wear purple for pete

Everyone Pray For Pete Hoekstra’s Safety In Iran

Are there many things less funny than hot new memes rife with LOLcat spin-offs? Well, this one, “Pete Hoekstra is a Meme” — based on this tragic war tale — is pretty funny, and should be for the next seven hours or so. Anyway, some of you have asked for an Iran open thread, about (the start of) the Khamenei crackdown, so consider this it. Hopefully everyone in Iran and on Twitter stays safe. Fuck bad people.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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137 comments

  1. gurukalehuru

    Iran
    Iran so far away

    All of my thoughts and wishes are with the people of Iran, but one thing this revolution has already accomplished: The TV networks aren’t even pretending to be ahead of the news cycle anymore. Just send in your cell phone videos and they’ll run them. Soon, all news will be like that. Eventually, they may even dispense with their totally superfluous, and rather annoying, commentary.

  2. hobospacejunkie

    Thanks Jim. Now we can start our verbal crackdown on Khameini which, combined with the Congressional resolution, the UN’s strongly-worded resolution and Pete Hoekstra’s close identification with the Iranian martyrs will accomplish jackshit, like afterbirth on toast or lactating men. But at least I don’t have to go to twitter to vent my rage at motorcycle bullies who shoot unarmed women dead on the streets of Tehran. Jesus pig-fucking christ, a society run by men wearing dresses who can count on one hand the number of women they’ve met in their lives is just a recipe for disaster (who knew?) God bless religion and all the murder it has ever been responsible for. Especially today. Amen.

  3. TheReallyImportantLawyer

    Who cares about Iran? This is America and the internet is ARE internet.

  4. imissopus

    The citizens of Iran are being brutally repressed. This must be exactly what it feels like to be Pete Hoekstra.

    Too meta?

  5. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I think we all owe a lot of thanks to Pete Hoekstra and his fellow Republicans for making us all aware of the oppression rich white men suffer in the United States.

    I am sure he will be introducing a bill calling for reparations in the near future. Only once rich white men are freed and made whole, will the United States finally heal.

  6. paintitblack

    [re=343814]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I lived for many months in Shrinigar (NW Injah but big dispute there that it should be/is Pakistan) where some men wore dresses and/or other local garb; the women wear burkhas; and there was little to no co-ed non-sexy-time (eg, just hanging & being pals & ya know, just getting to know one another as people, rather than sex objects). A big mess. This separation of the genders in the name of Allah or whatever doesn’t work. It was, without a doubt, the worst place for overt, ongoing, incessant sexual harrassment both directly physically and verbally, along with intense disrespect & disregard for all women all the time by all men. No doubt Iran isn’t much different (or so I’ve heard from Persian female pals).

    All the best to the brave protestors in Iran. No fun times there. And a big STFU to all grandstanding elsewhere. Make your political points offa someone else’s bad luck for a change.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Here’s an interesting assessment of the general mood of the resistance in Tehran from an anonymous BBC correspondent — Khamenei is only firing up his opponents:

    “We have this daily cry now from the roofs of Allahu Akhbar – God is Great – it’s an opposition protest and night after night it seems to get louder and longer.

    Tonight was the loudest and longest I’ve heard, and that really symbolises and shows you the mood of the opposition here.

    Whatever happens, whatever the government is putting up against them, they seem more and more determined to press on.”

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8105207.stm

  8. tunamelt

    [re=343835]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That makes sense. At a certain point, a people can only take so much, and the more hell you give them, the more determined they will become to not have to endure it any longer.

  9. TheReallyImportantLawyer

    [re=343829]bitchincamaro[/re]: Say NO to insourcing. We cannot allow this NON-AMIriKAN news source to compete with our ELITE established unbiased media.

    -The really important lawyer

  10. hobospacejunkie

    Somewhere in Tehran tonight…

    Husband: Honey, I’m home!

    Wife: How was your day, dear?

    Husband: Best of the week, fuckin’ rocked

    Wife: Why’s that, honey?

    Husband: Well, you know, I shot this chick at point-blank range and watched her bleed out on the street, with all her friends around her wailing. Fuckin’ people, you know? I never banged a dead chick before, but they just fuckin’ hung around forever. I finally gave up, right?

    Wife: Oh, sure, yeah.

    Husband: Then me & the guys celebrated by beating to death a few whiny middle-aged women with batons. There was like blood and brains all over the place. It was almost as much fun as that time I cut that kittens legs off one at a time, you remember that?

    Wife: Uh-huh. You sure were busy, dear.

    Husband: No shit. Revolution my ass, old ladies! Yeah, but it was pretty dull after that. Just hanging around the hospital making sure no one got in. I always get the boring shit.

  11. President Beeblebrox

    Barry needs to speak up real soon about the protests, lest he once again be accused of being a softie Muslin terr’rist coddler or something like that.

    The funny thing is, Barry’s speech and the Iranian election will do more to change that country than a Bush-style grand invasion ever could have hoped to have accomplished.

    Ahmadenitoejam can now go kindly eat a large bag of dicks.

    Now, on to the obligatory Hoekstra meme:

    My parrot bit my finger today. Must be like what Prometheus went through.

  12. bitchincamaro

    @somethin’: I’m not sure why your ‘reply’ button is not working, but that clip was brutal. I can’t read Arabic or Farsi, how do we know it was from Iran?

  13. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343841]bitchincamaro[/re]: Not that this makes it automatically legit, but I saw the same video on Andrew Sullivan’s blog and the HuffPo Iran blog guy’s page.

  14. ManchuCandidate

    Seems a fitting meme for a bunch of assholes who wore purple bandaids mocking Lurch’s overused and overpublicized war record.

  15. bitchincamaro

    [re=343844]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Somehow, a single death like that has a greater impact than the death of 75 innocents in the truck bombing in N. Irag today. This fact of modern life truly, truly sucks.

  16. BlueStateLibtard

    Why are Wonkette editrs werking on a SATURDAY? Have all the liquer stores closed down in DC??? Is this the first part of Nobama’s Muslum agenda???? Liquor is BAnNEd in Arabia, think about it people!!!!

  17. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343841]bitchincamaro[/re]: that clip was brutal

    Which is why I’m a little bent out of shape right now, from the comfort of my air-conditioned home, about to take a nap. As you said, jesus fucking christ that was brutal. That should make Khameini proud, and probably turned on, too. He’ll be ordering a couple Moroccan boys for after-dinner pleasure this evening.

  18. charlesdegoal

    What makes the situation doubly sad is that Iranians who want change could not – or were not allowed to – come up with a better candidate than Mousavi, who’s always been part of the system and relies on the support of the awful Rafsanjani, an ambitious ayatollah and by no means a progressive reformer. It’s a little as if the only alternative to Bush had been Colin Powell, with Donald Trump his main supporter. Only of course much worse. Not change we can believe in.

  19. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343850]bitchincamaro[/re]: It does truly suck. But as you know it’s the up-close and personal brutality of the image, not simply the fact that she was murdered. Horrifyingly, car/truck bombings are regular occurrences. Governments allowing the murder of unarmed women in the streets by mercenary thugs who are paid money for blood is, I hope, exceedingly rare.

  20. chascates

    [re=343853]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Of course you’re bent out of shape. It’s over a hundred fucking degrees!

  21. Bruno

    Dear protesters, if you get it right, soon you too can enjoy the comforts of a Sodexho managed cafeteria like the one in the pixxx

  22. chascates

    Since Jim annointed this as an open threat I hereby waste people’s time and bandwith with this ‘email’ I received. I sent it to Shorts (not that I’m blog whoring) but since it hasn’t show up in that part of the interwebs here ’tis:

    I received this email from an acquaintance in Iran who is known as Joe the Camel Doctor:

    “The reports you hear about the election in Iran are misleading. These come from what we call the ‘mainstream media’ or ‘the drive-by press.’ Practically none of them are Muslims and most are Jewish. The actual situation I can recount from the most trusted figure here, a man call ‘al Rushba’ which means ‘the immense and all-knowing one’. He is wise in the manner of all things. On military matters, even though he didn’t serve in the great Iranian-Iraqi war due to a physical infirmity. Also on the question of women, he had three wives (although curiously, not all at the same time). But they were not to his liking so he sent them away and thus knows what a woman should and should not do.

    The current troubles are due to an elitist, radical segment of society who do not value religion or order. Many are from organized working groups or are students who’ve been mislead by atheist professors. They hate Iran and want the West to win. They think they can ‘negotiate’ with these people. Sure, people in the big cities of Tehran , Mashhad, and Isfahan support this evilness but the REAL Iranians, the patriots of the heartland do not. They are the silent majority, the hardworking people who pay their taxes, go to mosque, and cherish the old time values. Such as that marriage is a sacred bond between a man and his women. And that punishment should be harsh, swift, and frequent.

    The professors in their ivory minarets, the activist mullahs, and the ultra-radical entertainment celebrities actually cheer on these people and fill their heads with nonsense. They insist that the illegals from Afghanistan and Pakistan who come here to take work away from the citizens should be allowed to stay. Even though so many of them speak Azeri, Kurdish, Mazandarani, and Gilak instead of Persian, which should be ruled our official national language. They ignore the teachings of the Holy Qur’an and want a society where the state and religion are separate. They support the feminazis who would burn their burqas and try to learn to read.

    They are the ones who support Mir Hossein Mousavi, who most believe to be a secret Christian and who in his youth palled around with a man who was not a terrorist. He would establish a national insurance program which is contrary to the practice of alms-giving. He would rain in the Iranian National Guard that has always protected us. He would deny our Iranian exceptionalism, our special niche among the world’s nations.

    This is not what our founding ayatollahs fought for. When they threw off the yoke of monarchy they envisioned a new society, one which the world had never seen before. It may not be the best way of governing but it’s the best that man has developed so far, in shah Allah. Why do the unbelievers fear and conspire against us? As the Supreme Leader said, “They hate us for our lack of freedoms.”

    Please spread the truth and hope that people everywhere will join us and say with pride, “eich bin ein Iranian.”

    Also, please write with more information on these young Palin women. If, as you say, they are comely, fertile, and ignorant they would make perfect Muslim wives. For as all believers from Abraham on down realize women should be barefoot, pregnant, and working in the home.”

  23. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343860]chascates[/re]: Ich bin Iranische you ‘tard!

    Sorry, you’re right. The heat’s getting to me.

  24. x111e7thst

    [re=343841]bitchincamaro[/re]: شته شدن دختر جوان توسط لباس شخصی is farsi. I think it’s something about clothes of( or on?) a young woman. Which seems like an odd tag for a video of a young woman dying.

  25. Bruno

    We should be very careful as our writing and actions can kill the protesters. Or even us. The Iranian secret police is no joke, they can see through all our hidden identities and may even have your Paypal accounts which they will use to buy more nukes

  26. wheelie

    [re=343860]chascates[/re]: A very excellent treatise.

    By the way, a guy I work with went to Poland on vacation recently, and went on a day trip to Auschwitz. He came back distressed and dehumanized because – horror of horrors – there were no empty seats on the Auschwitz bus and he had to stand on the bus all the way to Auschwitz.

    He actually asked for a refund.

  27. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=343860]chascates[/re]: I just got back to this “place” and posted the hell out of that. This is an incredibly serious situation at this point, and I’m sorry to all of you that I can’t even try to be funny. Also.

  28. lovekills

    [re=343874]TheReallyImportantLawyer[/re]: According to the Huffington Post her name is Neda. It means call or voice. ” She is the voice of the people, a call to freedom – . I haven’t been able to watch the video, just too upsetting.

  29. x111e7thst

    So it looks like the Assembly of Experts have expressed full support of Ayatollah Khamenei’s statement on Friday. The cracks in the unity of Iran’s ruling clerical establishment are being papered over. Which also means there is no longer anyone in a position of power working to rein in the security forces. Sadness. Headbreaking and killing will continue till the people give up and go home.

  30. Servo

    [re=343860]chascates[/re]:
    WIN! A shame that our wingnuts fail to see the parallels. Perhaps just too blind from hatred.

  31. DC Hates Me

    That Iranian chick is hot … or was hot. The guy rubbing her chest probably isn’t trying to resuscitate her.

  32. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=343840]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Barry needs to speak up real soon about the protests

    I was under the impression that he already had. Something to the effect that people everywhere deserve fair elections and deserve freedom of expression, but alas, we don’t have a dog in this fight, so we’re watching from the sidelines unless some credible party asks us to dive in, which we know we’ll regret doing, eventually, if we do.

    (That last bit was subtext)

  33. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=343894]DC Hates Me[/re]: Eww. That’s pretty gaddanged, icecold, callused, inhumane snark.

    And I thought I was pretty heartless.

  34. SayItWithWookies

    [re=343894]DC Hates Me[/re]: He was actually putting pressure on the wound — you know, where she was shot. By her own police while she was peacefully protesting the stolen election.

  35. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343900]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Oh, don’t worry, you’re still heartless, just maybe not the most heartless here, today.

  36. hobospacejunkie

    I want to say that perhaps the stomach-churning images of this poor woman will become iconic, Tienanmen Square-like. But then the sum total of those protests were X amount murdered + one iconic photo. Solutions? UN troop invasion? Pressure from neighboring countries? Both as likely as Tinkerbell casting a spell to make it all go away.

  37. hobospacejunkie

    Strange how the person who earlier in the week was here saying “protests & violent police crackdown do not = stolen election” is now nowhere to be found. That’s right Mr./Ms. Fucked Up Logic, I’m calling you out.

  38. Hooray For Anything

    [re=343860]chascates[/re]: Ahhh….yes…I heard the protests were organized by the nefarious Zionist terrorist group, Al-Acorn. And I have also heard that Mousavi was actually born in Schenectady New York and refuses to show the Iranian people official proof that he was born in Iran.

  39. Hooray For Anything

    And now for something in a different vein, this email from an Iranian the night before today’s protests broke my heart yesterday:

    “I will participate in the demonstrations tomorrow. Maybe they will turn violent. Maybe I will be one of the people who is going to get killed. I’m listening to all my favorite music. I even want to dance to a few songs. I always wanted to have very narrow eyebrows. Yes, maybe I will go to the salon before I go tomorrow! There are a few great movie scenes that I also have to see. I should drop by the library, too. It’s worth to read the poems of Forough and Shamloo again. All family pictures have to be reviewed, too. I have to call my friends as well to say goodbye. All I have are two bookshelves which I told my family who should receive them. I’m two units away from getting my bachelors degree but who cares about that. My mind is very chaotic. I wrote these random sentences for the next generation so they know we were not just emotional and under peer pressure. So they know that we did everything we could to create a better future for them. So they know that our ancestors surrendered to Arabs and Mongols but did not surrender to despotism. This note is dedicated to tomorrow’s children…”

  40. SayItWithWookies

    [re=343904]hobospacejunkie[/re]: As frustrating as it may sound, this is really a time for holding back. The Iranian people really do have to do most of this themselves. We can do things like exert pressure by protesting here, and national leaders can exert pressure by reminding Khamenei that he’s looking more and more like the Shah every time his thugs fire on his own people, and reminding the Iranian people that we support democracy.

    Khamenei might see reason or he might exert his authority until there’s real revolution and he’s overthrown. He could also outlast this tide or beat it down, but I think the odds of that being successful are lower every day.

    Other than that, this has to play out in Iran, so there’s very little outsiders can do to help right now. And if Iran’s past is any indicator, there will probably be lots of bloodshed before this is over. We should definitely move in with humanitarian aid, friendship, consultations on democracy and human rights (ha ha, coming from us) and anything else as soon as it’s over. Hopefully we’re preparing for that now.

  41. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343907]Hooray For Anything[/re]: jesus fucking christ, man. This person is probably early to mid-20s? If our future rests on the shoulders of our similarly-aged countrymen & women I sure hope enough of them caught Hopey fever and don’t succumb to non-participatory cynicism, like some people.

    *hands in pockets, looks down at shoes & whistles*

  42. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343908]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I heartily agree. But I felt it necessary to at least consider and acknowledge the possibility of other courses of action. Of the two I mentioned one seems unlikely & unhelpful, the other merely sadly unlikely. Diplomatic pressure from or shaming by fellow mideast despots might yield some positive results, unlike the same coming from elsewhere.

  43. d34dfish

    Twitter users: set your location to Tehran and your time zone to GMT +3.30. Security forces are hunting for bloggers using location/timezone searches. The more people at this location, the more of a logjam it creates for forces trying to shut Iranians’ access to the internet down. Cut & paste & pass it on.

  44. chascates

    [re=343911]d34dfish[/re]: Done. And it’s the only thing I’ve ever done with Twitter since I signed up for an account months ago.

  45. Cherry Garcia

    Ditto and I am officially going to stop snarking about how stupid I thought Twitter was.

    CNN just showed a video of a nigh time home invasion somewhere in Tehran. You can’t see much, but you hear the screams. It almost made me ill. I am one of the last people to be rah-rah USA, but thank GOD/Yahweh/Allah/the Earth Goddess that I live here.

  46. chascates

    And since I actually logged into my Twitter thingee I searched for the keen insight of Larry King and discovered this:

    Christiane Amanpour is doing a live version of my show tonight on #IranElection. She’ll have all the latest reporting.
    about 3 hours ago from web

    Larry’s not too good on these type of events.

  47. chascates

    And not surprisingly Sarah Palin’s twatter brings in a little patriotism!:

    “W/deadly Iranian protests let us be thankful for, & supportive of, U.S. Military defending OUR democracy & freedom. God protect the innocent
    about 7 hours ago from TwitterBerry”

  48. Neilist

    [re=343814]hobospacejunkie[/re]: “Jesus pig-fucking christ, a society run by men wearing dresses who can count on one hand the number of women they’ve met in their lives is just a recipe for disaster (who knew?)”

    Hobo, get a grip: Ireland (or Eire, if you prefer) is a wonderful country. Despite all those Catholic priests in dresses who run the society (when their not buttfucking little boys in those correctional facilities the Holy Mother Church operates).

    Oh, wait a minute.

    You’re talking about IRAN?

    Never mind.

  49. AxmxZ

    [re=343923]chascates[/re]: Palin has a very one-track mind, and that track is well-trodden by sexy, sexy troops.

  50. Neilist

    [re=343907]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Thanks for sharing that.

    I hope he/she/it goes with god, God, G-D, or whatever the fuck it is that ought to look out for those who risk their lives in a good cause.

    (Damnit. I just said something sincere.)

  51. SayItWithWookies

    [re=343923]chascates[/re]: She actually has a Barbie doll that emits these things when she pulls a string on its back, right? Oh no, wait — she is a Barbie doll that emits these things when she pulls a string on her back.

  52. DustBowlBlues

    [re=343827]paintitblack[/re]: I’ve got to wonder what’s wrong with men who can’t control their lust if they catch a glimpse of a woman’s hair. Hell, I”ve made it to Superbowl parties and home safely without wearing full body armor. If the asshole men over here can control themselves, WTF is wrong with middle eastern men?

  53. nappyduggs

    [re=343928]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I’m going to C my way into this A/B if you don’t mind because this vexes me something fierce. It’s not a matter of not being able to control their lust- it’s about not believing that they should have to. Hence the multi-nupts, the total eclipse o’the face, etc, suchforth, and Sotomayor.

  54. DustBowlBlues

    [re=343908]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I don’t think Obama should give Khomeni or Akma–other hard name a reason to cite the Great Satan again. Bush went down that road and made Akmahardname the winner–Bush, Rumsfeld, and Rice can take credit for causing the Iranians to circle the wagons and elect dickhead.

    Shit, I have to go to bed and CNN is finally switching to CNN International. It so pisses me off that we don’t get any international news on any of my 350+ stations. Even BBC has BBC America news that is dumbed down for the US.

    LINK and FSTV try, but on their budgets, there’s only so much they can do.

  55. DustBowlBlues

    [re=343930]nappyduggs[/re]: Very good points. And I never give snaps to anyone else.

    From an AP story on the Monitor site: “General Esmaeil Ahmadi Moghadam said on state television. “The events have become exhausting, bothersome and intolerable. I want them to take the police cautions seriously because we will definitely show a serious confrontation against those who violate rules.”

    Exhausting, bothersome and intolerable? Even making allowances for language diffs, isn’t that kind of ridiculous?

    All these young people out protesting shows what happens when you let people go to college and get an education. No wonder Republicans are so against public education.

    And backing up, before we write off Musavi as like Akmahardname, (I’m looking at you, B Hussein O) recall that he campaigned with his wife and for women’s greater opportunities.

    Nite all. I can’t even make a joke about the victimization-loving Republicans, except for the fact they obviously take having lost an election as having been victimized.

  56. Gallowglass

    Watching this go on put has me in mind of “Virginius” from The Lays of Ancient Rome.

    “Poured thick and fast the burning words which tyrants quake to hear,
    Now, by your children’s cradles, now by your fathers’ graves,
    Be men to-day, Quirites, or be forever slaves!

    Spare us the inexpiable wrong, the unutterable shame,
    That turns the coward’s heart to steel, the sluggard’s blood to flame,
    Lest, when our latest hope is fled, ye taste of our despair,
    And learn by proof, in some wild hour, how much the wretched dare.”

    I don’t have much else to add.

    You can find the rest of “Virginius” and the other Lays here:
    http://theotherpages.org/poems/rome.html

  57. Dreadful Gate

    If you’re on Twitter, follow @Change_for_Iran

    He’s on the scene and has been out every night. He’s sleeping now, but his last twats said they he didn’t believe the stories about pouring acid from helicopters, but that it had been all over the Farsi web. He also says the Revolutionary Guard is moving tanks into Tehran, and the Army’s not stopping them

  58. Hooray For Anything

    [re=343911]d34dfish[/re]: I just signed up for Twitter just to do this. I somehow feel both lame and proud of myself all at the same time.

  59. Neilist

    [re=343934]Gallowglass[/re]: “For every man upon this earth,
    Death cometh soon or late.
    But can a man die better, then facing fearful odds,
    For the ashes of his fathers, and the temples of his gods?”

    Dear me. We’ll be quoting that English public school homo Wilfred Owen next.

    But then, the Iranians hate the British worse than they hate us.

  60. Nerdalicious

    Jeez, is all this about Hopey too? I saw them with “Change” signs. Mmmm the simmering “ID” of an out of control “Superego” country. The “ID” has no restraints. The “Superego” is the police in our head. I guess if you hang enough teenagers from cranes in the public square, people will eventually erupt. This ain’t about no election. I pray for the people being pulled from their homes in the night. These are the people we will never hear from or see on the Internet, or tally in the death count. And that soccer team, I hope they don’t plan on going back, or they will never be seen again either. Fight on.

  61. Neilist

    This just in! The Iranian Supreme Court just intervened, and declared Arkmarkadirkadirka the WINNER!!!

    Something about the alleged voter fraud in the province of Ohiostan or Upper Floridkurd not counting or something.

    The opinion was written by Associate Grand LamaDamaDingDong Al-Akabar Alitio or whatever his name is.

    Oh, one more thing: Benazir Bhutto is STILL dead!


  62. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=343894]DC Hates Me[/re]: Yeah whoa not even impressed by your ability to attempt a joke there, especially since it didn’t work. BYE.

    [re=343938]Neilist[/re]: HAHA I knew Neilist wouldn’t miss this opportunity to tread the line, so tread away!

    [re=343934]Gallowglass[/re]: Even on a post like this, you have managed to be too humorless. NO MORE ANCIENT POEMS TO EXPRESS SAD MOOD.

  63. SayItWithWookies

    [re=343944]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “something good” as in good reporting, not actual good news.

  64. Nerdalicious

    [re=343894]DC Hates Me[/re]:
    Go straight to the opposite of the place that women went to. I hope the BYE meant banned.

  65. Wet Work

    Poor woman. I’m all in favor of Obama quoting Martin Luther King Jr. as a way of encouraging non-violent protest, but if it was me I’d be filling empty 40 oz. bottles with gasoline right about now … pig roast, if you git me.

  66. chascates

    From http://www.presstv.ir:
    Suicide bombing leaves 3 injured in Tehran
    A terrorist bombing attack has targeted the mausoleum of Imam Khomeini in southern Tehran, wounding three pilgrims at the site.

    Also:
    The British government says it has frozen an unprecedented total of one billion pounds (1.64 billion US dollars) worth of Iranian assets.

  67. Packherd

    That is the Brechtbau cafeteria in Tübingen, Germany.

    Why is it on my Wonkette? In a post about Congressman Hoekstra? What the hell is happening?

  68. gurukalehuru

    [re=343945]Jim Newell[/re]: I see the banhammer has become a ban scalpel. Nice work.

  69. Hooray For Anything

    [re=343950]Wet Work[/re]: Yeah, as much as I’m down with the whole non-violent thing, I’m kinda rooting for the protesters to get medieval on the riot police’s ass.

    [re=343954]chascates[/re]:I think there’s word that either the thing didn’t happen or that the government staged it to blame the protesters or something like that.

  70. Extemporanus

    Reading each and every one of the preceding comments similar to what Andrew Sullivan had to endure when live-blogging Day 8. #iranelection

  71. chascates

    [re=343959]Hooray For Anything[/re]: The report I saw claimed ‘Arabs’ were responsible and since Iranians consider themselves Persians that seemed a little weird. I wish the hell Russia would do something such as threatening to withhold any shipments of antiaircraft missiles they’ve sold Iran.

  72. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343961]chascates[/re]: I wish the hell Russia would do something

    Except tiny man Medvedev just welcomed Ahmadi with open arms this week, congratulating him on his “victory.”

  73. Extemporanus

    Determining favorite feline avatar between [re=343962]hobospacejunkie[/re]: and [re=343963]chascates[/re]: similar to pre-pubescent pain of picking Lion-O over Cheetara. #iranelection

  74. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343965]Extemporanus[/re]: Well, if I may speak in my favor without talking harshly against my competitor. My cat is from the reality-based community, though he died in March 2006. Plus he had a cool nickname. His name was Nelson, but his nickname was Wrinklepuss. He had been a grown tomcat who we neutered, so all the folds of skin some toms get on their back near the neck stayed, and as he had short fur he looked like he had beaucoups of wrinkles, hence the nickname. I sure do miss the ol’ boy. He used to bathe our female cats, free of charge. And he passed that courtesy onto our current two male cats. Watching cats bathe each other is one of life’s simple pleasures. The one receiving the bath takes it like it’s the most treasured luxury to be had in life.

  75. Paul Tardy

    Can’t we do just one more war, while we still have some money left. Pleeeeeez. But if we can’t nuke Tehran, at least there is that celebration of American Patriotism Anthrocon 2009, Pittsburgh Pa, July 4 weekend. Won’t see any Islamo fascists, or Chi-coms, well not sure about Chi-coms, but pretty sure about Islame-o fascists not being there.

  76. BlueStateLibtard

    [re=343928]DustBowlBlues[/re]: It has more to do with hatred of women than not being able to control themselves. There’s a big streak of misogyny that runs through many men. Some of it’s derived from hatred of their mothers and having been “controlled” by them. Forcing women to cover up also gives them a sense of power and helps them “look down” on them, making them feel less inadequate. I bet they all have really, really small penises.

  77. windupbird

    [re=343965]Extemporanus[/re]: Chairman Meow is cute, but hobo’s cat is really strikingly pretty.

  78. x111e7thst

    [re=343959]Hooray For Anything[/re]: The “suicide bombing” is either, as you say , an Iranian government conspiracy or an attempt to stir the pot further by the Mujahedeen-e-Khalq> Who are a more or less terrorist group whose ideology blends Marxism and Islamism . They want to overthrow the Islamic Republic. The Iranian security forces have severely degraded the MEK’s capabilities over the last 5 years but they still have the occasional suicide bombing in them. In any event this is NOT something the people currently protesting could or would do.

  79. Monsieur Grumpe

    somethin’

    If you remove the ” ‘ ” from the end of your name I bet you reply button will work.
    Been there.

    Monsieur Grumpe’

  80. hobospacejunkie

    [re=343983]windupbird[/re]: It’s barely 8am & you’ve already made my day. You’re very kind to make such comments.

  81. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=343986]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:

    Typing in the morning before having coffee is like George W Bush trying to complete a sentence.
    I’m firing my proof reader.

  82. somethinstinks

    [re=343986]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Done. I am now known as Somethinstinks, as I had originally intended. Thanks.

    Also, in re the alleged bombing at Khomenei’s tomb: can anyone say “Reichstag Fire”?

  83. windupbird

    [re=343987]hobospacejunkie[/re]: De nada, hobo! I love cats, too. We love all animals in our home. I have 2 – Maddie is about 11, short gray hair with green eyes. Lucy is 5, long gray hair with amber eyes. Maddie is very smart but very lazy. Lucy is a bit deranged – we make allowances for that, her mother died when she was too young to be weaned…….but she does things like get her head stuck between the slats of the baby gate.

  84. CivicHoliday

    So, given the general seriousness of this thread, i’m assuming Dave Denby will go crawl in a corner somewhere and slowly asphyxiate on a bag of peni in shame at accusing us of having no soul?? Maybe that’s hoping for to much joy on an otherwise sad sad day.

    They are arresting the wounded now and just pulling them out of the hospital, to go sit in a jail cell somewhere until they slowly bleed to death. And they purposefully burn their own buildings and vandalize shops so they can blame it on the peaceful protestors and call them thugs and terrorists. Now that all the clerics are ‘united’, my hope is dwindling for a powerful democratic led change. Please someone tell me this isn’t just going to be a bloodbath of all progressive voices…a vast silencing of the majority who dares yearn for more…

  85. windupbird

    [re=343993]CivicHoliday[/re]: I’d read on Twitter that people were being intercepted at hospitals. Hopefully people will now completely avoid the hospitals and go to the embassies for treatment.

  86. gurukalehuru

    [re=343993]CivicHoliday[/re]: The clerics are not united. At least, I hope not.
    But I agree with those of you who think the car bomb and the breaking of shop windows were agent-provocateur/false flag type operations. I suspect that kind of shit happens all the time.

  87. x111e7thst

    [re=343995]gurukalehuru[/re]: The clerics are papering over their differences in the face of what they percieve as a threat to their system as a whole might be a better way to put it. There are even indications that Mir-Hossein Moussavi may be trying to put some space between himself and the protests in the streets.
    (My Iranian friend is now in Tashkent so I’m having trouble following up on that rumor. On the other hand she is not in Teheran and that makes me very happy)

  88. x111e7thst

    [re=343997]x111e7thst[/re]: On the other hand there is this:

    VERIFIED – Moussavi arrested about ten minutes ago BBC CNN #IranElection (via @alkapsom, @jdonners)/ìf true it’s going to b an intense day

  89. sati demise

    [re=343993]CivicHoliday[/re]: The clerics are about as united as the vote counting was fair. One guy sent out a message supposedly for all of them but he was the only one who signed the document. so? That bothered me too.

    Trying to get Starbucks to change my order is just like the Iranians trying to get their vote counted.

  90. Edywin

    I peed this morning. Now I know how R. Kelly feels. Without the adolescent girls underneath.

  91. memzilla

    We marched on DC in May 1971 — http://tinyurl.com/may71dc . We were teargassed, maced, arrested, and thrown into RFK Stadium. But we never thought for a second that DC Metro Police would be shooting us from the rooftops, even though the kids at Kent State had been gunned down a year earlier.

    We polished our anti-war credentials and used them to get laid. Also.

    But we see none of that with the Iran protests. No after-march parties. No egos. No student leaders with their own sub-agendas. No inanities. Just the largest, most brutal reality show in the world: “So You Think You Can Vote.”

    Funny, the biggest worry about computers back in the ’60s was that the All Powerful State would use them to control us all. Now it’s a 180 reverse.

    F**k totalitarianism, f**k despots, f**k theocracy of any brand. All power to the people.

  92. Johnny Zhivago

    Iranians fighting Iranians makes me sad. Why doesn’t Obama take a tougher stand so the Iranians could be united again in their outright hatred of America?

  93. Hooray For Anything

    [re=344006]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Maybe that’s the neo-cons secret agenda to bring an end to the violence? Who knew they were such humanitarians?

  94. windupbird

    [re=343998]x111e7thst[/re]: I don’t think it’s verified that Mousavi’s been arrested. It’s not on CNN nor is it on the BBC site.

  95. Neilist

    [re=343945]Jim Newell[/re]: Damnit, Mr. Newell, DON’T ENCOURAGE THAT ASSHOLE NEILIST!!!

    Oh, wait a minute.

    Jim: Never mind that. It was Benazir Bhutto being channeled from Beyond The Grave.

    Because she’s STILL DEAD!

    [re=343934]Gallowglass[/re]: Seriously, nobody reads old Thomas Babington anymore. My compliments. Although, when it comes to “The Lays of Ancient Rome,” I always immediately think of Emperor Gaius and that wonderful movie starring Malcolm McDowell in his greatest screen role.

    (That’s “Caligua,” to those of you with an American public school “edjumakatin.”

    [re=343981]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: I volunteer to be “controlled by women.” Women wearing black leather, that is.

  96. Paul Tardy

    Iranians, can’t bomb’em, can’t get’em to elect the people we want. What’s a unitary super power to do?

  97. AKAM80TheWolf

    [re=344014]Neilist[/re]:

    It’s actually Caligula. Sorry about being anal, but I use Caligula as a screen name for a lot of other sites. Actually to be TruckNutz level anal it’s CALIGVLA.

    I only wish I knew how to say TruckNutz in Latin. Qvoqve (also).

  98. CivicHoliday

    [re=343999]sati demise[/re]: ah yes, just read that n HuffPo. nice that not all clerics signed that statement, and that some are still apparently cautiously showing support for protestors. even so, situation still highly precarious.

  99. proudgrampa

    [re=344014]Neilist[/re]: Did somebody get laid in Rome? Emperor “Gaius” ?? Wha-?

  100. Extemporanus

    [re=343974]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Even at a square 1/4 inch, I could tell that puss had a story to tell—thank you for very much sharing it. I’m currently in the custody of a bengal named Nico (who’s more dog than cat—fetches, heels, swims, eat raw meat, 6 ft vertical leap), and her 25 pound older brother Pimp Daddy (who was half a pound and a month old when we found him in a cardboard box in Berkeley.)

    Nico would lick 24/7 if allowed an infinite supply of saliva. Perhaps within your licking analysis lies the key to solving the Iranian situation—send over some cats to lick the shit out of ‘em until everyone stops fighting, rolls over, and dozes off with contented smiles and gleaming hair. You’d think being Persian and all they would’ve tried that by now, but…

    (btw, here’s a LINK to a pic of my licker. Nico’s the one with the spots, the ghostly one is the dearly departed Aje, and the rest are friends/enemies of the family. PD is so evil he doesn’t register on film.)

  101. hobospacejunkie

    [re=344078]CivicHoliday[/re]: Cuz fancying cats relieves the stress of a weekend watching violent Iranian snuff pr0n (w/o the pr0n.) I’ve been sleeping all day & now I’m afraid to check Sully’s blog, that HuffPo guy’s blog, Twitter, etc. No more Nedas, please.

  102. hobospacejunkie

    [re=344051]Extemporanus[/re]: Oh my, what a tongue! And the other pics — someone doesn’t like his/her squid. And apparently kitty stew for dinner, kitty on skateboard, kitty dreaming of commanding an army of tiny dogs and even a silver tabby (?) I’m fortified with cute. Now onwards into the horror. From the comfort of my own 4-cat house.

  103. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=344078]CivicHoliday[/re]: This is Wonkette??? I thought this was HelsinkisFunniestLOLcats.com

  104. Neilist

    [re=344020]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: I can’t spell in the first place, and it gets worse on a laptop (cause my hands/fingers got busted too many times).

    Thanks for the correction. Anything is better than “Cat Fancy” comments.

    (Cats: Good for nothing free-loaders. Particularly the Siamese — nasty little gooks that remind one of Victor Charles on a bad day.)

    Oh, and “Truck Nutz!” in Latin?

    How about “Autocarrum Testis!” Or using “cart” for “truck”: “Plastrum Testis!”?

  105. Boojum

    While looking up TruckNutz in Latin, I came across this little gem:

    Palilalia is a condition in which one repeats words meaninglessly. Also.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palilalia

    It derives from the Greek word “Palin” meaning “backward” or “again.” Also.

    Just sayin’ that the Universe has a sense of humor after all.

  106. Extemporanus

    [re=344101]Neilist[/re]: Your avatar—a Siamese cat being waterboarded, right?—now makes perfect sense.

    (Considering the unmistakable LOL-macro aesthetic of our Wonkette Editor’s choice of image, doesn’t it strike you as something of a miracle that the first reference to said meme didn’t occur until nearly 24 hours and well over 100 comments after it was first posted? And it was a reference made by only one other commenter aside from yourself?)

    Oh, and “Truck Nutz!” in Latin?

    Your second translation is very nearly on the nose, though I’d suggest a slight edit in the interest of etymological anal retentiveness: “Plaztrum Teztiz!”

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