Wonkette
The racist states of the South — including the “honorary southern states” of Texas, Arizona and Alaska — do not like letting black and brown people vote, so 43 years ago the Voting Rights Act was signed into federal law, and ever since those officially racist jurisdictions have to get federal approval for any changes in voting law, still, because god knows we’d be back to poll taxes and grandfather clauses in about 10 minutes without the grownups keeping an eye on the crackers. So, obviously, today the “black justice” on the Supreme Court, wingnut blogger Clarence Thomas, was the brave lone voice of dissent, standing athwart the law that gave basic human rights to his race, yelling “no that shit is unconstitutional.”
As is nearly always the case in Supreme Court cases, this one is seemingly about nothing — some little utility district in some white-bread exurb of Austin wanted to change its polling place from some McMansion’s garage to a local school. BUT, because a conservative nutbag group backed the district in its attempt to challenge the Voting Rights Act so it wouldn’t need Washington approval for this seemingly mundane change, you know the real goal was to strike down the Voting Rights Act so that we could get back to the “good old days” of black people such as Clarence Thomas being harassed and intimidated and occassionally lynched, to teach ‘em a lesson about how votin’ jes fer crackers.
So, the Supreme Court said, “Nah, not really getting into that,” save for Uncle Thomas, who said, “The violence, intimidation and subterfuge that led Congress to pass Section 5 and this court to uphold it no longer remains,” which is totally true!
For example, when that black guy was dragged behind a pickup in Texas a couple years back, to his death, that wasn’t violence! It was … state’s rights?
And when those black kids in Jena, Louisiana wanted to hang out in the Whites Only section of the school playground and were greeted with nooses hanging from the tree, that wasn’t intimidation! It was just … warblogging?
So, keep trying, Clarence. One day maybe you’ll drag us back to the good ol’ pre-Civil War days of Southern White Supremacy! You’re the best!
High court rules narrowly in voting rights case [AP]
Nigga, please.
This is a victory for fat white slobs everywhere. Truly our country is the greatest.
Hm, I thought for sure that whatshisname would be on board with Thomas… Alito or somesuch? What a pussy.
My awesome?
The thing about black Republicans is that they have to constantly be racist and horrible to prove that they really love Reagan’s ghost more than themselves.
Clarence Thomas is a living, breathing Uncle Ruckus. Period:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3ad5kR-y_g
“Hey folks — the water’s staying in the lake. Looks like we don’t need this dam anymore.”
God, the dissertations that will be written about this man - it would be sad if he weren’t such an asshole.
Clarence Thomas has had only negative-image mirrors in his house, like, forEVER.
And unicorns are cleaning our state highways, so it’s all good.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/21/us/21highway.html
Uncle Ruckus strikes again
Who the hell does Clarence see when he looks in the mirror–Strom Thurmond? But I live near Canyon Creek. Biggest group of fat, pasty, white, Ford Eddie Bauer Expedition drivers you’ll ever see. These are the type of folks baby Jesus lurves, lurves, lurves!
Good thing they’ve made a decision because Clarence has a golf date with Ward Connerly this afternoon.
Somehow the irony of this act is lost on Clarence “Uncle” Thomas. Of course, in the “good” old days, it was really really safe for a black man to bang a white lady.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Virginia_Thomas.JPG
Justice Thomas is right. Look at how much trouble we’re in now that the Coloreds can vote. We have a president who is a Zionist controlled Muslin, and doesn’t have a birth certificate. The First Lady is a whitey hating gorilla because she believes in evolution, also.
You said ‘athwart’
You are so fucking awesome!
Did that extra spicy taco make Clarence athwart?
Clarence Thomas Fun Fact: Eight years ago, his younger brother died of a heart attack.
So, even though Justice Clarence is only 61 (tomorrow, in case you forgot to buy a card) and 12 years younger than Scalia and Kennedy, he seems to be the Supreme villain most likely to be replaced during the presidential term of . . . well, the irony would be pretty sweet, yes?
I don’t get why Thomas seems to think that all civil rights-based legislation is a personal affront to his intellect and abilities. No one is saying that you couldn’t have done it without the laws in place, Clarence. Seriously, it’s entirely possible that you would have clawed your way up in spite of Jim Crow and be right where you are right now, even if blacks and whites were still segregated. You’d be the lone “reasonable Negro” on the court, though you’d have to enter through a separate door. Because these laws are ALL ABOUT YOU AND HOW SMART YOU ARE.
“The violence, intimidation and subterfuge [...] no longer remains[.]”
Isn’t that, like, wrong?
This is what the mental health experts call a cry for help.
So, the court’s one “black” guy had the balls to overturn the Voting Rights Act, but the seven whitey’s punted the big decision down the field. Did they fear Obama’s death-ray eyes if they voted to overturn, or did that secessionist talk in Texas actually make them realize that, yeah, there are a bunch of crazy racists still running loose in U.S. America?
I can read this post in the Library of Congress since it is Supreme Court related, right?
This post confuses me because part of me wants to feel the bile that always ensues whenever I read about Clarence Thomas and the other part of me is all warm and fuzzy because of the puppy. My God– what a dick. My God– is that the cutest picture in the entire world?
Anita Hill’s legacy lives on and on….
penalcolony: Based on Brother Thomas’ legendary lack of participation, I’d say the Court already has a vacancy.
Thomas, who said, “The violence, intimidation and subterfuge that led Congress to pass Section 5 and this court to uphold it no longer remains.”
Was that the Special Section allowing colored women to cast votes on whether or not that is, in fact, a pubic hair on their boss’ Coke can? Cause if so, said intimidation no longer exists at that firm; it’s busy getting daisy-chained by Scalia and Roberts in D.C.
boatapple: You dare to grammar-check a SUPREME? That Man Is A Smart!
Rev. Peter Lemonjello: damn, ya beat me
AnnieGetYourFun: Bravo Annie, bravo! What a pig fucker.
That’s pretty bad, Clarence, when Scalia comes off looking less like douchebag than you!
Ken, you’re making it hard to be bitter and crusty when you post awesome pictures of lovable winking puppies.
Just so you know.
penalcolony: oh man, a house is going to fall on you… and hopefully Thomas too! heh.
penalcolony: Here’s a fun fact: Burger King’s Triple Whopper With Cheese has 1,230 calories and 82 grams of fat including 32 grams of saturated fat. Gift certificates make great birthday presents.
“The Browns don’t vote or the Puppeh gets it”
AnnieGetYourFun: THOMAS IS GOING GALT!1!!one!
The self-loathing is palpable. Clarence, why can’t you just eat shit and die instead?
AnnieGetYourFun: Thank you. But see, the thing about Clarence Thomas is he’s a dick.
“The violence, intimidation and subterfuge that led Congress to pass Section 5 and this court to uphold it no longer remains.”
Justice Thomas then retired to his cabin for the day.
I do not understand why Clarence has more than 3/5ths of a vote on the Court. This is not what the founding fathers intended.
He’s even more conservative in the winter months, where the cold weather makes him extra-anxious to please Republicans so he can sleep in the house.
Clarence Thomas is literally the blind black guy who is a white supremacist in that Chappelle skit.
Capt. Hazel Murphy: Your awesome what?
yeah, but Sotamayor uses commas wrong! So she is not qualified!
Capt. Hazel Murphy: Maybe his awesome. Or so he thinks.
I just know that this fucker auto-asphyxiates for ALL the wrong reasons.
Please take digies of the next time you circle jag with Mikey Steele, Clare Bear- kthxbai.
Is this the first time Thomas has ever voted in opposition to Scalia?
Help me, Clarence! Please! Please!
I want to live again!
In intolerant fashion, just like gramps used to do it.
By the way, it is possible that ol’ Clarence is ahead of the curve on this one.
After all, the gubbamint did just apologize to all the colored folks, so I have to imagine the new enlightment is just over this here ridge, if in fact we aren’t within its city limits already.
Clarence, dood, relax the shit faucet. No one can out “House Negro” you - it’s impossible. You have the Overseer Lawn Jockey Triple Crown. You, writing dissents? It’s overkill.
Texan Bulldoggette: Nah, Strom liked the darkies enough to stick it in one of ‘em.
You know, those after argument meetings are going to be really interesting once Obama names the Rev. Wright to the court.
AnnieGetYourFun: Clarence’s problem is that since he whored himself out to Republicans to get where he is, he assumes that all affirmative action works that way. He doesn’t realize that affirmative action is designed to get people to where they should be but for discrimination, not because of it.
Guppy06: Yeah & Clarence so hates EVERYONE of his own race, he found him a whitey woman to stick it in. I’m sure the psycho-therapists would have a field day with that one.
Gratuitous useless dicta uttered merely to stick his finger in someone’s eye. Scalia’s brickbats, in contrast, emerge with with a wicked flair that indicates he actually hates his targets more than he does himself. Thomas is just a whinging sad sack.
Why do the House Negroes so hate and oppress the Field Negroes? Don’t they know that’s the White Man’s job? Why do they want to steal jobs from White Men?
If Thomas had been old enough at the time, he’d likely have stolen Rehnquist’s gig challenging blacks at the polls by yelling “You can’t read, GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!” What would Rehnquist have done THEN? Moved onto the Jews?
In unenforceable dicta, Thomas also sought to overrule Loving v. Virginia and called his own marriage to a white woman “the height of uppitiness and an affront against Almighty God.”
African-Americans: Clarence Thomas
Homosexuals: Ed Schrock, or Larry Craig
— “The violence, intimidation and subterfuge that led Congress to pass Section 5 and this court to uphold it no longer remains,” Thomas said. —
Thomas came to this based on a poll he took during one his visits to the Bohemian Grove, where rich, Republican closet queens go to walk around in the buff and get their twanger plunked.
Robert’s also.
Chain Tattoo: My opinion of Clarence is athwart: he’s either a douche nozzle or a guano faucet.
I LOVE “guano faucet…” Also.
In breaking news, this is the first decision that Brer Thomas’ law clerk had to write for him, maybe ever. Too bad his affirmative action hiring policy (crackers preferred) resulted a child who was was apparently left behind at some point.
No no Wonkette - YOUR Awesome!! Just throw us an extra apostrophe or two in you’re next puppy graphic.
As another nutless wonder, Jake Barnes, observes at the end of “The Sun Also Rises,” “Isn’t it pretty to think so?”
AnnieGetYourFun: I seem to remember reading that Thomas just finds out which way Scalia votes and follows suit, thus magnifying the weight of Scalia’s vote. I guess he picked the wrong case to assert his judicial independance
Hooray For Anything: Yeah, my reaction to this was pretty much: “OMG PUPPIES - RACISM IS BAD.”
Also: Fire bad. Tree pretty.
Guppy06: Historically speaking, the relationship between “liked” and “banged” is tenuous at best. Science suggests what we like is the banging, the identity of the co-banger often comes down to availability and scheduling.
The dog pic is awesome, also.
It’s easy for him to dismiss threats of violence, intimidation, and subterfuge—he’s got Rusty the Bailiff watching his back.
Of course Justice Thomas won’t mind paying a tax every time there’s a vote. It’s just fair.
rj77: Beer foamy!!
Oh, no, you did *not* just lump Arizona in with Texas and Alaska. *sulks*
the problem child: Maybe Thomas’s clerks are just fucking with him.
I like how the picture misuses your in place of you’re.
Clarence is taking that whole “you gotta work twice as hard as them to succeed in their world” thing far too seriously. As a Republican/conservative with the zeal of the newly-converted, he also has a white mistress, pays cops to let him blow them, harasses underage pages by text message and pays prostitutes to dress him in a diaper while he shits himself.
hobospacejunkie: Thank you for that. I laughed and cried, and then farted.
Texas isn’t an “honorary” southern state, they were in the Confederacy.
doberhauser: How mean to make fun of a typo made by a one-eyed puppy. Your heartless!
freakishlystrong: I think the saying is “Every time the browns vote, God kills a kitten.”
As a Republican/conservative with the zeal of the newly-converted
He’s also a new(ish) convert to Catholicism, so you know what that means.
CHOIRBOYS AND DOOM COOKIES FOR EVERYBODY!
x111e7thst: Crap, I was hoping no one had done the 3/5ths joke. Next time I’m just gonna post it, repetition be damned.
Hmmm….oh–
Today, we are all racist black Supreme Court justices.
penalcolony: It would be so much fun if Clarence Thomas would have a seriously painful heart attack in Obama’s first term. After Sotomayor is confirmed. What a Christmas present!
Then he could appoint the lady he really wants on the court — Dianne Wood.
June Cleaver 2.0: Didn’t mean appoint. Posted too quickly.
Such a cute puppy! Too bad it can’t spell “your awesome”? Puppy must have skipped 2nd grade where they teach about con-trac-tions . . . “you’re awesome”!
But then, maybe I missed the subtext here . . .
Ayatollah Clarence Thomas isn’t afraid to think with his pubic hair.
^^^^^ My adopted home state, of some time ago, was OK with the dark skinned types voting–hell, there was one at the Constitutional Convention in tropical Fairbanks, fer cryin’ out loud. It’s just that then they wanted ballots in their Native languages, instead of English, which was good enough for Jesus. The darker peoples of my (former) state were all uppity just because they, like, were from Alaska, and knew better than to eat a polar bear’s liver (don’t) or to drink a fifth of vodka that hadn’t frozen when left out in -20 weather (it’s like internal frostbite (bad) unlike the Texans who moved in 15 minutes ago and proclaimed themselves Frontiersmen(tm), in Anchorage, with Cable Tee Vee, also. Fortunately, people before my arrival and since my departure to/from the 49th have given unto the Unwashed amazing civilizin’ influences, like electricity at $1 a kwh, their own cable TV, even in Sleetmute or wherever, and, of course, Sarah Palin, the end.
DangerousLiberal: Thanks for the info on polar bear liver. You have just saved thousands of Wonketteer lives. You deserve a medal. Or a Blingee. Blingee is more likely, though probably no one else will read this thread.
If you do read this thread all the way to here, please be sure to say ‘hi’ in the comments. You know, so we’ll know. And then take it upon yourself to create a Blingee thanking DangerousLiberal for saving our lives. Not doing so would be ungrateful.
WHY AREN’T YOU GRATEFUL??
I, personally, have long thought DangerousLiberal to be worthy of awards far more prestigious than a Blingee Award. Surviving AK and returning to tell the tale deserves SOMEthing in the ‘Lifetime Achievement’ vein, ammiiryte? (Palin gets teh Pulitzer: drama AND fiction!)
…oh. And ‘Hi!’
It should be pointed out however that Justice Thomas is a surprisingly good dancer for a man of his gait, age and temperament, and also is blessed with a rather advanced inherent grasp of rhythm.
Wow, there isn’t one comment in this thread on the substance of Justice Thomas’s argument. The original basis for certain kinds of civil rights legislation were the extraordinary circumstances of racism that were institutionalized in the U.S. The supreme court ruled on the VRA long ago, based on the equities of the case, not the law, (if you don’t understand this concept, you should not post on Supreme Court decisions) but everyone went along because we wanted to ensure fair ballot access. Since the exigency no longer exists, as Justice Thomas pointed out, the basis for overriding states rights no longer exists. The majority decision, btw, took a narrower view because it would have faced this logic if it were to open the issue up to a wider decision, and the majority might well have overturned the Voting Rights Act. Sorry to mess up your Thomas hatred party with logic.
ScribblerG: Sorry to mess up your Thomas hatred party with logic.
No need to apologize. You didn’t.
I recently attended a forum with Abigail Thernstrom. She is simply the best writer and thinker we have on voting rights in America. Her new book “Voting Rights–and Wrongs” takes on this issue directly and I imagine that she would not be surprised by Justice Thomas’s opinion. She bravely makes the claim that only black people can be honest about our success and culture of tolerance. Whites, to be considered “sensitive” must always validate the permanent victim status of blacks. . no matter the evidence. Another way around. . . .a new submission for “Stuff White People Like” e.g. Condemning racism and ignoring how far we’ve come.