Disgraced Whore Of Babylon John Ensign’s Sexy BBQ Postponed

by Sara K. Smith

Scheduling conflicts!The Republican Renewal Project, which aims to help GOP candidates in Nevada, has a hot new slogan: “It is time to be proud again.” And that is why they are proudly postponing a fundraising dinner featuring Senator John Ensign, due to “a scheduling conflict,” which is probably not related at all to his shameful courting of an adult human female for a brief period of time last year. [Republican Renewal Project]

 
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{ 50 comments }

memzilla June 17, 2009 at 9:45 am

Should John Ensign be doing *anything* that has the phrase “a new date” in it?

Johnny Zhivago June 17, 2009 at 9:49 am

Is that really how you’re supposed to spell “Barbeque”?

TGY June 17, 2009 at 9:50 am

“Renewal Postponed” just about says it all.

Bruno June 17, 2009 at 9:50 am

Well, at least we can suspect its safe to have young boys around the guy. It would be much worse if they just cancelled the children’s activities at the BBQ

Bruno June 17, 2009 at 9:52 am

[re=340675]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: That spelling is how you indicate you are classy in the State of Nevada

Serolf Divad June 17, 2009 at 9:54 am

He probably had better things to pork that day.

memzilla June 17, 2009 at 9:55 am

“Republican Renewal” is an anagram for “A Bare Prince, Unwell.”

Geez, secret message much, Sen. Ensign?

x111e7thst June 17, 2009 at 9:57 am

[re=340677]Bruno[/re]: I’d need to see pictures of this guy getting a golden shower from an adult female on a public sidewalk at high noon before I felt sure it was ok to let him anywhere close to young boys. The fact remains that he is a Republican.

Mild Midwesterner June 17, 2009 at 10:00 am

Why is he giving up on this hot piece of meat?

WadISay June 17, 2009 at 10:01 am

Dear Republican Renewal Project:

I regret that I cannot attend your bar-b-que on the 19th due to a scheduling conflict. It seems that, at that time, my wife will be shoving an electric cattle prod up my prostrate ass. Thank you for your understanding.

John Ensign

Mr Blifil June 17, 2009 at 10:04 am

Shame. If there’s one thing the dude knew how to do it’s slip a sausage.

Humpback June 17, 2009 at 10:05 am

[re=340675]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: I think it’s about lining up for a date with a real doll–the Barbie queue.

Wet Work June 17, 2009 at 10:07 am

[re=340689]Mr Blifil[/re]: It’s postponed, which means “hold the sausage”.

Heh.

V572625694 June 17, 2009 at 10:08 am

So at a Republican Renewal Bar-Be-Queue, do they pass around big slabs of slow-roasted baby back pork ribs, dripping with delicious tomato/vinegar/mustard/onion sauce, and every diner grabs off a piece to gnaw on, and lets the fat and sauce dribble down the starched front of his tuxedo shirt? With white bread on the side, and little tiny paper napkins that make the idea of “cleaning up” a cruel joke?

Because if they did, that would be awesome!

But more likely it’s burger meat drowning in catsup served on a Wonderbread bun

Ignorman June 17, 2009 at 10:10 am

An even hotter new slogan: “It is time to be hard again.”

zenferret June 17, 2009 at 10:11 am

John Ensign was tired of all the publicity Jim Gibbons was getting. But he’s going to have a hard time becoming King of all Nevada Weenies until he also tries to molest a cocktail waitress in a parking lot. Consensual sex even with a friend’s wife isn’t nearly enough.

Harry Reid is the sane politician from Nevada. He’s just a Mormon convert who almost got blown up by the mob.

Fighting Bill June 17, 2009 at 10:13 am

Gots to get some photos of the staffer and his wife; also the Mrs. Only then can the Wonkette nation pass judgement on the Ensign. Perhaps his objection, in Bill Clinton’s case, was to the object of Clinton’s indiscretion rather than the infidelity.

V572625694 June 17, 2009 at 10:18 am
LittlePig June 17, 2009 at 10:24 am

Dude married Lili Tomlin?

A Better American Than YOU June 17, 2009 at 10:25 am

I just read that the reason he decided to go public is that his ex-mistress was trying to extort money out of him.

So she has her own PAC?

PrairiePossum June 17, 2009 at 10:27 am

New slogan: “It is time to be proud again” = “Hey look America, we’re screwing adult women again.”

gjdodger June 17, 2009 at 10:33 am

I like the subtlety of the big, red “Postponed” brand across the face of the invite. I understand they were also going to put a big, red “A” on Ensign’s chest, but he wouldn’t wear the customized sports coat.

WadISay June 17, 2009 at 10:36 am

[re=340675]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: “Barbeque”. It rhymes with “Albuquerque”.

bitchincamaro June 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

Republican Renewal Project: Time to be pwned again.

hobospacejunkie June 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

Who’d Ensign have to blackmail to get this shinfig cancelled?

Monsieur Grumpe June 17, 2009 at 10:43 am

[re=340731]bitchincamaro[/re]:
Or
It’s time to be pawed again.

Fighting Bill June 17, 2009 at 10:49 am

[re=340709]V572625694[/re]: Thanks for that! Here’s some more Darlene:

[http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2005/May-12-Thu-2005/photos/party6.jpg]

[http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=Darlene%20Ensign&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi]

Now what about the close family friend?

Joey Ratz June 17, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=340694]V572625694[/re]: Whoa! Now I’m strangely aroused. And hungy, also.

V572625694 June 17, 2009 at 10:57 am

[re=340748]Joey Ratz[/re]: [re=340746]Fighting Bill[/re]: Apparently Darlene is his wife. She’s got ex-local-teevee-news-reader written all over her, I’d say.

There’s some potential for horror/humor/sexual-innuendo in the fact that Ensign himself used to be a veterinarian. Large or small?

If only we had someone around this site who knew about doctoring animals….

S.Luggo June 17, 2009 at 10:59 am

Ensign also belongs to the evangelical guys’ group Promise Keepers. Two of it’s seven tenents are:
- A Promise Keeper is committed to practicing spiritual, moral, ethical and sexual purity.
- A Promise Keeper is committed to building strong marriages and families through love, protection and Biblical values*.

The other five concern slipping the sausage to one’s female staff.

* David & Bathsheba?

pedestrian rage June 17, 2009 at 11:10 am

Indeed, it is time to be proud again, and how can any delusional Repug possibly be proud of this sex scandal? No diapers, no congressional pages – it’s a disgrace. I remember a day when Repugs put some real effort into their sex scandals. Whatever happened to values?

Yes You Can Own A Piece of History June 17, 2009 at 11:16 am

$75 for a damned BBQ?

Lilybart June 17, 2009 at 11:29 am

No no, Sarah Palin is the Media Whore of Babble On…..

Elm Hugger June 17, 2009 at 11:31 am

[re=340720]A Better American Than YOU[/re]: Free enterprise, sometimes we forget how well it works!

proudgrampa June 17, 2009 at 11:37 am

[re=340693]Wet Work[/re]: Aah, that gives new meaning to “mixed grill.”

DangerousLiberal June 17, 2009 at 11:48 am

[re=340688]WadISay[/re]: Alternate explanation:

“I am sorry that I was scheduled to bang the wife of a staffer during the BBQ. So we will have to postpone the BBQ.” There’s a scheduling conflict we can get behind: “Yeah, Bob, will, Tuesday afternoon’s not good for me–I am scheduled to bang my assistant’s wife that afternoon.”

DangerousLiberal June 17, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=340697]zenferret[/re]: Yeah, and the only way that molestation thing is going to matter is if the cocktail waitress is a shemale, also.

thefrontpage June 17, 2009 at 11:59 am

Is it true that Ensign was having an affair with Bristol Palin?

zenferret June 17, 2009 at 12:06 pm

[re=340851]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Oh Soon-to-be Gov. Jim Gibbons’s rape attempt was good enough for laughs with out her being a he. His ineffectiveness was the funny.

He beat Dina Titus in the race that ended right after the attempt at rape. She’s now in Congress. Sounds more Georgian than even the representatives from Georgia.

TeddyS June 17, 2009 at 12:27 pm

He boldly stepped forward when the affairee’s husband, to whom she was still wedded, told his old friend, the senator, that now that said senator had boffed his old friend’s wife, then both of the old friends wanted to get some monies for the pussy. Rather than giving up any monies, for in truth he is a Republican, as are they all, he decided to get honest. And said senator’s wife gets to nail the pool boy on a free pass. The GOP cheers!

ella June 17, 2009 at 12:34 pm

“Whore of Babylon” always reminds me of Jessica Hahn, who lived in West Babylon, NY during her 15 minutes.

NYNYNY June 17, 2009 at 1:09 pm

Supposedly, Ensign was known for being so Christian he would not ride in a car alone with another woman.

Also, I like how for $1000 you can co-host the BBQ. I’m going to put that on my next embossed invitation to my BBQ.

cal June 17, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Wait, is the “Re-Newell”?

zenferret June 17, 2009 at 1:19 pm

[re=340989]NYNYNY[/re]: He liked three ways better?

bamaboy June 17, 2009 at 1:31 pm

[re=340798]Lilybart[/re]: win!

bamaboy June 17, 2009 at 1:37 pm

He resigned after a blackmail attempt by his lover’s husband?

Inquiring minds want to know, How much?

Doesn’t Larry Flynt have a standing offer of a pile of money to anyone who rats out a Congresscritter or Sinator?

Mad Farmer Manifest June 17, 2009 at 2:05 pm

I thought teh gehz had the market cornered on being loud and proud. So this is more typical Republican fare then. Was sleeping with a woman just a temporary aberration?

Capitol Hillbilly June 17, 2009 at 2:20 pm

According to the WaPost: “Ensign’s wife, Darlene, was not at her husband’s side during the short briefing but issued a statement saying the couple’s marriage has become “stronger” after the affair.”

As for the marriage of the two people who worked for him, who cares, right?

Wonder if they had any kids.

Blow Up Speaker Doll June 17, 2009 at 2:31 pm

I mean, cripes, what are we coming to as a country when we permit these sex scandals to proceed without titillating photos of the actual participants? What are we — freaking Amish? What great American is going to find a photo of this woman?

ImpureScience June 19, 2009 at 8:27 am

We live in degenerate times. I remember when Republicans proudly died in bed with hookers. Now it’s a big deal when the old fellas leave off molesting little boys and pork the adult female staff. Meh.

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