• May 27, 2012

Ensign’s Affair Disqualifies Him From Ever Formulating Policy Again

by Sara K. Smith  3:15 pm June 17, 2009

You should feel ashamed to even look at this dirty photo.Sad disgraced Senator John Ensign, who admitted yesterday to a boring affair with a consenting adult female while he was separated from his wife, obviously cannot lead the Senate Republican Policy Committee anymore because of … fucking? WHATEVER. He cannot function as a credible conservative voice if he has already confessed publicly to putting his ween in a lady, that is the point. So now he’s no longer the #4 Republican in the Senate … which, oddly enough, positions him perfectly for a 2012 presidential run as “the Comeback Kid.” Just you wait! [Bloomberg]

{ 50 comments }

octupletsmom June 17, 2009 at 3:19 pm

So he is poised to come back as “first veterinarian”?
My cat says okay to that. My dog, not so much.

SayItWithWookies June 17, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Civil rights — revolution — adultery — is there anything these idiots can’t do wrong?

Mr Blifil June 17, 2009 at 3:20 pm

I think of him more as “the Bareback Kid.”

OzoneTom June 17, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Stop harshing my buzz!

Serolf Divad June 17, 2009 at 3:23 pm

It’s truly a sad day in America when the hypocritical Republican party feels it can no longer get away with being patently hypocritical.

By the way: since by his perverse sexual actions Ensign’s wrecked someone else’s heterosexual marriage does this mean that… in a way… he’s gay?

chascates June 17, 2009 at 3:23 pm

He said it was the worst mistake he’d ever made. Things can only get better now.

Lascauxcaveman June 17, 2009 at 3:26 pm

What a chickenshit. If this happened to Blago, or William Jefferson or any number of other corrupt dems, it would have served only to make them stronger.

I guess heterosex is the republican’s Kryptonite.

qwerty42 June 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=341226]Serolf Divad[/re]: the dreaded gay agenda…

ph7 June 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm

I knew Wayne Hays. Wayne Hays was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Wayne Hays.

norbizness June 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Do he and Richard Cohen share the same hair de-colorizer?

Noodle Salad June 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm

He’s sorry for “posting it” to the wrong “list”, ok? And he’s sorry if anyone was offended by his “post.”

Humpback June 17, 2009 at 3:28 pm

[re=341227]chascates[/re]: I’m not so sure about that. Maybe he is just practicing for more and bigger mistakes.

Bruno June 17, 2009 at 3:28 pm

#4 Republican in the Senate?

HA HAHA. Just try putting that on your resume and getting hired anywhere

GreatOldOnesParty June 17, 2009 at 3:29 pm

When did we become a nation of prudish, Puritan, asexual crybabies that…
oh wait. Fuck it!
We should be celebrating the sexual virility of our leaders!
That way we won’t look like such pussies to the rest of the world.

Monsieur Grumpe June 17, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Someone needs to start a home for all these Republican rejects. It should be privately funded by shady pharmaceutical companies looking for cheap test subjects.

Extemporanus June 17, 2009 at 3:32 pm

If I were married to Barbra Streisand, I’d probably want a lil’ sumfin-sumfin on the side as well.

AllHat June 17, 2009 at 3:33 pm

Message from gaydar station: Iceberg! Dead ahead!

Vegastard June 17, 2009 at 3:33 pm

He’s never been alone with another man’s wife… as long as the man was watching.

PrairiePossum June 17, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Now that he no longer has to waste time on boring Committee assignments, he will have more time for sexing the hired help. Idle weens are the devil’s workshop.

Extemporanus June 17, 2009 at 3:42 pm

[re=341243]Extemporanus[/re]: Speaking of which: Can anybody out there seed “Capriporn One”? I’ve got a torrent just waiting for it…

Gorillionaire June 17, 2009 at 3:44 pm

The man looks like one of those stock clipart pics on Yahoo! or something with a caption like “recession proof careers BE A SENATOR!”.

tehbenton June 17, 2009 at 3:44 pm

which, oddly enough, positions him perfectly for a 2012 presidential run as “the Comeback Kid.”

Only if he didn’t inhale.

paintitblack June 17, 2009 at 3:47 pm

Chief Petty Office Ensign will sail away to a distant shore, pray hard to Jeebus, & all shall be forgiven – as opposed to the dastard Clinton – bc IOKIYAR. Comeback kid? You betcha.

dijetlo June 17, 2009 at 3:48 pm

“confessed publicly to putting his ween in a lady”

They are over reacting of course, they don’t really know how to deal with one of their own admitting to old fashioned lady weening. If one of them was 14, in a Furry costume or a public crapper, they’d follow their normal routine but this consensual lady weening in private thing has them momentarily stumped.

WadISay June 17, 2009 at 3:50 pm

David Vitter will always be the “number two” Republican to me.

Mild Midwesterner June 17, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Still no pics?

El Pinche June 17, 2009 at 3:51 pm

jeez , its not like he fucked a goat or something.

A Better American Than YOU June 17, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Well, he has certainly diminished the sanctity of my marriage.

Now if only my neighbor’s wife had an ass worth coveting.

19kevin8 June 17, 2009 at 3:53 pm

He’d have to put his ween in underage Dominican ladyboys to be able to make policy for the GOP.

19kevin8 June 17, 2009 at 3:57 pm

He also hasn’t twatted since confessing. He must be grounded.

CollegeStudent June 17, 2009 at 3:59 pm

Senate Republican Policy Committee- OK with policy being formed by people who saw (and liked) Night at the Museum 2.
Not OK with people who like girls

thefrontpage June 17, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Ensign also resigned from his position as The Grand Hypocritor at the Satanic cult known as Promise Keepers.

drrty martini June 17, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Shouldn’t that be “Cumback Kid”?

Mr Blifil June 17, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Is it me, or does the house bought by his mistress and her husband, which was bringing them to ruination, hence the extortion plot, does it look like a porn set?

martinette June 17, 2009 at 4:24 pm

John Ensign. We remember him when he was just a seaman, wokka wokka.

Lascauxcaveman June 17, 2009 at 4:33 pm

[re=341324]Mr Blifil[/re]: Heh. Barcaloungers w/built-in cup holders. Klasssssy!

horned_viper June 17, 2009 at 4:47 pm

He should join the navy, climb the ladder and become Rear Admiral Ensign, heh heh, REAR Admiral.

mrsixinch June 17, 2009 at 4:53 pm

[re=341324]Mr Blifil[/re]: Feh. Style vaguely reminiscent of someone who doesn’t know what style is and just started buying stuff at Lowes. The columns in pic 3 just make me laugh. SNL did that sketch with Fred Armisen as the Jersey guy selling “KAHlumns!” like the “CHAN-duh-leers!”

thefrontpage June 17, 2009 at 5:01 pm

It would have been funnier if Ensign had had an affair with Bristol Palin.

Saragon June 17, 2009 at 5:28 pm

[re=341324]Mr Blifil[/re]: Weirdly, every Vegas house looks like a porn set. Probably because of all the people having sex on the front lawns – it creates a certain ambiance.

wrytoast June 17, 2009 at 5:34 pm

Remember, remember, the fifth of Blowvember
Oral and anal and frot…

IslandGirlFL June 17, 2009 at 5:44 pm

[re=341406]mrsixinch[/re]: I think it looks like Tony Soprano’s house.

arclight June 17, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Oh, he’s doing this in 2009 so he’ll be clear to run in 2012, absolutely.

Jukesgrrl June 17, 2009 at 6:04 pm

[re=341324]Mr Blifil[/re]: Yes, all the necessary sets for the action: on the pool table, in the pool, in the wine cellar, on those big beds with hubby peering through the shutters, swinging from the chandelier, wrapped in those faaaabulous drapes, on the steps to the bathtub, in the bathtub … ding-dong, is that the pizza delivery man I hear? And right behind him (so to speak) here’s Larry Craig, coming (so to speak) to apologize! They don’t need blackmail; they’ve got a money-maker right here.

TeddyS June 17, 2009 at 6:05 pm

Another proud and good Christian man done in by a hussy.

DangerousLiberal June 17, 2009 at 7:53 pm

“Ensign, 51, told reporters in Las Vegas yesterday the affair was “the worst thing I have ever done in my life.” ”

Why do I think that this hypothesis can be rejected by way of a cursory look at his statements in the Congressional Record?

President Beeblebrox June 17, 2009 at 10:25 pm

Daily racist emails and Twitters, public golden showers, volcano monitoring, ghey marriage everywhere – While President Obama is measuring the drapes and Nancy Pelosi is going to force you all to get gay married to sheep, they forgot about your votes. My friends, we’ve got them just where we want them.

Joey Ratz June 18, 2009 at 7:21 am

John Ensign/Meghan McCain 2012, running on the pro-sex Republican platform! What, too much athwart core repub values?

zenferret June 18, 2009 at 12:19 pm

[re=341406]mrsixinch[/re]: Looks like one of the high dollar locals’ casinos. Money spent, not wisely. Low dollar casinos look like a Motel 6 with slot machines.

Freaking Summerlin… Might fit in in Lake Las Vegas also.

Red Baron June 19, 2009 at 5:56 am

The Sen. Ensign story is front page above the fold two days in a row, while the more egregious adultery of Rep. Loretta Sanchez is completely ignored by the congressional media? Could it be that she is a Democrat? Extra, extra, read all about it–
http://latinopoliticsblog.com/2009/06/02/the-making-of-the-%E2%80%9Cloretta-sanchez-scandal%E2%80%9D/
http://orangejuiceblog.com/2009/06/is-congresswoman-loretta-sanchez-having-an-affair-with-a-married-defense-lobbyist/

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