Wonkette
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Here we have excerpted the traditional “red meat” portion of a Barack Obama press conference, in which we hear from all three network news correspondents, consecutively. Why does Obama cave to John McCain and Lindsey Graham and hate Iranian people and lie about other things such as health and money care? Health care and money? Health care and money care and Iran and John McCain and queers?
CBS’ Chip Reid asks if John McCain and Lindsey Graham’s public statements about Iran were the reason Obama took a More Serious Tone today. (Did he really??) Literally. You think we are trying to make a funny but that was Chip Reid’s actual “White House Press Conference” question today. Obama tells Chip Reid to die.
NBC News’ Chuck Todd DEMANDS to know the SPECIFIC SANCTION AND BOMB strategies Obama will take against the Iranian government if it continues escalating violence against its own people. Obama says no, that would be the worst and dumbest thing ever for me to do, Chuck Todd. Chuck Todd says BUT MAYBE YOU DIDN’T HEAR MY QUESTION, when are we bombing Iran and with how many bombs? Obama walks over to Chuck Todd and poops on him.
ABC News’ Jake Tapper, before asking his question, asks several questions. Obama makes fun of him, and Tapper looks furious. He has been foiled again. Obama calls him a racist. Then Tapper asks a decent enough question about the healths, so whatever.
Consider this your retroactive liveblog, of the “exciting” parts!
Barry looks like he’s trying to Jedi mind-fuck the Fauxer.
I’d like to think that after the presser was over, Barry had his security detail corner Chuck Todd and hold him down until he had five free minutes to drag him to a nearby toilet and give him a Presidential swirly.
Thanks Jim - now after every weekly meeting when the “lowlies” ask how it went with the big boss I will just say: “Ehhh, Gary asked about an extension for turning in the fall budget and Steve just kinda walked around the podium and pooped on him. By the way, most of you will probably be fired on Thursday.”
Sweet.
I must give Barry props for being so patient with a roomful of morons. It’s really tough, I can tell.
I prefer your recap to the actual event.
I always wondered why my degree in journalism was met with job offers of 15k/year from prospective employers. Just a gaggle of high-functioning retards, these people.
Mr. President if John McCain asked you to tickle his nuts, would you?
I’d like to see Barry go totally 3 Stooges on their ass. Break out in a Curly “Woo, woo, woo” and poke Chuck Todd in the eyes.
Mr Blifil: And when did he stop beating Michelle?
You can almost see the tears of lonliness coming from Jake Tripper.
magic titty: One of the reporters referred to “Spock-like” comments from Barry. I could tell Barry was just embarrassed for the man, and his equally dimwitted colleagues.
How is Chuck Todd able to emerge from his car continually and suffer no consequences?
Obama tells Chip Reid to die.
I really feel like this might be Obama’s best response for most questions lobbed by reporters. Although it’s really his fault for holding press conferences. His predecessor simply stopped talking to the press altogether, remember? Ah, those were the days.
Bet the press pull any of this monkey business with Ahmedinajad. Hopey needs his own mulatto Basij. Go Basiji!
Nobody will understand the true magnitude of that press conference until every woman within 100 yards find out she’s pregnant with the Muslin AntiChrist. They’ll all have big ears like Barry Hu-Sate-In Obama, but they’ll have a hive mind and cold little hands. The sleeper has awakened…
Actually they all got impregnated at the last WH cocktail party when they took the “party favors” the S.S. was handing out- 100% pure ‘Merican roofies.
BillyClubb: No, it’s true. Obama is a Vulcan who hasn’t really been born yet. That’s why there’s no birth certificate.
Really.
Yeah laugh riot. He is so all over their nonsense. His plate is incredibly full & they are all over him about cigarettes. Chuck Todd’s the actual nerd, maybe Hodgemen should roast him.
Joshua Norton: Damn Ramulens, fucking up the timeline. Good riddance to their planet. Bomb them like Iran!
I thought Barry did a very nice job of reminding everybody that he beat John McCain like he was an old bitch.
Giving Iranian leadership fodder? Douchebag says “what”?
Reid, what a blow-dried Ted Baxterite…
Chunks Todd goes all Karnak the flippin’ Great (with all respect to the ultimate 2nd banana and spokesperson for Pride Mobility, Ed McMahon, resquiat in pace).
The the better part of the WH press corps needs to be dropped off in Tehran’s Martyr’s Square, with Basij forming up a mass flying column…
The exchange with Gigglesnort Hotel correspondent Major “Asshole” Garrett was even worse: “Regarding Iran…what took you so long?” post
Chris Matthews said this afterwards: “Garrett’s—dare I say snarky—questions today will go down in the annals of press conference douchebaggery.”
The White House press corp continues to get owned by His Hopeyness.
“Did you just call me ‘Spock’? The President of United Mo-fo States of Muslimerica? Dude, you’re sorry. And you will be, for weeks. Now here are my talking points. Go away.”
And did Chip Reid actually complain “There’s no news in your statement today”? Hey, fuckwad (and anybody who’s a professional and goes by “Chip” is automatically a fuckwad), 1) there is actually news in his statement and 2) if there’s no news you’re supposed to go FIND it - it’s called ‘reporting’, and 3) no news means you can just make it up, like the rest of the pinheads.
Could we write to our congresscritters to demand that Barry puts out a cigarette on Lindsey Graham’s ass? Put in on Pay-per-view and we can partially solve the economic crisis.
The press corps really is an embarassment to itself. Although, I would kind of like to ask Barry who he found smokin’ hotter, Scarlett Johansson or Lara Logan.
The major network and cable news questions have consistently been the stupidest questions imaginable. A random HS graduate taken off the street would ask better questions 67.82564971 percent of the time (Spock “nerd” homage, check).
Does this concern the sheeples of these great United States, that they get most of their news and analysis from idiots?
Some Iranian via the internet, probably very busy avoiding arrest, or gas attacks or beatings or whatever in the course of voicing rightful dissent, or maybe going to the store to get some damn food, or something (who had, like, very serious pressing survival type sh*t on his/her mind) asked a better, more straightforward and honest substantive question.
I suggest the major national affairs press be identified with clown noses and fright wigs, instead of ID badges, that look official and dignified, and give them a false impression of credibility. Just to make things clear.
WadISay: You got it right, brother. Those questions were just so so pitiful. I’m also reminded of idiot Chuck Todd stating that “excessive consumerism got us into the financial crisis” and Hopey shot him down damn quick on that idiotic idea. I think these guys are too busy blow-drying their hair instead of doing the research they should be doing before they show up at these press conferences.
Also, some one should explain to these networks idiots that
1) not many people care about stupid political point-scoring among exhausted old political creeps in Washington, even if this crisis were about whether Obama is setting a bad example in banning beets from the WH garden (IMHO, it is. Obama needs to be educated that beets can be good and good for you too)
2) The Iranians have millions of citizens protesting in the streets, and a split government (with army, militia, guns and gas) whose decisions will determine whether the world is cast into ’stupid-ass war mode’ within a few months. They are halfway around the world. The only thing they all agree on is that the U.S. should STF on taking sides in their disputes.
And the idiot national affairs press is “concerned” that Obama is not “making news”. Geez. Idiots.
BillyClubb: That was Trapper. What a douche.
“Tell you what, guys. From now on, every time you ask a fucktarded question, I will swap you with a Gitmo prisoner - they get your job, you get the waterboard. So I recommend you shape up and get over yourselves, or your viewers will have to get used to hearing Presidential Press Conference questions asked with an Iraqi accent”
Remember last year, when Chuck Todd wasn’t widely assumed to be retarded? When he looked kind of like a Nate Silver Lite Edition in his little vote-countin’ booth during the primaries? Then they let him into the presidential press conferences and … what happend?
“only i’m the POTUS” = SWOON,faint.
Mr Blifil: POTUS: “What do you think?”
Joshua Norton: Meh. Al Gore’s a robot from the future and he seemed to do a pretty good job.
ProfessorJukes: VULCAN, motherfucker! Do you speak it???
Barry looked like he was about to pull off a Jules when he got that cigarette question from McClatchy.
Chuck Todd is like Al Borland, only less handsome, and less entertaining, with way too much ginge, and I’m guessing less knowledge of tools (minus those he works with on the daily, ha ha). Fucking gross. I hope everyone has stopped with “I’d hit it” because that is FUCKING GROSS.
Chip, Chuck and Tapper? Sounds like the cast of a bad ’70s frathouse flick. Or a triathlon involving golf, football, and buttsecks.
Helen is not amused.
Out of the triumvirate of turds, Tapper is by far the lowliest stain. His shiteating smirk and Pajamas Media-approved filibuster-length questions have got to go. Helen Thomas had six strokes during his endless yammering. I want Hopey to grab that smarmy queer by the ears and toss him into the back row with the rest of the ham radio hacks.
“But only I’m President of the United States.”
Say it again, Barry. It makes me tingle all over.
OMG. I wanted to come through this clip to kick Chip Reid’s ass . . . these people don’t give a rat’s ass about the Iranian people. All they want is more soundbites to feed into this anti-Obama narrative with regards to the Iran crises. Moses smell the roses I can’t believe these people are journalist.
It’s distracting to watch big O make eye contact with Suzanne Malveaux. Geez, they should get a room or turn it into pay-for-view so I’d feel more at home.
Oldskool: Rahm would have strong words to say about that.
http://i40.tinypic.com/2s66eq0.jpg
Next time Bernard Goldberg or some similar fucktard complains about the media’s supposed worship of Obama, he or she should be instantly seized, strapped into a chair ala “A Clockwork Orange” and forced to watch Obama embarrass the useless bastards.
Like watching a cat play with a mouse before eating it.
I feel like he should be headlining at the Borgata.