Wonkette
Every Democratic candidate for president likes to say they’ll be a champion of the gay community and will offer them free dental dams on Fridays plus a full repeal of the dumb “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy plus mandatory gay marriage and so on. And President Obama has so far sucked in that regard, because he has been so distracted with the economy and healthcare and “other things,” such as North Korea and Iraq.
But today he’ll sign a presidential memorandum extending benefits to the gay partners of federal employees. These benefits will not include broad health insurance coverage, though, which is the thing most people think about when they think about “employment benefits.” Maybe they will get discounts when they visit national parks or something?
U.S. to Extend Its Job Benefits to Gay Partners [New York Times]
…without medical coverage how do they expect them to get gay abortions?
But it’s free to go into National Pa….oh, I get it.
Maybe they will get discounts when they visit national parks or something?
No, just free guns.
So how does a member of the military extend benefits to his partner? I sense a catch-22.
Obviously he’s going to need to work out some kind of ‘rights voucher’ system for us queer folks. I plan to use all mine on tranny whores.
Can’t we just accept that he’s more comfortable dealing with this on the downlow?
Mr Blifil: i learned about that from law and order.
According to Sen. Ensign, marriages need defending now more than ever.
Federal job benefits: working in a crummy building at a metal desk, your agency’s top guy or gal in a revolving door with the industry you regulate, answering inquiries from confused and/or angry members of the public, and policy decisions constantly second-guessed by Congress after you try to reconcile the conflicting or vague legislation the same goobers passed in between fund-raising events and posturing for C-SPAN. But hey, pensions and health insurance!
In the words of someone I read somewhere this morning: “How 1999.”
They also get forty acres and some adorable slingback mules.
Yes, the whole 1 lesbian in his administration is thrilled. Say did any gays survive the witch hunts at the justice department? I wonder what they’ll get?
And do these “benefits” get taxed as income like the DOMA demands?
Gee Big O thanks for nothing.
Thanks, Barry. You can go back to being a liberal homophobe now.
Noonan: But it’s free to go into National Pa….oh, I get it.
Eh, not so much. Driving in to most Natl Parks, you’ll find they have a $15 entry fee (good for one week) or you can buy an annual pass for $30. The park service doesn’t collect the fees in parks where it’s inconvenient to do so, and many have their entry stations unmanned in the off season, so then they’re free.
But I say NO DISCOUNT for the gheys! I don’t want my kids to have to be stepping over those gays buttsexing away in the middle of our hiking trails or somesuch. Besides, that sort of activity scares the marmots and mountain goats and squirrels away.
Not only that, but since it’s a memo it’s rescinded when he leaves office. Which might be in less than four years, the way things are going.
If Hopey’s looking for a favor to do for the queers (so we’ll keep giving Democrats money), he could try getting the MPAA to change the rating of Bruno back to NC-17.
What, Obama doesn’t have any leftover ‘Yes, We Can’ pens or mugs to shut us up? I feel one of my rages coming on.
Gays are now permitted to steal 50% more office supplies.
And I gave scarab’s hilarious comment a shout out on Twitter. Book deal to follow.
“Sorry about dragging my feet on repealing DOMA and DADT. Here, have a stale package oyster crackers I found in an old suit of mine!”
When we will realize he only beats us because he loves us? Ingrates.
Dear Preznit:
Go eat a bag of dicks…..on the down-low of course.
norbizness: “And sorry about that whole “comparing you nice homosexual marriage folks to uncles who want to marry their underage nieces” thing last week. So to make up for it, here’s a little blast from the past for ya’! Yay! And hey! At least I didn’t compare you guys to bestiality or whatever … this time.”
Here’s the list of attendees for today’s White House announcement, from the White House Office on Gay Issues (WHOGI):
Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Barney Frank, Nathan Lane, Harvey Fierstein, George Takei, Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O’Donnell, Nathan Lane, Adam Lambert, Clay Aiken, Anne Heche, Jodie Foster, Fran Tarkenton, Rosie Grier, Tommy Tune, and the current touring cast of “A Chorus Line.”
thefrontpage: Nathan Lane is attending twice. The first time in drag. What I don’t understand is why the meeting is being boycotted by Richard Simmons.
Let the WHOGI win!
widestanceromancer: Apparently they shortened the real catchphrase to fit on mugs & shirts. The original was “Yes, We Can. But Teh Gayz Can’t.”
The Cold Sea: Oh, get off it. Barry is so friendly people often thought he *was* gay before he married.
Nigerian Business Executive: Now that is interesting. Quote w/source please.
Mr Blifil:
I’m stealing that.
As glad as I was to hear that they are reacting after they found out their Gay ATM was in some peril, it quickly diminished when I found out how half-assed and hastily thrown together this piece of shit was just to placate us.
I think our reaction to all this is perfectly legitimate, akin to how one would react if their husband forgot an anniversary because he was boinking her co-worker and said “sorry ’bout that, Sugartits… maybe this half off coupon to Applebees will make it better.”
I don’t know what everyone’s all messed up over. As a gay myself, I’m just happy we have someone attractive in office. Fuck all them benefits and things.
When teh gheys are bitter…do they cling to their better than average educations and gobs of disposable income?
as long as he continues to go shirtless on Hawaiian beaches, Barry shall be forgiven. What do you want Wanuts shirtless?
Sorry lesbians, you just got screwed by Obama.
I am confused by the alt-text. I thought those were lesbians getting married. If they’re gays, shouldn’t they be wearing tank tops under their tuxedos? And with the cats and everything…?
Bruno: As mad as the gays are right now, he’s gonna have to go pantsless, too.
AxmxZ: “Source”? “Quote”? Where do you think you are. Kos?
But for the greater good, here it is in all it’s acidic glory. An actual passage from the actual brief defending DOMA filed by Obama’s actual DOJ:
The courts have followed this principle, moreover, in relation to the validity of marriages performed in other States. Both the First and Second Restatements of Conflict of Laws recognize that State courts may refuse to give effect to a marriage, or to certain incidents of a marriage, that contravene the forum State’s policy. See Restatement (First) of Conflict of Laws § 134; Restatement (Second) of Conflict of Laws § 284.5 And the courts have widely held that certain marriages performed elsewhere need not be given effect, because they conflicted with the public policy of the forum. See, e.g., Catalano v. Catalano, 170 A.2d 726, 728-29 (Conn. 1961) (marriage of uncle to niece, “though valid in Italy under its laws, was not valid in Connecticut because it contravened the public policy of th[at] state”); Wilkins v. Zelichowski, 140 A.2d 65, 67-68 (N.J. 1958) (marriage of 16-year-old female held invalid in New Jersey, regardless of validity in Indiana where performed, in light of N.J. policy reflected in statute permitting adult female to secure annulment of her underage marriage); In re Mortenson’s Estate, 316 P.2d 1106 (Ariz. 1957) (marriage of first cousins held invalid in Arizona, though lawfully performed in New Mexico, given Arizona policy reflected in statute declaring such marriages “prohibited and void”).
From Joe.My.God.
Satisfied that I did my homework before I got angry?
Bruno: assistant/atlas: Naked Rahm or nothing. It’s gonna take a lot more than Barry’s junk now.
Land of the “free,” home of the “brave”…