may foreshadow a party switch. Oh and, that graphic is disturbing.
Not only did he have an affair with a woman, but she was of legal age. Ensign is quite mavericky for the GOP.
yep, that’s still the gayest drawing ever
Where is this “What Closet Furry Am I” test? Can I find it on Facespacebook?
I thought the Free Market would take the view that it’s nobody else’s fucking business. What gives?
Accordion-o-rama: Working on his privates.
I guess it wasn’t love, then, because love means never having to say you’re sorry.
jetjaguar: Ab.So.Lutely.
“You are most compatible with herbivore, big cat, fox, and other wolf furries.”
I’m not well acquainted with these, er, creatures, but that doesn’t leave too many furries out, does it?
“Reid told reporters he was standing by Ensign, reminding them that he knew Ensign’s father, Michael, for many years.” That must mean that Michael Ensign was a hypocritical skirt sniffer as well.
You go get ‘em, Harry, you damned tiger, you.
Sex with a woman, of course he had to apologize, what with this Libertarian making news for engaging in behaviors reserved for Republicans: http://www.azstarnet.com/metro/298135 Maybe he is afraid of being replaced
S.Luggo: Please don’t mention tigers. It’s like saying Beetlejuice around here. Especially not on a furry post.
azw88: Is it any wonder that certain people find the “message of less government intervention” so appealing?
Mr Blifil: All together now:
Ensign behind the commodore using his privates to rear admirals.
In the name of whatever deity you choose, can we please stop using that picture? Maybe find one with badgers instead?
It’s just … creepiest picture ever …
octupletsmom:
Skunk furries, porcupine furries, and rot grub furries are very offended by that graphic.
Am I banned yet?
If not, one more look at that picture may do it.
Let it be remembered that Ensign committed the one unforgivable sin in the Republican Caucus: He slept with a legal, willing female. Just like Bill Clinton.
Neilist: Really, Neilist, like I can tell what those ten pixels make up.
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