Hey members of the public, did you pray for Hillary Clinton and her right elbow as they went into surgery today? Because thanks to you, her elbow is fine. Of course, if the woman had any decency she would have both of her elbows removed permanently. [First Read]
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Authors
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5429)
Wonkette Jr. (626)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Kaia Mursi (44)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6695)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 50 comments }
It’s a vast right elbow conspiracy, is what.
She had a bionic one installed. Don’t mess with her, Bill.
The first step to becoming… The Hillinator!
Hillary. We hardly knew ye.
I know what Puma stands for, but what about Ulna?
Unity Lovers Not American? Ugly Ladies National Alliance?
Ulna humerus OK now?
PUMAs all over American can breath easier now, and pick up that half-eaten slab of Enteman’s chocolate cake.
Sara? Hillary “Thalidomide” Clinton? Wha?
Or were you thinking T-Rex look?
I just know Kissinger was behind this somehow.
Oh, you think this is humerus, do you?
Who will give Bill the sharp elbow when he stares too long at the girlies?
Goddamnit…”breathe easier now…” I am no smarter than a truck full of Paulites sans trucknutz.
WHAT HAPPENED, DID JON FAVREAU TRY TO RAPE HERE AGAIN?!?1
Anyone care for a Junior Mint?
There’s a health care joke in here somewhere.
Do not be surprised when Secretary Clinton talks into her elbow and Justice Sotomayor listens to her ankle.
[re=343409]Jukesgrrl[/re]:
And don’t demand any handjobs either.
If David Letterman hadn’t raped us all with Olive Garden this wouldn’t have had to happen.
In the Circle, it’s all assholes and elbows.
First Sotomayor. Then Hillary.
Isn’t it clear that Obama is injuring the powerful women around him and then replacing them at the hospital with terminators?
The PUMAs were right!
Was it the right wing or the left wing?
Sorry.
Does the right elbow know what the far right elbow is doing?
[re=343416]chascates[/re]: Damn. You gotta get up pretty early in the morning if you’re gonna win the afternoon.
Ah, now the PUMAs can go back to Olive Garden.
They really love them breadsticks!
it’s all part of Barry’s campaign to make Health Care the top priority.
You know, were I the Unamerican Secret Muslim Islamofascist Socialist Barack Obama that only Fox News reports on, I’m not sure I could turn down the temptation to have personal rocket launchers installed in my political appointees either. I mean, why would you not? I don’t know that the ankle’s a great place for one, but Hillary Clinton’s elbow? We would win diplomacy every time.
[re=343428]Extemporanus[/re]: Prognosis Negative
[re=343429]19kevin8[/re]: I thought it was interesting when they reported this yesterday and said she’d have to get the surgery next week. And I was wondering where the outrage was that in our non-socialist healthcare system you still have to wait a week for necessary surgery!
But then it turned out that it was just a ruse — so bummer.
And Hillary — I’m glad your operation went okay, but I didn’t pray for your elbow. I did, however, pray for Chelsea’s elbow. If by “pray” you mean “think lewd thoughts.” And by “elbow” you mean — well, you get the idea.
She injured her elbow due to overuse during her primary run. Barry has the welts to show it.
Next time she’s in public watch for the magic marker on her left side: “WRONG ARM”
I always figured that Monica’s knees would give out before Hillary’s elbow.
You people are sick. It’s not humerus to joke about the aged and infirm. Or the clumsy.
[re=343465]ShamWow[/re]: Mulva?..
At least somebody gets to benefit from government health care.
[re=343492]Extemporanus[/re]: It’s Dolores…
Rahm, I told you to break her neck, not her elbow. You won’t slow her down with a broken arm. All you have done is force her to hire Liz Becton to write her emails. End of days, you moron.
If she comes out with her arm in a slingette and her faced all ironed out I’m gonna be pissed.
WUT ABOUT THE CANKLES???2??2?
Not one word about this on Hillbuzz. Just sayin.
Thats the elbow that wound up in Bubba’s groin area from time to time, along with an ashtray thrown his way. The hospital has the x-rays to prove it so.
[re=343425]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Hey, don’t be down on yourself. It was just a silent e.
Yeah, she’s just doing it for the vicodin…. See what the Iran and NK gov’ts are doing in her absence???
Why didn’t she just have Rick Warren “HEAL” it?
I’m gonna get a bit more mileage out of this one: let’s all have an iced white zinfandel spritzer in honor of this occasion.
[re=343596]zhubajie[/re]: Because it would require the laying of hands on XX-chromosone flesh. (Yum] His fingers would glow and sizzle, like the spectacled, Gestapo Nazi’s at the end of Raiders of the Lost Arc.
And then where would evangelical Christiamity be, don’t cha ya know?
But I digress.
[re=343552]FreshCliches[/re]:
Ohhh, the cankle-bone’s connected to the – knee-bone
and the knee-bone’s connected to the – thigh-bone
and the thigh-bone’s connected to the – hip-bone…
Oh, who am I kidding. Hil doesn’t have a hip bone in her whole body.
This could change Bill’s Love life! What with H having to switch hands and all. (i tried)
Do not look up that thigh bone to where it connects. Just don’t! Front view, side view, Rear ahhh STOP JUST DON’T.
. To go where one man has gone before. If your I’s have it. Bad deal!
It was a “slip and fall” in the State Department garage. She oughta sue the boss…oh, wait. Also, thank God it wasn’t one of her cankles. That would have taken months to find a donor, do the implant and wait for healing.
Dude! Hillary’s elbow is *important* so’s she can go on drinking as a diplomat. The fate of Western Civilization hangs on her elbow!
Did the Puma’s even bother to hold some kind of candlelit vigil or have they forgotten about Hillz already? I feel so dirty when I have to go over to those Puma sites, so I’m not going to bother to check myself.
Was there any kind of power struggle at State when she was in surgery? Going in for surgery is usually an ideal time for coup-plotting.
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