More Of Obama Wanting To Burn Reporters With His Lit Cigarette

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Here we have excerpted the traditional "red meat" portion of a Barack Obama press conference, in which we hear from all three network news correspondents, consecutively. Why does Obama cave to John McCain and Lindsey Graham and hate Iranian people and lie about other things such as health and money care? Health care and money? Health care and money care and Iran and John McCain and queers?

CBS' Chip Reid asks if John McCain and Lindsey Graham's public statements about Iran were the reason Obama took a More Serious Tone today. (Did he really??) Literally. You think we are trying to make a funny but that was Chip Reid's actual "White House Press Conference" question today. Obama tells Chip Reid to die.

NBC News' Chuck Todd DEMANDS to know the SPECIFIC SANCTION AND BOMB strategies Obama will take against the Iranian government if it continues escalating violence against its own people. Obama says no, that would be the worst and dumbest thing ever for me to do, Chuck Todd. Chuck Todd says BUT MAYBE YOU DIDN'T HEAR MY QUESTION, when are we bombing Iran and with how many bombs? Obama walks over to Chuck Todd and poops on him.

ABC News' Jake Tapper, before asking his question, asks several questions. Obama makes fun of him, and Tapper looks furious. He has been foiled again. Obama calls him a racist. Then Tapper asks a decent enough question about the healths, so whatever.

Consider this your retroactive liveblog, of the "exciting" parts!