THIS WEEK IN ELBOW NEWS  2:49 pm June 22, 2009

Clinton’s Elbow Sets Off Diplomatic Crisis

by Sara K. Smith

The elbow's connected to the foggy bottomOh noes, Secretary Clinton won’t be going on previously scheduled trips abroad this week, due to having her elbow amputated and replaced with a bionic joint that shoots laser beams and takes orders directly from the president, Dick Cheney. She needs to rest up and not shake hands with anybody, which means that attendees of international conferences in Trieste and Corfu will have to shake hands with two other jokers from the State Department instead. And THAT is how World War III will start tomorrow. [Washington Post]

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norbizness June 22, 2009 at 2:53 pm

While they’re in there, they should fiddle around with her vocal cords, so that every time she emits that laugh of hers, something like Sinistar’s voice emerges. RUN, COWARD!

Terry June 22, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Snark aside, poor Hillary. That surgery couldn’t have been fun.

Giant Robot June 22, 2009 at 2:54 pm

I don’t find this humerus at all.

SayItWithWookies June 22, 2009 at 2:55 pm

So the surgery on her ulna has constricted her radius?

proudgrampa June 22, 2009 at 2:56 pm

What’s an elbow?

Noodle Salad June 22, 2009 at 2:59 pm

May I suggest Jesse Ventura, whose renowned “Atomic Elbow” may be better suited to today’s current diplomatic environment, as a substitute?

AnnieGetYourFun June 22, 2009 at 3:00 pm

I’ve always thought that we Americans should bring back the air kiss as a form of diplomatic greeting, anyway. Hey, everyone else pretty much locks lips in greeting, why not us?

Actually, I’m just kind of a slut, so… my reasoning really has nothing to do with Hils. I just want an excuse.

freakishlystrong June 22, 2009 at 3:02 pm

If you couldn’t read and just looked at the pics today, you’d be very confused; a fuzzy puppy, terrifying puppets and skeletons, just sayin’..

One Yield Regular June 22, 2009 at 3:05 pm

With my good arm, I’d slap my doctor silly if he told me I couldn’t go to Corfu just because of a broken elbow.

Of course, Clinton probably wouldn’t have been spending her time there floating in the Mediterranean, lounging and frolicking naked on hidden beaches and eating grilled barbouni washed down with copious amounts of metaxa, so she may not feel similarly put out.

SayItWithWookies June 22, 2009 at 3:08 pm

[re=344484]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I’ll bet you’re a lot of fun on casual Fridays.

Lascauxcaveman June 22, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Oh, man. We’re talking majorly disappointed Triestians and Corfucians here.

The US has let the world down yet again.

Extemporanus June 22, 2009 at 3:09 pm

This unfortunate little incident should serve to remind everyone that when fisting, there is no such thing as “too much lube.”

wx insider June 22, 2009 at 3:13 pm
germansteel June 22, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Her elbow condition was no doubt caused by all those shot-drinking episodes with Walnuts.

dijetlo June 22, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Just wait until Hills gets her bionic elbow installed, she’ll be able to bust a pair of balls in nanoseconds. Somebody needs to get Hopey a cup.

Tybalt June 22, 2009 at 3:34 pm

The see-through drawing of Hills’ side-tit and her mannish arms is bonerrific.

Zadig June 22, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=344476]norbizness[/re]: Somehow, the notion of Hillary Clinton sneering “BEWARE, I LIVE!” at the international community seems horribly appropriate.

bitchincamaro June 22, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Bet she’ll never play the violin. Still.

dennymcden June 22, 2009 at 4:30 pm

[re=344478]Giant Robot[/re]: Amazing. Nerd-dom worthy of our Spock-like prez.

hockeymom June 22, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=344491]One Yield Regular[/re]: oh my god. you just described my junior year abroad. don’t tell my dad.

TGY June 23, 2009 at 9:42 am

Able was I, ere I bent elbow.

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