david letterman parking lot

The Letterman Protest Nuts You’ve Been Hearing About

There are doubtless a billion YouTubes out there already about the half-dozen loons who stood outside David Letterman’s studio yesterday and complained about how “he rapes children with his mouth,” but this one looked good to us. You might laugh, but stop and think a minute: did they succeed in getting Letterman fired or not? Exactly. [Daily Intel]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  1. Internally valid

    Great. Now I need to get new pants as these are covered in urine, from the laughing.

  2. MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    Thank you. This video supports my campaign to get rid of the “free speech” nonsense in the First Amendment.

  3. Humpback

    The depth of inanity in this country — deeply and heartfelt outrage at nonsense — depresses me.

  4. Kinkster

    God damn, there is nothing more annoying than a jewish xenophobic right-wingnut bitch complaining in a heavy long island accent. NOTHING!

  5. pedestrian rage

    Hundreds of thousands of people turned out to protest shrub’s Oedipal adventure in Iraq, and nary a word of it is reported in the MSM. A half dozen wingnuts outside Letterman’s studio? Now THERE’s a story. Like Michelle Obama, I’ve never been proud of my country until this very moment.

  6. Don Juanquete

    Letterman Mayflower attention whore diamonds = 1
    Sarah Palin Mayflower attention whore diamonds = 5

  7. memzilla

    As a Nyawkah, I apologize that my city’s wingtard defenses are not better implemented.

    I will write Mayor Bloomberg, requesting that in addition to testing for explosives at all bridge and tunnel crossings into the city, we test for IQ as well.

    Great video.

  8. Manos: Hands of Fate

    Me and my friends tried to organize a “Fire Jimmy Fallon” rally but were savagedly beaten by police truncheons.

  9. mollymcguire

    Won’t they be embarassed when they find out that Snowcat Palin really is pregnant with Alex Rodriguez’ two-headed love child.

  10. nappyduggs

    I wasn’t going to order the “Jewish” language module from Rosetta Stone, but I simply must know what “shmuck” means.

  11. tootsieroll

    Holy Fuck. And we thought all the mouthbreathing wingnuts were in the South!

    That woman in yellow, like you guys say so often, and so well, needs to eat a bag of dicks. Seriously, wtf is up her ass?

    Did one guy really say, “I only watch Fox News Channel”? Was he being facetious? These people are beyond ridiculous. And what makes me so mad, is that you can tell none of them had read or heard all the facts on the story, because any intelligent person understood he meant Bristol, and that it was just a lame ass cheap joke. SHEEPLES!!!

  12. The Cold Sea

    All right people, there may have been only 12 or so, but they brought the crazy of millions.

  13. norbizness

    Firing, schmiring. Considering Dave’s history with stalkers, I’m not sure that he won’t be hiding out in his palatial Connecticut estate until 2027.

  14. paintitblack

    WOW… lemme see, do ya know what schmuck means in “jewish”? I think that, uh, “woman” can look in the mirror for the definition. And then, lemme see: let’s talk about Dave-o haz a BASTARD son, but we’re self-righteously indignant that Bible Spice’s kid was, uh, mocked? GAH. Too much stoooped too early in the am. I think these wingtarded dopes need to get a job and STFU.

  15. LydiaClaire

    Ok, like our li’l friend Shep, I’m starting to get scared. I mean look at these people. They are very, very angry. And Crazy. Also.

  16. Mr Blifil

    [re=340832]StephanieInDC[/re]: No shit? Is that him giving the snap-sign to the baffled black girls on the street? Because that dude has his shit TOGETHER.

  17. RightLies

    Personally, I think Gov. and Mr. Palin should be less concerned about a guy on television and more concerned about a guy in their daughter Bristol’s bed.

  18. RoscoePColtraine

    I so love to see a middle aged white male wingnut do the whole sista neck roll and finger snap thing.

  19. norbizness

    If they get a few more of them together, they can stage one of those morbid, heavily religious Italian parades through the streets of New York (think the 1920s portion of Godfather II) with a weeping, wooden Palin on a crucifix stuffed with PUMA contributions.

  20. thefrontpage

    Where were the Eliot Spitzer and Alex Rodriguez supporters? Oh, that’s right–in Alaska, with the Palin family.

  21. Servo

    I’ve reached the conclusion that BluBlockers are a major source of anger and stupidity.
    The short-haired lady is like Dr. Seuss gone horribly wrong.

  22. hobospacejunkie

    So going by Sen. Ensign’s example, the majority of Dave’s protesters most likely have long rap sheets for statutory rape and tell funny jokes about powerful women (Michelle Obama.)

  23. krinkle bearcat palin

    i’m a little concerned about my kids getting raped by David Letterman’s mouth…what should I tell them to be on the lookout for?

  24. wheelie

    Um . . . I didn’t quite get the logical step from “Fire Dave” to “Close the borders for 20 years”. But I’m willing to along with it.


  25. NoWireHangers

    I refuse to watch that video.

    Is that Harriet “Inadequate blackmail” Christian in the screenshot?

  26. hobospacejunkie

    [re=340832]StephanieInDC[/re]: I bet Leahy would love it if someone paid his taxes.

  27. ServiceJervixJuice

    Yikes! That monster at the end, shouting about Dave raping children with his mouth, looks like she eats soft-boiled infants for breakfast. By the grace of Allah, may I avoid her talons.

  28. magic titty

    [re=340812]Humpback[/re]: Yeah they stopped being funny when my pity for them set in. Hopefully one will trip and fall, off a cliff, so that I can laugh at them again.

  29. jasper f. krone

    I need to get one of those “I’m a Right-Wing Lunatic” signs, so I can infiltrate the 3-person rallies in the town plaza.

  30. wallythepug

    Isn’t it fascinating, that SP’s daughter was celebrated for “choosing life” while unwed, but Letterman’s child is a bastard and his wife, a whore? Isn’t Bristol still single? Just fascinating.

  31. Roll Fish



    God these damn hicks can’t even get the right b-ball.

  32. Rodney Badger

    I cannot wait until the 2012 Republican Primary. What varieties of rape will Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee be accused of after they criticize Palin for something or other? There is no way to unjump that shark.

  33. Lazy Media

    “You know what schmuck means in Jewish?”

    Yes, I do. Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?

  34. RoscoePColtraine

    High school kids make a baby out of wedlock; adults (one a successful millionaire tv host) living together in a long term committed relationship make a baby out of wedlock, it’s all the same….don’t you libtards see?

  35. Rodney Badger

    [re=340865]Woodwards Friend[/re]: The prospect that your child may be mouth-raped by David Letterman is yet another reason not to have kids.

  36. WadISay

    He had a son outsoid of wedlock. Theyahs a word fuh that.

    Honestly, there are more interlocking layers of stupid here than an Escher drawing.

  37. Come here a minute

    The “bastard son and slut for a wife” lady really makes a good point. I hope someday to read her pamphlet on the Jewish language.

  38. Knob Gobbler

    [re=340845]Gopherit[/re]: You mean “prevert”. At least I think that’s what the guy said.

  39. paintitblack

    [re=340882]wallythepug[/re]: yeah, the cognitive dissonance interlayered with lashings of brain-dead stoopidety, and iced over w/rank hypocracy never fails to get my vote! Oh, that and the bald-faced lying! I mean: why not go for the full monty (so to speak)??

  40. Come here a minute

    The lady in the grey suit is very well informed. She knew about Dave’s out-of-wedlock daughter, and the American basketball game that the Palins attended.

  41. Violenza

    I had to watch it with the sound off, but has no one noted the two guys making out behind that mongoloid at the end?

  42. RushLickBall

    Let’s see, the only evidence that DL’s “wife is a slut” is that she had a child out of wedlock. Therefore, by the power of induction, I now pronounce that Bristol Palin is a slut. There.

  43. Crab1

    This all could have been avoided if A-Rod just admitted what we all already know: That A-Rod is a total fag.

  44. Mustang

    “Ya know whut schmuck means in Jewish?” I think it refers to the penis in YIDDISH, ya schmendrik.

  45. FormerDCite

    “Close the Boarders.” Isn’t that a bit strong? We know these Teabaggers are allergic to knowledge, but that’s no reason to close a large book store chain.

  46. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=340885]Marlowe[/re]: She kinda reminds me of the alien in the Sigourney Weaver movies. The teeth can come snarling out from her head at any time. Dripping with slobber, also.

  47. Serolf Divad


    And all this time I though schmuck was Mexican for “teabagger.”

    Anyway, this is now my favorite video of all time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to rape a Caesar salad with my mouth.

  48. Kinkster

    [re=340836]paintitblack[/re]: I just laughed for a solid two minutes at “Bible Spice”. Am I behind the times?

  49. medici

    Schmuck – (Yiddish) 1. jerk 2. a clumsy or stupid person; an oaf (probably from the Polish word, smok)
    Apparently, “schmuck” describes the demonstrators much better than it does Dave.

  50. Merry Christen

    You people are killing me!! Thank god I’m at home sick, on painkillers and muscle relaxers, or else people might come investigate why I’m laughing my so hard my t’aint hurts.

  51. Fox n Fiends

    [re=340847]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: yeah that was the real highlight of the vid, that complete fucking retard mocking a sane rational black woman, a.k.a. Conservatism unleashed.

  52. taylormattd

    [re=340906]Violenza[/re]: Yes, that was the best part. Right behind the crazy woman with thin lips (the one screaming “verbal pedophile” and “raping children with his mouth”) two guys started making out. Classic.

  53. paintitblack

    [re=340922]Kinkster[/re]: I so wish I could take credit for that, but alas, I cannot. Yes, you are tad behind the times. It was used excessively here & elsewhere during the elections. Hits the nail & all that. But then again, so does skank, slut, schmuck & media whore. Whadda I know?

  54. JadedDIssonance

    [re=340919]Serolf Divad[/re]: It happens to be my favorite wingnut video as well. Pure Amazing.


  55. jodyleek

    [re=340871]NoWireHangers[/re]: I couldn’t decide if it was Dr. Laura or Lisa Lampanelli.

  56. Mr Blifil

    Are we sure this is video of the rally or did they just take a camera over to the TKTS booth?

  57. taylormattd

    Holy shit – aren’t the two guys making out Sal and Richard from Howard Stern’s show?

  58. lawrenceofthedesert

    I always wondered who exactly read the New York Daily News; now I know. Otoh, the News– in a completely out of character burst of fairness — has brought to light that Jay Leno cracked a similar joke months ago, even attributing the fact to a LIBERAL blog. (It’s a miracle!)

  59. nappyduggs

    [re=340958]RushLickBall[/re]: Why do you think he passed the buck-erh, torch- to Co-nan?

  60. misanthrope

    I can’t wait for Palin to open her mouth again! What will they protest/support next? These people make my day.

  61. Manos: Hands of Fate

    My friends, I say to you today that we’ve all been raped by Letterman’s mouth

  62. Paulite

    They are such bitches that they will take any opportunity to get in the news.
    By 2012, Stupid Miss peagant, who has no idea about anything but shooting deers from a helicopter, will be running for office and the headline news will be: Willow was banged on a Pillow, is pregnant. Run in their blood to get knocked up and pregnant so young.

  63. slithytoves

    [re=340933]paintitblack[/re]: [re=340922]Kinkster[/re]: Alec Baldwin coined that last fall and it took off.

  64. Servo

    These PUMA mobs always seem to have one self-appointed spokeswoman, usually a large and painfully loud blonde bitey banana.

  65. Scott-san

    These people will all think the Internet is great once they discover it. Until their grandkids show them . . . THEM.

  66. Gallowglass

    “Do you know what ‘schmuck’ means in Jewish?”
    Is one of the highlights, but there were so many lunatic gems. I had a roommate once, from a devout Conservative Jewish family, who told me that there is no one goes crazier and more willing to espouse batshit insane, self-destructive causes than a self-loathing Jew. I wonder if some of these folks are from that camp or if they come by their insanity by some other means.

  67. maverick2122

    Leno’s a pussy! Besides if anyone is going to be doing rapin in a basketball game, its Kobe.

  68. RushLickBall

    [re=341051]maverick2122[/re]: Is that you with the “I’m a right wing..” placard?

  69. Mr Blifil

    I don’t suppose anyone would care to inquire of the esteemed Governor if she takes heart in the efforts of her devoted admirers, and finds herself in accord with their views? HMMMMMMM?

  70. Lilybart

    kinkster, you are behind!

    How do you like….

    Media Whore of Babble On? (my new fave)

    caribou barbie you must know

    Miss Wassilla says it all for me though.

  71. tootsieroll

    if you read the comments at the link, someone mentions that the two guys kissing are Rich and Sal from the Stern Show. And, the guy holding the “I am a right wing nut” sign is a producer from Ron and Fez.

  72. 4tehlulz

    >>“Do you know what ’schmuck’ means in Jewish?”

    Anyone who refers to Yiddish as Jewish is not Jewish; just saying.

  73. TedTheLightBulbSalesman

    The guy with the “I’m a Right-Wing Lunatic” sign is Dave McDonald from the Ron and Fez show on Sirius XM. It made for pretty compelling radio today.

  74. maven

    Schmuck is actually a normal German word for jewels, which in Yiddish slang took on the same meaning as in English, ie, the “family jewels”. And then, much as the similar slang terms “dick” or “prick” did in English, it became the term for “jerk” (yes, pun intended).

  75. The Schadenfried PAC

    [re=340832]StephanieInDC[/re]: THAT GUY? I read a little bit about your story or shorts’ blog, but I couldn’t figure out what he did for a living, he’s a local rep!?!?!

    I thought PA reps were retarded.

  76. Dustin de Wynde

    I’m not going to link to my comment here on Wonkette, from yesterday, where I TOTALLY FUCKING CALLED THIS, because that would be blog-whoring.

    If Sister Sarah is being sincere about wanting to stop the sexual exploitation of teen girls in the USA, and if she wants to get at those who undermine and destroy their Self Esteem, then instead of going after Letterman, how about taking on the Fashion Industry that she got her clothes from?

    The ads from the designers of those clothes in all the top women’s mags use underage 14 to 17 year girls posed in the most provocative way to peddle their product.

    Oh, right, if she came out and said anything about that, it’d probably fuck up whatever deal you know that crazy grifter has got in the pipeline if the whole 2012 thing doesn’t work out.

    Then there is The Disney Channel…

    Walt Disney makes $10 for every $1 they pay their Tween Soft Core Pr0n Starlets.

    Hannah Montana will have $1 billion dollars in her bank account on her 18th birthday.

    Which means that Disney will make $10 billion dollars…. Read more

    Is redneck, one hit wonder, Billy Ray Cyrus’s underage kid smarter than Bill Gates?

    Or is she an exploited tool?

    If she is a tool, then just what is it that she is selling to the Willow and Bristol Palins of America?

    And why is their mother allowing that to happen to her precious girls?

  77. krooskie

    I thought the worst possible answer to “how do you feel about Leno?” would be “I like him”.

    It turns out I was wrong. Kudos, protester at 00:50.

  78. HopeyDope

    It looks like the two guys behind Ms. Mouth Raper and raping each others mouths. FOR FREEDOM!!

  79. DoktorZoom

    “Look at the two schmucks on the elephant!” –Leo Rosten, The Joys of Yiddish (though maybe that shoulda been “The Joys of Jewish”)

  80. ZorinZorin

    The woman who calls him a “verbal pedophile” (wtf?) — her eyeglass frames are the wrong shape for her face.


  81. SendLawyersGunsAndMoney

    Great, my morning entertainment. I would guess the dragon who asks about the definition of a “smuck” hasn’t had the working end of one for far too long. Such a non-story, the Bunnybrain is really working for anything she can get. I look forward to us kicking her sorry ass out of Juneau in 2010.

  82. marioninnyc

    I don’t believe this for a minute. Nobody is going to tell me that these aren’t hired hands by CBS in a desperate effort to make Dave relevant.

  83. June Cleaver 2.0

    [re=340831]tootsieroll[/re]: These people are angry at Letterman because he told really funny Bush Jokes for 8 years. Palin has very little to do with it. Just an opportunity to rage against having to watch Bush try to open a door that won’t open, on and on and on and….

  84. natteringnabomb

    With so many weapons out there and that these people are still breathing (especially yellow lady)is testament to American restraint.

  85. lumpenprole

    Look at that. The power is in the streets! Lead them Sarah Palin!

    Mouthrapers, beware the pit bull army.

  86. cosmicboy

    Oh sweet Lord, I must of watched this about five times and kept getting better each time:

    “Letterman is a verbal pedophile. He rapes children with his mouth”- WTF?

    “Do you know what ‘Schmuck’ means in Jewish”- Oy.

    “They were watching a basketball game….” Have they started an honest to God Basketball league. Are the Beers playing in it?

    The only thing missing was former dating show contestant John “Johnny Z” Ziegler and his perpetual “I’m-strung-out-of my-mind-on-oxycontin” laugh and his shit-eating-“I-just-fucked-the-neighbors-dog” grin!!!!!

  87. Rev. Peter Lemonjello

    I was having a bad day until I saw this.

    Thank you, Jonah Hill or Green or whatever your hebraic name may be today.

  88. Trace

    If the Scientology protests didn’t work, why would this? At least anonymous had masks.

    I wish these people had worn masks…

  89. eclecticbrotha

    I thought it was a funny vid until the Carol Burnett clone started screaming about mouth rape. Now I’m not so glad we had this time together…

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