this week in elbow news

Clinton’s Elbow Sets Off Diplomatic Crisis

The elbow's connected to the foggy bottomOh noes, Secretary Clinton won’t be going on previously scheduled trips abroad this week, due to having her elbow amputated and replaced with a bionic joint that shoots laser beams and takes orders directly from the president, Dick Cheney. She needs to rest up and not shake hands with anybody, which means that attendees of international conferences in Trieste and Corfu will have to shake hands with two other jokers from the State Department instead. And THAT is how World War III will start tomorrow. [Washington Post]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  1. norbizness

    While they’re in there, they should fiddle around with her vocal cords, so that every time she emits that laugh of hers, something like Sinistar’s voice emerges. RUN, COWARD!

  2. Noodle Salad

    May I suggest Jesse Ventura, whose renowned “Atomic Elbow” may be better suited to today’s current diplomatic environment, as a substitute?

  3. AnnieGetYourFun

    I’ve always thought that we Americans should bring back the air kiss as a form of diplomatic greeting, anyway. Hey, everyone else pretty much locks lips in greeting, why not us?

    Actually, I’m just kind of a slut, so… my reasoning really has nothing to do with Hils. I just want an excuse.

  4. freakishlystrong

    If you couldn’t read and just looked at the pics today, you’d be very confused; a fuzzy puppy, terrifying puppets and skeletons, just sayin’..

  5. One Yield Regular

    With my good arm, I’d slap my doctor silly if he told me I couldn’t go to Corfu just because of a broken elbow.

    Of course, Clinton probably wouldn’t have been spending her time there floating in the Mediterranean, lounging and frolicking naked on hidden beaches and eating grilled barbouni washed down with copious amounts of metaxa, so she may not feel similarly put out.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    [re=344484]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I’ll bet you’re a lot of fun on casual Fridays.

  7. Lascauxcaveman

    Oh, man. We’re talking majorly disappointed Triestians and Corfucians here.

    The US has let the world down yet again.

  8. Extemporanus

    This unfortunate little incident should serve to remind everyone that when fisting, there is no such thing as “too much lube.”

  9. germansteel

    Her elbow condition was no doubt caused by all those shot-drinking episodes with Walnuts.

  10. dijetlo

    Just wait until Hills gets her bionic elbow installed, she’ll be able to bust a pair of balls in nanoseconds. Somebody needs to get Hopey a cup.

  11. Zadig

    [re=344476]norbizness[/re]: Somehow, the notion of Hillary Clinton sneering “BEWARE, I LIVE!” at the international community seems horribly appropriate.

  12. hockeymom

    [re=344491]One Yield Regular[/re]: oh my god. you just described my junior year abroad. don’t tell my dad.

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