• May 27, 2012

Rare Ghoul/Candystriper Appears In Senate Hearing

by Sara K. Smith  11:08 am June 18, 2009

It only appears right around the summer solsticeWho is this monster who beat up homeless Willy Wonka and stole his jacket? Oh it’s just your kindly Senator Bob Bennett from Utah, asking the Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs Committee if they would like some licorice sticks. They’re in the back of his van. His windowless van.

SEXY UPDATE:

Oh ha ha it’s Seersucker Thursday in the Senate! It’s a tradition of some sort!

Thanks to “Michael” for this frightening image.

{ 63 comments }

Mark Sanford June 18, 2009 at 11:13 am

I would totally give that guy a loan.

TJBeck June 18, 2009 at 11:13 am

I’m thinking that’s a moire pattern, but still. Maybe it’s the magical underpants shining through.

ManchuCandidate June 18, 2009 at 11:14 am

“Look at my suit, your eyes are getting heavy. You feel tired and sleepy. Sleepy…”

MARCdMan June 18, 2009 at 11:15 am

Have they already replaced John Ensign?

rereridiculous June 18, 2009 at 11:16 am

As his contribution to the regeneration of the economy, he’s letting the Fed rub his head for good luck.

Extemporanus June 18, 2009 at 11:16 am

Nice neckballs, penis pate.

19kevin8 June 18, 2009 at 11:16 am

I need to change my pants now. Thanks.

Saragon June 18, 2009 at 11:16 am

Is that suite made out of television interference? I thought DTV was supposed to get rid of that.

LittlePig June 18, 2009 at 11:17 am

Wow. If the jacket has Hypno-Vision, one can only imagine what the magic underwear do.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 18, 2009 at 11:19 am

Seersucker looks just dead tacky on anyone who isn’t blood kin to Colonel Sanders, Colonel Reb of Ole Miss, or George Will.

Extemporanus June 18, 2009 at 11:21 am

[re=341875]Extemporanus[/re]: I was just informed by my wife that those are actually “necknutz” NOT “neckballs”.

I think she knows what’s she’s talking about, because she’s wearing mine right now. (Looks great on her btw!)

nappyduggs June 18, 2009 at 11:21 am

“We’ve got trouble. Right here in Salt Lake City. That starts with T which rhymes with P and that stands for polygamy.”

BklynIlluminati June 18, 2009 at 11:21 am

I thought it was the preacher guy from Poltergeist part deux

Mr Blifil June 18, 2009 at 11:23 am

Is this a still from that Watchmen movie?

AllHat June 18, 2009 at 11:23 am

White silk jacket? Bow tie? 10 points for style, Sen. Bennett.

norbizness June 18, 2009 at 11:26 am

Closer to current-day Malcolm McDowell, if he sang in a barbershop quartet at Disney World after preparing his head in a bowling ball polisher.

McDuff June 18, 2009 at 11:30 am

Oh, Jeebus, from the dark corners of my mind comes the memory of the suit I was wearing in my 1977 high school senior photo — it’s why I can never go home again.

Anyway, I wonder if Bob still has the Farrah Fawcett swimsuit poster on his bedroom wall.

freakishlystrong June 18, 2009 at 11:31 am

Whaaa?? I thought all Republicans were porcine, doughy pantloads…

schvitzatura June 18, 2009 at 11:32 am

All that is missing is a paper garrison cap…say mister, can you whip me up another pineapple phosphate.

What a “jerk”!

tunamelt June 18, 2009 at 11:34 am

And I just read some stupid article that said preppy is back.

CorkPopper June 18, 2009 at 11:38 am

Does it still count as summer solstice if it RAINS EVERY FUCKING DAY AND SO YOU CAN’T SEE THE SUN?

OT, but I’m cranky.

jodyleek June 18, 2009 at 11:40 am

Unfortunately, that horrible jacket reminds me of this.

Manos: Hands of Fate June 18, 2009 at 11:43 am

Who stole Matt Lesko’s question marks?

Mr Blifil June 18, 2009 at 11:44 am

“You look so nice in your cocksucker suit…”

jodyleek June 18, 2009 at 11:45 am

[re=341904]jodyleek[/re]: Oh, crap. This.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 18, 2009 at 11:46 am

[re=341900]tunamelt[/re]: According to LNS, it never left.

Not_So_Much June 18, 2009 at 11:48 am

I’ll bet ‘Seersucker Thursday’ means something waaay different to the GOP members…

magic titty June 18, 2009 at 11:52 am

You have to love Dress Up Like A Slave Trader Day at the US Senate.

WhatTheHeck June 18, 2009 at 11:52 am

Shouldn’t he be selling ice-cream from a pushcart on the Joisey shores?

blueblue June 18, 2009 at 11:52 am

he is sooooo taking me back to my favorite pedophiliac movie hero from childhood.

the shifty-eyed, bad joan jett wig wearing, hunchback from chitty chitty bang band who lured dick van dyke’s retarded children into HIS windowless “candy van”.

and, strangely enough, utah is exactly where I expected him to live. he and his fourteen wives, all of whom he lured, at one time or another, into his “candy van” with promises of an all-day sucker.

definitely a “don’t miss while shrooming” flick. just a tip.

tunamelt June 18, 2009 at 11:53 am

[re=341912]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I would pay good money for a picture of a member of Senate in a seersucker shorts suit with knee high socks.

pedestrian rage June 18, 2009 at 11:55 am

More proof that the Senate is made up as follows: 30% people you’ve heard of; 40% average joes and janes who prefer NOT to be heard from; and 30% undead.

Monsieur Grumpe June 18, 2009 at 11:55 am

Black socks and sandals would definitely top off that ensemble.

rcdl June 18, 2009 at 11:56 am

Typical Republicans. The Capitol has had air conditioning for 50+ years, yet they keep on trying to bring us back to the 1900′s.

Holding Out for a Hero June 18, 2009 at 12:07 pm

Doesn’t the Book of Revelation foretell the dead rising from their grave as a sign of the end of the world? Because seriously…

AllHat June 18, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Good lord, I assumed the references to Seersucker Thursday were a joke! Silly me, it’s the US Senate that’s a joke.

Lascauxcaveman June 18, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Seersucker suits are awesome. Everytime I see one it takes me straight back to the time I was in a local production of “The Music Man.” Good times.

(sing with me!) “OOOH, there’s nothin’ halfway / about the Iowa way we treat you / when we greet you / which we may not do at aaaalllll…

Mad Brahms June 18, 2009 at 12:09 pm

He looks like a bizarre cross between Willy Wonka and Michel Foucault. Gyah.

Lascauxcaveman June 18, 2009 at 12:10 pm

[re=341885]nappyduggs[/re]: Heh, I didn’t see yours.

Accordion-o-rama June 18, 2009 at 12:12 pm

I can see Will Shortz’ next crossword:

24 Across: ____sucker Thursday at the US Senate

JohnnyMeatworth June 18, 2009 at 12:13 pm

[re=341937]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah, The Music Man starring the Cryptkeeper: “Join us for seventy-six…tromBONES!!!! EEEEEHEEEEHEEEEHEEEEE!”

Cape Clod June 18, 2009 at 12:13 pm

[re=341908]Mr Blifil[/re]: A William Styron reference. Excellent.

nappyduggs June 18, 2009 at 12:14 pm

[re=341940]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: :) Good taste is simply not exclusionary. Ask the US Senate.

nappyduggs June 18, 2009 at 12:14 pm

[re=341943]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: I just messed myself. Neat. Thank you.

Come here a minute June 18, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Reminds me of Matthew Lesko, the free government money guy. It’s not exactly the question mark suit, but it is wacky.

Cape Clod June 18, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Is Roland Burris participating in Seersucker Thursday? That would be a very amusing picture.

choinski June 18, 2009 at 12:21 pm

It was supposed to be me. He’s just my seersucker proxy.

imissopus June 18, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Great. Can’t wait for Zoot Suit Tuesday.

[re=341956]Come here a minute[/re]: He looks like the Riddler.

Mad Farmer Manifest June 18, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Jesus Christ, get a wooden stake.

Squiggyfm June 18, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Hmmm…

“…He named that fabric “seersucker,” from Persian words meaning “milk and sugar.” ”

Senator Bennett is a secret muslin wearing Muslin?

norbizness June 18, 2009 at 12:49 pm

Small refinement: he’s Malcolm McDowell in the film Evilenko (loosely based on the serial killings of Andrei Chikatilo).

NoWireHangers June 18, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Well. I “see” “suckers” but it has nothing to do with lightweight southern fabrics.

alzronnie June 18, 2009 at 1:09 pm

The gentleman is wearing what is called a “full Utah”.

S.Luggo June 18, 2009 at 1:44 pm

Look closely. Bennett has pink eyes. Chilling.

TJBeck June 18, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Seer-stone sucker Senator struts silky seersucker suit.

cal June 18, 2009 at 1:59 pm

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!

Blow Up Speaker Doll June 18, 2009 at 2:02 pm

Chums, that man is richest dude in the whole entire U.S. Senate. Also, intertwined with the CIA and Howard Hughes. Mock him at your motherfucking peril.

NoWireHangers June 18, 2009 at 2:22 pm

[re=342086]cal[/re]: heh

Mike Steele June 18, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Seeing this guy reminds me of how much I miss Michael Chertoff. That guy was cool looking. Is it true he is now living in a FEMA Formalda-Glide trailer?

heroinmule June 18, 2009 at 2:47 pm

Yack, “seersucker thursday” — this explains the facebook update message of a girl I went to high school with. I’d always imagined that she would be married to a sexually confused GOP senator by now, but alas. It’s always nice when people with coke connections inform you of said connection via clothing choices.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 18, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Well, now we know who will replace Heath Ledger as the Joker.

Double Scorpion June 18, 2009 at 2:56 pm

“I’m just a simple hyperchicken from a backwoods asteroid…”

Bearbloke June 18, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=341886]BklynIlluminati[/re]: But Bennett comes off more like Roman Grant, the Mor(m)on Cult-leader (as described by the Department of Redundancy Department) in HBO’s “Big Love” series….

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