an unfortunate witholding of smoked meats

Disgraced Whore Of Babylon John Ensign’s Sexy BBQ Postponed

Scheduling conflicts!The Republican Renewal Project, which aims to help GOP candidates in Nevada, has a hot new slogan: “It is time to be proud again.” And that is why they are proudly postponing a fundraising dinner featuring Senator John Ensign, due to “a scheduling conflict,” which is probably not related at all to his shameful courting of an adult human female for a brief period of time last year. [Republican Renewal Project]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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50 comments

  1. Bruno

    Well, at least we can suspect its safe to have young boys around the guy. It would be much worse if they just cancelled the children’s activities at the BBQ

  2. Bruno

    [re=340675]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: That spelling is how you indicate you are classy in the State of Nevada

  3. memzilla

    “Republican Renewal” is an anagram for “A Bare Prince, Unwell.”

    Geez, secret message much, Sen. Ensign?

  4. x111e7thst

    [re=340677]Bruno[/re]: I’d need to see pictures of this guy getting a golden shower from an adult female on a public sidewalk at high noon before I felt sure it was ok to let him anywhere close to young boys. The fact remains that he is a Republican.

  5. WadISay

    Dear Republican Renewal Project:

    I regret that I cannot attend your bar-b-que on the 19th due to a scheduling conflict. It seems that, at that time, my wife will be shoving an electric cattle prod up my prostrate ass. Thank you for your understanding.

    John Ensign

  6. Humpback

    [re=340675]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: I think it’s about lining up for a date with a real doll–the Barbie queue.

  7. V572625694

    So at a Republican Renewal Bar-Be-Queue, do they pass around big slabs of slow-roasted baby back pork ribs, dripping with delicious tomato/vinegar/mustard/onion sauce, and every diner grabs off a piece to gnaw on, and lets the fat and sauce dribble down the starched front of his tuxedo shirt? With white bread on the side, and little tiny paper napkins that make the idea of “cleaning up” a cruel joke?

    Because if they did, that would be awesome!

    But more likely it’s burger meat drowning in catsup served on a Wonderbread bun

  8. zenferret

    John Ensign was tired of all the publicity Jim Gibbons was getting. But he’s going to have a hard time becoming King of all Nevada Weenies until he also tries to molest a cocktail waitress in a parking lot. Consensual sex even with a friend’s wife isn’t nearly enough.

    Harry Reid is the sane politician from Nevada. He’s just a Mormon convert who almost got blown up by the mob.

  9. Fighting Bill

    Gots to get some photos of the staffer and his wife; also the Mrs. Only then can the Wonkette nation pass judgement on the Ensign. Perhaps his objection, in Bill Clinton’s case, was to the object of Clinton’s indiscretion rather than the infidelity.

  10. A Better American Than YOU

    I just read that the reason he decided to go public is that his ex-mistress was trying to extort money out of him.

    So she has her own PAC?

  11. PrairiePossum

    New slogan: “It is time to be proud again” = “Hey look America, we’re screwing adult women again.”

  12. gjdodger

    I like the subtlety of the big, red “Postponed” brand across the face of the invite. I understand they were also going to put a big, red “A” on Ensign’s chest, but he wouldn’t wear the customized sports coat.

  13. Fighting Bill

    [re=340709]V572625694[/re]: Thanks for that! Here’s some more Darlene:

    [http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2005/May-12-Thu-2005/photos/party6.jpg]

    [http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=Darlene%20Ensign&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi]

    Now what about the close family friend?

  14. V572625694

    [re=340748]Joey Ratz[/re]: [re=340746]Fighting Bill[/re]: Apparently Darlene is his wife. She’s got ex-local-teevee-news-reader written all over her, I’d say.

    There’s some potential for horror/humor/sexual-innuendo in the fact that Ensign himself used to be a veterinarian. Large or small?

    If only we had someone around this site who knew about doctoring animals….

  15. S.Luggo

    Ensign also belongs to the evangelical guys’ group Promise Keepers. Two of it’s seven tenents are:
    - A Promise Keeper is committed to practicing spiritual, moral, ethical and sexual purity.
    - A Promise Keeper is committed to building strong marriages and families through love, protection and Biblical values*.

    The other five concern slipping the sausage to one’s female staff.

    * David & Bathsheba?

  16. pedestrian rage

    Indeed, it is time to be proud again, and how can any delusional Repug possibly be proud of this sex scandal? No diapers, no congressional pages – it’s a disgrace. I remember a day when Repugs put some real effort into their sex scandals. Whatever happened to values?

  17. Elm Hugger

    [re=340720]A Better American Than YOU[/re]: Free enterprise, sometimes we forget how well it works!

  18. DangerousLiberal

    [re=340688]WadISay[/re]: Alternate explanation:

    “I am sorry that I was scheduled to bang the wife of a staffer during the BBQ. So we will have to postpone the BBQ.” There’s a scheduling conflict we can get behind: “Yeah, Bob, will, Tuesday afternoon’s not good for me–I am scheduled to bang my assistant’s wife that afternoon.”

  19. DangerousLiberal

    [re=340697]zenferret[/re]: Yeah, and the only way that molestation thing is going to matter is if the cocktail waitress is a shemale, also.

  20. zenferret

    [re=340851]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Oh Soon-to-be Gov. Jim Gibbons’s rape attempt was good enough for laughs with out her being a he. His ineffectiveness was the funny.

    He beat Dina Titus in the race that ended right after the attempt at rape. She’s now in Congress. Sounds more Georgian than even the representatives from Georgia.

  21. TeddyS

    He boldly stepped forward when the affairee’s husband, to whom she was still wedded, told his old friend, the senator, that now that said senator had boffed his old friend’s wife, then both of the old friends wanted to get some monies for the pussy. Rather than giving up any monies, for in truth he is a Republican, as are they all, he decided to get honest. And said senator’s wife gets to nail the pool boy on a free pass. The GOP cheers!

  22. ella

    “Whore of Babylon” always reminds me of Jessica Hahn, who lived in West Babylon, NY during her 15 minutes.

  23. NYNYNY

    Supposedly, Ensign was known for being so Christian he would not ride in a car alone with another woman.

    Also, I like how for $1000 you can co-host the BBQ. I’m going to put that on my next embossed invitation to my BBQ.

  24. bamaboy

    He resigned after a blackmail attempt by his lover’s husband?

    Inquiring minds want to know, How much?

    Doesn’t Larry Flynt have a standing offer of a pile of money to anyone who rats out a Congresscritter or Sinator?

  25. Mad Farmer Manifest

    I thought teh gehz had the market cornered on being loud and proud. So this is more typical Republican fare then. Was sleeping with a woman just a temporary aberration?

  26. Capitol Hillbilly

    According to the WaPost: “Ensign’s wife, Darlene, was not at her husband’s side during the short briefing but issued a statement saying the couple’s marriage has become “stronger” after the affair.”

    As for the marriage of the two people who worked for him, who cares, right?

    Wonder if they had any kids.

  27. Blow Up Speaker Doll

    I mean, cripes, what are we coming to as a country when we permit these sex scandals to proceed without titillating photos of the actual participants? What are we — freaking Amish? What great American is going to find a photo of this woman?

  28. ImpureScience

    We live in degenerate times. I remember when Republicans proudly died in bed with hookers. Now it’s a big deal when the old fellas leave off molesting little boys and pork the adult female staff. Meh.

Comments are closed.