liz liz liz liz

Liz Becton Is The Meanest Person In DC

Politico WON THE MORNING today, and that’s not even an overused joke — it truly won! And the Shenanigans blog isn’t under the Link Ban, so ta-da: a link! The story is about an executive assistant at “McBee Strategic” e-mailing Elizabeth Becton, scheduler for Democratic Rep. Jim McDermott, to set up a meeting. Becton doesn’t respond for a while, so the assistant sends a follow-up e-mail — but this time with the salutation “Hi Liz,” thinking that’s what she goes by. Turns out she doesn’t, AND SHE REALLY DISLIKES IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL HER THAT.

Liz Becton is calamitously insane, over the course of a 20-part e-mail conversation, ending with: “Sounds like you got played by someone who KNOWS I hate that name and that it’s a fast way to TICK me off. Who told you that I go by that name? They are not your friend…” Anyway, if any of you readers need to schedule an appointment with Liz Becton in the future, best try this OH SHE’S HAD ENOUGH, nevermind.

[Politico]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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166 comments

  1. Rary Guppert

    Jon: “Liz.” That’s a pretty name. Is that short for Elizabeth?
    Liz: No, it’s short for “Lizard.”

  2. JadedDIssonance

    I may have sent some sort of email in her general direction. I hope she doesn’t really believe that the AFL-CIO needs to meet with Jim…

  3. Utile

    I think it is clear that she lacks the temperament to be a scheduler for Representative McDermott. Scheduling decisions should not be made on empathic bases, and her poor writing reveals herd intellectual inadequacy for a position requiring a firm grasp of lucid correspondence.

    Wait, Becton isn’t Latinate, is it?

  4. Speed Ball

    Liz: “Where do you get your information?”
    JPMC: “From people that hate your guts.”

  5. rambone

    It is to avoid just such misunderstandings that I insist on referring to women by the appellation of “cunt.”

  6. Buzz Feedback

    Does a McDermott staffer really have any room to talk about “eavesdropping?”

  7. chascates

    “I row with a lot of other women who share the same first name.”

    Well, that’s the problem then, Ms. BecTAWN.

  8. ProfessorJukes

    “Elizabeth” is you’re going to be familiar, but “Mistress” is preferred.

  9. Mr Blifil

    Seems like a Freedom of Information Request is in order. And maybe a waterboarding. Or at least some kind of watersports.

  10. Noodle Salad

    Liz is a pretty testy gate-keeper. Sounds like she still hasn’t found her Rick Moranis key-master.

  11. Mr Blifil

    Hey Liz: Just thought I’d drop you a line. I used to go to high school with a girl called Liz, and was wondering if you were her. I don’t remember her last name though. You’d remember me, I have a 15-inch p**** when flacid.

    Anyhoo, Lizzie-Lez, if it is you, maybe we could get together for coffee and then have teh hot, hot animal seckks, otherwise which do you prefer, Liz, Lez, Lezbot, Schlitzy-Lizzie, The Lizzonian, Lizzmeister, The Lizzinator, or Cocksmoker?

    Thanks for your time.

    Too aggressive?

  12. zenferret

    “a past time”?

    As in they used to do that in a time past?

    “eaves drop”?

    As in what forms icicles in the winter?

    It’s not a good idea to be grammatically incorrect when mercilessly overplaying offense that was more than adequately covered in numerous apologies.

    Blogger corrected her mistakes for her.

  13. Dave J.

    Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Elizabeth again. Also, make sure you correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Elizabeth. Are we clear on this? Like I said, it’s a hot button for me.

    Settle down, Francis.

  14. txjammer

    EB has a point but someone in her position should’ve just rolled with it. Dealin’ with a gatekeeper-we’ve all been there.

  15. Kev-O-Tron

    I’m one of McDermott’s constituents and WE’RE ALL LIKE ELIZABETH! I hate it when people call me “Kev” and not “Kev-O”. Totally rude.

  16. The Legend of TeaBagger Vance

    Beth Betty Lizzy Betsy Bess Liza E-lizzle E-Dawg ElizaCUNTY BITCH needs to take it down a notch.

  17. Country Club Jihadi

    This gangster bitch just should go full Wu-Tang and refer to herself as LZA.

  18. charlesdegoal

    I also sometimes leave my desk to go to the bathroom, which is why my comment is so late.

  19. SayItWithWookies

    I’m conflicted — on the one hand, Ms. Becton sounds like a harpy. On the other hand, the meeting the other person was trying to set up was for JP Morgan Chase. I think I’m siding with the harpy on this one.

  20. StarkRavingMan

    OK, I confess. We used to call her “Jizzy Lizzy” back in middle school.

    We didn’t think the scars would last this long.

  21. qwerty42

    Well, that will certainly make her life better. I went to Shenanigans and she is getting slammed in the comments. I do feel sorry for her; now she is also famous in Wonkette (the well-known Library of Congress SCOTUS blog).

  22. Come here a minute

    Liz (seething in anger):

    Are we clear on this?

    XXX (apologetically):

    I am very sorry if I offended you.

    Liz (in a rage):

    Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Elizabeth again. Also, make sure you correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Elizabeth.

    XXX:

    Thanks Liz. And sorry.

  23. norbizness

    Judging by her grotesque Six Flags-caricaturist picture used in The Politico (Mexico’s finest paper recycling RNC talking points), she appears to be one of the many Peggy Noonan clones developed by Josef Mongele in the jungles of Brazil. I sawr a documentary about it, and James Mason was involved as well.

  24. The Legend of TeaBagger Vance

    as an italian-american with a 5-syllable name that gets mis-pronounced ALL THE TIME, i’m offended that Liz gets her panties all in a bunch over a mis-appropriated nickname.

    why does Lizzy Becton hate American’s with hard-to-pronounce names? what will we tell the children.

    i also do sometimes leave my desk to whack off in the bathroom. please don’t call without leaving a message.

  25. FMA

    As someone who lives “outside the beltway,” I’m beginning to suspect that everyone who works in D.C. is an egotistical, self-absorbed, self-important, pretentious, batshit-crazy asshole.

    But I could be wrong.

  26. A Better American Than YOU

    Little Betsy Becton has gone to the big city to become Lucrezia Borgia. Mind if I call you Zia?

    Bett has too much time on her hands to fight such battles as these.

  27. Mr Blifil

    Now that the initial buzz has worn off and the entire free world has chimed in with the aim of shoving the nickname “Liz” down her throat, I feel deflated, depressed, and a little sad for her. But mostly I’m pissed because those Shenanigans commenters got such a giant head start.

  28. The Legend of TeaBagger Vance

    [re=341382]Dave J.[/re]: where did you get your information? i REALLY want to know. whoever sent you that link is not your friend…

  29. Dave J.

    [re=341385]The Legend of TeaBagger Vance[/re]: Not really. Her annual salary for 2009 is only for the first few months. She’s making like 65-70K/year.

  30. Humpback

    *tinkling of glasses and overlapping conversation of a DC cocktail party* “Hello, it’s nice to meet you…uh…Did you say your name was A-lizard-barfed-bacon?”

  31. hobospacejunkie

    [re=341345]Mr Blifil[/re]: Does it get any longer when tumescent?

    Betsy & Bessie are fat girl names. So she’s one of the two. Her office mates need to take her out to a bukakke party. Being the center of attention there will loosen her up.

  32. A Better American Than YOU

    [re=341385]The Legend of TeaBagger Vance[/re]: Nah, it looks more like $60K for a year. That’s more than I make, and I am nice to most people. I mean, I am nice to many or to some people.

  33. The Legend of TeaBagger Vance

    [re=341391]Dave J.[/re]: but don’t staffers work like 16 hour days?

  34. ph7

    Lizzie Becton took an axe
    And gave the Becton assistant 40 whacks,
    When she saw what she had done
    She gave that apologizer 41.

  35. chascates

    The ‘McBee Strategic’ person should have replied back:

    “Kathleen told me you went by Liz. She also told me all about your college days. Wow, I can’t wait to met you. Are all of those stories true?”

  36. 19kevin8

    Whoever was on the other end of [re=341385]The Legend of TeaBagger Vance[/re]: $6ok a year is a lot more than 8/hr

  37. edgydrifter

    “In the future, you should be VERY careful about such things. People like to brag about their connections in D.C. It’s a pastime for some. It’s also dangerous to eavesdrop, as you have just found out. Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Elizabeth again. Also, make sure you correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Elizabeth. Are we clear on this?”

    Oh sweet fried christ in a bucket… she must be soooo smokin’ hot, because she sure wasn’t hired for her tact and efficiency.

  38. Mr Blifil

    [re=341391]Dave J.[/re]: The four quarters for 08 (the last quarter is officially in 09 expenditures I guess) actually adds up to over $90K. Hope she saved some of it.

  39. digibal235

    [re=341399]A Better American Than YOU[/re]: It’s broken down by quarter… $88k/year.


  40. Post author
    Jim Newell

    Oh I probably shouldn’t have linked to her e-mail (even though it was in the comments of most stories about this and, presumably, she’s been dealing with e-mails all day), and have taken it down, so I do not encourage any more warring, but do what you will.

  41. Bruno

    “Liz” was the name she went by in high school. However, she was shamed miserably by that name during the high school prom (something to do with many many football players). The new Elizabeth emerged during Freshman Year at college. However, she did not have the foresight to spell the name with an ‘s’ therefore anytime the name Liz is mentioned she reverts to her high-school personality. Sexy?

  42. The Legend of TeaBagger Vance

    [re=341404]19kevin8[/re]: as a former customer service lackey, i was suggesting that someone who makes peanuts might understandably get a little short-tempered from time to time. obvs if she’s pulling in 60k she could be nicer to people in her correspondence.

    what’s with the literal brigade all of a sudden? where’d you get your information?

  43. chascates

    [re=341412]Jim Newell[/re]: I posted it to the Politico article comments. Just for shits and giggles.

  44. A Better American Than YOU

    Her FaceBook picture shows her to be something of a Romantic of a certain age — younger than moi, at any rate.

  45. The Legend of TeaBagger Vance

    [re=341412]Jim Newell[/re]: if you call and don’t leave a message, she’ll know.

  46. assistant/atlas

    [re=341330]rambone[/re]: Me, too…although I use Vaginarian because it sounds classier. Sometimes with “Ms.” in front of it if I’m really turning on the charm.

  47. Bruno

    [re=341412]Jim Newell[/re]: “…I do not encourage any more warring, but do what you will.”

    Agreed. Mission PULVERIZER commence now. See you War-inbox for details.

  48. BlueStateLibtard

    Oh, so the war’s moved from Twitter to Paultards to e-mail now. Seriously, e-mail was CREATED for this nasty work-related crap. And what’s wrong with Instant Messenger, why are there no wars going on there?

  49. Sara in the West

    Wow, to be that bitchy for that long takes some effort. I just get sleepy…..

  50. gurukalehuru

    I vote for Betty Becton. Alliteration turns me on (and I, myself, as the gurukalehuru’s real life identity, have an alliterative name).
    I’m assuming she’s single, and will stay that way for a long time.

    Still, I’d like to see pix.

  51. A Better American Than YOU

    And do not call me a “public servant”! Queen Elizabeth is nobody’s SERVANT.

  52. chascates

    It would also be inappropriate to use either of these 2 phone numbers in an online form that might result in Liz getting marketing phone calls:
    (202) 225-3106
    (202) 225-6197

  53. A Better American Than YOU

    [re=341449]gurukalehuru[/re]: There is an Elizabeth Becton on FaceBook. She’s a fan of some DC women’s photo group, so she’s a like candidate.

  54. boatapple

    I kind of like the crazy bitch. I read the exchange and the McBee EA started getting on my nerves immediately. Using exclamation points when apologizing makes you seem chirpy and insincere.

  55. hobospacejunkie

    [re=341456]chascates[/re]: Pure, unadulterated evil.

    I’m headed over to Bessie’s to dry hump one of her cow legs. Anyone wanna join me?

  56. genericuserid

    [re=341358]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: I am a Liz, and I am totally steeling that.

  57. freeradical

    I’m an old timer Dem Hill staffer, and the fact that she worked for Repugs and then McDermott hired her is infuriating. There are plent of poor Dems that worked for free for Obama and other Dems in the 08 campaign that deserve a shot to have the fun that is the Hill. Fire her ass (because she deserves it for her birchy actions), and hire a Dem. The BEST part? That the lobbyists outed her bullshit to Politico. She gives us other REAL public servants a bad name. She can make my Pot Belly sandwiches I buy every Friday.

  58. Crazybroad

    [re=341424]A Better American Than YOU[/re]: [re=341319]19kevin8[/re]: That isn’t PMS, it’s friggin’ MENOPAUSE.

  59. Woodwards Friend

    Hi Liz,

    I just wanted to let you know that, since, as a taxpayer I pay your salary, I will be referring to you as Liz in any official communication. I don’t know if you particularly care at this point but I felt it was best to put that on the record. And feel free to call me Woody!

    Thanks,
    Woodwards Friend

  60. problemwithcaring

    “A meeting with Jim McDermott is a fucking value thing!”

    Give small people the slightest semblance of power and they suddenly go all “Uday Hussein” on a bitch.

  61. Lazy Media

    [re=341382]Dave J.[/re]: GAAAAH! She started in Alaska! Nutjob snowbilly biznitch from hell NOT named Palin! Run, run, run!!!!111!1

  62. WideStance

    Given that XXX was trying to set up a meeting for a lobbyist for Citigroup, I think Liz’s emails were beautifully done.

  63. Youstonedorjuststupid?

    Fuck, I knew it, saw this earlier and was waiting with baited breath for it to hit here, then I had the great idea to take a nap. :/

    oh well, at least I got someone to send her an e-mail addressing her as E.Lizardbreath at HuffPo. I also invited her to enjoy a bag of dicks on shenanigans, so I feel good about that.

  64. FlownOver

    Lay off. She was becton all night in an alley by Logan Circle, so today she’s a little tired an’ cranky.

  65. Lazy Media

    [re=341412]Jim Newell[/re]: Ha ha! Real world intersections with teh reading/commenting world SUXES, doesn’t they?

    I got physically threatened at a college basketball game one time, because I had written a critique of the frat boys’ cheering technique (it failed to measure up to my previous alma mater’s). Not being a total puscatore, I left press row and went up and sat with the threateners, which moderated the threats slightly, but not completely. Reading sucks.

  66. Lazy Media

    [re=341516]Youstonedorjuststupid?[/re]: Bated. Does baited even make sense? You were eating sushi? Srsly, wtf?


  67. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=341523]Lazy Media[/re]: I think “sending stupid e-mails” is considered part of the “reading/commenting world.”

    I always thought it was exciting when Paultards issued fatwas against me at various campaign events.

  68. facehead

    Hey Liz,

    Lizzie Lizzie Bo-Bizzie, Banana Fanna Fo Fizzie, Fee Fi Mo Mizzie! Liz!

    Lovingly,
    Facehead

  69. hobospacejunkie

    [re=341516]Youstonedorjuststupid?[/re]: Don’t be so hardon yourself. A nap is always a great idea.

  70. Lazy Media

    [re=341527]Jim Newell[/re]: At least you didn’t get chased down the street a la Hannity. That guy should take up concealed carry as his next Konservativ Kauz.

  71. Winsome

    On the other hand, the person who chose Elizabeth’s nickname for her might think for a minute before s/he does that again. I object to familiarity from people I don’t know.

  72. Youstonedorjuststupid?

    [re=341526]Lazy Media[/re]:sorry, stoned… or was it stupid? I dunno still sleepy.

  73. Lazy Media

    [re=341538]Winsome[/re]: True dat. But a non-crazy person responds with something like, “I prefer to be addressed as Elizabeth.” and then answers the e-mail.

    Personally, I like being addressed as “Mr. Lazy Media,” and if my promotion comes through next month to lieutenant commander, I’m doing to insist on “Commander Lazy Media.”

  74. Lazy Media

    [re=341545]Youstonedorjuststupid?[/re]: No need to apologize. I get bitchy when I’m drunk, and I haven’t had a drink since Sunday. Cracked the seal @ 4:30, and now I’ve had eight glasses of wine in two hours. Apparently, I’m an alcoholic.

  75. CollegeStudent

    There was a musician (read: band geek) at my high school who went by Be-beth. will that work better?

  76. 19kevin8

    [re=341552]Lazy Media[/re]:
    *ding ding* Commander, Lazy Media, arriving.
    no stinger for you.

  77. Holding Out for a Hero

    [re=341412]Jim Newell[/re]: In order to make up for it, why don’t we all take up a collection to take LIZ out and get her knee-walking drunk and then laid like a linoleum floor. I heard Senator Ensign might be up for it.

  78. Hill Staffer

    Would Senator Ensign lick the cheese “fumunda” her thick knees? Oh LIZ….you have kankles!

  79. Boojum

    [re=341575]Lazy Media[/re]: Hey. You are my brother. Just saying. Srsly. I thought so, but the basketball thing clinched it.

  80. Lazy Media

    [re=341584]Boojum[/re]: Anybody who doesn’t get your Snark reference needs to be banned from teh Internets.

  81. thursday

    I worked with Elizabeth Becton for three months as an intern and I can tell you this is PAR FOR THE COURSE. She is full time batshit. The McDermott office is filled with very smart, very dedicated people who deeply care about what they do. It’s an ongoing tragedy that they have to work under Loose Cannon (her office nickname).

    If anyone is interested, here are some tidbits from the blog I kept about Ms. Becton. I referred to her as “Ratched,” in the text. It seemed appropriate.

    http://intern-congress-lame.blogspot.com/search?q=ratched

  82. boinggg

    Schedulers: The most overworked, least-respected fulltime staffers in the office. Their decisions can be overruled by anybody. No wonder Liz is going nuts. Someone needs to frisk her for weapons, then tell her to get back to her clock and calendar.

  83. itgetter

    [re=341594]thursday[/re]: Wow. I’m so glad you shared this, because some tiny part of me was worried that maybe this McBee Strategic assistant was actually a huge douche and Liz was letting lose some well deserved venom on him.

    But no, she’s just a nasty megalomaniac. Hoorah! Continue the war-emailing!

  84. Grumpyshoes

    I went to share the article from Politico on Facebook. It posted this:

    “Anne Schroeder’s Shenanigans Blog covers gossip and lifestyle in Washington as part of Politico.com’s comprehensive coverage of national politics, Congress, Capitol Hill, the 2008 presidential race, lobbying, advocacy, and more.”

    2008 Presidential Race?

  85. chascates

    [re=341591]Boojum[/re]: That was interesting. I guess legislation really is like making sausage. And Liz is a pig with lipstick. It’s nice to know there are actually some good people there.

  86. Boojum

    Legislation is like making sausage out of money when some of sausage makers want bacon and some want toast. I’m not sure why, but I think the meds are working now and Wonkette is floating like a hot air balloon,

  87. schvitzatura

    My colleague told me you called while I was away at the Ladies’ room. I do sometimes leave my desk.

    TMI! TMI! My mind’s eye! My mind’s eye!

  88. Veronica Corningstone

    Jeebus, she worked for Joann Davis? She must be goddamn brilliant because Davis was dead about 6 months before anyone noticed.

  89. schvitzatura

    [re=341594]thursday[/re]: Is this the one?

    If so, it appears she is Facebook “BFF” by her progeny Neal, William, and Martha (she reproduced? Jesus H. Christ on a Rascal©!)…and she lives in Atlantic Beach, FL, when she is not making the lives of fine folk like yourself a total fucking nightmare…

  90. schvitzatura

    More forensics…there is only one McBee Admin/Office Mgmt. staffer with the title “Executive Assistant”…could it be this multi-culti Marcia Brady look-alike?

    She strikes me as the type that would inflict punctuation abuse on a reader.

  91. Aquannissiwamissoo

    Eliot Spitzer had to pay a whore $1,000 an hour to get a mouth spank like Liz gives out for free.

    I love Liz !!! Talk mean to me !!!

  92. CthuNHu

    Best of the 90 withering/repetitive comments at Legistorm:

    by The Founding Fathers
    on 06/17/2009 11:39 PM EDT
    Dear Liz, You aren’t what we had in mind at all.

  93. commiegirl

    But WHAT is POTLATCH?! Is this something all you DC people know? because it sounds like something all snooty and Belizean Grovey, and I think this assistant person must have been totally namedropping that; she brings it up like 15 times. In which case The Cunt’s attitude could (possibly???) have been . .. I don’t know, sort of understandable?

    Or am I overthinking this? Shit. I’m high.

    Somebody, help. Please.

  94. schvitzatura

    [re=341709]commiegirl[/re]: It’s probably this thingee, sponsored by a bunch of chardonnay-swillin’, expatriate Dungeness crab-sucking Seattleites…why wasn’t I invited?

  95. thursday

    [re=341662]schvitzatura[/re]: That’s not her. I feel bad for the poor Liz on facebook. She’s probably gotten all kinds of crap already. I have to protest against this internet campaign against her email account, too. It’d be much, MUCH more helpful just to send email to McDermott demanding her firing.

  96. teleken

    Wonder how much it would cost to get Carlos Alazraqui (Reno 911!, but also was the voice of the Taco Bell chihuahua) to give her a call and say, “Here Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy…”

  97. meg9

    [re=341594]thursday[/re]: Wow, that girl sounds AWFUL! I do think everyone shohuld keep calling her Liz, lizzie, lizbo, beth, anything you can think of :)

  98. yellowdogdem

    [re=341330]rambone[/re]: As a female Wonketeer, I enjoy the snark, but that word is offensive (except when used in reference to Sarah Palin).

  99. JadedDIssonance

    [re=341720]thursday[/re]: “You don’t get paid. You don’t have a business card here. I have two
    English degrees.”

    Ridiculous!

    You deserve lots and lots of free intoxicants for having to put up with that harpy.

  100. malvones

    You WILL address me by my proper TITLE: Mr. Malvones Veracruz de la Joya Cardinal, Adjunct Viceroy and Vending Machine Archduke

  101. zenferret

    [re=341709]commiegirl[/re]: Potlatch is from that other Washington – a redistribution of wealth thingie. We call them taxes in the DC Washington – ask any teabagger.

  102. 7th-Dist. WA Resident

    From: XXX
    Sent: Friday, May 22, 2009 11:38 AM
    To: Dearest, Mommie
    Subject: JPMC Meeting Request
    Mommie Dearest,

    Attached is a meeting request for JP Morgan Chase who will be in Hollywood June 3rd-4th and would like to request a brief meeting with the Congressman.
    Let me know if you need any additional information.
    Thank you!
    Best,
    XXX
    ________________________________
    From: XXX
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:05 PM
    To: Dearest, Mommie
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    Hi Mommie,
    just checking in on whether the Congressman is available next week. [REDACTED] can confirm a meeting time for you – JP is available at [REDACTED].
    Thank you!
    Best,
    XXX

    ________________________________
    From: Dearest, Mommie
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:07 PM
    To: XXX
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
    Importance: High

    Who is Mommie?
    Mommie Dearest
    Executive Assistant/Office Manager
    Office of Congressman Jim McDermott
    XXXX Longworth House Office Building
    Washington, DC 20515
    XXX phone
    XXX fax
    ________________________________

    From: XXX
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:07 PM
    To: Dearest, Mommie
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    Hi Mommie Dearest, I thought you went by Mommie – apologies if that is incorrect. Best, XXX
    ________________________________
    From: Dearest, Mommie
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:08 PM
    To: XXX
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
    I do not go by Mommie. Where did you get your information?
    ________________________________

    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:10 PM
    To: Dearest, Mommie
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    Hi Mommie Dearest, I’m so sorry if I offended you! I thought you had gone by Mommie at a fundraiser, this was my mistake. Best, XXX
    ________________________________
    From: Dearest, Mommie
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:11 PM
    To: XXX
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    NEVER. I hate that name.

    ________________________________
    From: XXX
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:13 PM
    To: Dearest, Mommie
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    Hi Mommie Dearest, I’m so sorry if I offended you! I must have mis-heard. My mistake! Best, XX
    ________________________________
    From: Dearest, Mommie
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:20 PM
    To: XXX
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
    Importance: High
    XXX:
    If I wanted you to call me by any other name, I would have offered that to you. I think it’s rude when people don’t even ask permission and take all sorts of liberties with your name. This is a real sore spot with me. My name has a lot of “nicknames” which I don’t use. I use either my first name or my last name—AND I hate wire hangers! Now, if you ever want to schedule a meeting here, don’t use wire hangers and do not ever call me by a nickname again.
    As for your meeting request, who is the point of contact for this meeting? If it’s not you, then I need to know who because it’s very time-consuming to deal with a lot of people for one meeting.
    Thanks,
    ________________________________
    From: XXX
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:23 PM
    To: Dearest, Mommie
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    Hi Mommie Dearest, I’m so sorry I offended you! My mistake!
    XXX can confirm a meeting time for you – she is available at XXX XXXX.
    Thank you!
    Best, XXX

    ________________________________
    [UNRELATED EMAILS REDACTED]

    From: XXX
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:33 PM
    To: Dearest, Mommie
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    Of course! Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I must have mis-heard and it was in no way my intention to make you upset. I always enjoy working with you and seeing you at the award events J
    Best,
    XXX

    ________________________________

    From: Dearest, Mommie
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:37 PM
    To: XXX
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    Sounds like you got played by someone who KNOWS I hate that name and that it’s a fast way to TICK me off. Who told you that I go by that name? They are not your friend…

    ________________________________
    From: XXX
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:38 PM
    To: Dearest, Mommie
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    Hi Mommie Dearest,
    Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I don’t want to cause trouble as I clearly must have mis-heard the person at the Oscars. It was in no way my intention to make you upset.
    Best,
    XXX
    ________________________________
    From: Dearest, Mommie
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:41 PM
    To: XXX
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
    Importance: High

    I REALLY want to know who told you to call me that.
    ________________________________
    From:XXX
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:44 PM
    To: Dearest, Mommie
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

    Hi Mommie Dearest,
    Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I don’t recall who I overheard. It was in no way my intention to make you upset.
    Best,
    XXX
    ________________________________
    From: Dearest, Mommie
    Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 6:04 PM
    To: XXX
    Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
    Let me put it this way, they don’t know me and perhaps they were PRETENDING to know me better than they do and pretended that I go by Mommie. They did YOU a disservice.
    In the future, you should be VERY careful about such things. People like to brag about their connections in Hollywood. It’s a past time for some. It’s also dangerous to eaves drop, as you have just found out.
    Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Mommie Dearest again. Also, make sure you never use wire hangars and correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Mommie Dearest. Are we clear on this? Like I said, it’s a hot button for me.
    And please don’t call the office and not leave a message. My colleague told me you called while I was away at the Ladies’ room. I do sometimes leave my desk.

  103. geek

    She might as well now change her name to Liz.

    Got to believe the cards, letters and cakes will be flowing in.

  104. Mama Grizzly

    [re=341594]thursday[/re]: Your blog is awesome. I laughed. I cried. And I laughed again.

    Love,

    menopausal martinet

  105. Coincident Omnis

    I wonder if the Liz-ter has a siz-ter who could raise a few bLIZters? Liztaunamo-Bay, Lizzy-Dizzy-ding-dong, maybe she needs a LIZ-otomy or should study LIZ-ology, she could go into the LizBiz or manufacture products like ‘Liz-Biscuits’ which could be pet treats or the term itself, Liz-Biscuit, could become slang to refer to the clitoris of any woman named Liz. Maybe we could all agree that the term ‘Liz’ will now mean ‘flatulent weasel snout’ and we can send emails to her that way.

  106. Rick

    A lot of people are saying she makes in the $60,000/year range. She made $27,000 in three months at McDermott’s office, which translates to an annual salary of $109,000. Yes, $109,000 a year.

  107. bullship

    She should resort to a decent republican solution to this problem.

    1. Hold a fund raiser and raise one million dollars.
    2. Use the funds to get herself laid.

    I am sure there is a nice big pharma company that will contribute to you cause.

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