Wonkette
Good news for America’s uninsured, fat Poors: RNC Chairman Michael Steele knows how to make your healths better. It’s easy! Just fix it, okay baby?
STEELE: So if it’s a cost problem, it’s easy: Get the people in a room who have the most and the most direct impact on cost, and do the deal. Do the deal. It’s not that complicated.
If it’s an access question, people don’t have access to health care, then figure out who they are, and give them access! Hello?! Am I missing something here? If my friend Trevor has access to health care, and I don’t, why do I need to overhaul the entire system so I can get access he already has? why don’t you just focus on me and get me access?
Trevor! Trevor is the answer. If Trevor is making nukes in the Middle East, why can’t we just stop Trevor from making his nukes? If Trevor is married to a lady, why can’t we get the gays to marry ladies, like Trevor did?
Michael Steele is Definitely Missing Something [Matt Yglesias]
Michael Steele secretly confers with Clarence Thomas on legal decisions. They both recognize the importance of oversimplification.
the fix is in, baby. it’s so simple, even the simple-minded could fix it. all it takes is a deal. you know how to deal? steele can deal. let’s make a deal. hey, steeley-baby, come on down, have i got a deal for you. just fix it baby. you want the access trevor has? you got it, baby. just tell ‘em slappypaddy sent you, and they’ll fix you right up. we can get you a little buttseks on the side, too, with an intern. we hear you repubs like that. we got you fixed, baby. do the deal. specifics? you want specifics? steeley-baby, just fix it.
The party of ideas: so full of win lately.
Michael, Trevor is a BRITISH fucker. What the fuck?
Yeah, you’re missing something: people don’t have access because of the cost. The two issues are related, you buffoon. But I’m sure if we just sit the insurance companies down and talk to them really nicely they will be happy to reverse years of business practices on their own and offer affordable coverage to everyone regardless of age or risk or having a pre-existing condition.
Oh, and a couple of months ago when congressional Republicans were in a meeting with the president complaining about how they didn’t like his plan, he said tell you what, I’m willing right now to agree to put in caps on malpractice awards if you guys will agree to give me something I want that you don’t like. And they could not think of a single thing. Why? Because they have no ideas, they just want to piss all over healthcare reform. Obama wants it? We must oppose it then!
No snark for me, I’m too pissed off that this guy is allowed out in public without wearing a helmet and being escorted by a trained social worker.
Steele is obviously just Trevor Project-ing.
Get the people that have the most good health, and let them spread their good-health germs to you!
Just watch out for those massive government intrusions. They hurt. Even with lots of lube.
The GOP approach to policy: If it can’t be written on the back of a wallet-sized photo of Ronald Reagan, the Republicans want nothing to do with it.
But to give credit where credit is due — this is slightly more realistic than John McCain’s healthcare plan, wherein we all marry rich heiresses and get elected to Congress.
The first test-run of The Steele Health Care Plan happened 2 weeks ago when Sen. Vitter gave Judge Sotomayor a diaper full of ice for her broken ankle - GOP SUCCESS!!!11!
Christ, what a fuckwit.
The first test-run of The Steele Health Care Plan happened 2 weeks ago when Sen. Vitter gave Judge Sotomayor a diaper full of ice for her broken ankle - GOP SUCCESS!!!11!
I’m surprised he mentioned his friend, Trevor, instead of his cousin, Ray Ray.
imissopus: Please, don’t come here without snark.
Fatty Limburger must be grinding out teh moranic talking points on overtime these days. I just read a giant word salad converative email also claiming there is “no problem” w/health care access. Without boring everyone w/ the entire stupidity, the email ended with this brilliant suggestion:
“What about those who cannot afford health insurance? What about those with pre-existing illnesses whose insurance applications carriers turned down? What’s wrong with charity — people helping people? America remains the most generous nation on the face of the earth. We donate more of our time and money than [other] countries. Let other Americans help those in need.”
I don’t know how to even begin to snark this tripe. I guess if one goes along w/that last paragraph, the follow up line would be: so leftards get ready to put yer hand in yer pockets to personally pay for Trevor’s health care needs bc you can fuckin be sure that conservatives won’t pitch in one thin dime… SUCKAHS!!!!
Do the deal…like fucking?
Chairman Michael Steele: Hey now, check this…if YouTuber can reduce the overhead on this here video of me talking about health care, why can’t we just have ‘em reduce the overhead on health care too? Slam it, ram, no diggity, and yer done!”
paintitblack: If democrats were smart they would have been working on re-branding taxes as charity long ago. But, alas.
Also, FIX IT, also.
Finally, a man who speaks the truth in direct plain spoken english.
Steele is more brilliant than we give him credit for. The tried & true republican strategy is always to obscure the issue by inserting all kinds of non-sequitur-ish arguments and “facts” until regular folks just don’t know what the fuck is real or not and instead respond emotionally, hating whoever or whatever the fearmongers tell them to. Steele is just upgrading this strategy by introducing so much unintelligible nonsense to the debate that we are awestruck at the stupid, unable to think clearly. Whether we can weather this storm of Steele-speak and remain focused on the prize — that is our challenge.
Internally valid: Yes, and no. As above, if taxes were rebranded as charity, then the GOP would say: pony up, ya bleeding heart dimocrats. Put yer money where your mouths are, and we’ll pay our country club dues, SUCKAHS!!
I presume “Trevor” was the blackest name he could think of.
Oh, Michael. If only we had the time to catalogue all the things you don’t understand.
Poor Steele. Underneath all of that nonsense is a happy man.
And much like hip-hop solutions in areas such as gang violence, teen pregnancy, and gun control policy, this one should also result in a lot of black people dying needlessly.
“am i missin’ something here??!?!?!?”
logic.
“Trevor” ?
Michael Steele = Neville Longbottom
Stelle’s plan would be much better if he set it to the tune of “Superstition” and had Steve Wonder sing it. Much sexier, and it would distract from the fact that it makes no actual sense whatsoever.
Gosh, these Repub deep thinkers are practically martyrs, willing to put themselves out there and risk ridicule to say things right off the top of their heads just to help us and brighten us and information us.
Overlooked major stumbling block: I should listen to anything a Republican has to say about health care WHY, exactly?
YOU CAN’T HAVE HEALTHCARE IF YOU DON’T HAVE HEALTHCARE…COMPANIES…!!!
I’m surprised he doesn’t recommend his favorite faith-healer, like Rod Parsley or maybe Rev. Roosevelt Franklin!
Zhu Bajie
Everything I’v ever learned about Healthcare Reform is from Trevor & M.C. Steele.
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/93546907-EVERYTHING-I-EVER-LEARNED-ABOUT-HEALTHCARE-REFORM-IS-FROM-TREVOR-M-C-STEELE
So that’s where Palin has been getting her policy advice. From Trevor!
Nerdalicious: A+ on the Blingee!!
hobospacejunkie:
Tanks :). I’ll have to make a kitty one :). How are ya?
Holy Crap! Read Slappypaddy’s post upstream. Funny as hell!
hobospacejunkie:
“The tried & true republican strategy is always to obscure the issue by inserting all kinds of non-sequitur-ish arguments and “facts” until regular folks just don’t know what the fuck is real or not”
Gestapo tactics, except with M.C. Steele it’s Clown Gestapo tactics.
hobospacejunkie:
Here’s a kitty one you might like
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/92032460-QUEEN-OF-THE-MAINE-COONES
Here’s a memorial I made for my kitty that passed, Lily.
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/91471085-LILY
People don’t have healthcare? Give em healthcare! They can’t afford it? Let em afford it! What other major issues will Michael Steele help us solve?
The war in Afghanistan? Win it!
The economy? Fix it!
The budget? Balance it!
WHY DIDN’T ANYONE THINK OF THIS BEFORE!
Michael i don’t think trevor is really your friend.
it sounds like you got played by someone, etc.
SayItWithWookies: Win of the day!
Uh, Michael..I had to break it to you but Trevor is gay and has glaucoma and needs medicinal marijuana. And his illegal immigrant sister needs an abortion. Can you help a brotha out?
I believe he stole this from Keenan Thompson’s “FIX IT” schtick on SNL.
“America remains the most generous nation on the face of the earth. We donate more of our time and money than [other] countries. Let other Americans help those in need.”
This is news to me! My experience is that my fellow Americans are the hardest-hearted, most selfish, *ssh*les in the world! If you are poor in America, you are not just a guy with less money, you are wicked, deserving your degradation (supposedly)!The Michael Steeles never hesitate to degrade you, either. That’s one reason I’ve stayed in China, teaching English, for 12 years, rather than go back to my career in minimum wage sh*t jobs, tending parking lots, etc.
Zhu Bajie
Herein Mr. Steel posits that Mr. Obama is trying to fail on purpose so that the American people will feel a greater need for the Federal Government or some such. I believe this to be a flawed premise. If failure at governing equates to success at the polls for the party doing the governing, why was not Epic Fail George “Papa Doc” Bush named “Dictator for Life”?
Nerdalicious: Thanks for the links! Late night is wife time here.
Michael Steele is Bozo the Clown.
Is that your Maine Coon? Those things grow to be HUGE.
Nice memorial to your kitteh. All’s well here, bugs chirping, cats sleeping, me writing on the porch.
As you can see, I am Michael Steele. I just finished listening to my comment…
I am retarded. Aren’t I.
Bunch of lib moonbats in here i see. Bunch of Morons.