About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Hola wonkerados.

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75 comments

  1. Dave J.

    Sadly, this only means that Jim Gibbons is now qualified to replace Ensign in the Senate.

  2. memzilla

    Curiously, whenever Wonkette uses the “Drudge Siren” on a story, it is almost a guarantee that the story itself will not be carried on the Drudge Report.

  3. Blow Up Speaker Doll

    Ouch. Not only working those countless, long, underpaid hours as a Senate staffer. But then you find our the Senator is laying the pipe to your wife.

  4. slappypaddy

    STOP THE PRESSES! oh yeah, that’s right, they’re already stopped. digital revolution and all that.

    but is this not major news? a republican senator having sex with a woman? i thought they only did boys and undercover bathroom cops. learn something new every day, don’t even have to read a newspaper.

  5. dennymcden

    [re=340359]thefrontpage[/re]: I’m sure you not only beat me to the punch, but beat a whole bunch of people to the punch.

  6. Min

    Obviously, he’s using a definition of the “sanctity of marriage” with which I am unfamiliar.

  7. 4tehlulz

    Maybe there will be some saving revelation, like there were wetsuits and dildoes invovled somehow.

    Otherwise, I am disappointed, Sen. Ensign.

  8. Internally valid

    Why didn’t he just go down to the Safeway and rent a nice hooker or two like a normal Nevadanian?

  9. Hooray For Anything

    All is well with the world again as we finally have another Republican sex scandal. It’s been so long I thought the only stupid things they did anymore was say offensive stuff about minorities.

  10. Gopherit

    [re=340370]Jim Newell[/re]: Her too.

    WTF is it with this new age of hope? Can’t we get some serious perversions up in this bitch?

  11. Dave J.

    “@Senator_Grassley
    LOL just fnd out Sen. Ensign did sum chik 4 8 months, OMFG. MILF mackin’ ftw.”

  12. Extemporanus

    What happens in John Ensign’s female campaign workers apparently does not stay in John Ensign’s female campaign workers. He is a disgrace to the city of Las Vegas and should Ensign immediately.

  13. charlesdegoal

    Let’s just be thankful for a minute. He was chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee at the time of the affair. The GOP lost a shitload of Senate races, if my memory serves me right, causing some major resentment against him in the ranks. And you all thought is was Obama’s coattails that won the day? Nate Silver better revise his algorithms and factor in extramarital sex.

  14. paintitblack

    Going on tv to pray to Jeebus for forgiveness w/Rick Warren at his side in 5… 4… 3….

  15. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Any word on whether it was his wife or his mistress that he took to Night at the Museum?

  16. hobospacejunkie

    Looks like Sen. Ensign’s going to be demoted to Sen. Midshipman.

    uh haw haw haw

  17. 4tehlulz

    According to TPM, the woman was the wife of one of his Senate aides.

    Not pedophilia or a bathroom encounter, but pretty goddamn scummy.

  18. Nerdalicious

    [re=340428]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
    Yes, haw haw haw :). Very witty my Friend :)
    This is true! At his “press conference” Ensign said he had a threesome with the lady & her husband! I swear read the transcript! “A women & her husband”! Exact quote.
    3 times worse than the Edwards affair!

  19. memzilla

    [re=340370]Jim Newell[/re]: As of 7:02pm EDT, still not a peep of this story on the Drudge Report website. Truly, Wonkette is the Anti-Drudge.

    This probably explains the “999″ tattoo just under Newell’s hairline.

  20. Holding Out for a Hero

    Senator, Senator, Senator…Air Force Amy could have taken care of all your needs. And you could have told HBO subscribers all about it afterward.

  21. Nerdalicious

    “I had an affair with a women & her husband” ~John Ensign. Read the transcript!

  22. Roslin

    This is the lamest Republican sex scandal I have ever witnessed. Call me when they find out the chick was an illegal alien, spy, or lizard person.

  23. paintitblack

    [re=340438]Nerdalicious[/re]: Why three times worse than the Edwards affair? For Wonkette purposes, seems 3 x betterer… who’d a thunk a wingtard would have the chutzpah for a threesome? Teh buttsecks involved???

  24. norbizness

    He should have waited till his wife had a terminal illness, then served her divorce papers while wearing an assless panda costume and non-consensually skritching a candy-striper. Any less and you fail to meet The Gingrich Standard.

  25. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Can we all at least agree that this happened because we have allowed teh gayez to marry?

  26. PerhapsSo

    [re=340387]El Pinche[/re]: The poultry was asking for it. It shouldn’t have been dressed like that.

  27. bitchincamaro

    [re=340399]paintitblack[/re]: W/spurned wife in robins egg blue dress and pearl necklace along for the ride.

    No, not that pearl necklace, you reprobates.

  28. Nerdalicious

    [re=340454]paintitblack[/re]:
    I kid. I kid. I’m assuming he made a Joe Biden type gaffe & it was just worded funny in the heat of the moment. In the heat of the moment with the “women & her husband”! We luv you Joe!

  29. Scrodd

    Drudge has his little blue siren up as well!

    Headline?

    OBAMA PLAN: SUPERVISION OF GLOBAL FINANCIAL FIRMS

  30. problemwithcaring

    [re=340424]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Despite the fact that it’s with an adult woman?

  31. AnglRdr

    Sex scandal fail.

    He’s fucking another adult. Who is a woman.

    Vanilla extramarital fucking snoozer.

  32. Scarab

    Isn’t having sex with a young staff member while being married called the ‘Full Gingrich’? Or does your wife need to have cancer too?

  33. DoctorCulturae

    [re=340465]PerhapsSo[/re]: Poon is busting out all over? [I stop now, begin intoxication practice.]

  34. rocktonsammy

    So, Ensign is a republican. This person he had a sex affair with is a woman.

    I’m confused.

  35. Dreamer

    [re=340370]Jim Newell[/re]: You just insulted the troops you infidel. Stop hating our brave young men and women.

  36. Mad Farmer Manifest

    [re=340375]4tehlulz[/re]: It will be BDSM with electric “play”, i.e. fun with a cattle prod. Senator Ensign knows he’s been a bad bull.

  37. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=340494]Dreamer[/re]: “I apologize for my affair, but I give thanks to our men and women in uniform, without who’s courage, I would not be able to screw around with my campaign staff”

  38. TeddyS

    And this guy was saying that his fellow senator Larry Craig’s behavior was disgraceful. I am so glad that he is deciding to stay in political service. He is a true Republican, rotten to his core beliefs. Thank you, soldiers, for allowing me to say nasties about this most recent GOP hypocritical, lying, adulterous scumbag, who will continue to represent the fine people of Nevada.

  39. FormerDCite

    I love the month of Poon. I thought sleeping with another man’s wife was too French for Republicans.

  40. zhubajie

    [re=340455]norbizness[/re]: I thought the Gingrich standard was getting a blowjob from a reporter for the notorious tabloid the SUN!

    Zhu Bajie

  41. zhubajie

    [re=340499]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: If he’s from Nevada, why hasn’t he arranged for hookers to do a USO type tour for the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan?

    Zhu Bajie

  42. chascates

    During the height of the scandal surrounding Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky, the Nevada Republican denounced the president’s conduct as “an embarrassing moment for the country.”
    ‘I think we have to feel very sad for the American people and Hillary and Chelsea,’ he said.
    Weeks later, Ensign would call on Clinton to resign. “I came to that conclusion recently, and frankly it’s because of what he put his whole Cabinet through and what he has put the country through,” he was quoted saying at the time. “He has no credibility left,” he added.

  43. Mike Steele

    If we let gays get married, it will sully the institution.
    We should not let gay people have friends either, because they might do something really horrible to a good friend of theirs.

    And I believe that what he said earlier was that “Clinton should step down because it is unseemly for the President of the USA do being having sex with a fat chick.” It’s hard to disagree with that. So there is no hypocrisy here.

  44. Hooray For Anything

    [re=340509]chascates[/re]: I’m pretty sure if you look back at who said what, the people who were the most vociferous critics of Clinton during l’affaire Lewinsky were all later caught having affairs with either staffers, little boys, or sometimes both.

  45. chascates

    I wish these celebrities (political, entertainment, sports, etc.) would come out and say “I’m a self-centered, spoiled rich asshole used to being worshipped and having anything I want and I screwed around.”

    Instead of “I was tempted by Satan/made a tragic mistake/had a personal failure” or in the case of Sen. Ensign has:

    He described the woman and her husband as good friends.
    “Our families were close,” a weary-looking Ensign said. “Closeness put me into situations which led to my inappropriate behavior.”

  46. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=340487]Scarab[/re]: A full Gingrich requires you to serve your wife with the divorce papers while she is in the hospital from her cancer.

    [re=340491]rocktonsammy[/re]: Don’t worry. I’m sure if he truly had aspirations to be the Republican nominee for President in 2012, he wore a diaper.

  47. Nerdalicious

    [re=340355]chascates[/re]:
    “These family-values fuckers!”
    Yes, Newt(the architect of family values), McNasty on & on.

  48. nader paul kucinich gravel

    The extortion, blackmail, bribery honey trap.
    AIPAC’s Federal Reserve does the 911 dance ~

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